HelpMeObiWanKenobi

A Short Script about the lack of OOT in the upcoming blu-ray sets that I call, "Return of Jabba's Trap".

STARRING Justin Timberlake as Luke, George Lucas as Jabba the Hutt

LUKE TIMBERLAKE: (breaks the 4th wall and addresses YOU)

Hi. I'm Luke Skywalker! I'm here to rescue you....and the OOT, and yes I am a little short for a storm trooper."

(pause for viewer interaction)

VIEWER: Uhhhh? Ok.

JABBA THE LUCAS: "Ohhhohohohoho! Ahhhhahahahaha! (Clicks on popular websites tracking the pre-sale) I see the new blu-ray box sets are being pre-ordered in record numbers. If you surrender now and buy them, I will show some mercy to you by feeding you to the Rancor instead of the mighty Sarlac! (Salacious B. Crumb laughs)

LUKE TIMBERLAKE: "I'll never surrender to you Jabba. You can attempt to kill me, but if you were successful, which you won't be, I would grow more powerful than you could ever imagine. Furthermore, I will never buy anymore Star Wars merchandise unless you release the OOT from the carbonite at once!...oh yeah and release General Solo as well.

C-3P0: Sir, you're standing over...

JABBA THE LUCAS: AHAHAHA! (opens trap door, Luke falls in)...I can make any changes to the movies I want...no more bone to battle the rancor, and no more switch you can throw a rock at! Die Jedi!

(Rancor eats Luke, crunch crunch crunch,  Jabba the Lucas laughs, Jar Jar walks into the scene wearing a vintage OOT-era Star Wars shirt to add insult to injury..."Meesa shirt is kewl, right!?" *winks, then high fives the Rancor and leaves unharmed* )

SPIRIT OF LUKE TIMBERLAKE: I still have won Jabba...I will never buy your merchandise again until you release the OOT from the carbonite...at that point, it's a rescue mission fulfilled.

THE END

It's finally available for pre-order...may the Force be with You All.

EMPEROR: Yesssss...the price is tempting, isn't it? Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side!

YODA: Do not give into your anger!

(YOUR MIND: "G.L. has taken too much of my money...I'll find another way to obtain the blu's on the in-ter-net. Yeah that'll show him.")

YODA: Do not give into your fears

(YOUR MIND: "G.L. will never release the OUT on DVD or BLU anamorphically, so, screw it, I'll just buy now.")

YODA: Do not give into your aggression!

(YOUR MIND: "I'm gonna write G.L. a letter calling him a hypocritical, old clod who'd better release the anamorphic OUT and stop using money as an excuse or else ....or else.... I'll microwave my Jar Jar toy I got as a free giveaway with my pizza order, then I'll send him a YouTube Video link of it! BURN, JAR JAR! BURN!!!! AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" .....

YODA: "Do that...you must not!"

FINAL THOUGHT: Be strong with the Force...resist the buy now button. Inaction is sometimes the strongest of all actions.

avoidz said:

20th Century Fox already spent $20 million back in the early 1990s restoring the original elements for the 1995 videos, no? Lucas is a liar.

Yes, he is. Do not underestimate the Power of the Emperor.

Using the force, I have seen the future. I am walking in Wal Mart and the blu-ray's of the 2004 SE 'originial' trilogy are on the shelf and being played on HDTV's for demonstration. Tempting...

Do not underestimate the Power of the Dark Side.

Tempting because they indeed look stunning, but wait...there's a cgi thing, and another cgi thing I don't like, I think I'm walking away because I never liked all that CGI....but wait, here's an unaltered bit...oh man that looks cool that Millennium Falcon flying into that "asteroid" with the music....wow. 

But I'm strong with the force, I will resist joining the Emperor and supporting his evil ways. Plus, I've been watching those bonus discs stretched out to fit my TV, low resolution yes, stereo sound yes, not fitting for the modern age, yes, but pure in every way to the original STAR WARS freakin' trilogy, Thankfully YES.

It'll have to do, until Darth Lucas, or Emperor Lucas, or whoever George is, is brought back to the Light Side of the Force and does what's right: Releases all versions on blu, as a testament to the progress of the films instead of the elimination of them.

Boycott.
That's what I'll be doing to this blu-ray release because it's not the OOT.

George says it'll cost too much to remaster the OOT.
Sure, it'll cost a lot of money but that's maybe like .05% of what he's made on these movies and their 10,000 re-releases, box-sets, toys, dolls, shirts, lunchboxes, mugs, pajamas, pizza hut tie-ins?

If you love the OOT more than the SE's like I do, then when these blu-rays hit the shelves, May the Force be with You, to NOT buy them.

Don't worry he'll still have enough money (that .05% of his wealth) to apply towards remastering the OOT's for blu-ray release should he ever stop being a hypocritical, old clod.

Okay so let me start off by saying I love this site and the new petition (although I'd leave out the part about including the SE with the OOT version we're shooting for, but I guess we're just being realistic concerning Lucasfilm...however it'd be bangin' to get JUST the restored OOT by itself! actually it'd be AMAZING...but anyhow)

I was angered to know of Lucasfilm's stance on the pre-special editions that were buried until the 2006 OOT DVD. The OOT is the version I love as I wasn't down with them CGI'ing the hell out the SE's... these are late 70's early 80's movies. How often does someone CGI a movie from that era? Rhetorical question but still I'm sure not often! Anyhow the best I can get this 2006 OOT is using the "Wide-Fit" option on my Samsung which has about 3.5 inch black bar on top and about a 3.15 inch black bar on bottom (or vise versa I can't remember), comparatively the SE have about a 1.5 inch black bar on top resulting in a taller picture for the SE and a slightly squished picture for the OOT. Not too bad of a squish compared to when I tried leaving my TV on Screen Fit (meaning the picture isn't distorted or stretched yet, but small), but then using my PS3's full feature to stretch it which has the black bars on top like 3.75 inches and the picture REALLY squished. So for now it's OOT, Wide-Fit, all the way, until anamorphic OOT becomes reality (optimism!).  

Getting the word out -- I just posted to Yahoo Answers asking if people knew about this, and if they didn't to come over and sign! I would respectfully suggest that everyone here in support of this petition get the word out in other forums, on youtube, on twitter, on your myspace blog, and however else you can think of,  to come here to originaltrilogy.com and sign this petition.

If I could put this petition into an R2 unit, and send it down to Obi Wan, I would.

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi....you're my only hope!

1/25/10 update: Here I've added the links to my Yahoo Answers questions; Please visit and "star" them by clicking the star next to the word "Interesting".  I've seen in the past that heavily starred questions can end up on the main Yahoo Answers' page thus getting more exposure!

The links are:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak0BCnVcNUPQD6_0pbGnhnPsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100124182806AArsXwR

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ApTnyr.F3vBCXkrtt0jPv.3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100124194210AAhCnYz

As you can see, the first one has been resolved, and the other I posted in the "Other - Internet" category has been completely overlooked but you can try starring both. It may help get some votes!