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CHRomer

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Trusted Members
Join date
10-May-2014
Last activity
26-Apr-2019
Posts
24

Post History

Post
#1265483
Topic
Star Wars Episode III: Broken Forces
Time

A very interesting update, really. It is very interesting to see how the relationship between Kenobi and Skywalker has changed. They are friends, but it is clear that Kenobi is realizing that they are more distanced than it seems. And Phakerem knows that they have lost the war, but that they will not surrender peacefully (at least for the moment) and that if to end the war and obtain peace the Republic has to lose 100 soldiers, it will be so.

I’m sorry I could not give you feedback before, but I was hoping there was another update to have more content and have something else to comment on.

By the way, I sent you a PM commenting on an issue, do not worry, it’s not bad at all. I’m telling you here because I know that you do not receive notifications to the mail and also in case you have not seen the notification on the web.

Thanks and I look forward to see the next update.

Post
#1200594
Topic
Star Wars Episode III: Broken Forces
Time

A very interesting update, really. The relationship between Anakin and Palpatine is closer than before and Palpatine is already beginning to “manipulate” Anakin. On the other hand, Llanad asks Darelda to investigate and locate the spy responsible for the attack.

As for you trying to make the effort to continue for regularity, if you have Act I completely figured out or almost, please make the effort, at least until the act is finished, then if Act II is more advanced or less that’s another issue but try to at least maintain the regularity of the updates.

I look forward to see the next update.

Post
#1198773
Topic
Star Wars Episode III: Broken Forces
Time

Glad to have you back, CWBorne. This update really brings interesting things. Skywalker’s obsession for Carima’s safety, the loss of life in the war, and the quickest way to prevent more people from dying in the conflict, even if these are more extreme methods.

And by the way, you could answer this question:
When you say that “I will try to eventually turn these into more formal screenplays”, obviously I already know what it means, but does it mean that you already have completely clear what you are going to revisions/edits from the previous episodes? And if those revisions/edits will we see them directly in script or will you start modifying the treatments that are already posted and then do the scripts?

Thanks and I look forward to see the next update.

Post
#1127840
Topic
Star Wars Episode III: Broken Forces
Time

I regret not having commented on the previous update, but being an update a bit short, I was waiting for you to put more updates to give you feedback. Good start. The people of the Republic are beginning to be concerned about the Jedi and their clones. And Anakin acts very hard in this episode, each time he looks more like Darth Vader.

Could you answer a question:
-How old is Anakin in this episode? I ask you this question, because I thought that in A Galaxy’s Fury he was in his mid 20’s, however in this episode he says he is in his mid 30’s. I thought it had been 4 years since II.

Thanks and I look forward for the next update!

Post
#975900
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Okay, but answer me this question because I have not been entirely clear to me:
You’re saying that you will do both the script and the treatment at the same time?

Because I had thought that if you were not still clear some things from Episode I to make the script, that you do the script of Episode II which you have it done more recently. By this I mean that if you want to do both the script for Episode II and the treatment for Episode III at the same time, go ahead, but putting more work on the script. An example would be something like this:
script: 70-80% and treatment: 20-30%.

What do you think of the idea?

Post
#975872
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

A great end to a great episode. The truth is that I’ve been thinking about how you were going to put Anakin the name of Darth Vader, but who would have thought that in your prequels was a Jedi title, you’ve outdone yourself.

I think there is an error in this sentence: “Not too far away, Ben and Carima move through open street tunnels on Coruscant…”, I think it’s Anakin not Ben, because she later talks with Anakin. And if you can, change the title of the topic, instead of putting current progress, put complete, finished or something like that 😉

I know that maybe it’s a bit early to ask this but, what are you going to do now? You will continue with the script of Ep.I as you said to me that you would do? Or you will start thinking the treatment for Ep.III and when its complete you will focus on the scripts?

Post
#963317
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

I loved this update, the battle begins to turn in favor of the Republic. Anakin seems to have already defeated Obi-Wan’s clone and also discovered how to beat the cloned Jedi (who would have said it would be with the mind trick). While Obi-Wan and Phakerem have confronted again, and now she plans to confront Nellith, which is using the dark side.
I look forward to the next update!

Post
#947463
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

First sorry I not given you feedback on the previous two updates, I did not because these two updates were and I did not want to repeat the feedbacks of others. Having said that, good work, CWBorne, Obi-Wan, Nellith and several Jedi have finally “landed” on Coruscant and prepare to face Phakerem and her cloned Jedi, while Anakin prepares to face Crayde and nothing less than a clone of Obi-Wan.
I look forward to the next update!

Post
#918954
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Good work, CWBorne, a great update. You have left me wanting more 😉. The conversation between Obi-Wan and Nellith It is very interesting (it works better this way). And now almost all are already reunited in the planetary fight, the power center has been destroyed, the whole plan is going well.
I look forward to the next update!

Post
#916233
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Welcome back! Before commenting on the new update I have a doubt about the order of scenes:
“Cut to a pair of hands picking up a blaster rifle, which we soon see belong to steely eyed Carima inside the resistance headquarters…”
This scene, which you placed in the previous update (which is modified, as you said), but this scene is on the last update of page 2 of the topic, my question is: what is the right order? because if it is new, you should delete the scene of that update (page 2) from the topic.
“Cut to Nivir hiding among various cruisers. With acceptance settling on her face, she tells him that if they’re in trouble no amount of help will make a difference. Trukiz mentions…”
And another question I have is that in this scene of this update, Trukiz appears, if I remember correctly, Trukiz was the person with whom Anakin and the rest were to contact once they found the resistance, but when they find it, Fordala says Trukiz died weeks ago. Then it is a mistake? or Trukis (like this in this update) and Trukiz are not the same person, and just change the last letter?

And a question that I’ve been thinking, how do your Jedi dress in your prequels, or at least Anakin (as a Jedi) and Obi-Wan? Like in the original prequels? As in The Clone Wars (2008 TV-Series)? Or as Luke in Episode VI?
I have also doubts to the appearance of Phakerem, it’s kind Jango Fett, but in woman version or as the first Mandalorians as Star Wars Wiki says: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Taung
I’ll give you feedback when you put the next update, as this update is not much to say.

Post
#758857
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Very interesting, I did not expect that the traitor was a Jedi, I thought it would be HX-81. And Kenobi and the others have found that the Coalition have cloned a Jedi. And Anakin has "sacrificed" himself for the resistance can enter into the base of the Coruscant defense network.

Good joob as always CWBorne. I look forward to see what happens in Act 3.

Post
#756658
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

Very good work. From what I can observe your first update focuses more on Kenobi and the second focuses more on Skywalker. As for Kenobi's history, I like it a lot. He's trying to convince Nellith that more Jedi are needed in the field to win the war. And now they have a traitor aboard, and as someone who read most of your posts, I think I know who it is.
As for Skywalker's history, I liked too. He's trying to lead the mission as best he can, but for one circumstance or another, things become more complicated. We are getting closer to his trauma.
I look forward to see the next update.

Post
#734101
Topic
How would you handle the transition from Republic to Empire?
Time

I've been thinking about it, and the way I'm thinking my prequels, I have developped two ways:

  • The assassination of the President in Ep.I, force the Republic to form a Council of five senators until a new President is elected. The Council is formed by: Bail Organa, Palpatine and three more. The votes are in favor of Organa and probably he will become the new President, so Palpatine secretly ordered the clones forces, led by his associate, to attack Alderaan and kill Organa. After Alderaan is saved, and Organa is safe, probably (still undecided), Bail, influenced by Kenobi, decides to return to military service. Finally Palpatine is chosen as the new President and his first act as President is to turn the Galactic Republic into the Galactic Empire to fight the war against the clones.

  • In the same way as above, except for Palpatine form the Empire at the end of Episode III. The war and the loss of the Jedi left the Republic devastated and Palpatine easily transforms the Republic into the Empire.

Those are the two ideas that I am developing. I will develop both and then decide which choose. Leave comments, to see which one you like more.

Post
#724780
Topic
How to make the disfigurement of Palpatine's face?
Time

Hi guys. Lately I've been thinking about the characters appearance, and I've still thinking how to make Palpatine has the deformed face that he has in ROTJ.

From my thoughts, there are three options:

  • Make the dark side wear the body and if the user is so immersed in the dark side can even make changes in the body like deformations, etc.
  • Like the original prequels, that he leaves to be deformed or after an attack, he survives, but his face is deformed.
  • That in his past, he was a general, and his face deformations were some old war wounds.

What are your thoughts? What are your own ideas? Please let me know. Thanks.

Post
#713163
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

Ok, thanks for the clearance.

DuracellEnergizer said:


I'm planning on getting started on writing the next episode right away, so I may be posting something new within a couple of weeks or even days. As Darth's just a baby in this next episode, though, he won't be doing much; you'll have to wait for the third episode before you see him do anything worthwhile. ;-)

 The issue of that Darth is a baby, you mean he will have 1 to 3 years or simply months?

As I read in another post from Episode II to Episode III pass 16 years, that would make Darth in Episode III has 16 to 19 years, right?

I think it would be more correct that he has at least two or three years, to make it look in Episode III like Anakin in AOC.

Post
#713138
Topic
Star Wars: The New Dawn (The First Episode in DuracellEnergizer's New PT Re-Write) *COMPLETE*
Time

I liked the episode I, you've created a story differently than most prequels rewrites. Making the protagonists are caught and put in a kind of concentration camp, as in the World War II with the Nazis and prisoners of war.
It is also interesting the vision of the Jedi in your prequels, being divided into different types or guilds, the only thing I didn't like from your Jedi is the vestment of the guild it belongs to Obi-Wan, I don't see the Jedi Knights, guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy dresses like the picture on page 2 of the clothes of Obi-Wan (unless it's just for episode I).

Another thing I'm not agree is the age of two characters:

Obi-Wan: If I am not mistaken in this episode he is 20 years old, I think you put him too young, in my opinion he should be at least 25, to represent the maturity he has in this episode.                                                           

Beru: In the same way that RicOlie_2 said Nashira should be older for  Anakin to notice her. The same goes for Owen and Beru, she should be at least 14, to be Owen's girlfriend, and I don't think a boy with 17 year old boy notice a girl of 12.

Leaving aside the issue of the ages of the characters, it's interesting the idea that the Republic has already been replaced by the Empire, but does not convince me at all. As everyone else is doing, I think Palpatine should be the one who declares the Galactic Empire.
But as I said above the story is very good, these are one of the few things that do not convince me.

I look forward to see Episode II to see the orphan boy named Darth Vader and Anakin's fall to the dark side.

Post
#707571
Topic
CWBorne’s Prequel Treatment Omnibus Thread (Current Work: Revisions & Edits)
Time

I liked it. You introduced Palpatine, which has already been elected President of the Republic and he begins to pursue Skywalker, and the missions of the main characters: Obi-Wan, Darelda and 81 leaves to contact the leader of a group of Jedi, Nellith. And Anakin and Carima heading to Coruscant to contact with the resistance of the Republic.
I also liked when Anakin talks to the troops and says: "If you fail here, then you fail for the last time". He already begins to sound like Darth Vader in the OT ;).

Just a little question:
Could you put each episode on a different post?
It would be more comfortable to read the treatments and the scripts for each episode.

Great Job and i look foorward to see the next part ;)