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DLoomys

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Trusted Members
Join date
23-Feb-2014
Last activity
11-Dec-2018
Posts
30

Post History

Post
#1200611
Topic
Star Wars Episode III: Broken Forces
Time

Very good update, you show us that Palpatine and Anakin’s relationship has evolved and that Anakin seems to increasingly trust in him. As for the change of the scene I like more like this now, I’m curious to know who will be the spy. At first I thought Palpatine, but because your Palpatine is not like the original prequels, but an opportunist, the truth is that I do not know who could be.

And I agree with CHRomer, at least make the effort until act i is completed, then depends on how advanced is act II (if you have completely figured out the sequence of events, fill the gaps, etc) then you can do one thing or another, but at least complete act I for now.

Thanks and I look forward to see the next post.

Post
#1198790
Topic
Star Wars Episode III: Broken Forces
Time

No doubt a great update, it is clear that Anakin is not happy with the methods used to end the war, and something very important, Carima has become the axis of what matters to Anakin. Also as an interesting fact, Palpatine is no longer the President but the Vice President of the Republic.

Apart from the update, I would like to recommend one thing: If in the future, there are more breaks of updates, which probably will happen, hopefully not many and not so long and breaks are only between acts. But leaving this aside, it would be fine, if when you go to put an update and you know or intuit that you’re going to have to make a break, you say so. It would be nice if you put it in the introduction that you always do before the updates.

Let it be clear that I do not tell you to say something like “I’ll make a break for two months”, but to say something like: “After this update there will be a break of updates”, I’m not asking you to say reasons, time or anything like that. Another thing is that you know that they will be for example three weeks, then if you want, you can say it.

I tell you this more than anything so that we are informed, and we do not have to wait for three weeks to realize that there is a break.

Thanks and I look forward to see the next post.

Post
#1128283
Topic
Star Wars Episode III: Broken Forces
Time

Hi, after many months without any news, you gave us this great gift. I regret not having commented on your previous update, but as CHRomer was waiting to have more substance to give you any comment.
Great work as always, CWBorne. It is true that it is noticeable for now that it is a different film from the previous ones, this one is drama and thriller, but it has to be because it will be the destruction of the Jedi, Skywalker definitively becoming Darth Vader and the revelation of Palpatine’s plans.

I look forward to see the next part.

Post
#975959
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

I liked the end, for my taste I think missing a scene in which appeared Fordala and company but also good as well. Overall the whole episode is pretty good. From what I’ve seen begin to appreciate the changes mentioned in Anakin: his obsession that orders have to be followed to the letter, that the Republic needs a new model of government and in this latest update, begins to keep his thoughts for himself.

And the big surprise, that the name Darth Vader is a Jedi title. I had some time thinking about how you were going to put it, because the absence of the Sith was more difficult to think of as Anakin was going to get that name. I thought you were going to follow the idea that the topic “How would you re-do the prequels?”, which was that Obi-Wan told Anakin the story of Darth Vader, the first Jedi Knight who fell to the Dark Side, and then he takes that name as a symbol of defiance against Obi-Wan.

In short a very good episode, hopefully soon we can enjoy the first updates of Episode III or some of the two scripts. 😉

Post
#970712
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Very good update. Skywalker saves Carima, punching Crayde (showing some of his dark side) and finally throws him over the edge of the building, ending his life. Kenobi and the Jedi defeat the Jedi clones and Phakerem is forced to retreat, ending the invasion/battle of Coruscant.
I really look forward to see the next part.

Post
#947586
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

I apologize for not having given you feedback in previous updates, I did not because they were very short (basically the same reason as CHRomer). But well, now I give you the feedback, The truth is that all goes pretty well. The rescue of Anakin, the fall of Phakerem’s and Ben’s ship to Coruscant and now the discovery that they have successfully cloned Ben.
I really look forward to see the next part.

Post
#918926
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Sorry for not having commented on your previous update, it was too short and there was not much to say.
Very good update, finally, the invasion has begun and the energy has already been cut, now it is see how they rescue Anakin.
By the way can you answer me a question that I have for some time:
How are Skywalker and Kenobi physically? I have some doubts about their appearance, for example their hair styles. I already know that in this episode, Anakin takes shorter hair than in the previous episode, but in the previous episode the only thing I know is that he has the dark hair and that he’s tall, I don’t know if his hair style was similar to Luke’s in Episode IV and in Ep.II he has a similar hair style to that of the first seasons of the Clone Wars Series(2008)?
And as for Obi-Wan, I don’t know if he’s wearing the hair style of the original Episode II and then in Episode III he will take the hair style of the original Episode III or he has that hair style of the original Episode III, for all your prequels?
Thanks and I look forward to see the next part.

Post
#794096
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Hey, excuse me for not having comented before've been a little busy these days. It's a great start for Act 3, Carima has convinced Fordala to help with the mission and to rescue Skywalker, Nellith understands the situation and knows that to win the war, the Jedi must be brought to the front lines and Skywalker and Crayde have a nice talk. And I liked the idea that Crayde want to create a clone of Skywalker. I look forward to see the next part.

Post
#758900
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

CWBorne said:


HX leans into Darelda and asks why the saboteur hasn't shown up yet. Kenobi overhears them and replies they just need a bit more time. The senator rubs her hand over her face. “I'm not sure we have it.” Phakerem orders their pilot a quick turnaround and tells them to engage Phakerem's ship, and tells them to get her attention. The pilot complies and in the nebula it makes a hard 180 turn, firing at the side of the Mandalorian's craft.

I liked a lot, It is a great ending to Act 2. They have discovered that the Mandalorians have clones Jedi, and Anakin is in the hands of Crayde now. I am impatient to see Act 3.
By the way, I think you've made a mistake, lines underlined, says Phakerem ordered her pilot to attract their attention and the pilot shoots his own ship. It is a mistake or I have misunderstood?

Post
#755628
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Hi, I just finished reading it, and I must say that I liked. Kenobi is trying to get that the Jedi return to the front line in the war, but Nellith refuses, I wonder why she will accept at the end. And Anakin goes to the same place as the Mandalorians, he will suffer the loss of his comrades.

I look forward to see the next part.

Post
#708866
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

I think it will work, since neither the Emperor or Darth Vader mentioned Yoda in the OT.  Only the Emperor mentions him in the novelization of Return of the Jedi:

So tell me, young Skywalker, who continued your training?
The Emperor fiddled with her ??fingers on the chair arm, remembering.
-There was someone called... Yoda. An old Jedi Master... Ah! I see by your looks that I pressed a rope, a resonant chord in effect. Then it was Yoda -said the Emperor.

Post
#708722
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Hi, after many days of not visiting the forum, I find this great gift.
Great work as always CWBorne. It's a great idea that Coruscant has been conquered by the Coalition and now the Republic operates from a remote station.
The characters have also developed pretty well, Anakin and Carima are already a couple, Obi-Wan and Anakin act like best friends and we finally meet Palpatine, which is already beginning to manipulate Skywalker. I've also liked the title of President instead of Supreme Chancellor, on
earlier drafts was President Palpatine not Supreme Chancellor Palpatine.

Just a little question, will you show Yoda in this episode?