RogueLeader said:
Hmm, what if Finn recognized the patrolling stormtrooper that Lando shoots? The scene could play out slightly different so they could have a longer interaction. Then, while they’re on their way to Kijimi, Finn and Rey could be exploring/repairing Ochi’s ship when he has that brief PTSD moment.
That could work - it could be a small patrol that finds them, so Finn can have his moment with a stormtrooper while the others fight the rest, and the fight scene is ended by Lando’s arrow hitting the final stormtrooper. That way, the two different beats (Finn recognises the trooper he killed / Lando rescues them) don’t step on each other’s toes.
This may too radical of changes, but I just wanted to throw these ideas out. If you were to go with the idea of Finn starting a revolt on the Star Destroyer, I also think it would be interesting if you had some scenes play out differently to where Hux survived until the final battle.
- First of all, I would remove the idea that Palpatine has his own soldiers. All he has are his Sith cultists/loyalists, and his large leftover fleet from the days of the Empire. They need the First Order’s army to man it. I would also change the red Sith Troopers into “Royal Troopers”, a legion of First Order stormtroopers that are meant to defend the Supreme Leader, whoever it may be.
I’m personally fine with the idea that Palpatine has an army of his own from Exegol; as discussed earlier in the thread, it gives the opportunity for the Sith Troopers to be completely brainwashed from birth (or even specially cloned, now that I think about it), in contrast to the stormtroopers, who are capable of making a choice. I might use the name “Royal Troopers” though; “Sith Troopers” sounds too KOTOR-ish to my ear (I love KOTOR, but it sounds atonal in the context of the ST).
- Pryde could be present at Poe and Finn’s execution, and Hux takes this opportunity to save them, as well as killing Pryde.
- The scene between Palpatine and Pryde will now be between Palpatine and Hux, and he orders Hux to come to Exegol to use his army to man the fleet. He also could call Hux, “Supreme Leader”. Plotting a coup seemed like an obvious direction after the way Hux looked at Kylo at the end of TLJ, so I think it would be more satisfying to pay his story off.
- You give Pryde’s role in the final battle to the newly named Supreme Leader Hux.
I like the idea of Hux surviving until the final battle. I think the ST increasingly did Hux dirty; he was a great character in TFA, and they increasingly reduced him to a snivelling coward in TLJ and TROS without understanding that being a snivelling coward only worked in TFA because he was also powerful and frightening. Killing him in such a meaningless way felt like a waste.
The book insinuates that he’s planning a coup even more than the film does, and while I enjoy the twist in the movie that he actually doesn’t care any more and it’s purely personal now, I think it works better in the book to stick with the coup idea. I imagine the reveal that he’s been the spy going like this:
Finn: Why do you want us to win?
Hux: I don’t want you to win. I want Kylo Ren to lose.
Instead of the original, slightly but importantly different:
Finn: Why are you helping us?
Hux: I don’t care if you win. I need Kylo Ren to lose.
I don’t think Hux needs to become the new Supreme Leader at that point, though; at that point in the story, the First Order (and Palpatine) have no reason to suspect Kylo Ren has changed at all, so he would still be considered the Supreme Leader. As far as they know, he’s still just off on his mission somewhere.
I really like the idea of Hux killing Pryde. I feel like that would be extremely satisfying to read, given their dynamic in the novel.
- While Finn and Jannah are on their way to destroy the signal tower on the destroyer, Finn gets the idea to instead hack into the signal tower and transmit a call of rebellion to the stormtroopers on all of the Star Destroyers.
- This would be a brand new scene, but you could write a quick montage of troopers taking their helmets off on various destroyers and turning on the officers, including Hux’s destroyer.
- Hux could hear over the comms, or see on the ship’s surface, that troopers are rebelling, so Hux’s orders the ship to self destruct before the bridge is overrun and Hux is killed by his own men. I just think if you’re going to have stormtroopers rebel, it would be much more satisfying if Hux was the one reaping what he sowed. ( This whole change also allows you to change the awkward interaction between Finn and Rose where he basically tells her he’s gonna sacrifice himself, which totally goes against her message to Finn in TLJ.)
- Transports full of troopers could be described escaping the destroyers during the resolution of the battle.
All of those scenes are small enough that I wouldn’t mind writing them wholesale; I can see a lot of them in my head already. Hux taking Pryde’s place, and the Star Destroyer being blown up by Finn leading the defecting stormtroopers, all works well, and retains the overall shape and structure of what’s already there. I don’t think Hux should order the ship to self-destruct, though; that gives him too much agency in his own demise, whereas he should, as you point out, reap what he sowed from his beloved stormtrooper army.
- During the celebration montage at the Resistance base, you could replace the awkward Lando/Jannah interaction with Jannah greeting the newly defected troopers. You could have an interaction like this:
Jannah: I’m Jannah. What’s your name?
Stormtrooper: TZ-359
Jannah: No, your real name.
Stormtrooper: I don’t know…
Jannah: Well, let’s find out.
While there definitely would be some brand new tidbits with the stormtrooper rebellion stuff, I feel like a lot of this would allow you to keep the same scenes, technically, but you’re just swapping out characters and dialogue.
The novel expands on the First Order kidnapping children a few times throughout, giving some setup that was missing from the film that pays off with the Lando-and-Jannah interaction. So I’m currently planning to leave that in there. However, it’s certainly an awkwardly written conversation (who asks where someone is from in that context? That’s not how real human beings interact), so combining that scene with one of the newly defected stormtroopers having those kinds of conversations actually dovetails really nicely.