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CWBorne

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Post
#918947
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Kadeos, I’m hoping to do another update Monday or Tuesday (detailing the rescue of Anakin, the showdown between the Jedi ship vs Phakerem’s, and the change in the Battle for Coruscant) as my work next weekend will likely be hampered by Easter Sunday activities.

DLoomys said:
By the way can you answer me a question that I have for some time:
How are Skywalker and Kenobi physically? I have some doubts about their appearance, for example their hair styles. I already know that in this episode, Anakin takes shorter hair than in the previous episode, but in the previous episode the only thing I know is that he has the dark hair and that he’s tall, I don’t know if his hair style was similar to Luke’s in Episode IV and in Ep.II he has a similar hair style to that of the first seasons of the Clone Wars Series(2008)?
And as for Obi-Wan, I don’t know if he’s wearing the hair style of the original Episode II and then in Episode III he will take the hair style of the original Episode III or he has that hair style of the original Episode III, for all your prequels?
Thanks and I look forward to see the next part.

Kenobi has a ponytail and stubble in Episode I with Anakin having roughly the hair length of Luke in ROTJ. Both men have close shaved hair in Episode II (not a buzzcut, but quite short), in reflection of the war tolls, and Ben is already growing a goatee. Come episode III Obi-Wan looks not too dissimilar to Ewan McGregor in ROTS, and Anakin has his hair longer again, about equivalent to Luke in ESB.

Post
#918817
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Well believe it or not, I’ve actually kept up my pace and have a new update, with two small bits of news. First I added a scene of HX and Darelda in the October update (just a small character bit which will build towards Organa’s conclusion in Episode II). Also I’m hoping to have a small but significant update within two days. Thanks again for your interest and so the Act III action continues.

Cut to a large fleet of Republic ships quickly making their way towards Coruscant. On the lead ship is a tired, but clearly determined Bail Organa making his last pre-battle orders. He gives a small speech to the fleet, telling them that they’re not just fighting for the occupied territories, the people back home, or fellow troops; they’re fighting for future generations. “Today, we start ending this war and we make damn sure its that last one our children ever have to see. Get in your attack positions and may the force be with us.”

Lying on the floor of his cell still exhausted, Anakin surveys the room looking for any sort of escape method. He pulls himself up and looks through his prison window and spots two guard soldiers a few meters away. Powering through the pain, he tries to use his powers to pull their blasters over, but a finds himself distracted by something in the Force he doesn’t understand. His second attempt via a Jedi mind trick begins to have some success, with one of the guards beginning to talk of letting him go.

However, again he perceives something off around him, sensing strange voices and thoughts he can’t place. Any other attempt is rendered moot when a small squad of elite clone soldiers arrives and when he doesn’t initially obey their commands, knocks him to the ground with a stun blaster. The group lifts him up and begins to escort him off.

In his home, Crayde is amused watching a recording of Anakin’s torture session. He’s about to pour himself a congratulatory drink when the highest alert alarm goes off He’s quickly disturbed and on a communication screen a clone officer says that Republic ships are in the system and on their to the planet. A small bit of dread beginning to appear on him, the Chancellor inquires how many ships and is soon told its a grand fleet.

Out of his element for the first time in a long while he stammers out an order to call for reinforcements and to get all planetary defenses ready. Before he leaves, Draezin looks at his torture video once more and upon seeing the defiant face of his recorded victim, quietly puts the pieces together. He spits out a hateful echo of the name Skywalker before ordering for his personal shuttle be readied to take him to the cloning lab.

In space, the battle begins with Republic ships taking on the initial Coalition defenses. The former has some initial success, with the Mandalorian and Clone forces caught relatively unaware and scrambling to create some type of organized defense. Admiral Organa orders the fleet to not focus on specific targets and to disable as many of the enemy ships as they can even if they can’t outright. destroy them. He emphasizes they need to create holes in the defense to land on the planet and to decrease enemy presence before reinforcements arrive.

On the Jedi cruiser, the ship is just about to come out of hyperspace and Kenobi tells everyone they’re going to fight their way through whatever of Phakerem’s fleet are there and join the Republic attack. Darelda can be heard quietly whispering for Bail to be safe with 81 giving her a slightly awkward supportive embrace on the shoulder Ben shares a look with Nellith, whose cold distant eyes briefly bother him before he turns back forward.

They come out of hyperspace and immediately sees none of the heavy Coalition vessels; just small planetary ships in the distance and friendly forces, including one close to them. Organa in half dis-belief/half delight says they beat them to the punch, only for a large and ugly Mandalorian battleship to immediately enter the field of view and destroy the nearby Republic ship with just a few hits.

The general’s ship itself now blasts its way into the system from lightspeed while on the bridge, Phakerem’s fears are quickly proven when she sees the Republic forces making their advance. Just barely containing her rage, she orders the what’s arrived of her fleet to halt any progress by the enemy. One of the crew asks what they’ll do about any reinforcements likely coming from the nebula, she makes it clear they’re to be ignored as long as possible, iterating that she is done chasing Jedi.

As more of Phakerem’s forces begin showing up out of hyperspace Kenobi and company are silent and horrified except for Koruysa’s scant words, “Let the rains fall.”

Cut to an elevator door opening and out stepping various small Republic soldiers, guns trained. At their rear Carima looks carefully around and then back at her scanner. She says they can’t stick around as Anakin’s position is moving quickly for the first time in hours and she wagers its not for anything good. The lieutenant says they have to assess the threat on the floor, and Nivir replies they’ll do exactly that, just very quickly. Almost but not quite running, the squad goes down the hall.

After turning a corner they immediately run into a small group of Mandalorian scientists and guards, shocked at their arrival. One of the latter attempts to draw a weapon, but the squadron shoots him down and very soon the hallway is a mess of fleeing bystanders and blaster fire. When the smoke clears, the Repuplic soldiers are left standing while various Mandalorian bodies lie on the ground. The brief silence is cut by a loud alarm going off all through the building. Carima curses and yells over the alert to move.

As his shuttle flies through the air Crayde overlooks the chaos on the surface of Coruscant, and is reassured by the sight of ships launching and planetary cannons/blasters firing into space. His communicator goes off and he’s informed that defenses are holding, yet there have been reports of possible resistance activity. His former anger rapidly returning, in a huff he shouts that their being invaded and to deal with the resistance later. Despite the protests on the other line, he repeats his orders and tells the shuttle pilot to increase speed to the skyscraper.

Admiral Organa watches grimly as the battle momentum begin to shift with more Coalition ships coming from Coruscant, inability to land any ground forces, and their own vessels being blasted by the planetary cannon. He checks if any more reinforcements have arrived and the officer at the scanner station says only a few Jedi ships have shown up. Bail’s second in command recommends a tactical retreat as an option, but after a half second hesitation, says “We stay until its over.”

Both Nellith and Kenobi are giving out various orders on the bridge of the cruiser; her focusing on their offensive strategies and Ben on defensive maneuvers. Even 81 is at a scanning station relaying information to both Jedi while Darelda is assisting with communication as best she can. Korusya tells Obi-Wan an direct assault on Phakerem’s ships has to be done to create a hole for the Republic fleet. He notices the fire in her eyes as she talks and he sternly agrees.

Quick cut and camera zoom on Phakerem’s face as she sees them head directly for her. Barely a flicker of reaction on her expression, she tells all Mandalorian ships to keep on the Republic offensive and orders that all available planetary fighters to focus their fire on the Jedi ship. She turns away from the view with one remark. “No more legends today.”

In a medical lab, Anakin lies strapped to a table while a pair of slightly nervous Coalition doctors prepare for the cloning process, while the clone soldiers guard the lab door. One of them says they need to draw the blood sample, however the other responds inducing brain death has to take precedent to mitigate the Jedi’s risk factor. Skywalker’s eyes betray his growing panic, only for him to spot a small energy scalpel in the corner. Once again he tries to reach out with the Force.

As the alert constantly pounds in the background, Carima and the squadron find themselves pinned down in a firefight not too far away. A dozen coalition soldiers blast at them behind a force field which quickly turns back on when they attempt to return fire. She shouts that they have to get past them, and the others tell her with the forcefield, there’s nothing they can do. The lieutenant starts to say they may have to retreat, and Nivir screams a passionate “No! We have to save him, somehow, some way we have to get-” She’s cut off by the room going dark.

Very quick montage follows of Obi-Wan’s group, Phakerem, Bail Organa, and Crayde all reacting to the same significant sight: lights going out all over Coruscant.

The source is the power center which Fordala watches with a tired smile as timed detonator after detonator destroys the facility, complete with other resistance members adding their own fire with propelled missile launches. Not content with just observing, he throws his own explosive into the middle of the fray, doing even more damage. Satisfied, he looks up views Republic soldiers in rocket packs making their way into the top of the already shaking structure.

At the top the other half of Anakin’s original platoon plays their part, quickly eliminating the small group of guards stationed and within a few seconds decimate the back up power supplies left there. With the the whole building beginning to fall apart they quickly escape the way they came and from a long shot, explosions start going off all over.

Above Coruscant, the faintest smile emerges on Bail Organa’s face and to himself mutters “Well done, Major Skywalker.” He orders ships to start landing on the surface as soon as holes in the Coalition’s fleet appear.

In the skyscraper corridor, the emergency lights come on, yet the forcefields after a few sputtering attempts, quickly power down. Seeing this, Carima briefly closes her eyes in gratitude and soon enough the squadron starts firing. The panicked Coalition soldiers are forced to retreat.

Post
#916246
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Much thanks for the observations ChRomer, I’ve edited the previous entry to remove the redundant sections and changed Trukiz to Fordala (slight error in the find and replace function).

As far as Jedi uniform, there not too dissimilar to Obi-Wan’s in the 70s Marvel comic: http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090112053641/starwars/images/a/a3/Obiwan_silent_drifting.jpg>

Basically the uniforms of Jedi Knights and students of Knights largely vary in color and emphasis. Less experienced ones with more colors becoming more and more one solid color the more experience they get. Obi-Wan largely sticks with that dark blue and Anakin with a gray gradually turning black.

As far as Phakerem, its a mix between Fett’s armor and something very similar to Taung. Various Mandalorians also look pretty hideous too, being stitched together from various parts; a visual metaphor for the unnatural nature in contrast to the Jedi and frightening preview of what they plan to do to the galaxy. They’ll take it apart and put it back together in the idea of improving, no matter what the cost or horror involved. Its not something I’ve brought up because I plan on eventually rewriting Episode I and II to bring it up.

Post
#916196
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

That’s right folks, finally an update after all time. I have no excuse for the delay; work and various other things have taken up my time, but part of its also the third act being more action heavy plot elements (getting characters from point A to point B) which is also trickier for me to write than the character focus and dialogue work which I love doing. I’ve also edited my previous update as well, inserting the confrontation between the Jedi and the Mandalorians outside the nebula and Phakerem’s realization about the former’s plan since I finally figured out when I wanted the scene to happen. The tone of Nellith’s scene with Kenobi has also been altered, as her sad lament felt less impactful than an undercurrent of cold fury which feels like it adds greater stakes.

I know that that the following new material is not the big update a lot of you (and myself) were hoping for, but I do feel like I’ve got my momentum back, and hopefully this can be a small preview of the Episode II conclusion that I’m going to try and have regular updates on in the next couple of weeks. Thanks again for your continued interest in this silly little project of mine, your feedback has been invaluable (and great motivation for finishing it), my apologies for the long delay, and without further ado, the continuing story of Star Wars Episode II: A Galaxy’s Fury.

Cut to resistance forces near the power center, lying crouched. From Fordala’s communicator, Carima asks Fordala how quickly before Coalition troops are alerted to the plan. He replies not much time, but adds that they do have the benefit of the Mandalorians not expecting an attack this suicidally stupid. She replies “Trust me,you’d be surprised at how well that works as an advantage.” The older soldier brings up that none of the resistance can afford to help her if her rescue plan goes south.

Cut to Nivir hiding among various cruisers. With acceptance settling on her face, she tells him that if they’re in trouble no amount of help will make a difference. Fordala mentions when the time’s right they’ll launch the attack. He sighs.“You know if we all make it out of here, I swear that boy of yours is getting a hit right to the face.” Without a beat she answers back, “Get in line commander, I owe him that honor first.” There’s a small scoff as he tells her not to keep up that kind of talk; he might begin to enjoy her company. She wishes him luck and switches off the communicator.

With the last of Skywalker’s platoon along side her, Carima scans the area and examines the sleek skyscraper close by. One of the Republic soldiers brings up several ways of getting, suggesting they detonate a hole, steal a ship to get on the roof, or draw initial forces out of the building while sneaking in. She spots a spice transport speeder being let into the structure with several more on their way over. “How about we try the front door.”

Cut to inside the skyscraper where a similar speeder with vehicle skirt moves slowly into the building. Various clone troops in numerous positions guide the process along with one nearby giving it a routine scan. Immediately however a small beeping noise comes from the clone’s device and she reports to the others various warm heat sources within the spice load. The commander present orders the others to ready their weapons as they prepare to open the hatch, with one of the clones muttering about the desperation of the resistance.

Clones climb the vehicle and open up the top hatch, seeing only dull red lim spice down below. The commander still on the ground gives them a small nod, leading the group to all shoot into the opening, but doing little more than blasting the supply. The lack of reaction causes confusion at first, with one of the clones starting to say she saw some kind of electronic device before she’s cut off by a large explosion that blasts off inside the spice.

Instantly annihilating the nearby soldiers, the others can only barely react when most are hit by blaster fire from low on the ground. Left alone among the survivors, the commander attempts to sound an alarm but is knocked out by a stun beam right to his torso. All immediate enemies gone, from underneath the skirts of the half destroyed speeder crawl Carima and company; dirty and roughed up from the explosion, yet still intact.

The former quickly dusts herself off and gives some small thanks “Body temperature to discharge in 30 seconds flat; bless the makers of the modern thermal detonator. “ A Republic lieutenant grabs the knocked out commander as Carima points to the a large scale service elevator and the platoon quickly moves in. Nivir looks at her scanner tracking Anakin’s location, hiding most of her anxiousness as best she can.

Inside the lift the lieutenant punches in a high floor number with his free hand and the computer asks for a security retina scan. He forces open the eye of the still stunned commander into the scanner and after a few tense moments, its accepted. With a heave, the latter’s knocked out body is tossed out just as the doors close. A Republic soldier to the lieutenant’s left pips up that they can’t believe that worked and he replies that’s the downside of mass produced clones at different positions: “Same eye, same clearance.”

As the elevator car speeds its way up, one of them reluctantly asks what they’ll do if Skywalker is indeed dead. She meets the gazes of the others and starts to respond, but try as she might Carima has no answer. Only the low hum of the lift breaks the silence.

Post
#882582
Topic
The Force in your PT
Time

The Force itself is played much more ambiguously in my prequels. There’s some lyrical description by the likes of Kenobi; describing suns’/stars’ connection to Jedi as “It shines, it warms, and it gives. It helps to create life, and from life comes the Force.” There’s definitely a sense of reverence towards it by older Jedi, but there’s not overt discussion about its nature, largely because it be redundant given such conversations already do happen in the original films.

The more significant deviation is what the Jedi are in a pre-Clone Wars galaxy, because only some are Knights. The expansion of the Republic, the troubled problems in various territories, and the lack of any real large scale was for millennia has gradually changed the make up of what the Jedi are. Most are serving the galaxy in peacetime roles as engineers, farmers, teachers, and so forth. The old time role of lightsaber wielding guardians of peace and justice has fallen to people like Obi-Wan and soon Anakin who are first on the front line of the worst galactic war in thousands of years.

This context exist to serve as tragedy in what was lost by the purge (with beneficial cornerstones of communities gone forever), but also serves as the central question and conflict of the prequels “What role are the Jedi to play?” Nellith, the old, mentally scarred former Knight desperately does not want to Jedi to lose what they’ve gained in the past few centuries; a growth into being not just guardians of peace and justice but builders of it as well.

This is the ultimate dividing point Anakin and Obi-Wan, as Skywalker becomes more disillusioned with the war and the flaws of galactic government, in spite of his master’s assurances to have faith in the Force. Kenobi finds himself as the compromising middle ground between Anakin’s desire for the Jedi to take more control as a means to save the Republic and Nellith’s wish to preserve what the Jedi are and prevent the potential fall to the dark side by keeping them away from the front lines.

The dark side itself is presented less as the eternal yin to the light side’s yang and more of a Tolkien esque corruption than anything else. Its not brought up until the second film, and its danger is more underplayed compared the original films, largely because there haven’t been truly dangerous threat from it for a long time. Nellith briefly fell to it in the past, but there’s a subtext that most Dark Jedi are too irrational and emotionally compromised to be a long team threat.

That’s why Palpatine proves to be so dangerous and a complete shock to the Jedi, because an emotionally focused and controlling person mastering the dark side rather than the other way around proved be outside of their expectations. He’s not a devout Sith following tradition, he’s a cunning opportunist who used the Dark side as a tool to gain power. There’s a line I have where Kenobi tells Anakin that the Dark Side takes the best parts of ourselves and makes them our worst; the insidious nature of Palpatine is that he takes the Dark Side and somehow it makes it worse.

Post
#793789
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

_Huzzah, regular updates again! The following sequence is probably the most conversation heavy of my scripments thus far, as both scenes (especially the latter) have been in my mind a long time and I felt I couldn’t quite do justice to their tone without quoted dialogue. Enjoy and I hope to get to some more action-y bits next update. _

Cut to a pair of hands picking up a blaster rifle, which we soon see belong to steely eyed Carima inside the resistance headquarters. From behind her, Fordala says she goes to rescue Anakin, she won’t survive. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t; but he needs my help, and I don’t care how many troops I have to go through to give it to him.” She grabs a few thermal detonators from the supplies and one of the resistance members starts to object, but Fordala silently stops him.

One of the Republic soldiers walks up to Nivir and tellers that they do have their mission orders from Commander Skywalker, and that they intend to follow them. She grimly nods and says she understands, but he interjects and adds that the Commander didn’t specify which officers were assigned to the mission, and since a rescue is a high security operation, she could use a small escort team as backup. He then gestures to roughly half of the platoon who move alongside her and offer their help.

This brings a grateful smile to Carima, whom gives him a very warm thanks. It also causes Fordala to scoff and say the plan of knocking out the power supply and back-ups was bad enough before, and that splitting the platoon gives them no chance of pulling it off now. He points out that Skywalker may have been crazy but the only chance they have is sticking to his plan; it won’t be a rescue it’ll be suicide.

She stares at him and the other resistance members with questioning eyes and asks if he’s offering to change the odds. Stubbornly as always Fordala growls that none of them signed up for this mission or agreed to follow a Jedi’s orders. Tone getting intense, Carima says she’s not asking them to, she’s asking him to do what has to be done to help save a lot of innocent people. Practically shouting, Fordala angrily reiterates that they are not dying for a Republic that left them to rot here.

At that Carima’s voice turns quiet and her face melancholy. “You what what? They did. They left you behind, gave you commands they probably had no right to give, and told you die for them.” She looks up at all the resistance members around the room. “You know what Anakin did? Gave himself up to get captured by the Coalition to do whatever sick things they have so you could be safe. And that’s because he believed people like you deserved better than to be treated as disposable. Because when he was given a choice, he served others first.” She turns back to Fordala

“Now you got a choice; no one’s giving any orders here, pal. You can work with the Lieutenant, help take out the power supply with the backups, and make sure other people out there never go through what all of you did. Or you can just be like all the empty suits at Republic HQ; safe and secure while everybody else suffers and dies for them. Do what you have to Commander, I would hope that’s what you’re best at.”

This statement visibly punctures the tough defenses of the resistance members in the room, Fordala included and Carima looks at them a moment longer before turning to the Republic soldiers. She tells them to get moving as the invasion will start very soon. She and the entire platoon begin to walk out before a voice yells for them to wait. Nivir slowly turns back to look at them, face neutral and eyes forward.

The face of Fordala is a bit softer, as if wistfully recalling some distant past feeling long since forgotten. “I can’t stand being talked down to by a big shot, overconfident, loud mouthed civilian who thinks they know everything.” He pauses. “And I really can’t stand it when they’re right.” Fordala looks at the resistance members and asks if they’re in. They look among themselves and affirm that they are. He picks up his own blaster rifle and hangs it on these shoulders. “If we have to help out these Republic hotshots, I say let’s show them how its done.”

A small smile emerges on Carima’s face and she tells the Republic Lieutenant to get the mission plan ready. She asks how he’s going to find Anakin and she reminds him that just like them, his internal tracer is still being picked up by their communicator. One of the officers says she has to ask if there’s a possibility if Skywalker might already be dead. Nivir’s face is solemn but she gives him answer. “Anakin will survive. I don’t know if its the Force or what, but if there’s a way to keep going, he’ll find it.”

Cut to 81 sitting and examining a data padd in his Darelda’s quarters as Organa walks in. He says that as her personal security droid he is strongly recommending she ask the Jedi to be allowed to evacuate and he escort her in a separate ship until the situation is safe. She pauses before asking what the thought the actual odds were that she would in any way agree to that. “Astronomically low I admit,” he replies. “but for a droid protocol is next to godliness after all.”

There’s a beat and she inquires why the seclusion, with him responding that peace and quiet are precious resources these days, especially on a warship. The senator agrees, but points out its unusual for him to so actively seek it out. All 81 can do is shrug and state they live in very unusual times. “Hmm, never a happy individual saying that sentence, is it?” Darelda brings up the real issue at hand; that he’s worried about the upcoming battle.

At that HX stands, his form towering over the average sized Organa. He makes it clear that he’s not particularly perturbed about what will happen if they fail, as he’s already calculated it’ll most likely mean their quick deaths in a shipwide explosion before the Coalition can get to them. She gives him a brief blank stare before replying. “Oh, just that then.” He ignores this and asks that if anyone’s considered what will happen to those in Republic who sought armistice if the mission succeeds.

At her silence, 81 lays out the likely backlash coming for such people. “People hate traitors who have perfectly good reasons, let alone those with bad ones.” He predicts the consequences for just those in the Senate alone will bitterly divide it even more. Darelda shakes her at and responds that she can’t let the infighting there get any worse and that if they do get Coruscant back, she has to get the Senate united again. He looks her straight in the eye and inquires if there’s anyone she thinks could help her pull it off. Organa looks away briefly and gives reluctant answer. “There is… one.”

In Nellith’s quarters, Kenobi walks in and informs her they just got out of hyperspace ahead of the coalition and are about the send the coded message to the Republic. She says nothing, with only small nod acknowledging his statement.

Subtle concern on his face, he slowly makes his way over to her. Not looking back at him, she softly but with a hint of hardness says that she’ll have one of the crew include her own communique in the coded message, one that she’s positive will reach most of the prominent Jedi leadership in the galaxy soon enough. Neutral tone and all, he asks what she’ll be saying. Nellith finally turns slightly to look at him, the audience just briefly seeing all the decades of regret fully coming out in her before her eyes turned cold as she says… all available Jedi are moving to the front.

That answer gives Kenobi no real satisfaction, just a grim acknowledgment of what she’s just agreed to. He moves a short distance next to her, now both watching the moving stars. The younger Knight makes an effort at some reassurance “I know its going to terrible, wars like these always are. But the people will be safe, this Republic will endure. We’ll protect it; every future Jedi will remember that.”

Korusya can take no more, and Obi-Wan sees her fully turn to face him, looking to be on the verge of bitter laughter and furious outburst. “You know they’ll remember Sir Kenobi? They’ll remember that some of the greatest teachers, engineers, and healers in the galaxy went to the frontline to fight, and those that came back could never be the people they were ever again. And they’ll wonder those about who made this decision knowing what they were destroying and ask “Did they care at all?””

Its a mountain of emotion for Ben to take in, yet he only has one response. “A Jedi is willing to give up anything for the Republic.” Nellith pauses, but bitterly nods.“Anything.” She tears the lightsaber away from her neck. “And everything.”

On the bridge of Phakerem’s cruiser one of her captains tells her the fleet is about to be out of hyperspace. She starts to say they can’t stay here long, but is cut off when the ship comes out of lightspeed to find a Jedi fleet awaiting them. The same captain asks how they got here first and the General angrily yells that he’s forgotten his history. “They’re Jedi, they find ways!” Another captain asks how they’ll engage them, and Phakerem orders him to to target the largest cruisers at the front and center first.

She inquires about the integrity of enemy shields and one of the bridge crew tells her that while strong, their own cruisers will outlast them in any kind of extended firefight. Very quickly her angry frown turns into a delighted evil grin at their prospects. “No hiding spot, no space to run, just time. A perfect target.” After a moment however, her twisted smile turns into a small frown as she quietly repeats “A perfect… target” to herself as the crew looks at her confused.

The direct battle only a few moments away, she abruptly turns to the captain closest to her and questions why the Jedi would engage now. “They can’t defeat the fleet, they’re not keeping safe in Quandmar and they know we can outmatch any reinforcements they call in. There’s no reason to be here.” The captain replies they may have a secret strategy in mind and voice getting quicker she asks why they’d wait to use it till they’re at a disadvantage. Consternation now taking over she states there’s no strategy to be seen except delaying the inevitable.

That last comment lingers for just a moment and the realization hits her like a freight train. For once, the powerful Mandalorian leader speaks in almost a low whisper. “They want us here. They wanted us in the nebula. We fell for a diversion.” Phakerem turns abruptly to the navigator and the communication officer and tells them to get the cruiser back into hyperspace and to relay the same order to the rest of the fleet.

On the Republic cruiser bridge, Darelda and 81 watch the Coalition ships move out just as Kenobi and Nellith arrive. Ben asks what the Mandalorians are doing and Organa retorts that they’re apparently retreating. The battle droid observes that’s an odd response to a battle they’re sure to win. Korusya flatly says they’ve already figured out the plan. “At this point in the war, nothing’s more suspicious to a Mandalorian than a definitive victory over a Jedi.”

An officer cuts in and says an intercepted enemy code suggests they’re definitely heading towards a planet, but before he can name it, Obi-Wan grimly concludes the exact heading to be Coruscant and asks 81 if all of the fleet can beat the Coalition ships to the planet. HX shakes his head no. Weight of the galaxy on shoulders, Kenobi can only say “Then for now, Anakin’s the best hope the Republic’s got.

Cut to the floor of the torture room with a slow pan up to reveal an exhausted and trembling Anakin, just barely sitting against the wall, His face is red and eyes bloodshot, his form clearly struggling to even breathe after all the pain he’s experienced. “Very good… Chancellor. You’re… you’re as ineffective as you are… delusional.” Cut to Crayde sitting in his office, quietly furious watching the defiant Skywalker, whom continues to talk. “Tell me, is enough appreciation for you?”

Draezin continues to stare daggers for a moment before asking in a low, accusatory tone what Nik thinks any of this opposition is accomplishing. He questions that given both of them know that the Jedi will be dead soon one way or another, what is their to be gained from this ridiculous last stand. Cut back to Skywalker as he once again manages a very small satisfied smile and tells him its the same thing that’s kept him going this entire conflict; the satisfaction of opposing twisted people like Crayde.

The other man abruptly stands up, his patience long since evaporated. “Are you people capable of anything other than than self righteous moralizing? The typical Jedi oh, I expect this sort of talk, but you Skywalker; I was hoping for something a little different.” He mentions all the intelligence he’d read about Anakin, bringing up how his name appears almost more than any other Jedi’s in their reports and that given how much he’s seen of the war, he should be much smarter than this. “All that, and yet how little understand.”

Between hard breaths Nik states the last being he’s getting any enlightenment from is a corrupt ex-Sanator turned Mandalorian lackey; adding that Crayde needs to realize no matter how this war ends the galaxy will have no use for him. That remark gets Draezin in close, his holographic face inches away from Anakin. “I am… the galaxy.” The Jedi just scowls at him. Crayde stands back up and begins to pace around, shaking his head.

“Do you know what the eternal constant in this universe is, Skywalker? Its not the Mandalorians, its not the Republic, its not even the Jedi. Its people like me. All of your little propaganda has gone on and on about how how I’m the scum that double crossed the his people, behold the monster that’s helping to destroy everything good and decent. But I come from the same place as you. Just like the Hutts on Nar Shadda do. Just like the pirates on Ord Mantell. Just like every crooked rep in the Senate trying right now to figure out how to best appeal to me for a peace deal.”

At this point, its Anakin getting quietly angry, refusing to accept Draezin’s premise. The latter continues, however. “You see, Jedi like you think that once you win, all those terrible Mandalorians are destroyed, and those like me are put away, that galactic peace will reign eternal again. “Look out your window citizen, because justice has returned!” But its not going to be that way, because the problem? The problem is the Republic, Skywalker. Its broken, and it has been since long before you or I.”

The chancellor begins to look satisfied, increasingly proud of his argument. “And I know you’re thinking in the back of your mind, “We’ll get a new Senate, take out all of crime lords, put a Jedi on every street corner the galaxy if we have to.” And all it’ll do is just make it easier for the next Jabba the Hutt to grab all the power that they can. Because the truth is young Skywalker, the Republic gives the galaxy disorder, and dares to calls it democracy and freedom.”

There’s an attempt by Anakin to stand up, but he still quite can’t, and relents to sitting slightly higher while saying through gritted teeth (and anxious eyes) that even if he did believe a word of that, what’s happened under the Coalition prove its far worse. Crayde doesn’t care, only offering an evil smile “Coalition, Republic. Same crumbling house with new owners. In the end, the only thing that matters is making sure you get the nicest room in the place, and in that regard, I’d say I’m the master.”

A silence passes, soon broken by Skywalker himself whom says in a low, though slightly unsure voice that he doesn’t believe him. The older man shrugs, expressing that its a shame Nik isn’t convinced, and that he’ll just have to allay his disappointment with the Anakin’s pending execution. The younger man replies he can kill him, but nothing will change the fact that there will be other Jedi.

Draezin surprisingly agrees, and states what’s why Skywalker’s taking a brief detour to the medical wing first. At the Jedi’s confused face the he explains that true to his generous nature as Chancellor, he’s giving a little compensation for his upcoming demise with the gift of immortality. “Of a sort anyway.” As Nik’s eyes go wide, Crayde tells him that the Coalition will soon reveal one of their greatest spoils of this war; a clone of the great Anakin Skywalker.

Draezin enjoys the Jedi’s immediate horror at that prospect and says one last thing before the hologram turns off. “I do hope he makes for better conversation than you did.” Camera cuts out on Nik’s face just as various clone troopers arrive to escort him to his fate.

Post
#792828
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Believe it or not, I am not in fact dead, nor have I abandoned this. Work and various other matters have kept me busy, but schedule’s a little lighter and mind a bit more focused, so progress can begin again. Hoping to do another update after this very soon as there’s a scene I’ve been dying to finally get written down. But without further ado, I present the beginning of Act III of A Galaxy’s Fury:

Hard cut to Anakin collapsing to the floor in agony, stripped to a pair of basic pants and a open collared sleeveless shirt. Sweating and panting hard he struggles to stand back up, his expression pained, but with a clear look of hate towards one person. A quick to a wide shot reveals that to be a life size hologram of Crayde,  casually walking around the injured Jedi, and inspecting the damage being done.

“You know a little note of acknowledgment would really be appreciated. Someone like Phakerem would have cut you to pieces already, but some of us still believe in a little thing called decency.” The hologram’s head moves around to better look at Skywalker’s form. “No marks, no burns; just pain. That’s the work of a civilized man.”

Nik supports himself against the wall,  and manages a few words, asking if torture like this is the way he deals with the indignity of being an insignificant Mandalorian puppet. With faux confusion he responds if that if he’s the puppet then why is Anakin the one flailing around at someone else’s whim? An electrical shock then appears and strikes the Jedi who manages a less agonized scream and just manages to stay on his feet this time.

The Crayde hologram crosses his arms in quiet satisfaction, marveling that this device has so many settings, and yet they all work so well. Skywalker still refuses to let up in his defiance asking how weak and desperate must he be to resort to something like this. The older man flippantly replies that even a Jedi like him would do the same thing in the right circumstance. Nik’s response is vehement. “I’d sooner be dead.”

Cut to an office where we see the actual Crayde in a specialized office watching Skywalker’s holographic form still struggling to stand. He tells Anakin that the latter is prolonging this process, not   him. “You’re hurting yourself and importantly you’re taking up my valuable time; does it feel worth it you right now?”  The young man sarcastically asks if the great Chancellor of Coalition is getting a little upset.  Shaking his head, he bitterly spits out that he always heard Crayde was corrupt, but even he didn’t think he was capable of selling out the entire Republic just for a high rise on Coruscant.

Cut back to the torture room as the Crayde hologram gestures to the surroundings and says that helping to bring about about everlasting galactic peace has earned a building or two. Anakin walks up close to the the hologram and looks it straight in the eye; asking if he’s really calling indefinite life under the Coalition’s boot peace.

Draezin smirks. “From a certain point of view.” He says they need to get back to the matter at hand, and demands to know the location of the Republic resistance. For the first time in the scene Anakin gives a small (but defiant) smile. “What resistance?” Unamused, Crayde pauses for a moment and looks away before turning back and giving a piercing stare towards Nik.

“I think I’ll try those higher settings now.”

Cut to the Republic cruiser traveling through hyperspace followed by cut to their quarters where Kenobi and Darelda deliberate as 81 walks in. The droid reports that the engines are straining to get ahead of the Coalition ships in hyperspace, but that if Obi-Wan’s plan is right, they’ll show up right as the former will be getting out of light speed. Organa remarks its at least some good news. HX inquires as to what the plan is, with Ben saying their key priority is slowing down the Mandalorians as much as possible before they reach Coruscant and encounter the Republic invasion soon to come.

The senator’s face somehow turns even more anxious, and she looks Ben in the eye to ask the obvious question of what the Coalition’s plan is with their apparent Force clones. He’s immediately responds that its most likely a reactionary army against the Jedi, pointing out mass infiltration would be useless once even one of them was exposed as one clone is an enigma, many would be an obvious threat. Organa asks why one revealed himself and Kenobi replies that they either counted on this one being successful in destroying them or something went array.

At that 81 brings up that the Coalition mass production process disposes of any clone they find defective; if there was something wrong with this copy, the they certainly would have caught it. Obi-Wan just shakes his head saying that replicating a Jedi’s body is one thing, wholly recreating a connection to the Forcce is beyond anything he’s ever heard of. “A mind in tuned to the Force without spirit, there’s no telling what kind of effect that has.”

Heavily sighing, Darelda says they’re dangerous either way, and that if the Coalition has any on Coruscant, the invasion will be even more difficult. Slowly calming himself, Ben tells her and HX to get the coded message for the Republic ready to send as soon as they get out of hyperspace, adding they can’t make any assumptions until the invasion starts and they see what they’re dealing with.

Post
#758909
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Thank you for the correction Dloomys, I went back and fixed it. 

JHodges, the sequence of events is largely figured out, and the epilogue is more or less done in my head. Its the large battle/invasion scene which concludes act III that still needs the nuts and bolts worked out. 

CHRomer, I was originally going to have 81 as the turncoat way back when for a couple of reasons: to demonstrate the desperate nature of the war, hint at  Anakin's eventual well intentioned turn in Episode III, and shock viewers who had grown to trust the character. 

However as Episode II began to further formulate, I was beginning to feel that the Republic more or less resorting to a hail mary pass in the war plans, and some senators willing to negotiate with the Coalition sold how bad the war had gotten pretty well already. The development of Nellith's character, with her as well as Fordala (a bitter, disfigured man angry at the leaders/government he felt abandoned him) already acting as foreshadowing archetypes to Skywalker made me reluctant to create yet another one with HX.

Finally the clone reveal more or less works as the shocking twist (admittedly not as outright surprising as the droid in question betraying them) and Organa's story as currently planned in Episode III is made much easier if she can work and talk with someone like 81. Part of me does wish I could have implemented the betrayal, but I think it would create more problems than it would solve at this point in the story development.  

Post
#758785
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Very minor edits to some previous entries, largely just giving a previously unnamed Jedi pilot a name, which will be a bit important as you'll see. But with that out of the way, act II of A Galaxy's Fury finally concludes. Enjoy and thanks as always for the feedback. 

On top of a ruined Coruscant building at dawn emerges the platoon and a token few of the resistance. Anakin helps pull Carima up the last of the way and the group as a whole lies low. With a pair of makeshift binoculars Skywalker examines a series of nearby buildings. He identifies a large sleek structure with various smaller towers and platforms as the base of the Coruscant defense network. Nivir points to the larger and bulkier connected building. “There's our power center.”

Nik moves his sight to a slightly smaller construction also connected to the power center, his face contorted in a confused frown. He asks Fordala what's inside that building, and the latter tells him its one of the few large scale areas in the capital city they haven't been able to get any reconnaissance on. “Lim spice and the occasional transport go in, beyond no clue what's inside or what it needs that much direct power for.”

The young Jedi stares and considers his options for a moment. He tells the others that while the power center's too secure to get inside, all they'd really have to do is cut the power off from the defense building close to the time of the invasion but before the Mandalorians could fix it. Fordala scoffs and points out that the network has to have power redundancies or at least some kind of backup. Anakin agrees and says they'd have to get inside the defense building to knock the back-ups out as well, and if its designed anything like the old Republic network, they're likely still near the top of the building.

The one eyed older man inquires exactly how Skywalker would do this and the latter brings up the makeshift jetpacks the resistance have put together, asking if they've been used in public before. Fordala pauses, clearly annoyed at where this is going, but tells him never been utilized since the Coalition took the planet. Nik nods and adds that means the enemy doesn't know we have them. The resistance leader gives him a look at the use of “we” but says nothing.

Carima asks what Anakin's proposing. He lays out the plan, detailing one team using the jetpacks to get access to the roof of the defense building and another hitting the maintenance section directly between the network structure and the power plant at the same time. The first team makes their way down, destroying the back-ups while the second team destroys all connections to the power grid they find, leaving the most vital parts of the defenses with either no power or no way of communicating with the central hub. Observes Carima: “Unarmed or blind, not exactly the ideal way to fight.”

Fordala angrily says the resistance is in no hurry to give up their resources for some suicidal mission. Skywalker turns to him, trying to contain his own ire, stating that if the Republic succeeds here, the resistance won't need them, and if the Coaltion wins, a couple of missing jetpacks will be the least of their problems. The resistance leader grabs Nik's arm eyes hard. “You see a lightsaber on me boy? I'm no Jedi jockey here to jump when you say so.”

Anakin forcefully removes the man's hand from his arm while the resistance and the platoon look at each other, seemingly ready to engage each other. However Carima notices something in the distance and calls their attention to it: a small, but sleek surveillance vessel coming their way. Fordala is taken aback, noting that patrols don't fly this way this time of day, and Skywalker adds something's changed their plans.

An anxious Nivir quickly explains if it gets close enough there's nowhere to hide and no way they can get off of the building quick enough before it spots them. The resistance leader adds that if anyone is seen here, they'll scour the area and find the sewer entrance soon enough. Nik swallows hard, knowing before the others what has to be one. “Then it needs to see something else then.”

He looks at Fordala and tells him to get everybody back to the sewer and relays to one of his officers to get the teams ready for the mission. Before either can respond he continues his orders telling clearly to get inside the building and cut the power, however they have to do it. Carima starts to looked worried and asks what he's doing. He gently lays a gloved hand on her cheek and tells her to give his regards to Beru and Owen. “And tell Ben I'm sorry. I love you.”

With that Anakin runs towards the edge and jumps off. Nivir screams “No!” and those still left on the roof see him fall several meters and just barely grab to a lone pole sticking out diagonally from a nearby construction site. He slides down quickly making a long trek down before ending with a rough landing on the around. He looks up at the group and yells go before pulling out his lightsaber and cutting through a large support beam on the construction site, causing it to collapse with a loud boom.

The scout ship immediately notices and starts heading towards Skywalker. Fordala realizes what the Jedi's doing and leads the others down to climb the other side of the building. Carima refuses, saying they're gonna kill Nik down there. The middle aged man offers her a sympathetic face, telling her that he's not sacrificing himself just for her to be seen and destroyed by the Mandalorians and that they have to go. She looks towards some support from Anakin's officers, but their faces tell the whole story, and after one last look to his direction, she starts climbing down.

The scout ship moves in on Skywalker, sending out a few token shots which he manages to avoid. Once its in close, it tries again, but Nik manages to deflect them this time, sending them back to the vessel, quickly causing damage. The smoking vehicle just barely misses hitting the Jedi, soon crashing into the construction site not to far from Anakin. He breathes a brief sigh of relief before yet another ship appears, this time a fighter.

Quickly surveying the area, he runs and jumps onto the base of a long and unmanned construction crane, once again barely dodging laser blasts as the fighter swoops around and takes its shots. Carefully biding his time, at just the right moment he cuts the crane with his lightsaber. It collapses down just as the fighter's passing and crushes it, tearing the aircraft apart once both hit the ground in an even louder sound than the support beam.

The platoon and the resistance manage to reach the bottom of the ruined building and run towards the sewer entrance. While racing across the rubble through various cracks in the structure Nivir sees Anakin in the distance, standing alone, looking around for what's coming next. What's next is a series of transport craft and given both size and number, even Skywalker knows what the odds are. With a grimace, he lowers his lightsaber, but stares defiantly foward as the lead ship lands.

As various clone officers and Mandalorian soldiers with blasters start pouring out the ships, a prominent figure emerges from the principal vessel. Walking up to Nik with both swagger and touch of genuine curiosity is none other than Draezin Crayde himself. Stopping just a few feet away he crosses his arms and looks the Jedi up and down before offering a most undeserved smirk. “Anakin Skywalker. Only you would be this bold.”

With the rest of the group already in the sewers Carima can only watch helplessly as the Jedi's lightsaber is taken away, he's placed in restraints, and soldiers surround him. Tears almost fall from her eyes before she angrily shakes it off and with determination joins the others underground.

With the lightsaber no longer a factor, Crayde gets in close, ignoring the disdain coming from the young man's eyes and casually asks what he's doing here. In the coldest tone he can muster, Anakin says they'll get no information out of him. Draezin's eyes turn darker, and in a low voice responds. “By this time this day's done, we'll get a great deal more than that.”

In the nebula the various Jedi ships are dodging and weaving the Mandalorian cruisers in a chaotic chase. The bridge of the lead cruiser is just as crazy with various crew on board talking over each other as they report on the various statuses of the ships. Darelda remains calm however, giving orders quickly and staying alert of the developments. Obi-Wan remains standing next to 81 and Organa taking in the events himself.

HX leans into Darelda and asks why the saboteur hasn't shown up yet. Kenobi overhears them and replies they just need a bit more time. The senator rubs her hand over her face. “I'm not sure we have it.” Nellith orders their pilot a quick turnaround and tells them to engage Phakerem's ship, and tells them to get her attention. The pilot complies and in the nebula it makes a hard 180 turn, firing at the side of the Mandalorian's craft.

On the general's ship the the crew on the bridge shake from the attack, but hold their ground as Phakerem asks how badly they were hit. She's told their engines were barely affected and still functioning. She's slightly bemused and points out it makes no sense for the Jedi to engage an attack, given their own superior shields and asks why they're still get a signal from them. One of her officers suggests they're getting desperate, but she's unconvinced and orders the fleet to regroup on her mark if they try something like that again.

Back on the cruiser Dorgon, the Jedi pilot who led Ben and company into the nebula initially, arrives on the bridge, seemingly to take over a station to the right of Korusya. Just as he's passing her, out of nowhere he quickly activates his lightsaber and almost cuts her at the neck, only to be blocked by Kenobi's own sword, who knocks the man down.A shocked Nellith immediately turns and gets to her feet, kicking away the downed man's lightsaber before he can even react.

The pilot is speedily on his feet again, and tries pulling his lightsaber with the Force, but Obi-Wan catches the hilt himself and aims now two sabers towards his direction. Even still Dorgon runs towards Nellith for another attack, only for be hit by a stun ray by Darelda which sends him down. His body nearly paralyzed with pain, he tries once more to get to his feet, but the senator fires again and this time he stays down.

Kenobi and company look down on stunned man, his face is a daze. 81 dryly remarks this isn't like any game of sabbac he's seen and Organa guesses this is their saboteur. Korusya briefly turns away to order another attack on Phakerem's ship before turning back to look at the suspect Nellith shakes her head saying it doesn't make any sense. Ben sees something that gets his attention and he kneels down to look in Dorgon's eyes, examining them as carefully as he can.

In quick cut Anakin is led through secured halls by a large contingent of guards, briefly looking to his right where behind a reinforced window there's a large form in a bacta tank. Skywalker only gets a brief glance at it, but clearly inside the transparent tube is the floating body of Dorgon.

On the bridge, Kenobi hurriedly stands, his expression horrified and says they have to get a message to the Republic as soon as possible. Nellith is about to ask what he's getting at when he's told by one of the crew that the Mandalorian ships are breaking off. She's once again stunned. “What?”

Finally sitting in her bridge chair again, Phakerem orders the fleet to regroup just outside the nebula, saying none of this situation makes strategic sense and the Jedi are playing at something. Her second in command asks about time being on their side and she replies that she no longer trusts time, but thankfully she doesn't have to say the same about their ultimate weapon.

The scene on the cruiser is one of confusion with various crew looking to Nellith for orders. Ben tells her they have to get of out here, both to keep the Coalition chasing them before the invasion and to send out an emergency message to Republic leaders. 81 asks what the message is and Ben gives his answer to all of them: “A high alert warning... the Mandalorians have cloned Jedi.”

Post
#757096
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

**Can’t actually believe I’m being this productive. Would typically wait to have written more, but I genuinely like the character stuff in this one and am curious to see how it comes across. Will provide the action climax to act II in the next update. Also made a slight addition to the previous section; just a shout out of sorts to particular droid duo that pays off later. Thanks again you guys for your interest and especially your feedback. Without further ado, more of Episode II: **

Wipe to the shelter hours later as Anakin and Carima are laying down on a pair of makeshift beds right next to each other. The light inside is dim as various others are also getting rest, though a few people softly working can be seen in far parts of the room. The stress is taking its toll on Anakin’s face as he seems more worn out than ever. Nivir looks at him, slight worry in her eyes, and tells him that even Jedi have to sleep eventually.

With faux-reflection he replies “Maybe not, there might be some secret aspect of the Force I haven’t learned about that can let me avoid sleep who knows how long.” She replies in mock horror “A power that gives you the ability to stay awake and keep talking for days on end? Gotta be that dark side you told me about.” The two smile at each other and he grips her hand warmly. She gets serious and asks why he can’t sleep.

Nik rubs his hand over his face and tells her he knew things here would be bad and having seen Mandalorian occupation, he had an idea of how terrible life could get for people in this kind of situation.  However he just keeps thinking about the how exactly the decision process went when they decided to simply desert these people and what kind of calculations the high ranking leaders did to determine just how long the resistance fighting and dying on their own was acceptable.

She shrugs and says this kind of conflict makes people make tough decisions and they both know none of the top brass want to leave people behind. She adds that the latter wants to win the war as badly as he does. His eyes look away from her and he states that they want to win it their style; safe, remote, and with the risk on everybody but them. He briefly closes his eyes and laments that all he can offer the soldiers here is what kind of dangerous mission they’d prefer to have their lives threatened by.

Almost to himself more than her, Anakin says there’s gotta be a better way than this; some system that would at least never leave people in this kind of danger. Nivir asks if really wants to try and remake the government in the middle of a war. Skywalker’s face turns melancholy as he gives his answer. “I want to go home, hug Beru, have Owen slap me on the back, and say he’d be glad to have me visit anytime. Fixing the Republic just struck me as a little more realistic right now.”

Carima strokes his face gently and tells him not to do this to himself, reminding him that people need him in the here and now. She mentions there’s a platoon that’s gonna look to him to lead them tomorrow, look to the man who walked them into heart of enemy territory and kept them in one piece. She says they trust him completely with their lives, and she knows this because she trusts him with hers, and a few broken ships aside, he’s always come through.

Touched by that Nik gives her a warm kiss on the mouth. “You know, you were on to something  about a vacation. We get out of here, we’re going somewhere nice. Find the finest vacation suite this side of Alderaan, kick the newlyweds out, and just enjoy ourselves.” Carima raises an eyebrow and says flatly “If this is your idea of a proposal Skywalker, your timing and technique could use a little work.”

Its Anakin’s turn to stroke her cheek as he tells her that while he’s sorry he dragged her into another mess he is glad she’s here with him. Carima blushes slightly before saying that have to get some rest. She kisses him on the forehead before they both close their eyes and try to sleep.

<span style=“white-space: pre;”></span>At a long table with various screens sits Nellith, studying the displays carefully. Obi-Wan walks in and says he’s made no significant gains yet, in spite of talking to half the crew and trying to sense anything from them with Force. She responds that she’s gotten reports from the Senator and her droid, but neither have reported anything significant yet either. Kenobi asks to look at that their information to see if there’s something that stands out and she silently invites him to do so.

After sitting down, Obi-Wan looks briefly at her while the latter reads some of the reports. Without looking at him she says he still thinks she’s wrong about what to do with the Jedi. Kenobi’s expression doesn’t change, but he states he believes that her decision is misguided even if her concerns are understandable. Surprisingly enough, a bitter smile comes across her face and she finally meets his gaze. “You can’t even begin to understand my concerns. Not many Jedi can.”

Ben sits back in his chair, subtly noticing that she’s at last opening up. “So this isn’t just about sending unprepared farmers and engineers into battle is it?” She replies that its about threats, one’s even more dangerous than what they’re dealing with here. Obi-Wan states that he’s at a loss to think of things worse than a power like the Coalition. She shakes her head in mild disappointment opining how easily young Jedi forget their history especially its more unfortunate periods.  Kenobi asks what she means.

She stares at him more intently than ever. “Battles are phenomena are best studied and remembered my young friend. Especially ones with the fallen.” Ben blinks a few times, just beginning to grasp what she’s getting at. “Your victory over the Dark Jedi.” She tells him that triumph was one piece of an event who’s images have never gone away no matter how much she wanted them to. Noticing that the younger Knight isn’t letting himself ask the question, she nonetheless gives him the answer. “I turned, Sir Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan can’t even speak, but she continues. Her expression recalling painful memories she says it was for a time during the conflict, and that desperate to hold back their foes, she fell into the dark side. “I did things that no being should do, disgraced the Republic, and forsook everything I was so that the people I was certain were evil would be destroyed. And they were.”

Nellith gets briefly lost in her thoughts, lifting up and looking down on the lightsaber hanging from her neck. Ben eventually regains his composure, and a voice just above a whisper, says that she came back. While strained Korusya offers an actual warm smile and describes that her comrades somehow pulled her back, even when at the time her own mind was poisoning her against them. “They said it was the will of the Force, but sometimes I wonder if it was just luck.”

Sounding drained, she explains that while wars can bring out the best in Jedi, wars like those and ones like these drive the best of them to twisted places. “One bad rain falls and it can bring down everything.” If she goes along with Kenobi’s plan, some of their kind will become one with the Force, which she can in her heart accept. But some will go to someplace worse, and it won’t just be Jedi who feel the pain of that fall. “What will a Republic victory mean if its protectors have become worse than the enemy they just helped slew?”

Kenobi stands up, his hands almost shaking as he takes in this revelation. He defiantly brings up that he has seen their kind endure what the Clone Wars have dealt and come out stronger. Specifically he mentions that Anakin has been wounded deeply by the scope of this war and yet there’s no other man he’d  swear the commitment of more than him. Nellith remains sitting and flatly says “Not all Jedi are as impregnable as your apprentice.”

Ben implores her to have hope about their collective ability, going on about that the connection to one another, to the living Force, is one only strengthened when they work side by side with the good of the Republic in all their minds. “I believe in us, the people out there do, and I think you do as well. The Force is our guide, let us follow it where it leads us.”

<span style=“white-space: pre;”></span>Korusya’s has a mixed expression, clearly considering the man’s words. Before she can respond, 81 and Organa walk in, both a bit hurried. The droid tells them that they haven’t had any luck, and that they suspect their target might have changed their strategy in subverting the ship, but they do have a plan. Darelda lays out that some games of sabbac have taught her that when you can’t guess a bluff, you make them show their cards, suggesting they engage the Mandalorians, and give the traitor what they think is the ultimate opportunity to undermine them in battle, and catch them in the act.

While HX explains its a risky move, he declares its better for them to go into battle prepared than be caught surprised when the saboteur inevitably strikes again. Obi-Wan glances at the older Jedi, awaiting her answer. Nellith frowns, but asks if the deflector shield has been shored up with 81 replying it has. She’s silent for a moment again, before she walks onto the bridge with the others following her. Korusya tells the one at the communication station to send out a small signal to the lead Mandalorian ship.

The Jedi in question briefly hesitates at the order before obeying and preparing to send it out. Darelda sighs and says she hopes luck’s on there side. Nellith and Ben share a look before the former speaks. “Just the Force this time Senator. But as allies go, I’d have no other.”

Post
#756602
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

[Couple of updates. My last entry has been edited to reflect a change in Nellith's character and the tone of her scene with Kenobi.

To answer your question JHodges, I'll definitely reference Tarkin in Episode III as one of the rising stars of sorts in the Republic military. Whether or not he'll appear will depend on if it services the story without feeling too contrived. 

For now however, enjoy the next portion of A Galaxy's Fury.]

In a dimly lit Coruscant sewer, the company one by one drops into a large and very wet drain. Skywalker states that best he could tell given the type of surveillance, no one saw them. “Forget the despotism its their lack of sanitation care which is really damning about these people.” Carima adds with Anakin telling her to keep her voice down. He orders them to get some distance from the entrance ASAP, emphasizing quick, but careful. 

As they stealthily move through the sewers, Nivir in a whisper asks Nik what they'll do if the Mandalorians have already gotten to those underground. Anakin tries to downplay that possibility, saying any group that's survived this long has to be resourceful. She sighs and tells him that if they make it out of this, the two of them are taking a well earned vacation. As it'd be nice to have galactic trip not hampered by the prospect of certain death for once.

Anakin gives her a look and says he's assuming that her finding a safe place to hide while him and the company execute the mission is out of the question. Carima replies that she'd never leave him at such a crucial point. She gives him a restrained smile, “Besides, if you're gone, who else is gonna tell your bosses to reimburse me for a lost ship?” He gives her an affectionate nod and says they'll just have to find the resistance hide out before anything else provided they don't attract any attention-

He's interuppted when a nearby hatch on their side opens to reveal a surprised clone squadron. Skywalker yells “Positions!” and the company immediately makes a formation and fires on the enemy. Most are taken out instantly, but one manages a shot off hits a Republic soldier, wounding him. Carima hits that shooter with her own blaster, leaving the clone dead, with none left standing. Surveying the situation, Nik asks if anyone else was hit and upon hearing a negative, assists the injured soldier. 

Another soldier asks what the enemy was doing down here, but before anyone can respond, an alarmed voice is heard coming from one of the bodies. Carima picks up the comlink device currently and loudly telling the now dead commander to respond and report what they've found. Still helping the wounded man, Skywalker tells everyone this must have been a scout group, though he can't tell if its a regular search party or not. The voice still yelling through the transmitter, Anakin smashes the device.  

An officer asks if the Mandalorians have new information, and Nik replies that even if they don't, those on the other side of the comm link will be down here soon enough and they have to get out of here quickly. With various members of the company helping the wounded man move Skywalker orders the group to follow him. The same officer asks how they're supposed to find the resistance in this place. Eyes forward he gives them an answer. “Leave that to me.” 

As quickly as they can with the injured soldier, the group moves through the sewers; the young Jedi leading the way, with him looking back towards Carima to confirm with her that they're heading towards the redundant generator according to the old maps. She confusedly tells him yes and ask why go there? Anakin replies that he's got a hunch. “Sensing something in the force?” She asks. For the first time on Coruscant, Skywalker's confidence is slightly betrayed and he responds. “I hope so.”

While moving, they begin to hear the echos of enemy troops in the far distance behind them. The injured soldier tells Nik that he's impeding the whole company with his wound, that for the sake of the others, they have leave him behind and he might be able to slow any following Mandalorians down. Before he can finish Anakin cuts him off. “Lieutenant I order you to shut up and keep moving; we're all gonna get there.” 

Soon enough the company find themselves on the edge of a sudden drop off, with the waterflow falling down into large water filled basin going directly to an old but active hydro-electric generator at its end. Skywalker eyes in the machine carefully and intensely, seemingly looking past it somehow before eventually nodding his head in understanding. He turns back and tells them to get ready to jump in. One of the officers looks at him with wide eyes, pointing out that the turbines will cut them to pieces. 

Already readying himself to jump, Nik replies that he knows its safe they'll have to trust him. When the officer replies how he knows this its Carima who responds. “Sir, take it from me, don't underestimate the Force.” Still a bit disbelieving, but hearing the sound of approaching enemy soldiers coming, the officer obeys Anakin's and after assisting the injured man, the entire group jumps into the basin. As the water immediately carrying them towards the generator Skywalker determinedly tells them to hold their breath as the group is sucked in. 

On the bridge of her ship Phakerem stares intently at the sensor readings, eyes focused and waiting. She asks if there's been any change in readings and is told there's been nothing since they stopped the signal. One of her captains, after some reticence, slowly gets up from his station and approaches her. In a quiet voice he asks permission to speak freely, which she grants, curious at what has to say. He mentions to her that with the visual damage earlier seen on the engines of Jedi vessels its unlikely they could either get back to their station or escape the nebula without being noticed. 

In the most respectful tone he can manage he explains that with the enemy trapped and no way to get out, and he recommends pulling the bulk of their forces to other parts of the front line or bulk up their defenses elsewhere. “Your efforts have succeeded; the Jedi threat has been neutralized.”

After a few tense moments with the general looking displeased at his comments, she rises from her chair and surprisingly enough, gives a knowing smile and begins to speak. Filled with confidence she details how the greatest threat of the Jedi isn't out there, pointing to the viewscreen, its in the territories the Coalition has yet to control. “In the pilot agreeing to every mission despite the risk, in the politician still refusing to negotiate with us, in every Republic citizen not doing everything they can to defect.”

The explanation turning into a speech of sorts, she justifies their continued presence here as the key to not just winning the war but ensuring those conquered will have no spirit for insurrection after the Republic is defeated. “Defeat a man and the peace is temporary; destroy a legend and the peace is eternal.” She finishes saying that they cannot afford to let up when next phase is almost there, with the ultimate weapon against the Jedi nearly ready to be deployed, and that they need only keep them silent and scared; time will do the rest. 

On the lead Jedi cruiser 81 and Darelda briskly walk through the halls of the ship. She asks how badly damaged the engines were and he replies that had they likely been hit again, they'd likely be adrift in space at this moment. For now they're safe provided the Mandalorians don't spot them again. She sighs “I don't know who's got it worse, me not knowing the exact odds of that or you knowing down the number.” The security droid replies that dubious distinction quite certainly belongs to him. 

They arrive in Nellith's quarters where they find her and Kenobi waiting. The former is considerably troubled and isn't looking at them. Ben tells them both that they've figured out that the signal was not remotely induced, someone inside the ship set it off. HX says he's at a loss as to how such a person could even get onto a ship of Jedi, let alone pull this off without being spotted. Ben replies that's what they're trying to figure out. 

Darelda ask if its possible there's a Dark Jedi who could have done this and Nellith and Obi-Wan immediately answer no, before the former clarifies that “I haven't felt... that kind of willful use of the dark side in a very long time.” Kenobi does however mention that there's something earlier that felt wrong, something not natural to this place. These words  get a reaction out of Korusya who says she perceived something like that herself but couldn't quite grasp what exactly it was. 

Obi-Wan openly wonders if there are any droids on the ship who could have been reprogrammed. HX-81 answers that besides himself there are only two other droids on the ship, a protocol model and an R2 unit, both working in maintenance. He does the robotic equivalent of a grimace as he recalls, “And having spent just a few minutes with them, I don't believe the Mandalorians would trust them in waste extraction let alone sabotage.”

81 inquires about their strategy given they don't know what they're dealing with with Organa saying that if there's a traitor on board was willing to blow themselves up via revealing their location to the Coalition, then something tells her they'll have no qualms about trying again. Darelda agrees and says that they have to find the saboteur quickly before they strike once more and without tipping the individual off.  Ben states ideally they can capture them for information and not have to destroy them.

Nellith's burdened eyes tell the story as she ever so briefly feels the lightsaber hanging at her neck. For the first time since arriving on the cruiser, Obi-Wan looks just a bit afraid. 

On Couruscant, sitting in a luxurious chair in his home, Crayde is indulging himself with a drink from a fine glass when he's signaled by his communicator. Annoyed, he tells the receiver that he already got their most recent scouting report and he doesn't need redundant information. The voice tells him that their scouts were attacked in the sewers, and he rolls his eyes, saying they can fill him on details of a resistance attack later. Upon being told there's signs a lightsaber was involved he's briefly struck dumb before putting his drink down and eyes suddenly serious, says he's on his way. 

Back in the sewers the heads of Anakin, Carima and the troops emerge from a filthy and quick current. The group makes their way to a small hanging platform and climb out, immediately trying to wring the wetness out of their clothes. One of the officers asks if the Mandalorians are coming and after a moment's silence to listen Skywalker says they've lost them for now. 

Another officer looks at Nik and asks if the Force told him the generator was safe. He almost smirks and tells him “Just to trust my instincts, thankfully that's been enough.” Before he can continue, out of the current a few feet ahead a large contingent of bedraggled soldiers surface, makeshift blasters pointed at Anakin and company. Surprised and outgunned and Skywalker can only look at Nivir resignedly and in deadpan continues “So far.” 

Cut to the dirty soldiers escorting their weaponless prisoners, with Carima and Nik at the front, through various tunnels. She starts to speak before he softly shakes his head no, not wanting to provoke their new keepers. Eventually they are led into a large underground shelter filled to the brim with various jury rigged portable generators, small explosives, containers of various sizes/shapes, rolled up beds, and small bits of furniture acting as tables. 

Walking towards them is a scarred, middle aged man with thinning hair and a cybernetic eyepiece, a large blaster rifle on his shoulder . He eyes his prisoners warily, giving particular attention to the stonefaced expression on Anakin's face. After a moment they hear his hoarse voice come out. “Well you're not the ugliest clones we've seen down here.” Skywalker and Nivir share a look before she responds. “We do try and make the effort.”

When asked what they're doing down there Anakin doesn't answer and inquires if he's Trukiz. This question gets a hand around the Jedi's throat as the scarred man gets particularly angry and demands how he knows that name. Not showing any fear Nik asks again if he's Trukiz, but Carima gets alarmed and says they're from the Republic and were sent to find them. This gets her a brief angry look from Skywalker, but this reveal does get the scarred man's attention. 

He asks Anakin who he is, but when he again refuses to respond, Nivir says he's a Jedi and that he's here to help them. One of the grimy soldiers pipes in and says they did confiscate what looks like a lightsaber from him. While still skeptical, he does release Skywaker's throat, and takes a step back. Briefly taking in this information, he tells them that Trukis died weeks ago and that he's Fordala, his second in command. 

At Carima's silent urging the Jedi reveals he's Command Anakin Skywalker and that he and his platoon were told to get into contact with the resistance here. Fordala still isn't entirely believing, but does signal his soldiers to put their blasters down. Anakin mentions they're here to relay orders from Fleet Admiral Organa and President Palpatine. 

There's a dead silence by the resistance soldiers in the room with Fordala specifically in disbelief about what he just heard.“Relay orders?” Nik nods and describes the timeframe of the upcoming offense against the Mandalorians on Coruscant and how the plan is dependent on the resistance sabotaging the enemy's defenses. Fordula's anger returns and he can't even stand to look at Anakin. 

“They abandon the planet, leave us down here for who knows how long, tell us to to provide intel while the Coalition are shooting every stranger they find, and now you're telling me they want us to undermine the most heavily guarded places on the surface before they can even bother rescuing us? Well you know at least they sent one Jedi, otherwise I would have thought the high commanders were completely indifferent fools.” 

Anakin does his best to excuse the situation, reiterating that forces are going to free them, but their best chances to do that are if they're not cut down by Coalition planetary weapons; simply put the Republic needs them now more than ever. Fordula gets back in close, hand gripping his rifle while he asks just how many times the Republic is going put a price on their liberation? Try as he might, Skywalker has no immediate answer. 

At this Carima intercedes, saying that have a wounded man who needs a doctor or some kind of medical help. While still noticeably angry, Fordala reluctantly orders one of his soldiers to assist the injured officer, who helps carry the man over to their medical supplies. Anakin tells him that even if they're not willing to help sabotage the defenses, he and his officers can't leave until they have a plan to scout where the Coruscant defense network is centralized.  

Slowly easing back into role of professional soldier, Fordala says it be suicide to try and go back out where they came in and given the time table for the Republic assault, he can't afford to try any of the longer complicated routes. He says their best chance would be a tunnel leading a destroyed building, one of the few caved in structures within the capital city the Coalition haven't cleared away yet. Nivir asks if the area's heavily patrolled and is told yes, but will be less protected in a few hours. 

Obviously hating having to utter this, Skywalker inquires if they can get some rest here. Fordala doesn't immediately answer, but then asks in response if any of his people are mechanics. Carima enthusiastically answers yes, eyes wide and excited. The resistance leader stares at her confused, while Anakin can only lightly smile to himself. Fordula shrugs and tells the two if she can fix up some of their generators, then they can probably spare a few beds and supplies. 

Nik gives Nivir the okay, and concealing her clear merriment she goes off to look at the units. One of the Jedi's officers walks up to him and says the resistance's help is their only chance of knocking out the defense network. Skywalker grimly shakes his head. “No, if we have to, we'll find another.” 

Post
#755234
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Been taking too long on this, and while I wanted to waited till all of act II was finished, I figured some actual new stuff was due. 

In the nebula the Mandalorians chase Kenobi and company, with Organa asking if intends to keep up this up, only for the Jedi to reply he won't have to, as another ship comes to their aid, doing some damage to Coalition ships and allowing Ben's ship to get out of their sight. The pilot, in an oddly flat tone, identifies himself as Dorgon. Obi-Wan makes a slightly confused face hearing the man speak, but follows him in. 

Phakerem remains silent on her own ship, staring ahead, breathing heavily. She orders orders their ships into the nebula to find the Jedi, even if they have to check every sector inside. 

Carima's ship enters Coruscant space and makes it through the various security checks, but right when landing (during night), the overzealous planetary security causes a soldier to activate the power pack his weapon (in spite of Anakin's orders to keep deactivated until off the ship). With that detected by security scanners, the ship is about to boarded until Nivir and Skywalker improvise a plan, with her setting the ship to hyperdrive into the atmosphere while jettisoning the spice cargo onto the planet. 

The ship is destroyed by planetary defenses before it can hit light speed and the cargo is quickly inspected by surface security to reveal only lim spice and debris with no survivors. Camera pulls out to reveal Anakin and the others hiding, having jumped out of the cargo holder before it hit the ground. Skywalker quietly, but intensely berates the soldier for his mistake and states the officer can demonstrate he's not expendable by showing his worth on the rest of the mission. Skywalker slowly and stealthily moves the group away, saying finding the resistance must be done even faster now. 

Kenobi follows their fellow ship to the large Jedi fleet, where ships of various types and sizes await. They dock with the largest vessel and are immediately greeted by Dorgon. He greets them nicely enough but Obi-Wan gives him a strange look, something bothering him about the young man. Ben mentions they're here as liaisons for Palpatine and Organa, and asks to see Nellith. The pilot replies that the Jedi Elder is meditating at present but offers to show them to their quarters. 

In those quarters, Darelda finally inquires about Nellith. With some wistfulness in his eyes, he explains that she is one of the oldest living Jedi still active, and centuries ago was one its greatest Knights, Ben adds that reading about her instrumental role in defeating a group of fallen Jedi centuries ago was one of his favorite memories in his training as an apprentice. “There's history about great Jedi going back 10,000 years, and she even then she still stood out.”

While the Jedi is lost in his admiration, HX-81 points out Ben's descriptions are all in the past tense. Kenobi describes that after her victory over the fallen, she gave up her role as a Knight, withdrawing to semi-reclusion and becoming a Jedi master and philosopher. Organa is a bit confused, pointing out that's hardly an ill fate, and agrees, though he notes in an uncomfortable tone that some feel that the past few centuries the Republic could have used someone as good as she was. “We  may have lost one hell of a protector, but I have no doubt the galaxy gained a great elder.” 

81 inquires about how Korusya's going to respond to the Republic's plan, and he confesses he's not even sure the full extent of what  role Nellith has served in the galactic conflict thus far. “There's a warrior and a great thinker; I don't just know which one's on this ship right now.”

On Coruscant, various squads of clone troops march in the city, as Anakin and company observe from the empty basement window of a newly constructed building. Carima points out their current luck. “Something to be said about the Coalition, they're quick to rebuild, but not too quick.” One of the soldiers informs the platoon that no alarm or search party has been summoned, so the authorities must still believe they're dead. 

Skywalker is quick to respond that's irrelevant given that there's almost certainly a security recognition measure on the planet, one that they lack. “Anyone without the proper ID, internal or otherwise on this planet is as good as captured, and dead once an interrogation’s finished.” The same soldier as before brings up their limited intel and inquires how they're supposed to even find the resistance, let alone inform them of the sabotage plan. 

At that Carima provides an answer. On a nearby crate, she puts out a holographic map of their location. She lays out that between their scanners and search parties, the Coalition's scoured the surface of the planet, and that even if the resistance avoided being initially found it couldn't afford to stay above ground given the scale of the surveillance. Anakin makes the obvious point; “So they're underground then, but where?”

Another soldier brings up the sewers surely have been checked by now. Nivir nods, but replies only the newer tunnels have. “There's tons of unused and redundant ones underground; some of them were caved in the last time the planet got attacked a few millennia ago, but there just too many for them to look for, even with the time they've had.” Skywalker's authoritarian face gives just the hint of an amused grin. “Let it never be said your Coruscant vacation obsession isn't without its informational benefits.” Carima smiles to herself at that. 

A member of the platoon asks if the Coalition can't find them down there, how exactly will they? Anakin switches off the hologram and and gives a reply.”Some faith Lt. Commander, we'll find a way when we get there” Skywalker quickly surveys the scene outside the window and a prominent building in the distance get his attention, and Carima notices his anxious frown as he stares at it. She asks if everything's alright. “Yeah, just sensed something off. Let's go the sewer awaits.”

On Coruscant Crayde sits in his office as a member of the underground resistance is dragged in and restrained in a chair, where the Chancellor promises him his life if gives up the Republic soldiers most recent location. When the prisoner resists Draezin electrocutes him, until he finally gives in. When the location is given up, Crayde orders his execution anyway, displeased that the prisoner made him work for getting the information. A Mandalorian force is dispatched to go after the resistance.

Back in the nebula, on her vessel Phakerem stares out a window in her office. A subordinate of hers inquires about her orders. She coldly tells him to increase ship speed and keep every available officer nearby the moment they spot the Jedi. He asks what if they've left the nebula, and she turns around and explains that they're still here, and they won't waste their best chance to bring the Jedi down for anything. 

Sitting in meditation is Kenobi, who looks up to speak to the just arrived Darelda. Obi-Wan asks how her meeting with Nellith went and Organa replies that while she didn't raise any objections, it was hard to get a read on what she really thought of the battle plan. Ben explains that its a common thing with older Jedi. “It seems the more they understand the galaxy, the less willing they are to give away that wisdom too freely.” 

She notices something's bothering him. With a frown he details that there's something on this ship that feels wrong and that he can't quite sense what it is, but its unnatural, like a star in the sky that doesn't belong. He admits its not the dark side, or anything overtly dangerous, but that he can't shake off the feeling it doesn't belong here. 

Organa tells him she's learned to trust his instincts and there's no one she would expect to stop a crisis in advance more than a ship full of Jedi. “I wish I could say the same for things back home.” He inquires about that and she tells him of her growing frustrations in the Senate, as she hoped the war would unite everyone, but everything's just gotten pettier and more partisan and she's noticed the growing disenchantment with citizens she's talked to. 

“People didn't trust the institution, but at least they trusted their Senator. I'm not even sure they can do that anymore.” An aid comes into the room and tells Kenobi that Nellith will seem him now. He gives Organa a look and is lead to her chambers. 

In a room adorned with various pieces of art from different worlds facing away from him is Korusya Nellith. A tall Chiss Jedi, dressed in in an aquamarine robe with various simple patterns, her head is slightly bowed forward. “I hope I haven't made you wait too long, Sir Kenobi.” With a polite smile, Obi-Wan replies that a Jedi learns patience. A small murmur comes from Nellith and she replies with a tired voice that learning it is easy. She turns around. “Keeping to it, that's the hard part.” 

There's a wide shot of the two facing each other, with the contrast in both height and body language is very apparent. Kenobi is half formal, half casual, doing what he can to look respectful but relaxed in a room with a living legend. She's stiffer, looking formal from the neck down, but her face looks distant, with her eyes suggesting a much heavier burden than her posture would suggests. A small lightsaber hilt hangs from her necklace. 

Ben, initially uncertain what to do with his hands, puts them behind his back formally and states its a great honor to meet such great Knight such as herself. Nellith can can only raise an eyebrow, her expression otherwise neutral. He's slightly surprised by her lack of response and tries again mentioning how the stories of her warrior days are legendary to all sorts of Jedi. She looks away briefly “I suppose that's the difference between story and reality, then.” He breaks the silence with a comment mentioning the various Jedi here have kept up well given the circumstances. 

She shrugs, stating they've taken young sprouts, thrown them into the fire, asked them to survive, and still they figure out ways to do it. “So far, anyway.” Ben asks about the battle plans she was shown earlier. She says its risky strategically, dangerous to its participants, and easily capable of failing. After a pause she does confess (with clear reluctance) that given the war's going its also the best option the Republic has. Kenobi allows himself a wide smile with nod at that and points out the Jedi here need to be organized  for ship combat if Coalition ships catch up with them. 

Korusya bluntly mentions they've already had some previous close calls with the Mandalorians, yet the latter still hasn't been able to compensate for being outmatched in speed or the fact that they're flying blind. She adds that when the enemy gets sick of the chase they can strike, but until then they can keep them tied down with just evasion alone. Obi-Wan agrees, but is a bit taken aback at her brusque tone and says the more experience the Jedi can get against the Coalition's ships the better prepared they'll be for the next large scale battle. 

At that she gets in close and her cool eyes betray a touch of sadness before she regains control and questions his statement about the next battle. Increasingly put off by the changing tone in the conversation, Ben tells her that even if the plan succeeds, there's too many holes in the front line the Republic needs to fill and there should be a way to move enough Jedi forward  without weakening their support elsewhere. Her face is coldly blank and she looks him directly in the eye. “Forward to the front lines, then?”

He briefly breaks his gaze but soon responds that he'd prefer to avoid that, but circumstances may demand it if the Coaltion penetrates their lines too far. Korusya stares at him a few moments, steps a few paces away before sighing and looking at him again. Nellith's own emotions  start to come out and she asks if he's really looked at the people on these ships. The younger Jedi doesn't understand the question and she clarifies. 

“You and I remember learning battling remotes and piloting fighters are part of our training. Do you know they remember? Healing wounds, strengthening crops, building bridges. There are good Jedi here; the Force has been their ally in helping those all throughout the galaxy, and they know its their highest duty to serve the Republic. But they're not Knights and you want them to become warriors.”

Its now Kenobi's turn to get a bit stone faced, informing her he's not asking them to be and that he understands that generations have changed them as they've spread far and wide. He says that he respects that Jedi are many things now and he knows they're proud they've never had to pick up a lightsaber, but that can't win the war. 

Nellith is skeptical of this and asks if he thinks their master feels that way? “He's in the far reaches of the Outer Rim because those with the Force without guidance need the most precious thing he could give them, the thing he gave me first and gave you last. Knowledge, sir Kenobi. What these people have gained and what he believes in more than anything.”    

With his previous nervousness and awe at being around Korusya now gone, Obi-Wan candidly tells her that Yoda believes in that, but also believes that it's a Jedi's role to defend. “To defend themselves, their fellow Jedi, and the Republic as a whole.” Imploring her to understand he says a lot of people need guardians now more than ever and if they don't come together and hold back the Mandalorians like they once did, there may not be a Republic to serve. 

Before she can respond, the ship is hit from the side, causing both of them to almost lose their balance. The two instantly know what happened, and on her communicator she asks how the Mandalorians found them. After a hurried pause the voice responds that its because their ship is sending out a signal. The two Jedi look at each other and rush for the bridge. On Phakerem's ship she's informed of the news and orders her forces to target their engines with the time they have. “Clipped wings will have to do for now.”


To be continued...

Post
#717275
Topic
Side characters
Time

The Jedi leader Nellith whom Obi-Wan interacts with in Episode II was a struggle to figure out for a long time before I recently I finally put it together who she is. 

Nellith is the retired gunslinger/samurai, a former Knight who's embraced a new life as a teacher and philosopher similar to how many have in the past few centuries since more of them have moved away from being Knights. She's the embodiment of what the Jedi have been allowed to become, choosing to spread throughout the galaxy and help individuals rather than being a military force at the behest of an increasingly corrupt Senate. 

Her conflict with Kenobi is one of irony, with the centuries old Nellith (the oldest student of Yoda still living) representing the new Jedi and the young Obi-Wan lobbying for a return to what the Jedi used to be in order win the Clone Wars. The nature of this change, turning whole generations of Jedi engineers, farmers, and healers into Knights on the frontline is at the heart of the divide between them. 

To him the logic is simple, have Jedi pick up the lightsaber again, defend the Republic when it needs it the most, and when the peace is won, return of their old lives. Nellith is old warrior though, and knows it won't be that simple. This war will change them, and therein lies a risk greater than their Mandalorian foes because with this war lies the risk of Jedi turning to the dark side, something she knows all too well. 

Indeed, while Nellith is the obvious parallel to Kenobi (a student of Yoda now acting as a leader) she also parallels Anakin, being a Jedi who almost fell to the dark side herself many years before, and just barely being able to pull herself back. Her history and her revelation of how she defeated that temptation foreshadows what Anakin will eventually not be able to do in his greatest moment of seduction by the dark side. 

That moment in her past colors all of her actions in episode II and III; why she chose to put down her lightsaber, why she fears the emotional dark side temptation will face in the war if they go to the front lines, and why she senses that the Jedi will not be the same when the war is over. 

Post
#711941
Topic
Anakin's wife
Time

I've actually got Mother Skywalker (Carima) as bit of comedy relief, adding some light humor to the story. She's an impulsive, quick talking, feisty yin to Anakin's slower, more thoughtful, restrained yang. They're friends and coworkers on Tatooine and she manages to talk her way into coming with him when Skywalker leaves with Kenobi. They start falling for each other over the course of Episode I, get serious and committed in Episode II, and sadly lose each other in Episode III.

Really she's there to keep Anakin grounded and in a sense act as the more everyday person when he starts becoming a serious Jedi. There's a bit of Grant/Hepburn dynamic with the two of them, with both driven a little crazy by the other, but also deeply appreciate of those very qualities. She's his connection to his humanity more than even Obi-Wan is, and once he loses that, he falls hard.

Post
#708748
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Thank you kindly for the feedback Dloomys, it means a lot. 

As for Yoda, no he won't appear here and most likely won't in episode III either. Two reasons:

One, given that the Vader Father and twins surprise will be spoiled, I wanted at least one thing to be kept secret. 

Two, honestly I never could justify a reason to put him in. Yoda's entire connection prior to ESB is that he trained Kenobi and had some connection to the Force that gave him knowledge of Emperor and Anakin. No mention of being a fighter, no indication he was leading armies, or that he was in the war. The more I figured out the story for these Episodes, the less and less he appeared to the point where I asked why he needed to be there. 

Eventually I concluded that he worked better as a mentioned character, a legendary figure who's shadow hangs over various people, never seen, but a driving point for character motivation. Nellith, mentioned in act as the defacto Jedi leader in the nebula, is revealed to be the only other student of Yoda's still active and in many ways she stands in for some of what he represents. 

The conflict between Obi-Wan and her in act 2/3 will in many ways be one to determine the future of the Jedi are to be in this war; active guardians of peace and justice on the front lines vs. the more passive keepers of knowledge who restore and construct for their allies rather than destroy outright enemies.

Do the Jedi healers, engineers, philosophers, farmers, etc who have been allowed to become more than just simple warriors in the past millennia pick up their lightsabers again and become Knights with all the risks that entails, or do they risk the Republic falling by staying as they are? Kenobi and Nellith, two pupils of one Master, both right, both wrong, with the future of the Jedi at stake. 

Post
#708005
Topic
Side characters
Time

Carima Nivir: Mechanic, cargo transportation business owner, and long time friend of Anakin Skywalker on Tatooine. Carima is the scrappy, opportunistic wrench wench who gets dragged along by Anakin and Kenobi in Episode I, eventually spending much of her time in that film either trying to make a buck, snarking at Skywalker, or scoring herself a deal on droids. 

With her future husband, she's the Hepburn to his Tracy, always there to make sure Anakin doesn't take himself too seriously, and ensure that no matter how high a rank he gets, or Jedi status he attains, he's still just Tatooine Nik to her. The banter between the two goes throughout all three films, with their affection for each other growing in each movie. They fall for each other in Episode I, marry at the end of Episode II, and are tragically separated in the middle of Episode III. 

Darelda Organa: Half human Senator of Alderaan, wife of Bail Organa, future adopted mother of Princess Leia, she's the dedicated, but troubled voice of those frustrated in the Republic. Years in the Senate have left her cynical about progress in improving things, though she personally puts herself in major missions (and grave danger) to demonstrate to Republic citizens that not all of the Senate is corrupt, incompetent, or lazy. 

Her noble birth and years of public service have also left her initially haughty and elitist especially when dealing with those outside her comfort zone. While not having much patience with others, she eventually becomes very warm to those she eventually gets close to. 

HX-81: A tall, sleek, and silver personal security droid to Darelda Organa, equipped with various defensive weapons, agile limbs, and advanced battle programs. Armed with both a very dry quick wit, and professional efficiency, he's essentially James Bond if he were a droid. Often acts as the straight man to the rest of the group, with a fondness for calmly lampshading the outrageous, dangerous, or superlative nature of whatever they're currently doing. 

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#707762
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Thanks for the feedback! 

To answer your questions, Kenobi is about 35, and Anakin/Carima are in their mid 20s. Episode I takes place 28 years prior to ANH, II is 4 years after that, and III about 4 years after that. Making Kenobi about 60 come A New Hope, and the unmasked Anakin about 55 when he's unmasked in Return of the Jedi.

Carima and Anakin are indeed a couple, in the course of the film they get serious about their relationship and decide to get married at the end of Episode II.  

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#707575
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Yeah, I'll probably try and do a massive clean up of this thread at some point, especially once my various edits are done. 

Glad you like it thus far. Was tempted to maybe do an action sequence on Coruscant as I was worried the large emphasis on dialogue (especially the exposition dump in the invasion plan sequence) was possibly slowing down the pace too much. 

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#707556
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Huzzah! After far too long a wait, I present you to roughly the first act of Star Wars Episode II: A Galaxy's Fury. 

Film opens up with a crawl detailing the Mandalorian conflict, one so widespread in the galaxy its known as the Clone Wars. The Republic has suffered serious losses as of late, with the most grievous being the fall of Coruscant to the enemy, forcing the Republic, including President Palpatine to relocate to a large remote station. With the Coalition now occupying close to half the galaxy a pair of Jedi are sent on a mission to help start turning the tide of the most destructive war in many millennia.

Slow pan to a large Mandalorian ship coming out of hyperdrive. Its sharp edges and dark color betray its status as a large scale fighter. Cut to inside the ship where several crew members work about the bridge. There's a crisp efficiency to them, even when seen from a distance. A voice is overheard saying deflector shield should be up within a minute. The camera finally gets in close and we see an officer working sensors, a faded purple humanoid with spotted skin, and sunken cheeks. Most disturbing are their eyes, seemingly active, but with in an odd soulless quality to them. 

A slightly monotone voice is heard asking if they've picked up anything in the system. Camera pulls out to reveal the source of that question, the exact same humanoid as the one working sensors, only adorned in command attire. The lower officer responds in the negative, and a wide shot reveals the entire bridge crew are all the same individual, exposing the audience to Coalition clone soldiers for the first time since the end of the previous film.

The commander is about to go back to patrolling the bridge, only to be interrupted by the sensor officer, who says with some confusion that there was a minor fluctuation near the starboard side of the ship, but it quickly stopped. She's ordered to scan again, which reveals nothing.  A beat, and the commander orders a platoon to that area to check it out just in case. 

On the port side of the ship another commander is informed via radio that their officers to be ready to relocate for an enemy search if necessary. A quick camera pan reveals the commander and their officers to be another group of clones. He's in the midst of giving them instructions when there's a sound from a nearby airlock. The two officers nearest turn around to check it, only for an abrupt explosion to go off right there. 

Before any of them can recover, blaster rounds fire out from the newly created hole in the airlock. The remaining clone soldiers make a few retaliatory strikes with their own blasters only for those exact shots to hit them right back. Within seconds, no one is left standing. As the smoke clears, two figures with lightsabers emerge, revealing none other than Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. 

Both men are clearly older, with Ben's beard covering more of his face, and wrinkles starting to appear in certain spots. Time has taken its toll on Skywalker too; dark circles under his eyes, shorter hair, and like his master, attired in dark gray Jedi uniforms. They survey the immediate area and Ben gestures its safe, which leads in a small platoon of armed Republic soldiers who quickly move in and assume their defense positions. 

Kenobi turns to his apprentice, asking what's out there. Anakin pauses for a moment, takes in the area, and responds “Nobody close, that little probe of ours on the other side's got their attention it looks like.” Convinced, Obi-Wan orders them all to the section 1-42-08. One of the officers says that's not the engine room. Anakin nods at him. “Nope, just above it.” 

The group stealthily moves across the halls of the ship which like most of the interior is densely packed, almost claustrophobic in desigh. They stop at a large 4 way section where they hear the sound of various enemy officers. Taking cover behind some storage containers, they take a quick look around, and see yet another platoon of clones scouting the area not far away. Ben quietly says no movement until his say so and gives Anakin a nod. At that Nik focuses his attention while Kenobi does a small wave of his hand in the direction of the platoon. 

Following a beat, the leader of the enemy platoon stops and tells the rest this is the wrong spot, and leads them away. While following the others are confused, and one tells him that the internal sensors detected something in the other direction. As more of them raise objections, none notice the large steam valve just above their heads. Its now Skywalker's turn to move his hand, and with the power of the Force turns the valve, just as the elder Jedi orders the their soldiers forward. 

Before the clones can react, hot steam blows right towards them, a distraction easily allowing them them to be taken out by the now attacking Republic platoon. Briskly following them, the Jedi duo soon are in front. Obi-Wan is just a bit impressed. “You're either getting better or at least quicker.” Anakin shrugs. “Maybe not quick enough, more are getting closer, let's go.”  The whole group once again quickly moves forward.

They finally arrive at their target, a heavy marked door. Once inside, Ben orders the officers to guard the entrance as he and Nik run to a particular spot in what's now revealed to be a large storage room with dozens of containers of all types sitting. After moving a few barrels out the way, the two activate their lightsabers and with exact precision, cut a circle into the floor, with the eventual piece falling through and leaving a large hole. 

Below the two see the engine room, with one of the large twin engines directly below. The younger Jedi pulls a few small detonators off his belt, sets them, and drops them right down. Not even needing to check to see how they landed, the two run back towards the entrance and tell the Republic team to start moving. They head out the door, all of them running back until the hit the four way again and see a large contingent of clone soldiers waiting for them.

A firefight breaks out, and for the first time many of the Republic officers are hit, going down as the others move and look for cover. The clones begin to move in but soon the detonators go off, with with one gigantic explosion, the entire ship is rocked as everyone but Ben and Nik are knocked off their feet. Skywalker helps them up as Kenobi easily parries the sloppy blaster shots by the still recovering clones. 

The latter's moves are graceful, natural, with even his own lightsaber feeling like a natural extension of himself. The former is more blunt, with sudden aggressive movements, resembling an animal striking against a would be predator. As the vessel's gravity begins failing due to the damage Jedi and company speedily attempts to move past the distracted Coalition officers, though even more are picked off the chase.

Now reduced to only the Jedi pair and three soldiers, they battle the fluctuating gravity and a growing squadron chasing them on the run back, as Anakin tells the officers to keep their focus forward no mater what as he and Kenobi will handle the rear. Very soon they are forced to stop once again as a contingent of enemy soldiers appears, hiding behind some fallen debris, and the pursing squadron begins to catch up. 

The two Jedi keep their defenses up as the group is gradually squeezed at both ends. One of the Republic soldiers turns back to check on them and before Nik can finish his cry of “turn back!” the former is hit by of the hiding enemy troopers. In the haste to cover his position, another Republic soldier is also taken out, though he manages to blast his shooter before going down. Sharing the quickest of looks with Kenobi, Anakin turns back to defend along side their remaining comrade. 

More blaster fire exchange occurs before Skywalker eyes the nearby wall and after a moment's thought quickly cuts a hole in with his lightsaber. He loudly tells the other two to go through, with Ben going first to defend if necessary and the Republic soldier in second while Anakin provides cover for their escape. His master gets through okay, but the officer is hit in the chaos, with Obi-Wan just barely carrying him in. After a few seconds heads through the hole as well. 

After cutting through yet another wall, the three finally reach the airlock and move into their ship. Ben sets down the Republic soldier gently on a nearby chair as Anakin gets on the controls. As their now revealed ship moves away from Mandalorian cruiser, small enemy fighters also break off from it and being an attack run, with our heroes doing everything they can do evade. From inside the ship rocks as Skyalker puts the calculations together with Kenobi asking if “it”s not ready then he hopes Nik hasn't forgotten how to improvise. 

“Much as I'd like to show off Ben... not today.” He hits a button surprisingly quickly the ship seemingly splits in two, with the inner portion breaking off from the larger section. The enemy fighters' attention now divided allows him just enough time to put in the last calculations, and like that, the ship jumps to hyperspace. Anakin breathes a sigh of relief and wipes his face. “Let's just hope their curiosity outweighs their sense of spite.” He turns back to Obi-Wan about to ask on their wounded ally, when he sees his friend's dark expression.

Not understanding at first, he moves in close and soon sees the reason as the formerly injured soldier is now slumped over. In a slight panic he checks his pulse for a sign of life, but Nik's face tells the whole story. There's a silence for a moment only ended with Skyalker crumples back down on to the cockpit chair, hands over his face. Ben states the shock probably got to him before they even left the cruiser and Anakin did everything he could have done. 

Skywalker is unconvinced. “For all the good that did.” Kenobi does what he can to reassure him, saying their comrades gave their lives for something they believed in and the best way to honor them is ensure their sacrifice will one that will help save the Republic, pointing out the freed trade routes allowing supplies to desperate people. Nik finally looks up at him, curiosity “Why is is that sacrifice is all we seem to be doing these days?” 

Ben doesn't respond verbally immediately, but does sit next to him, and places his hand on his shoulder. “Faith in the future Anakin, always remember.” Nik begins to mutter to himself about if only that one had just listened to him and that some of them could have made it, but Obi-Wan interrupts. “You are a great Jedi and an even better man, my friend, no matter what you're tempted to tell yourself otherwise right now.” Skywalker appreciates the gesture, and calmly states, more to himself; “You're right.”

They return to Republic headquarters, a large half sphere station, subtly reminiscent of the Death Star. Once on the station Anakin starts to head off, but is quickly embraced by Carima (in now noticeably nicer clothes than last film) out of nowhere who gives him a big kiss. “You keep running off on these missions all time and one of these days you're gonna return to punch to the face instead of a kiss from gorgeous woman.” 

He gives her a look of mock confusion. “Fair risk, just tell me, do you know where to find this gorgeous woman? Please tell she doesn't own a cargo business cause the girl I'm with won't shut up about the one-” She gives him an affectionate jab to the shoulder before hugging him tight. He says he needs to report in and she agrees with walk with him. 

Ben walks in on Darelda Organa, dealing with a host of various other Senators bickering about Palpatine's recent governmental moves. In a clear sign that their relationship has in some ways evolved, she greets the Jedi with some warmth glad to see him and grateful to get away from this conversation. He briefs her on their success, to which she congratulates him, only to inform him that their latest attempt to retake Correlia has been held back, putting them back at square one in terms of progress. 

He wonders if there's been in progress in directing more resources via the Senate, but Organa states only some as the assembly is a mess at the moment with everyone trying to figure out how to protect their planets while still keeping up their own political alliances. When inquired if she's gained any allies of her own, Darelda responds that Palpatine's the only one she's gained any inroads with and slightly curious, asks for the Jedi's take on him. 

After some brief consideration, Obi-Wan says that he strikes him as a populist; dedicated, however fairly unremarkable. She confesses similar thoughts, “Businessman doing philanthropy doesn't often pop up in biographies of great Republic leaders.”  Before the matter can progress 81 arrives, throwing off some dry wit about the Jedis' return, only to report that General Organa is wants to see the two shortly. There is slight surprise, though Darelda states he's probably just curious about the recent mission's progress. 

Back in the halls, Anakin and Carima finish their conversation with her saying that someway her cargo enterprise is still earning a profit. He lightly shakes his head, clearly amused “A completely crazy time like this and you of all people somehow manage to make money. Why does that make so much sense to me?” She rolls her eyes and the two warmly part, promising to see each other later that evening. 

The former heads off, but is stopped by none other than President Palpatine, who calls him into a large office. While Skywalker has met him before, he's still considerably nervous around such a major figure. The political leader congratulates and thanks him for recent service. Anakin attempts to modestly downplay his particular role, but Palpatine won't have it, and declares him to be a model servant for the Republic. Anakin points to the brave loss of several soldiers on the mission, two which the other man sighs. “The never ending sacrifice, the term for our times, eh young Skywalker?” 

That last statement hits Anakin, given his earlier comments to Ben, but he shrugs it off. The Republic soon becomes the focus of their conversation, with the older man lamenting that Skywalker lives in such troubled times, and that even a a few centuries before, the latter would be seeing his dutiful work see good dividends. Anakin points to the president's major contributions, only to be surprised by Palpatine stating that while he's doing the best he can, he often wonders how well the Republic could be if led by a Jedi. 

This concept initially confuses, but quickly intrigues Skywalker as he hears about what benefits a user of the Force could offer to the government and potentially the galaxy at large. Before the Jedi can fully respond, Palpatine dismisses his talk as the rambling of an old politician and once again thanks him for his service. He wishes Anakin well and departs, with the young man clearly affected by his president's words. 

Cut to a gorgeous skyskraper on Coruscant. Though much of the city is still recovering from a previous battle, its beauty and intricate design is still apparent, with countless shimmering structures all over the area, and hard glass buildings to be seen as far as the eye can see. The camera tracks the aforementioned high rise building all the way to the top, at which point it zooms into an enormous and magnificently decorated office seating none other than Chancellor Draezin Crayde himself. 

Crayde has clearly upgraded in attire since last time, looking more respectable as a dignitary though the smug arrogance still radiates every time he talks. He converses with unofficial Republic diplomats with him stating (with enough fake sincerity to almost fool the viewer) that he feels an armistice is the best option long term, but that he isn't the one the negotiators need to convince, saying that it will take a great display of willingness on their part for the likes of Phakerem and the Mandalorians to be swayed. 

They protest that the Senate is still divided on pursuing peace and Draezin revels in their desperation, lying through his teeth about how the loss of life has been devastating to both sides, and that its in the Republic's hands to best save future lives. “The hardest things are so often the most necessary aren't they?” The diplomats say they will do what they can and get back to him, with the Chancellor almost sadistically adding time is of the essence given that while he's willing to be patient, his associates are not. 

With that a satisfied Crayde switches off the communication, only to be addressed by a rougher but still familiar female voice. “Must you enjoy this absurd verbal dance so much?”  He turns to see none other than General Phakerem, herself now looking more battle hardened with scar tissue on her face, and just a hint of fatigue in her eyes. The undercurrent of tension lingers in their conversation, but a professional veneer covers much of it. 

Crayde responds that they're getting better understanding about enemy status with this dance than any military intelligence could give them; “Getting to see the Republic squirm? I've earned that.” She asks what the negotiations suggest about their next battle plan, with him responding that in all likelihood they'll look for any salient they can find on the map and put whatever forces they aren't currently reorganizing after the disaster at Dantooine. 

“And if they aren't?” He's irritated at the question. “Well then they don't have many other options other than doing something remarkably foolish, and even they can't afford those kind of moves anymore.”

She walks over to the window and stares with Crayde following and looking out with her. Down below numerous amounts of different groups of clones march the streets, with dozens of the same clone type making up a unit. Pockets of nervous looking civilians carefully make their way around the city, carefully watched by the armed soldiers. Coalition ship close and far quickly buzz around the area, with a few passing close to the building. The general's face betrays a bit of quiet contentment with the sight. 

“Such peace.  This on every single planet in the galaxy... if only.” Draezin doesn't quite roll his eyes, but responds that to give it time, and it'll be more than an if. She gives him look and regains her hard demeanor, asking if the supplies for the clone chambers are set. He gives small details about wishing for slightly more lim spice, but that they're surviving well enough. She says the “neutralizer development” gets highest priority of their bulk resources on Coruscant.  

He tries to hide his less than positive reaction to this news, but she immediately notices and calls him out on what his issue is. With an attempt at tact, Crayde points to her continual focus on this project makes sense, but that they are hardly in dire straits or in desperate need of this kind of weapon. Phakerem makes it clear that she understands the map of this war better than anyone in the galaxy, and that Jedi forces have been the factor that's slowed their progress in too many areas. She knows her history and explains those who have underestimated the Jedi have paid for it. 

Draezin says he understands, but that an obsession with Jedi may not be the ideal way to twin this war. She gets in uncomfortably close and looks right in his eye. “Keep to your dance Chancellor, and I shall keep to mine.” Satisfied with his discomfort, she turns and explains she's heading to Quandmar for reconnaissance. While walking out, she loudly orders him to handle the problem of the underground resistance. “Troops, gas, explosives, I don't care, just get them dealt with.”

At a large conference hall, filled with various officers, select politicians, our heroes, and Palpatine, Fleet Admiral Organa bluntly states that the current state of affairs can't continue. At best they're holding the line in select systems, losing ground in others, and becoming a non-factor in the rest. He states that they've been playing it safe, trying to engage in a long term game that simply isn't working, and if they keep it up they'll be conserving themselves to their inevitable destruction. 

Kenobi speaks up, asking if they can afford a major gamble at this point, with Organa replying that at the rate they're going its risk losing their resources in one big movement or have it all be gone through their current strategy in less than a year. He adds that its not just a military matter at this point and Palpatine elaborates, revealing to the room that select Senators have approached him supposedly on behalf of their constituents about a possible peace negotiation with the Mandalorians. Murmurs and slight gasps are heard, and Anakin himself, almost indignant, asks if they're actually serious. 

The President responds that whether they are or not, its a serious morale problem regardless, and that the people of the Republic need their faith in their government reaffirmed or restored. Skywalker's body language betrays how bothered  he is still by the implication of a possible armistice, which Darelda notices, but tellingly Kenobi does not. 

The Fleet Admiral explains that the current plan is designed around raising morale; that through a threefold approach they're going to take back Coruscant. This gets an even greater reaction from the assembled group, with Ben a touch pensive and Anakin clearly pleased by the news. Bail adds that the Mandalorians won't expect a brute force maneuver like the Republic throwing their best forces in at a fortified area and that's the advantage they have. 

Bail goes into detail, bringing up the large contingent of armed civilians and soldiers still in the Coruscant underground system led by Major Trukiz still not located by Mandalorian forces as of last contact, though their intelligence has concluded that communication has been cut off. He lays out that they could disarm and destroy enemy defenses on the ground during a Republic invasion if they were directly led by a Republic officer who could get on the planet undetected and get into contact with them. 

Nik brings up any such sabotage won't mean much if the planet still has strong outer defenses, and Organa replies that the third side of the operation will take care of that. He brings up an experimental “station” on the Quandmar nebula, an area that completely renders all sensors inoperative, now currently serving as a base for various Jedi, as they are the only ones with the sense ability to navigate in it. He brings up his contact with Nellith the master leading the stationed Jedi there, and the name gets a curious reaction on Kenobi's face. 

According to Nellith, Coalition ships have been in the area for some time, clearly wanting recognizing the potential for an attack but reluctant to put too many venturing in blind. A Senator in attendance asks what they're suppose to use the Jedi for then. The Fleet Admiral is blunt: “As bait.” He goes to explain that their own intelligence has identified that much of General Phakerem's attacks have been focused on areas with suspected Jedi forces, and for either strategic or personal reasons, much of her best ships and officers are being utilized on them. 

With a visual to demonstrate, Organa details that with the false strategic plans deliberately left by Kenobi and Skywalker on their abandoned ship, and a few more high priority targets including Jedi being seen traveling into the nebula, that the Mandalorians including Phakerem will move their best ships away from the planet and in in order to either capture or destroy the Jedi they believe are planning an offensive. They leave Coruscant, are kept occupied chasing Republic forces in the nebula, and their own forces move in on the planet, ideally assisted by the underground soldiers on the ground. 

At this Palpatine steps in again, and states that the two of them have agreed that the move into Quandmar and contact with the Jedi there will involve Kenobi and Darelda, with the two acting as liaisons of the Fleet Admiral and himself respectively. Bail asks if Ben can make his way in the nebula and protect her, with Kenobi responding  in the affirmative and that he's certain the Jedi there will be willing and able to help. 

After a pause, Ben then inquires how many are being sent to Coruscant to get into contact with the Republic resistance, to which Organa says that it must be a small scale move to reduce the risk of the plan being exposed, and that little more than a small platoon can be sent by sheer necessity; they just need to the best officer to lead them. Palpatine makes it even clearer with a turn to Anakin. “Obviously experienced, but ideally... a Jedi.”

Immediately Ben and Anakin share a look. Skywalker breaths in and addresses the President. “Me?” Palpatine points to his consistent success and progress in missions alongside Kenobi with Organa adding that he's gotten results leading previous troops before. Organa points out the two factors, that a Jedi could best sense the threats there, and that one being sent to the heart of Coruscant would be the last thing the coalition would expect. “Of course, that's if Master Kenobi believes he's up to the task?” Palpatine smoothly states. 

Obi-Wan quietly nods to himself before responding that “My apprentice is ready.” The three turn to Skywalker whose face demonstrates the weight of the moment before finally saying “Where the Republic needs me, I'm there.” Palpatine is visibly pleased and Organa agrees, stating the troops are already prepared and that they just need a commercial ship to smuggle them in. “Tricky thing is finding somebody damned foolish enough to go there and not greedy or scared enough to sell you out to the Mandalorians.” At that Ben and Anakin share a look. 

Cut to Carima in her quarters grabbing a bag asking when they're leaving. Skywalker sternly says there's no way she's flying them there the extreme risk. When Nivir makes it clear she's quite aware of the peril, he reiterates that this isn't some slightly unsafe cargo run, its a flight to the heart of the enemy. She stares at him, her head slightly cocked. “Impressive, I wasn't aware condescending idiocy was a Jedi power.” 

Frustrated, he says they'll find someone else. She isn't changing her mind. “Flyboy I know your education was mostly based around vaporator repair and clearing out wamprats, but let's look at the equation.” She details that he needs a commercial ship on short notice, that's willing to do the mission without backing out,  and has transported the kind of cargo the Coalition wants. “Face it, Skywalker, I'm your gal.”

He keeps shaking his head and tells her one misstep won't just mean the mission's failure, its being blasted by Mandlorian firing squad and that's if they're lucky. She replies that its all the more important he gets someone who knows what they're doing. “Look you once dragged me halfway across the galaxy, nearly had my ship blown to pieces, and got me involved in all this nonsense, you're really telling me I don't get to do it voluntarily this time?”

Nivir adds that despite what he thinks he isn't the only one who's had to spend some time in risky territory, and that she's managed bad situations when she had do before. Nik remains unconvinced. “There's other pilots, other ships, ones... ones we can get past losing.” The fear on his face is apparent and a brief silence passes. She breaths in deep and cradles his hands in hers while explaining that there are in fact certain pilots that she can't afford to lose. 

“If you're going to do the most foolishly dangerous thing there is, then you're gonna need an even bigger fool to watch your back as long as possible. I can't think of anybody more qualified.” Seeing her small smile, he can't help but kiss her. It lasts a few seconds before they stop and he looks at her, saying if its gonna happen this way, then they'll have to follow the Fleet Admiral's orders to the letter. She gives a playful salute. “As you wish, commander.” 

He breaks away and heads off to inform Kenobi and Organa and saying with a hidden grin, of course they might have to redecorate the ship for the mission before they go. Carima's eyes go slightly wide. “Wait, what?”

At spacedock Kenobi overlooks his Republic transport, one outfitted with a number of additional guns and engines; a vessel clearly designed for the travel in the nebula. HX-81 walks up and looks over the ship, not particularly thrilled at its appearance. Obi-Wan notes the droid's dissatisfaction, and iterates that given how many resources have been rationed during the war, the ship's not all that bad, which 81 doesn't quite agree with. “I can't tell if the standards for my visual sensors have gone up or the Republic's taste has simply gone down.” 

Ben confirms that 81's along to protect Organa, which he confirms, dryly stating “After all the only threat to her comparable to a fleet of Mandalorian predator ships is the prospect of having only Jedi to talk for the next week. Practically a death sentence either way.” The Jedi can only scoff as the droid begins to board the ship, stopping briefly to tell him that the senator should be on her way. HX's tone gets sincere, asking Kenobi if the Jedi will indeed protect her. “With every power they have.” The droid nods and heads up the vessel. 

While finishing his inspection, Anakin arrives to see him off. “I'd wish you luck, but I'm not quite sure which one of us needs it more.” Obi-Wan reminds him that they've survived this far with nary any luck in sight and they can do it again. Nik gives him a half-hearted nod, and the older Jedi then notices how bothered his young apprentice is about something and inquires, despite the latter's initial attempt to downplay it. 

After some hesitation, Skywalker admits he's curious as to why Jedi haven't tried running for President, noting what good they could do in the position. Ben is slightly confused by the question, but alludes to previous conversations about how a Jedi's role is to work for the citizens, not have command over them. “We're servants of the Republic, not rulers.” He also adds that those gifted in the ways of the Force could be tempted however minutely, by wielding that much power.

Nik expresses skepticism about that, to which Kenobi explains he knows that when you don't see a Jedi turn for hundreds of years that the Dark Side of the Force begins to seem more fable than fact, but that its threat never goes away. Whatever makes up any individual Jedi, it will be there to corrupt. “That's its most dangerous weapon, Anakin. It takes the best parts of ourselves and makes them our worst.”

That Skywalker somewhat understands, and he explains his frustration that it feels like all of them could be doing more, including their own. Ben asks him what he means and Anakin explicates that there are countless Jedi all over the galaxy they could use, and when Obi-Wan replies that all of them are doing their own part in the war, his apprentice fires back that they're doing so as medical staff, engineers, and even farmers in some cases and where they really need to be as at the front line.  

While uncomfortable in any way telling his master what to do, Nik suggests that maybe convincing some of the those in Quandmar to get more Jedi leading missions could be key to helping turn things around, no matter how the attack on Coruscant goes. Kenobi is noticeably uncomfortable with Nik's implication and queries if really thinks that's the solution. 

Skywalker makes it very clear. “We're losing the war, half the galaxy belongs to the Mandalorians, and we've got a lot people losing their lives wondering if their death's going to be worth anything. Ben what the hell are we doing?” His old friend's words have a clear effect on Obi-Wan, with an expression disclosing just how disturbed he is by exactly that question. 

Sensing this, Anakin apologies and states the stress of the everything has been getting to him. “Look I know you'll figure out what we need to do, you wouldn't be Ben Kenobi if you didn't.” He asks that the Force be with him and gives him a quick embrace. Obi-Wan wishes him the same, his face still featuring the same concern and worry as before. As his student departs, he says he'll know Skywalker will be careful. 

At that, Nik gives him a mock concerned look. “Are you sure? This is me we're talking about.” The two exchange small grins as Anakin moves out of sight and in his place arrives Darelda who also notices his preoccupied countenance and asks what he's got something on his mind, with Ben replying simply “Questions.” She inquires if they're for Nellith. “For all of us I think, Senator.”

Cut to Anakin walking into Carima's cargo ship, and the small elite troop immediately standing at attention. They stay professional as the Jedi quickly surveys the team. Demonstrating the same military authority he did in the opening scene, he expresses that he doesn't need to tell them about either the importance and the danger of this operation, or that this will be far beyond what any one of them have experienced before. 

Skywalker makes a point that he'll do what he can to keep them alive, but there's a good chance he can't protect them completely from their own mistakes and the reality is “If you fail here, then you fail for the last time.” He asks if their internal tracers are in and they all answer in the affirmative. At that, he puts them at ease and tells them to eat and rest now because once they're close to Coruscant, the mission has to be the only thing on their minds. 

Ben, Organa, 81 wait on the outskirts of the nebula, trying appear as if they're sneaking in. After some Republic conversation between the three of them. A Mandalorian ship soon revealed to have Phakerem on it spots them and begins the chase. When they reach the nebula, Phakerem's crew is reluctant to go in, but upon hacking the Republic ship's communication and realizing its Kenobi, she orders their vessel in.

On Niwir's ship Anakin walks into the cockpit to find Carima already there. Nik sits down next to her and she asks if he can handle it. “What, the mission?” She raises an eyebrow. “No, resisting that childish urge of yours to try and show me up and fly this thing yourself.” He grins and leans back. “I'll be fine, besides people on Coruscant would get mighty suspicious if they saw the work of the best pilot in the fleet.” She rolls her eyes “The Mandalorians deserve you in the worst way.” The ship takes off from the station and goes into hyperspace. 

Post
#707200
Topic
How to do the Clone Wars?
Time

Best rough comparison for mine is Operation Barbarosa in WWII, with the Germans (Mandalorians) doing a surprise invasion of the Soviet Union (Republic) in the early 40s (Episode I) making it all the way to Moscow (Coruscant) with their massive numbers of troops (Clones) and after a large scale disastrous battle for them (climax of episode II) they're gradually beaten back to their home and defeated largely by a massive aerial campaign (beginning of episode III). 

Post
#706007
Topic
How to handle the Jedi's fall
Time

I'm actually doing the their fall/metamorphosis in two parts essentially. In the hundreds of years before my prequels begin, the Jedi  for all intents and purposes have dispersed throughout the galaxy. The core motive was moving away from directly working with the senate due to its growing corruption and a belief that they could better serve the citizens of the Republic by offering assistance all throughout the galaxy rather than just the core worlds. 

This would create two side effects. On one hand it allowed them to grow beyond being just knights. Jedi healers, engineers, philosophers, teachers, farmers, now started becoming the rule rather than the exception. Countless users of the force all doing their part to assist without ever using a lightsaber. They had their own first steps into a larger world. 

However this also led to them in many ways becoming mythic rather than public figures. Jedi knights of the past were a highly organized force that were discussed and seen as the guardians of peace and justice that the old days essentially needed. As the centuries went by however and their efforts were put towards more indirect areas, what Jedi were observed seen more exceptional than extraordinary. 

This evolution is at the center of a conflict between Kenobi and the only other active student of Yoda, Nellith, both of who represent the two sides of what the Jedi are to become in light of the Clone Wars. Obi-Wan believes that even though they are already serving in countless support positions, for the sake of winning the war, Jedi need to go back to the old ways and have knights at the front line. To Ben, while he understands their position, the Republic has to come first. 

For Nellith, serving as a quasi-defacto leader of many Jedi, putting them at the front lines offers too many risks. Namely that Knights are the most likely to be tempted by the dark side, and that turning what have been peace time Jedi into soldiers on the frontlines could create enemies worse than what they're fighting. In addition the possible risk of close organization making them easier targets weighs on her mind. There's also a subtext that she has grown to truly value what the Jedi have been allowed to become and doesn't want it to disappear in the fog of war.

In this case both are right. The Republic did need the Jedi at the front to win the war, but that very organization after Episode II will help Palpatine in wiping many of them out and prove Nellith correct. In the end while Kenobi's move wasn't necessarily the wrong one, his failure with Anakin ensured that which helped to save the Republic would serve to doom the both it and the Jedi.  

Ultimately its about expanding the nature and character of the Jedi beyond simple white hats and to further demonstrate what a tragedy their destruction was. It wasn't just the lives lost, but that the new essence of what a Force user could be was annihilated, reducing a vast amount of all kinds of Jedi to much fewer in both kind and number.  

Post
#687626
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Well folks, here's some of the script I've written. Parts of this will change in thefuture due to some character changes to Carima, Nakerem, and Crayde, but the overall feel will be similar.


A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away...

A vast sea of stars serves as the backdrop for the main
title. War drums echo through the heavens as a rollup
slowly crawls into infinity.

The Republic is in decline. 

A vast Galactic Senate, formerly 

trusted to serve the people has 

become rife with corruption and

crippled by bureaucracy.

Gangs of ruthless crime lords

and pirates all but rule over 

many worlds while vessels and

citizens have gone missing 

without warning.

In these trying times a scant 

number of dedicated warriors

and guardians serve as the 

last protectors of a desperate 

galaxy...

EXT. TATOOINE STAR SYSTEM

The desert planet of Tatooine sits peacefully in the stars. Out of nowhere two ships quickly emerge; a small, nondescript, one manned, fairly damaged, cruiser being chased and fired upon with dozens of laser blasts by a sharper edged, sleek fighter in much better condition. The smaller cruiser weaves back and forth attempting to dodge, but is hit by some of the blasts.

INT. CRUISER SHIP - COCKPIT

A helmeted pilot in goggles and goatee quickly but calmly hits several switches while doing his best to keep the ship in once piece.

EXT. TATOOINE STAR SYSTEM

The cruiser quickly halts thrusters causing the chasing ship to speed ahead, but it quickly makes a vertical 360 turn and once again gets behind the cruiser. 

INT. CRUISER SHIP - COCKPIT

Another blaster shot rocks the craft as the pilot briefly looks towards the planet. Thinking it over he steers the ship towards the planet. 

EXT. TATOOINE STAR SYSTEM

The attacking ship continues its barrage against the cruiser. The two ships begin to heat up as they enter the planet's atmosphere. 

CUT TO:

INT. MOS EISLEY GARAGE - DAY

A jumpsuited masked welder works over a piece of equipment. The garage is a bit of a mess filled with various bits and sizes of junk all over. 

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S): Nik? Nik?! 

The welder hears the voice and turns off their equipment. Walking in with a spring in their step is BERU LARS adorned in a light blue robe and dress. Her bob haircut nicely frames the big smile she's sporting. She walks up behind the welder and begins to speak. 

BERU (excitedly): Get this Nik, Owen talked with some of the traders that just showed up in town, and as of this morning, the farm's got six new vaporators coming in this season with more to come after that not to mention-

The welder takes off their mask and turns around to reveal a dirty blond haired CARIMA NIVIR, with both small amounts of dirt and wry amusement all over her face. Beru is confused. 

BERU: Wait...

There's a knock. Beru turns to see the source and spots standing in the doorway, grin on his face and running a hand through his dark hair ANAKIN SKYWALKER. His worn and wrinkled tan pants betray the more formal look of his gray long sleeved collared shirt.   

ANAKIN: Come on Beru, a little short to be me, don't ya think?

He walks down the steps into the room as CARIMA lightly chuckles to herself. 

BERU: Where have you been?

ANAKIN: Strolling. Seeing what the peddlers were trotting out today. 

CARIMA: She's got good news for you Skywalker.

ANAKIN: Really?

BERU: Six cheap moisture vaporators, all this season, all belonging to us. 

ANAKIN: Well, that is... that is definitely... news. 

BERU: Come on Nik, this is big. Owen's had his eye on something like these since last year and now we've got em. We're could very well have double the harvest this time next year. 

ANAKIN: And Owen thinking double the profits no doubt.

Carima stands arms folded, watching the conversation with slight interest.  

BERU: Hey with these vaporators and this freighter job of yours, who knows? We're looking at investments, savings, maybe even some droid help. 

CARIMA (wistful): That's the dream isn't it?

Anakin gives her a look, but Beru gets his attention again.

BERU: Look Anakin, just keep all this in mind okay? Owen's already got a new layout for the season, and he'll want your imput. 

ANAKIN: *sigh* That's what I'm afraid of. Alright, I'll start putting something together. 

BERU: Fantastic. I've got some work myself, so I'll see you back home. Carima, some time you've got to stop by and see how good these six are.  

CARIMA: Make time to look at water collectors? Of course. 

Beru hurriedly leaves, still excited. Carima and Anakin watch her go with the former shaking her head. 

CARIMA: You have a sister thrilled by moisture vaporators. 

ANAKIN: Says the woman obsessed with getting her hands on repair droids.

He walks over to the equipment to admire her handiwork. 

ANAKIN: Nicely done.

CARIMA: Its a basic job;  you know Old Darklighter, if we don't get it done today, its him yelling all day tomorrow. 

ANAKIN: Still Carima, quality work's quality work.  

CARIMA: Eh, yours is almost there; which is amazing given you spend all your actual effort trying to get piloting time. 

He nods, and then looks at her as she puts the equipment away

ANAKIN: What do you mean "almost"?

CARIMA (smirking): Oh, you're good Skywalker, but not that good. 

The two start heading out of the garage. 

ANAKIN: Good enough to not take naps on the freighter, at least. 

CARIMA: I don't do that... anymore. 

They share a smile. 

EXT. MOS EISLEY - DAY

The two casually walk around the spaceport. The area is abuzz with a number of alien pedestrians moving about and multiple small buildings in the midst of construction. Repair droids can be seen working all over. Anakin looks a bit put off by the constant activity. 

ANAKIN: Has this place always this... active?

CARIMA: Look at this way, we may be looking at our next customers right now. 

ANAKIN: You've got greater faith in the future of spice freighting than I do.

They get close to a small shop. While walking both notice a trio of large alien thugs surrounding a small Rodian shopkeeper. Anakin gets concerned and stops moving to watch.

ANAKIN: Who are they? 

CARIMA: Probably work for one of the Hutts.

ANAKIN: Protection money?

Carima shrugs. The three get in closer and start intimidating the owner. Before he can step in, Carima puts her arm on his shoulder. 

CARIMA: Not our fight, come on. 

He resists, but eventually relents, and walks off with her, giving one last look towards the shop. 

CUT TO:

EXT. TATOOINE DESERT - DAY

Anakin drives the speeder over the vast wastes, frown etched on his face. Carima looks at him slightly worried .

CARIMA: Can't beat yourself up about this. 

ANAKIN: I just stood there. 

CARIMA: Getting in the middle of it wouldn't have helped. 

Anakin doesn't respond, still clearly bothered. 

CARIMA: Look we've got a run in the next couple of days and a few more repairs to do; they'll get your mind off of it. 

ANAKIN: A run to Sullust doesn't need a navigator. 

CARIMA: You're going into this routine again?

He rubs his face with one of his hands. 

ANAKIN: What am I doing here Rima?

CARIMA: You're doing your job and staying out of trouble. And if you haven't heard, that's a rare feat in this day and age. 

Anakin shakes his head. 

ANAKIN: Its not enough.  

CARIMA: Hey, focus. Beru had a point Skywalker. You got the farm, got this; I mean if all these companies keep putting in money on this dustball like they are, you might be sitting pretty soon. 

ANAKIN: Cause that's what the galaxy needs right now, another guy getting rich.

The speeder arrives just outside Anchorhead as the first of Tatooine's suns begins to set. Carima hops out. 

CARIMA: Go home and clear your head, ok y? We will need a navigator for Sullust. and as always its you or nobody. 

ANAKIN: I'll try. Thanks.

She gives him a warm nod before he speeds off. Anakin starts heading towards home, but seems to sense something and looks out towards the Jundland Wastes. He can't see anything in particular, but can't take his eyes off it. He briefly tries focusing on his route home, but he can't ignore the sensation and after a moment turns towards the Wastes. 

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES - DAY (DUSK)

The small cruiser lies in ruins atop rocky cliffs, smoke emanating from the ship. We see an arm steadily reach out as the REPUBLIC PILOT slowly pulls himself out of the wreckage and drops roughly to the ground. His helmet and navy blue jumpsuit are dirty and slightly damaged but he remains without any serious injuries. Coughing hard he looks around his surroundings. 

The same fighter as before slowly appears from behind a cliff and starts aiming its blaster cannons towards him. The PILOT turns around to face the ship and starts reaching towards the hilt attached to his belt. 

Without warning blaster shots start hitting the vessel from far away. The REPUBLIC PILOT turns around to see Anakin firing from behind a large boulder. The ship distracted, the PILOT darts down a narrow trail on the cliff, out of the way of the attacking craft.

INT. ENEMY FIGHTER COCKPIT - DAY (DUSK)

From behind the enemy pilot is seen shifting his attention towards Anakin and starts chasing after him. 

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES

Anakin races towards his speeder, hopping in, and quickly taking off with the ship in heavy pursuit. He grits his teeth and takes a deep breath. 

ANAKIN: Always with the bright ideas aren't ya Skywalker? 

Anakin moves along the canyon valley, carefully avoiding the various fallen boulders and large rocks while staying just ahead of the fighter. 

INT. ENEMY FIGHTER COCKPIT

The enemy pilot hits a specific switch while targeting the Anakin. 

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES

A small tracking device hits the back of Anakin's speeder, attaching itself, which he doesn't notice. A moment later he spots a narrow passage in the valley a few dozen meters ahead. Bracing himself he just barely squeezes in, sparks errupting on the side of the speeder as he moves. Once out of the passage he looks behind to see the fighter even closer.

ANAKIN: Owen's gonna love this...

Anakin hits the accelerator, speeding up just enough to remain out range of the the ship's blaster shots. The strain of the speeder's engines is blaring loudly. 

INT. ENEMY FIGHTER COCKPIT 

The pilot moves his targeting reticule a nearby loose rock formation and fires. 

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES

The blast knocks the loose boulders down into the valley, landing hard just ahead of the speeder. Anakin turns and brakes hard, just barely avoiding smashing into the fallen rocks. The passage now blocked, he quickly gets out of the speeder and readies his blaster. A tense silence passes as he waits for the fighter to get in close.

INT. ENEMY FIGHTER COCKPIT

The targeting reticule is focused directly on Anakin as the pilot readies to fire. 

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES

Out of nowhere the REPUBLIC PILOT jumps onto the the top of the ship, landing on his feet.

INT. ENEMY FIGHTER COCKPIT

The surprised pilot looks around to see what just hit him. 

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES

Just as gracefully as he landed, the REPUBLIC PILOT activates a lasersword and as Anakin watches in awe plunges it into the engine. He quickly pulls it out again and jumps onto a nearby cliff landing slightly awkwardly on his feet. 

INT. ENEMY FIGHTER - COCKPIT

Systems and alarms are going crazy inside as the pilot tries to compensate. 

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES

The ship, now starting to smoke from its engines manages an awkward turn and makes a pass towards the REPUBLIC PILOT standing atop the cliff. The PILOT avoids its blaster shots and when it gets close, cuts off its tail, sending the whole vessel into a tailspin.

Anakin and the PILOT watch the ship disappear over the side of the cliff followed by the large sound of crash. The REPUBLIC PILOT takes a brief look down the cliff before heading down into the valley deactivating his sword along the way. He his limping slightly. 

Anakin approaches him as he takes off his helmet, revealing a handsome, yet slightly rugged man in his mid 30s, 

REPUBLIC PILOT: You hurt?

ANAKIN: Forget me, are you still one piece after all that?

REPUBLIC PILOT: It would appear so. 

The pilot takes a look around. 

REPUBLIC PILOT: What is this place?

ANAKIN: Welcome to the Jundland Wastes. You picked a hell of a place to land. 

REPUBLIC PILOT: Not my first choice I assure you. Glad you were here, but what made you think to help me? 

ANAKIN: Well, I saw the insignia on the helmet, and figured anybody from the Republic who's bothered to come all the way out here and on the verge of getting blasted to oblivion probably needs some help. 

REPUBLIC PILOT: Thank you. I imagine my ship coming down made quite the site. 

ANAKIN: I didn't actually see it. 

REPUBLIC PILOT: You heard it then?

ANAKIN: No, that's the thing; I was heading home and I just couldn't get this place out of my head. I don't know, something about it just drew me here. Lucky it did, huh? 

The pilot looks at the young man, subtly intrigued by lets it pass quickly. 

REPUBLIC PILOT: Yes, quite.

ANAKIN: What happened anyway? Who was that?

REPUBLIC PILOT: I wish I could tell you. I was in the system just about to go to light speed for my rendezvous, when I got ambushed. Whomever they were they came out of nowhere.

ANAKIN: And it was marginally safer down here than up there. 

Kenobi nods and shifts the pressure onto one of his legs, clearly bothered.  

ANAKIN: You're not gonna get far with a limp that bad. Here let me get the speeder going.

REPUBLIC PILOT: Its quite alright. 

ANAKIN: With the suns almost set and Sand People about? Trust me on this.

Anakin starts heading towards the speeder. 

ANAKIN: My family's farm isn't too far from here. We've got some room, you can rest up for a bit. 

REPUBLIC PILOT: Hmmm, how soon could get I get a transport out of the system?

ANAKIN: Realistically? Tomorrow morning in Mos Eisley.   

REPUBLIC PILOT: Guess it'll have to do. You have my thanks again mister...?

He puts his hand out. 

ANAKIN: Oh, Anakin Skywalker.

The pilot pauses for a moment.

REPUBLIC PILOT: Ben.

The two shake hands. 

CUT TO:

EXT. BOTHAN SPACE

A solitary pleasure craft creeps up to a small fleet of various official Republic vessels. The former is stylish, clearly custom made and outfitted with quality metals, and elaborate windows everywhere.  

INT. REPUBLIC TRADE SHIP BRIDGE

A dozen Republic officers work at their respective panels.

BRIDGE OFFICER 1: Transmission should be coming in momentarily. 

A noticeable murmur travels among the crew with each one talking to another while laboring. Two near the center of the bridge try and stay quieter. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 2: Lot of forces to to engage a glorified pirate, don't you think?

BRIDGE OFFICER 3: I don't know, if even half the stories about this one are true, its probably for the best we've got this many with us. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 2: I'm just saying, why this many divisions when he has to know if he tried anything against a Republic ship he'd be doomed?

FEMALE VOICE (O.S): Because lieutenant, people like this one thrive by fear...

Reveal of DARELDA ORGANA, a tall and stern half-alien humanoid. Faint yellow-green skin with long dark hair on her head; familiar signs of authority and professionalism are written all over her face. Though in a room of military veterans, she commands both attention and respect. Even her the formal civilian clothes manage to blend seamlessly in a room dominated by military uniformss.

DARELDA: ...and I have no intention of letting this anyone in this fleet feel afraid. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 2: I wasn't trying to question your intentions Senator I-

DARELDA: I'm aware this seems excessive and if we were dealing with even any other gangster scum I wouldn't have bothered, but this one is different.

BRIDGE OFFICER 3: Mrs. Darelda, there's still one of ours that hasn't arrived yet. Shouldn't we wait till he gets here?

DARELDA: Guardian of peace and justice he may be, but we've got no time. I don't know what its keeping him; regardless we can't delay any longer. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 1: Senator, Crayde says he's ready. 

DARELDA: Patch it through. 

On the bridge appears a hologram of DRAEZIN CRAYDE, a dapper well groomed man sitting in a luxurious chair. Despite this and an attempt at a charming smile, the sleaze just radiates off of him. 

CRAYDE: Darelda Organa, this is a delight. I wasn't aware the Senate was taking such a strong interest in this area, but I'm certain many will appreciate seeing the return of some order around here.   

DARELDA: Don't bother with the pleasantries, I'm not one of your sycophants. You're a criminal Crayde, and if it were up to me you'd already be tried and toiling in the deepest spice mine in Kessel for the rest of your life. 

INT. DIAMOND DYNASTY BRIDGE

The crime lord's command deck is the height of decadence. Assorted drinks are stocked close by, with bowls of exotic foods within arm's reach. Soft mood lighting fills the room as loads of crew members work their stations. many of them being exotic, but modestly dressed female aliens. A blue skinned female lieutenant BRACETT stands near him, ready for even the smallest of his orders. Draezin puts on his best attempt at looking offended. 

CRAYDE: You know there's a few out there who would think its unfortunate that a legitimate businessman is getting unfairly accused like this.

DARELDA: And even fewer who would actually believe that you've ever been legitimate in anything. 

CRAYDE: I'm just looking after my interests and smaller associates. Sometimes the weak need the help of the strong. But being a member of the Senate I'm sure you're well aware of that. 

INT. REPUBLIC TRADE SHIP BRIDGE

Organa lowers her eyes as her body tenses up. 

DARELDA: I'll make this simple. Ships have been disappearing all over the Outer Rim.

CRAYDE: Well I've heard rumors of the sort that-

DARELDA: Save it. If anyone's got the reach in this area to know what's going on, its you. We want whatever data you've got about it transferred now. 

INT. DIAMOND DYNASTY BRIDGE

The mask of charm slips from Draezin's face for the first time. 

CRAYDE: I'm not sure I quite appreciate being ordered to give information that you're assuming I have. I'm more than happy to assist the Republic; they could certainly use it. But don't mistake my generous nature for weakness, senator, and don't think I earned all of this while being intimidated by petty bureaucrats. 

EXT. BOTHAN SPACE

Far away a squadron of large cruisers come out of hyperspace behind the Republic fleet and move towards the rendezvous. 

INT. REPUBLIC TRADE SHIP BRIDGE

The slightest smirk shows itself on Darelda. She moves in a little closer to the hologram. 

DARELDA: There's a whole list of charges following you and an even bigger list of people in the Senate who want you personally testifying for all kinds of things. Tell me Crayde how much of that time and money of yours are you willing to spend from here on out in court, in hearings being questioned by countless... petty bureaucrats? 

INT. DIAMOND DYNASTY BRIDGE

Silence passes for what seems like an eternity as Crayde stares dead faced at her. Slowly he grins.

CRAYDE: Oh, that's what I like about Senator, you never hold back. 

He gestures to Bracett who starts pressing various buttons. 

CRAYDE: I'll send what we have, but I can't make any promises about its value. We're business people Mrs. Organa, we just know what we hear. 

Darelda scoffs as she cuts off the communication. 

INT. REPUBLIC TRADE SHIP BRIDGE

DARELDA: Alright tell Alpha II to be careful in getting the data; we don't want that filth sending any tricks our way. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 1: Yes, maam. 

DARELDA: Those coordinates I mentioned, get them ready for the jump to light speed. Let the rest of the fleet know we're going into hyperspace. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 2: Now, Senator?

DARELDA: There's bigger matters that need attention and the sooner we get to them the better. Besides I don't want to deal with Crayde any more than I have to. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 2: I'll send for your security droids.

DARELDA: No. We'll have to leave them with the fleet. If they even knew where we're going, they'd probably hijack the ship and fly us staight back to Coruscant. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 3: Fleet's been informed; we're ready.

DARELDA: Do it. 

EXT. BOTHAN SPACE

The trade ship goes into light speed and disappears. 

INT. DIAMOND DYNASTY BRIDGE

Crayde casually drinks as the crew busily works on getting the data ready for transfer. BRACETT walks up. 

BRACETT: We're getting a coded audio transmission from the General. 

Crayde's frozen for a moment; slowly putting the drink down and taking a deep breath. 

CRAYDE: When did Coalition ships get in the system? 

BRACETT: Just a moment ago. The Republic ships haven't spotted them. 

CRAYDE: Let's see what she needs, then.

A brief buzzing noice is heard. 

GENERAL (O.S): Captain, do you read? 

CRAYDE: General. Organa did the shakedown as expected. They want some information, and we're just sending over-

GENERAL (O.S): A Republic presence here can't be affored. Small suspicions could undo all of our plans. They will not leave this system. 

Crayde pauses, trying to figure out the correct way to respond. 

CRAYDE: Its junk data. By the time the red tape is cleared and anyone imporant in the Senate figures anything it won't matter. Its minor risk. 

INT. CAPITAL CRUISER

From behind GENERAL NAKAREM stands siloutted, watching as Coalition ships move closer the Republic fleet. 

NAKAREM: We will not allow the future of the galaxy be at the whim of risk, no matter how minor. Prepare your officers. What about Organa?

INT. DIAMOND DYNASTY BRIDGE

CRAYDE: Keeping her plans confidential is not one of her strong suits. I know where she's headed. I'll have her dealt with. 

NAKAREM: Remember this Captain, our enemies are fools, but they are not beaten easily. Forget that and defeat is that much closer. 

The transmission cuts off. Crayde sits in silence for a moment before gesturing to Bracett. 

CRAYDE: Alpha II, this is Captain Crayde the data's ready. Should be getting it soon. 

He presses some buttons on his chair as a sinister smile creeps ever so slowly on his face. 

CRAYDE: I do hope this is the start of a more... accommodating relationship between us. 

He leans back into his chair and takes a drink.

EXT. BOTHAN SPACE

The Coalition ships, now close in on the Republic fleet with the large capital vessel finally seen in scale to the others. 

INT. CAPITAL CRUISER

From behind Nakerem, she observes as the cruiser begins firing. 

EXT. BOTHAN SPACE

A dozen Coalition ships fire a seamlessly neverending stream of shots towards the unaware Republic fleet. The latter vessels make a vain attempt to turn around and fire back but are already too damaged to mount much of an offense.

INT. DIAMOND DYNASTY BRIDGE

Crayde watches the abject destruction with a sly grin as he shakes his head, drink in hand. 

INT. CAPITAL CRUISER

Without getting a good look at her face, Nakarem turns away from the window and walks off, addressing one of her officers off screen. 

NAKAREM: Make sure we hit all escape pods, I don't trust that pirate to be thorough. 

EXT. BOTHAN SPACE

The largest ship of the fleet is destroyed in a fiery explosion. 

CUT TO

INT. LARS HOMESTEAD KITCHEN - NIGHT

Beru cuts various vegetables. In walks OWEN LARS, a robed man in his early 30s. Sporting a small beard and a set of clean tan robes he's till relatively young with a hint of older age and maturity starting to creep onto him. While his expression is a bit serious, there's a quiet contentment to him. He walks over and kisses Beru on the cheek. 

OWEN: Vaporators need a bit more work, but should be ready once we get a few replacement parts tomorrow. 

BERU: Nik was checking out the market yesterday so he should know what they've got. 

OWEN: Where is Anakin anyway? He never sticks around Mos Eisley after dark unless he's promised a chance to fly. 

The sound of speeder is heard outside. 

BERU: That must be him. 

Owen walks over to the front door and opens it to see Anakin and Ben standing. Lars is confused by the latter's presence.

ANAKIN: Ben, this is my brother in law Owen Lars. 

BEN (nodding): Its a pleasure. 

Owen stares at Skywalker, looking for an answer. 

ANAKIN: On the way home I... had a bit of a detour.

EXT. JUNDLAND WASTES - NIGHT

On a high cliff, an armored hand emerges, pulling up the enemy pilot. His armor is heavily scorched and scratched, but intact, including a shiny maroon helmet with a visor in the shape of a "T". Standing atop the cliff, just getting his balance, he presses a button on his wrist which projects a small holographic map with a small flashing blue dot.  

EX. LARS HOMESTEAD - NIGHT

On Anakin's speeder the small tracking device briefly lights up. 

INT. LARS HOMESTEAD DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Anakin, Beru, Obi-Wan, and Owen sit around the dinner table, adorned with a modest amount of food. 

BEN: So your mother and your father then?

ANAKIN: They never could adjust to the climate here. After they got sick, Beru and I did what we could, but it was just a matter of time. 

BEN: I'm sorry; it couldn't have been easy for you two. 

BERU: We were lucky. I met Owen around the same time, Nik started doing odd jobs for Darklighter, and then we got the farm. Started small, but each season we get a little bigger.

OWEN: We get by well enough. 

BEN:It does sound promising. 

ANAKIN: Yeah with the all companies showing interest her, things do seem to be looking up.  

Anakin offers a half hearted smile which Ben notices. Owen himself looks over Ben, trying to figure him out. 

OWEN: I'm curious what is that do you do for the Republic?

BEN: Typically work in the core systems, piloting, assistant to diplomats, whatever they need me for.

Anakin's ears perk up at the talk of the core systems and he listens intently. 

OWEN: Lots of duties then?

BEN (shrugging):  There's always roles to serve.

ANAKIN: You probably must have heard something about all those missing ships. 

That comment gets Owen giving Anakin a look before glancing at Ben to see his response. Ben remains low key. 

BEN: Its got the Republic's attention, but I can't say I've heard much more than the rumors that have already gotten around. Some are looking into it, but that's as much as I know. 

Owen remains skeptical, but Anakin is captivated by the small bits Ben's offering. In the background Beru notices the situation and speaks up. 

BERU: I'm just glad none of that's happening on this dustball. I can't even who they would send to deal with something like that. 

ANAKIN: Maybe a Jedi Knight. 

There's a dead silence at the table. Ben's eyebrow raises just slightly while Beru sighs, knowing where this conversation's going. Owen can only scoff. 

OWEN: This again. 

BERU: Nik don't tell me you still believe in those legends about the Jedi and the Force. 

ANAKIN: The stories about them have been around so long, I mean there's got to be some truth to them. 

Ben leans back in his chair and studies Skywalker for a moment.

BEN: Really? What do you even know about these Knights? 

Anakin gets in a little closer, a clear hint of excitement on his face. 

ANAKIN: Well, the stories go that there's a field of energy that every kind of life creates called the Force. The entire galaxy joined together with it and that Jedi can actually draw power from it.

Ben's face remains largely expressionless, but there's just a bit of a twinkle in his eyes. 

BEN: And you don't fine that a bit... eccentric?

ANAKIN: Well, I-

OWEN: Or that the Republic not only authorizes these Jedi Knights, but relies on them to protect it. (shaking his head) I swear Anakin sometimes...

ANAKIN: Look, it sounds crazy, but if there's something that suggests everyone in the galaxy is connected and there are people dedicated to helping all of them? Well that's worth believing in no matter how true it is. 

Unnoticed by the others, Ben subtly smiles to himself. Owen still can't believe it and lightly laughs to himself. 

OWEN: Well if they do exist, apparently doing something about the damned Senate isn't worth their time. Or maybe there's just limits to even what a Jedi can do. 

He continues to chuckle to himself as Anakin sulks about the latter point. Beru once again picks up on the vibe and steps in. 

BERU: Ben, we shouldn't keep you up much longer. You've got to rest and we'll need to get into town early tomorrow. Here let me take you to the guest room. 

She gets up and shows him the way and he follows. Owen gets out of his chair and walks over to Anakin. 

OWEN: Look, I get it. You saw someone in trouble so you had to step in. It was right that you did. But we don't know what's going on with him. Republic or not he could be involved in all sorts of things, and it doesn't do us any bit pf good to get caught up in affairs that aren't our own. 

ANAKIN: He just needs a ship. 

OWEN: So, we'll drop him off in Mos Eisley to find one. I'm sure he'll be okay. Listen, you, me, and Beru; we finally have something going. Remember that. 

He walks out as Ben hears of all it in the next room, frowning. 

EXT. LARS HOMESTEAD - NIGHT

Ben stands outside the home staring up at the night sky. He briefly turns to the door to see Anakin coming out and walk up before returning his gaze to the stars. 

BEN: Bright moon. 

ANAKIN: That's nothing, you should see when all three are out. 

There's a moment of silence as they both take in the night. 

BEN: I want to say I'm grateful for you and your family's hospitality; you've all been quite kind. To be honest I wish I could stay longer, but there's loads of matters that need my attention and my presence. 

ANAKIN: Like the missing ships and the people that have disappeared with them?

The older man pauses, slightly surprised at Skywalker bringing it up.

BEN: Well, yes that an element of it. Few credits or not I'll have to get that transport soon. 

Anakin nods to himself and shrugs. 

ANAKIN: Well if its just a pilot you need, I might be able to pull some strings and take you on the freighter. Won't be easy, but if I'm careful I-

BEN: Anakin, Anakin, Anakin. You've already been a great help to me. Last thing I want is you to disrupt things for you any more than I have. I'm sure there's plenty of pilots in Mos Eisley I can find who are open to negotiation. I thank for you for everything, but I'll manage.

Ben begins to walk back inside as Anakin reacts.

ANAKIN: Huh, I've never been thanked by a Jedi before.

That stops Ben in his tracks. He slowly turns around to face the younger man, confused, yet curious. 

ANAKIN: Come on Ben. Making it out of the crash, those moves with the fighter, and that sword...  I've heard enough legends about a lightsaber to know one when I see it. You're a Jedi Knight.

Ben still tries and play it cool. 

BEN: So I'm a decent pilot that's also good at protecting myself. How do you know that and one weapon makes me a Jedi? 

ANAKIN: I just know. And if one of you are getting involved, than this whole thing is bigger than you're letting on isn't it?

The older man stares at Anakin's face, looking for any last signs of deception or treachery. Quickly enough though he warmly smiles and nods. 

BEN: You're instincts are quite impressive young Skywalker if you don't mind the likes of Obi-Wan Kenobi saying so. 

ANAKIN: Obi-Wan Kenobi... so you really are part of all this. What's going on?

BEN: Its a bit more worse than I let on. I was on my way to a rendezvous with Republic forces to get intelligence about the ships that vanished. I believe whomever ambushed me in orbit either didn't want mt there or had some vested interest in taking me out. 

ANAKIN: And you didn't know if I was the type to sell you out. 

BEN: I wouldn't be telling you any of this if I didn't think I could trust you. 

Anakin has trouble meeting his gaze, clearly touched by the man's faith. He struggles to talk for a moment.  

ANAKIN: Could you ever trust me enough to teach me in the ways in the Force?

Its Kenobi's turn to be slightly overwhelmed. 

BEN: Its not that simple. Learning to use the Force requires utmost dedication and Anakin, the life of a Jedi is never an easy one. 

ANAKIN: I've done easy Ben, and I've had my fill of it.  

BEN: Think about what you're saying my friend. There is great potential in you, I see that. But this life may not be for you.

ANAKIN: Can you really say that there’s nothing in me right now that can’t be made into something great?

Obi-Wan gives him a sad smile. 

BEN: Can you really say that there’s nothing here you won’t regret leaving behind?

Anakin tries to reply, but ultimately has no response. Ben understands and affectionately places his hand on Skywalker's shoulder.  

BEN: You'll find your way Anakin, and I'll find mine. May the Force be with us both. 

He leaves, as Anakin considers his words. 

EXT. NAR SHADDA SPACEPORT - NIGHT

The Republic trade ship makes a soft landing at the docking bay. 

INT. REPUBLIC TRADE SHIP HANGAR

Darelda stands adjusting the last bits of her new outfit, a common looking set of smuggler clothes, complete with a small blaster holster. Some of the Republic officers from the bridge stand nearby also in smuggler attire. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 2: You really want everyone seeing that blaster?

DARELDA: Its Nar Shadda lieutenant, around here the ones not openly showing off their firearms are the ones everyone keeps their eye on. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 1: I still think an escort would be best. They could keep a distance, I doubt anyone automatically think-

DARELDA: No. Potentially getting noticed by the types here would be bad enough, but if the contact gets scared off, we may never get another chance like this. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 3: This wretched planet isn't the place for member of the Senate. 

DARELDA: They needed someone in the Republic they could trust; I'll take it as an honor they chose me, location be damned. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 2: How soon should we try contacting the fleet to see what they got out of Crayde?

DARELDA: Give it some time. Strange transmissions can grab attention as easily as anything else. I'll be back when I can. Do a few routine checks of the area, don't get too far, and be ready for anything. We're not in the core systems anymore. 

BRIDGE OFFICER 1: Good luck Senator. 

DARELDA: To you all as well.

EXT. MOS EISLEY - DAY

Kenobi, Anakin, Beru, and Owen ride the speeder into Mos Eisley which is looking as busy as ever. The four of them step out. Ben faces Beru and Owen with Anakin slightly off the side, still clearly bothered. 

OWEN: Well this place should be crawling with pilots.

BEN: I'm sure I'll be able to find one.

BERU: Safe trip back to wherever you're going, Ben. 

BEN: Thank you both. 

He turns to look at Anakin. The young man manages a small sad nod, which Ben returns in kind. With that he heads off, leaving the three to watch him depart. 

BERU (to Anakin): He'll be okay. 

OWEN: We better get to the market before the worst of the rush hits. 

The two start walking. Skywalker gives a long look towards Obi-Wan in the distance before following his family. 

EXT. MOS EISLEY OUTSKIRTS - DAY

The enemy pilot looks through a pair of binoculars, seeing Kenobi and company far away. He begins to march towards them.

EXT. MOS EISLEY - DAY

Beru and Owen busily stroll through the market, with a disaffected Anakin following closely behind. While walking he stops and notices the same shop from the day before, now notably trashed with damage to the walls and several windows smashed.

ANAKIN (softly): Oh no...

Immediately concerned he gets close and peeks in through the windowless frame. The inside manages to look worse, with merchandise still spilled everywhere and even more items heavily damaged. What truly catches his eye is the Rodian shop keeper, walking with a heavy limp and much his face clearly bruised. He attempts some small attempt at clean up before noticing Anakin and slowly walking up. 

SHOPKEEP (subtitled): Can't help you, we're closed.  

Anakin is taken aback by the sight and almost stumbles back. He breathes heavily for a bit and closes his eyes for a few seconds. After a moment, his eyes go wide open, and its a new Anakin Skywalker. He reaches into his pocket and hands the confused shopkeep some credits. 

ANAKIN: Keep it. 

With that, he turns around and begins walking with a purpose he's never quite had before. He passes straight past Beru and Owen when the former stops him. 

BERU: Where are you going?

ANAKIN: Ben has to get a ship, and I've got one. I'm flying him off here. 

OWEN: What?! What are you talking about? 

ANAKIN: He's a Jedi Knight Owen. A real Jedi and he needs help from someone he can rely on. 

BERU: You can't be serious. 

OWEN: You have important priorities, Anakin; things that need to be done here. Now you're going to just leave with some stranger because you think is a Jedi? 

ANAKIN: Look, I'm sorry. Its not like I hate being here, I don't, but there’s something I can do right now. Because I have to. 

BERU: Please, don't do this.  

ANAKIN: I'm not gonna be gone for good. I'll be back. 

OWEN: Have you thought at all what this will do to your sister and I? What it'll do to everything we've made? You're gonna get yourself killed.

ANAKIN: You guys will make it. You're both capable, that I knoow. (pause) I have to go find him. 

With that he quickly runs off to find Kenobi.

OWEN: Anakin?! Anakin?!

BERU: Nik come back!

He looks back at them. 

ANAKIN: I'll be back, I promise. 

EXT. MOS EISLEY ALLEY - DAY

The enemy pilot stalks the streets, readying a large blaster pistol. 

EXT. MOS EISLEY SPACEPORT DOCKING BAY 42 - DAY

Ben stands in an empty spaceport thinking. He reaches into his pocket and stares at the small amount of credits and sighs. Suddenly he gets a disquieted look on his face, sensing something. He slowly grabs his lightsaber and when there's a noise closeby, he activates it. Walking backwards very slowly, he then quickly turns around to defend himself, only to discover Anakin.  

BEN: Anakin, what are you doing here?

ANAKIN (Out of breath): Look, if I leave this place, I’ll have some regrets, I’ll have some fears, I know that. But this is the time. There’s something bigger I want to be a part of.

BEN: You believe I can make that happen?

ANAKIN: The Force can.

Kenobi thinks it over, but then gives him a slow nod. 

BEN: Of course. 

ANAKIN: So where do you need to get to?

BEN: Bothan space. Its where I was supposed to meet the rendezvous. Hopefully either the fleet or a few trade ships are still there. You said that your freighter can get us there. 

ANAKIN: Yeah its over in docking bay 38, not too far from here; if we get over there quick and I do some quick-

Out of nowhere Ben pulls up his lightsaber to block a blaster shot headed right for Anakin. They both look up and see the enemy pilot with a blaster aimed right towards them standing on an uppder deck. The enemy's appearance perturbes Kenobi and the two quickly duck behind a pair of nearby crates as the pilot continues to fire.

ANAKIN (pointing to pilot): Is that...?

BEN: It would appear so. Get the ship ready; I'll keep him occupied. 

ANAKIN: I'm not leaving you alone. 

BEN: Have some faith my friend. Go. 

Anakin nods before standing up and blasting at the pilot several times. He just barely escapes the siight of the shooter who now focuses his attention on Kenobi. Ben looks around the area and spots a small steel grate which he grabs. He makes an abrupt dash towards a collection of storage containers, roughly lined up as stairs. The pilot continues to blast at him, though the Jedi is able to use the grate as a makeshift sheild.  

BEN (to himself): Quickly now.

He reaches the same floor as the pilot who aims for an overhead fixture, loudly detaching it from the wall and sending it crashing down, just barely missing Kenobi who manages to dodge out of the way. Frustrated, the pilot activates a switch on his forearm which now begins to shoot wave after wave of energy beams towards him, all while also firing his blaster. 

Once again Kenobi seeks cover, this time behind some discarded ship equipment. He closes his eyes and calms himself, briefly considering his options before quickly standing up. With a precise angle he deflects the pilot's blaster shots right towards his arm cannon, severely damaging it. The pilot manages a small shocked grunt, and tries immediately to adjust the weapon. 

This distraction allows Ben to get just close enough and he cuts the edge off of the pilot's blaster, though the helmeted attacker is able to back away before the Jedi can do more damage. Standing on the edge of the deck, the pilot once again aims his arm cannon towards Kenobi. The damage however causes it to short circuit and explode, and the momentum sends the pilot down hard onto the spaceport floor.

KENOBI'S P.O.V. - ENEMY PILOT

The enemy pilot lies dead a floor below. 

BACK TO SCENE

Obi-Wan makes his way back down and walks slowly up to the body. He slowly removes the helmet to see the face underneath and is stunned by the site. He makes a brisk exit as the camera lingers on the pilot's head to reveal the same alien humanoid as Nakerem. 

EXT. MOS EISLEY SPACEPORT DOCKING BAY 38 - DAY

Anakin makes some last minute adjustments to the exterior of a long sleek spice freighter with its ramp down, the Lodestar. With a bulged section in the rear, by all appearances it seems quite nice. Kenobi rushes in and goes straight to Skwyalker. 

ANAKIN: Alright there's just some minor business to do and-

BEN: No time. We have to leave as soon as possible. Whatever's going on, its much greater than some missing ships. We need to be at that rendevoux site fast. 

ANAKIN (slightly confused): Okay, well if that's the case we'd better leave now; if any of the other workers or Darklighter finds out what I'm doing we're both dead. Come on. 

The both head up the ramp into the ship. 

INT. LODESTAR COCKPIT

Both men sit down and strap themselves in. 

ANAKIN: Should probably tell you now, this thing looks better than it flies. Except for the hyperdrive this thing doesn't handle easy. 

BEN: If what I fear is happening, we're about to go to the farthest thing from easy. 

EXT. MOS EISLEY SPACEPORT - DAY

With some slight difficulty the ship lifts itself off the ground and flies into the air.

EXT. TATOOINE STAR SYSTEM

Picking up speed, the Lodestar makes its way out of Tatooine's atmosphere. 

INT. LODESTAR COCKPIT

ANAKIN: Coordinates are in, jumping to light speed. 

In the cockpit window stars become streaks as the freighter
makes the jump to hyperspace.

EXT. TATOOINE STAR SYSTEM

The Lodestar disappears into the distance of space.