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The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 444

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I think the dialogue discussions are interesting, but could be moved over to the General thread, rather than all of these discussions happening on Ascendant in particular. Especially since they’re more speculative, rather than serving some goal that has already been set for Ascendant.

I actually went back through parts of the film recently and took some notes regarding potential dialogue changes, so I’d be interested in joining the discussion over on that thread.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

https://youtu.be/7ZPMW9xCZdk

It’s a great idea to convey that the helmet is saved, but with this new line most of Kylo’s anger is lost from the original.

Edit: Oops! Just saw RogueLeader’s post! Let’s drop the discussion.

George Lucas was the first Star Wars fan-editor.

My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones!

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I’m not saying drop it really! Let’s just move it over to the general thread.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

I said this before, but I really dislike the idea of removing anything else from the movie at this point. Much more interested in additions/changes.

RogueLeader said:

I think the dialogue discussions are interesting, but could be moved over to the General thread, rather than all of these discussions happening on Ascendant in particular. Especially since their more speculative, rather than serving some goal that has already been set for Ascendant.

Agree, not trying to be a Debbie Downer.

Save the Sebastian Shaw Ghost! Save the dream…!

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I’d still like to hear Antonio and Hal’s opinion on what I posted. But yeah, I’m going to respond to Chase’s comment in the other thread.

Exsqueeze me.

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RogueLeader said:

I think the dialogue discussions are interesting, but could be moved over to the General thread, rather than all of these discussions happening on Ascendant in particular. Especially since their more speculative, rather than serving some goal that has already been set for Ascendant.

I actually went back through parts of the film recently and took some notes regarding potential dialogue changes, so I’d be interested in joining the discussion over on that thread.

Good idea.

Anyways I was thinking of cutting Rey’s fourth line. What do we think of that?

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Bad idea. Rey’s fourth line is essential to the-

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“Nothing’s impossible” - Rey’s fourth line

EDIT: Funnily enough, Hal already shaved off half of the line: “I’m gonna run the training course.”

Exsqueeze me.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

“Nothing’s impossible” - Rey’s fourth line

But some things in the SW universe are canonically impossible, so to bring TROS into line with greater canon, Rey’s fourth line has to go.

We should probably move this discussion over to the Rise of Skywalker: Rey’s Fourth Line Removal discussion thread, though.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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Okay let’s not get mean.

George Lucas was the first Star Wars fan-editor.

My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones!

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(Just to make fun of myself a little)

Three days from now, on the Rise of Skywalker: Rey’s Fourth Line Removal discussion thread.

RogueLeader: Guys, this discussion about removing Rey’s FIFTH line is interesting and all, but it is not really relevant to discussion on the fourth line, so I think we should move this discussion to the Rise of Skywalker: Rey’s Fifth Line Removal Discussion thread.

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“BB-8, I’m so sorry.” (cues the song I’m So Sorry from ROTS).

Exsqueeze me.

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Can I point out the irony in how making jokes about people cluttering threads with ideas clutters threads just as much as suggesting legitimate ideas does, regardless of whether or not they’re being posted in the right place.

George Lucas was the first Star Wars fan-editor.

My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones!

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Chase Adams said:

Can I point out the irony in how making jokes about people cluttering threads with ideas clutters threads just as much as suggesting legitimate ideas does, regardless of whether or not they’re being posted in the right place.

Shhh I was trying to drag this out for as long as possible to make that exact point. 😉

I’ve actually said this in the past before but people got triggered at me.

Exsqueeze me.

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RogueLeader said:

You’re right. Sorry, just having some fun!

You’re good, no big deal! 👍

The last thing I want is to get into another fight in this thread, I’ve been consciously making an effort to improve my attitude since then. 😃

George Lucas was the first Star Wars fan-editor.

My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones!

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I agree. Let’s try to seed ideas that aren’t in service to an already established Ascendant goal to the general thread. I promise I will still see it there.

To comment on the recent idea from JJB here: I don’t see the point of making a change to Kylo’s line, and it drains all feeling from it. I don’t think so.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Okie doke, just to address line changes that have already been brought up for Ascendant (but yeah, for sure, we can suggest new line changes in the other thread):

RogueLeader said:

I think someone already mentioned it, but I love how Rey says regarding the dagger, “Horrible things have happened with this.” While in her other hand she holds a lightsaber that literally slaughtered everyone in the Jedi Temple and killed a room full of children.

I like the dialogue change btw.

I’ve removed Rey’s line. Personally I’m not bothered by this one so much either way (I guess I’ve finally found my breaking point for “stupid, but not movie-breakingly stupid”), but I present this so that others can weigh in:

https://streamable.com/g624m1


Peonthegrate said:

sherlockpotter said:

Getting away from huge, controversial lore changes for a hot minute (God, at least I hope I am. I don’t even know anymore)…

Hal 9000 said:

I like the idea of moving Rey’s death forward, however, aside from the seemingly large task of musical score, I’d hate to break it apart from Finn’s reaction. With what you suggest I imagine chuckling that Finn is sensing he’s once again been put in the friend zone in favor of Kylo Ren. Like he’s saying “Oh no, not this guy again. Get away from her why don’tcha.”

Yeah, so…I kinda took a stab at this.

I’m definitely open to feedback on the audio transitions - that first one especially is pretty tricky. Hal, do you think the cutaways to Finn work in this new context?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jrxdxU_SxgbNxK-uUdLh1qyyg5tKn3-_/view?usp=sharing

Changes:

  • Pushing Rey’s death forward to immediately after Palpatine dies, both so that it doesn’t feel like she just drops dead randomly, and also to extend the tension before her resurrection for longer than 30 seconds because I still think tension is important, darn it
  • Cutting directly to Rey’s corpse after Finn and Jannah blow up Pryde’s ship
  • Reinserted Finn sensing Rey, but moved backwards to when Ben finds her body. My hope is that their reactions compliment one another.
  • Removed the kiss. I know Hal said in his commentary track that he’s not particularly interested in this change; but I figured I might as well practice cutting it for my own benefit, since I was rearranging the music in this scene anyway.

Also, I want to know…what music editor saw these shots and was like, “You know what one word describes all of this? Peaceful.” What a fecking wackadoo.

Really really like this. I do think trimming away the lando being all giddy with chewie scene before they save Finn and his daughter would improve it even further though.

I’ve done a version of this as well. I tried to be really clever and hide the cut mid-camera whip; but if that doesn’t work, it’s definitely doable to just cut the exterior shot of Poe’s X-Wing as well, and go right to the Falcon swooping in.

I’ve also touched up a couple of the audio transitions. Hal, does something about it still not sit right by you? And if so, is there any way we can fix that? (Like I said, I just cut the kiss for my own benefit. If you still want them to make out, you do you.)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NJW8hX-_ZMtr-aBP8vn_ntPNmKW99GID/view?usp=sharing


Also, I suggested a while back - and I don’t think anyone responded one way or the other - another possible alternative for “Leia sensed the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path.” What if we cropped it to “Leia sensed her son at the end of her Jedi path”? It’s the same double-meaning kind of thing as “the birth of her son” that was originally pitched, but now the secondary meaning is that, when Leia becomes one with the Force, Ben will be there (in the Force) waiting for her.

We wouldn’t even need to splice any extra voice lines; just do some careful audio trimming.

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Replying here to something from the general thread because it’s relevant and something to consider for this project.

RogueLeader said:

Here are some of the ideas I had written down.

Some thoughts on the Kijimi sequence: Kijimi in Revolt, 3PO’s Irreversible Sacrifice, and Poe’s Past.

  • Add details to Kijimi to establish that it is revolting.
  • Add graffiti to one of the walls of the Kijimi streets. Rebel symbol, crossed-out stormtrooper helmet, or Luke posing like the original Star Wars poster, with lightsaber overhead.
  • While they’re sneaking around, add civilian protest shouts in the distance, maybe something like, “For Skywalker!” Maybe then we could hear blaster shots or an explosion.

Do we have any concept art or anything for the graffiti that was to be painted on Coruscant for DOTF? Perhaps simply (ha!) tracking and comping that onto some wall someplace could be a nice hint at a suppressed sense of rebellion. (Can’t tell from memory but maybe the wall Poe is up against during some of the long shot of him scouting the area after landing on Kijimi.)

RogueLeader said:

Making the Dagger an Ancient Artifact

  • In order to make the dagger distinctly ancient, redub Red-Eyed 3PO to give a new translation of the dagger. Instead of giving the exact coordinates, the new translation instructs the wielder to hold the dagger and embrace the darkness it holds. If they accept this “test”, the dagger will show them the way.
  • Cut Finn saying, “The Endor system? Isn’t that where the last war ended?” This will be pushed to later. They don’t have time to react to the translation, because the First Order shows up.
  • After Rey senses the dagger on the ship, cut Poe asking why they need it, and Rey saying, “A feeling.” The new translation makes it clear that they need the dagger to find the Wayfinder.
  • When Rey picks up the dagger and stares at it, she begins hearing whispers/screams and eventually sees a quick glimpse of the Death Star ruins. Kylo Ren interrupts her right after this moment. (This would tie in well to the whispers guiding her to vault on the Death Star, as Ascendant currently has it.)
  • At the beginning of the scene with Rey and Finn fixing the Falcon, add a part of Finn’s earlier line, “The Endor system? Where the last war ended?” (Either sentence, both likely won’t fit). Rey continues “All that matters is finding the Wayfinder. Finding Exegol.” Adding the line here helps clarify that Rey told them about her vision of the Death Star after they regrouped, and now they are heading there.

That dagger redub idea is great! You seem to have thought of its implications and addressed these. It’d help sell the mystical dagger idea for sure. I’m sure someone around here could record and process the lines. It won’t be authentic Anthony Daniels, though of course it was distinctly different from his usual voice. I would say ideally someone could do a fair impression of 3PO’s Sith voice and process it, matching the tone and substance of the original performance. (Attempt to match it but it need not be perfect since it’d be the only occurrence of the voice.) It’d be a tough job, though, because the audience’s ears will perk up to really take in the unique moment and attend closely to the delivery and sound design.

But man, that could be glorious.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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To be honest I didn’t realize the Sith voice was still Anthony Daniels. At the very least, I think it sounds distinct that if we were to replace it, it wouldn’t be super noticeable. Also, since we’ve never seen Red-Eye 3PO before, we don’t really know the rules for this situation. Perhaps it could be a more baseline robotic voice, devoid of any humanity, before the 3PO personality is reinstalled.

Awesome, Faraday! Faraday can try copying the Sith voice as close as possible, and if that doesn’t work, maybe we could just go with a more robotic filter or AI generated voice. I’ll try to write something up and send it to you, Faraday. Though if others have some ideas feel free to shout it out.

sherlock, could you see about moving Finn’s line about Endor to the part where Finn and Rey are working on the Falcon? If anything, maybe we could hear the beginning of Finn’s like while the camera is still in the cockpit with Poe and Chewie, like we’re doing a J-cut. The whole line doesn’t have to be used. Just whatever fits and still makes sense.

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sherlockpotter said:

I’ve removed Rey’s line. Personally I’m not bothered by this one so much either way (I guess I’ve finally found my breaking point for “stupid, but not movie-breakingly stupid”), but I present this so that others can weigh in:

https://streamable.com/g624m1

Removing Rey’s line actually gives a bigger focus to the whispers, perhaps they could be amped up, In fact… maybe the whole concept of Rey hearing her mum’s scream when near the dagger could be axed from the two scenes it appears in, in favor of focusing on her hearing sith whispers instead.

The second time we hear the ‘scream’ is in Kylo’s quarters, where she looks worriedly at the dagger. We could cut before she says “no” and replace the screams of lil’ Rey and momma Rey with more, perhaps louder whispers. This would offer a better setup for the change on the Death Star II and the “only this blade tells”, if we focus on the dagger constantly reaching out and talking to Rey. The idea of the dark side reaching out to Rey, culminating in her following that voice in the DSII would be a really nice way to convey her descent to the dark, and it would be a better/smarter parallel to TFA instead of a lame repeat of hearing someone screaming “no!”.

I’m not a fan of trimming 3PO though, how would he know the dagger is the clue Luke was looking for if he doesn’t know what it says?

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Burbin said:

sherlockpotter said:

I’ve removed Rey’s line. Personally I’m not bothered by this one so much either way (I guess I’ve finally found my breaking point for “stupid, but not movie-breakingly stupid”), but I present this so that others can weigh in:

https://streamable.com/g624m1

Removing Rey’s line actually gives a bigger focus to the whispers, perhaps they could be amped up, In fact… maybe the whole concept of Rey hearing her mum’s scream when near the dagger could be axed from the two scenes it appears in, in favor of focusing on her hearing sith whispers instead.

The second time we hear the ‘scream’ is in Kylo’s quarters, where she looks worriedly at the dagger. We could cut before she says “no” and replace the screams of lil’ Rey and momma Rey with more, perhaps louder whispers. This would offer a better setup for the change on the Death Star II and the “only this blade tells”, if we focus on the dagger constantly reaching out and talking to Rey. The idea of the dark side reaching out to Rey, culminating in her following that voice in the DSII would be a really nice way to convey her descent to the dark, and it would be a better/smarter parallel to TFA instead of a lame repeat of hearing someone screaming “no!”.

I’m not a fan of trimming 3PO though, how would he know the dagger is the clue Luke was looking for if he doesn’t know what it says?

He recognized the language as “the runic language of the Sith”; so, on a quest to find a Sith artifact, he would probably infer that a dagger covered in Sith-iness is relevant. Sith Wayfinder…Sith Runes…slap a blue paw print on that sucker, and you’ve got yourself a clue.

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RogueLeader said:

sherlock, could you see about moving Finn’s line about Endor to the part where Finn and Rey are working on the Falcon? If anything, maybe we could hear the beginning of Finn’s like while the camera is still in the cockpit with Poe and Chewie, like we’re doing a J-cut. The whole line doesn’t have to be used. Just whatever fits and still makes sense.

I am honored to have been chosen for this task! lol I didn’t spend too long on mixing, but here’s a rough test:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/184g4AqJx73cGdEvEOuSMQo7mc1vIJczA/view?usp=sharing

A few thoughts I had while working on this:

  • The timing is very tight. Ideally, I’d want to let the scene breathe more; but I think that the added benefit of reworking the dagger concept would probably be worth that price.
  • There’s not really enough room in Poe’s scene to begin the dialogue there.
  • There’s a slight bit of music still when he says “The Endor System?” Hopefully it just sounds like some equipment humming away?
  • It occurred to me that this would be a good opportunity for Finn to sort of call her out a little for using the dagger, to emphasize the “light” side of her inner conflict. The angel on her shoulder, as it were. Plus, it feels like it flows naturally into Rey’s “Shut up, boy. We have work to do.” response. (I never noticed how out of place her response feels in the original cut. Because it does feel like she’s responding to a line that’s not there. Thank you for ruining yet another scene in this movie for me.)
  • Ideally, I wanted Finn to say something like “Endor? How do you know?” But neither of Finn’s "How do you know…"s felt like they fit tonally. So I tried popping in a line from earlier in the film - “Are you sure?” How do you feel about that?

Also, this may also be taking the idea too far, but what if, right before submitting to the Dagger and seeing Endor, Rey’s eyes change color to help illustrate that she’s going to the Dark? https://i.imgur.com/WAH1poF.png

That may be stupid. It’s way too late at night for me to be working on this.

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Might be neat if evil vampire Rey had the Sith eyes.

Edit: Something like this mockup; or maybe subtler. Or even more vampiric.

Then again, making vision Rey even more obviously evil just sort of reinforces the general idea that Rey isn’t actually tempted towards the dark side at all. It’d have been more compelling, in my opinion, if there was something in that “cave” that actually appealed to her in some way. Alas.

Edit 2:
EBSynth test. Unfortunately it squishes the pupils around so I’d have to do those manually, I think. Still, plausible if desired.