Ash, brother, you have no idea how similar your whole situation with her is to a previous situation between me and a friend, one that lasted for almost 5 years (which is a lot given that I’m 17). I loved her with all my strengths - I thought she was the love of my life. She was everything I wanted. And I, of course, was her best friend, that is all, thank you very much. And she was a very cold person, so sometimes she’d be very rude and harsh to me, to the point where all of my friends have at some point told me to get away from her for her coldness alone, not even thinking about my feelings toward her. Well, anyway. It ended because last year something happened: she got interested in me. I was so amazed. I didn’t know how to react. Of course, that naturally led to a big time fuck up by me. And, of course, she went away. Scared. Never wanting to try again - especially now that she had given me a chance and I had (pardon my recurring language) fucked up that bad. So, reluctantly, and with much help from several friends, we got away from each other. I mean, I got away from her. She sort of wanted to get away, but I didn’t - but it had to happen. It felt like losing an arm. Heck it felt like losing half a body, but it happened. We got away from each other for 3 months. That had happened before - but what was different about those 3 months last year, is that I found someone new. Someone that felt the same way. And it was so so so undescribably refreshing. Then we got close again, but as friends*. Both of us moved soon after too, and now we’re some good 2000 miles apart, so my romantic feelings towards her were going to have to end one way or the other.
*: she’s still definitely my weak spot, and probably is going to be forever. I’ll have to fall pretty hard for someone else not to feel really attracted to her, and I don’t think I’m capable of falling that hard for someone other than her as of right now. But what do I know. Literally.
My advice: get away. When people told me that: "yep, I know. I prefer to be in this situation, as painful as it is, for reasons ___________ and ______________.
