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The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (Released) — Page 428

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Wonderful idea and I really want it to work, though it doesn’t quite.

Just like Carrie Fisher in TROS!

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hal 9000 said:

Just like Carrie Fisher in TROS!

So why not add more fuel to the fire of uncanny valley if in turn you strangely enough get a more personable portrayal of Leia?

It’s definitely not for everybody, so I suppose it’s best to not be included. I just know that the first thing I’ll do when I get v2 is slide a couple of these lines in there for myself. Guess I should learn some better audio implementation tactics in the meantime.

It’s kinda like the added Knights of Ren lines. Some people like them (me) and others don’t.

Exsqueeze me.

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I agree with Hal on this one. I love the idea - honestly, “There’s been a lot of that, lately” comes very close to working for me - but in all of these clips, Carrie’s tone just sounds too…flippant? Like, the tone of the conversation is supposed to be a little on the dour side, and then here comes those cheery-sounding lines, and it just…clashes. I’d be interested in exploring other suggestions though, especially in the wide shot.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Is the loudness of a line supposed to scale with where the camera is in comparison to the character? Because my thinking was that for the first two lines the camera was further away from her, while the final was much closer to her face.

So in real life, yeah; the further you (i.e. the camera) are from someone, the softer their voice will be. But filmmaking is a little different. In a film, it’s more important that the sound be at an even, easy-to-hear level, so that it can transition seamlessly between cuts. That’s what feels more “natural” when watching a movie. So, you’ll find that if a scene is really windy or rainy, you should still be able to hear the character’s voices more clearly than you would be able to in real life.

As an example, take a look at this clip that I did to correct Poe saying that the ships will only be stuck on Exegol “for a few minutes” without the Nav Tower. (Side note: Seriously, we’re not even going to use this one? The line completely contradicts an essential plot element in this very movie!) Pay attention to the shots compared to the volume of the dialogue: It opens with a wide shot, zooms in to a medium shot, cuts to directly next to Poe, another medium, a wide…and it’s all the same volume throughout.

Just like good video editing, good audio editing should be completely seamless. That’s why so much dialogue is (re)done in ADR.

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I’m like 99% sure that Carrie was having a hilarious time during the recording session for her lines on that game and it does show through. There are some death sounds in here that are just so funny.

I’m just willing to overlook it and also rationalize it as Leia not understanding that Rey wasn’t in a good mood at first. Thus the tone shift.

Exsqueeze me.

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Well hey, I see what you mean. Earlier I read into it more subtlety than it really seems it has. Merely removing “for just minutes” could indeed streamline things. They don’t follow up on this really, unless it’s when Poe says “this is our last chance we gotta hit those cannons now!”
What’s he mean by “just minutes”? That after that the ships will be oriented again?

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

I’m like 99% sure that Carrie was having a hilarious time during the recording session for her lines on that game and it does show through. There are some death sounds in here that are just so funny.

I’m just willing to overlook it and also rationalize it as Leia not understanding that Rey wasn’t in a good mood at first. Thus the tone shift.

Lemme listen again in a day and hear it again fresh. Again, it feels sublime on paper.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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 (Edited)

I also feel like removing the “for a few minutes” is a good idea. But to be honest I don’t remember how the original dialogue went. I’ll need to rewatch it.

And to be honest Hal, I feel like the only line that could work in an edit like yours is the “there’s been a lot of that lately”. The rest is ever so slightly out of place imo.

EDIT: Yes, I would highly recommend removing “for just minutes”. I didn’t pay enough attention to the scene before. Nice catch Sherlock!

Exsqueeze me.

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I don’t like it, I don’t agree with it, but I accept it.

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Am I making Carrie Fisher’s ghost proud?”
Well, are ya, punk?

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Hal 9000 said:

Well hey, I see what you mean. Earlier I read into it more subtlety than it really seems it has. Merely removing “for just minutes” could indeed streamline things. They don’t follow up on this really, unless it’s when Poe says “this is our last chance we gotta hit those cannons now!”
What’s he mean by “just minutes”? That after that the ships will be oriented again?

Christ almighty, this script really has no idea what it’s doing, does it? I mean, yeah, that was my takeaway from “just minutes.” But it doesn’t make sense, because the only thing “uniting” the Sith Fleet is the navigation signal, and then once the signal is knocked out the Rebels leave and all of the Sith ships crash, but there’s still another nav tower on the ground, and, and I just…aaaahhhhh!!

What if we also trim Poe’s second line (after the lightning storm stops) to “I’m back on. This is our chance, we gotta hit those cannons now”? It’s an ADR line anyway, so it should be pretty easy to do.

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 (Edited)

Secret good cuts:

sade1212 said:
With Justice League, the BTS issues were well-known, obvious, and corroborated by the actors. The “JJ cut” idea is just a desperate attempt to apply that same concept to this movie, even though TROS didn’t bring in a second director for reshoots or anything similar.

Even then, the “Snyder cut” wasn’t some finished thing they left in the back room, it was a thing they agreed to create after a bunch of people yelled at them. The hashtag was “release the Snyder cut”, not “grab Snyder and have him recreate his vision for the movie that was never actually realized in the original”. The entire idea of a secret good version of a thing that turned out bad is a farce and totally ignores how even troubled productions of films play out. Plus, exactly like Justice League, a secret longer version of Rise of Skywalker would probably be still bad, because the biggest problems with bad media is usually never that there just isn’t enough of it. Even if you grabbed JJ and told him to make the movie again, would he make nearly the amount of changes the people here have? Nope, so the movie’s still not really very good.

Finn:

I think that if anything is to be done with Finn’s force-sensitivity, it should be making it more overt. If this cut had more Adywan-style “shoot new footage of stuff”, I’d have him levitate something in his hands, maybe the Falcon’s dice, while talking to Jannah in their little scene. Rescoring, finagling a bit with the dialogue there and using his “a feeling” line from the Exegol battle could bring it to at least resembling a character moment, though you’d obviously then have to do something about that battle scene itself. This is only vague ideas that I’ve seen in dreams, but the real failure of the whole plotline is that the movie doesn’t sell the audience on it. I didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about when he said “I never told you” the first time and it wasn’t totally clear to me that the force was actually what was going on in the theater.

Line changes:

“We have to keep…” sounds too energetic from Leia in that moment. Maybe stretching out the exchange so it’s not so abrupt could help, but her tone isn’t right. Appending other words to it won’t help. Rey’s “No” is the same way. “That’s the important stuff” suffers similarly, but it sounds more like Leia is about to transition into “now we have to take care of this thing” which she never gets around to, and I want to know that that thing is. “Well” is just overall insubstantial. “There’s been a lot of that lately” is okay.

Getting rid of the nonsense time limit is good.

Watch Adventure Time

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 (Edited)

What’s the issue with the “for just minutes” line?? I think it’s pretty straightforward:

The original plan is to disable the tower on the ground, when they reach Exegol Pride switches the signal to the command ship, so the plan changes to disable the tower on the ship, they succeed in disabling it, which leaves the ships stuck “for just minutes” (Poe reiterates this by saying “Nav signal’s down, but not for long!”), but Finn decides to take the whole ship down, which leaves the fleet stuck for good.

Of course there’s still the tower on the ground someone could fire back up, but at that point there’s a whole galaxy of ships attacking the Sith Fleet on their bright red weak point so it’s safe to say “they’re toast”. The whole fleet is destoryed, and the people who built it are crushed by rocks, so it’s all taken care of. The whole thing is kinda dumb, but if we removed all the dumb things in this movie we’d be left with nothing. In this case removing the line would turn the plan into a “we do this one thing and we win, period.” wich would massively lower the stakes of the Exegol assault. Instead the plan is to stall the ships from leaving Exegol long enough for Lando to rile up ‘the galaxy’ to come and take them down.

Disabling the navigation systems is not the main goal or the win condition, the plan was always to temporairly delay the Final Order. In fact their “victory” in disabling the tower happens during the ‘lowest point’ in the battle, since “no one is coming to help them”.

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All right, that makes sense when you lay it out like that. That’s the sort of subtlety I would hate to remove for no reason, even if it’s muddy as presented. The whole movie is a series of things happening quickly that you’re following along with practically jogging.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Thinking about that dumbass Sith fleet.

Seems like the best way to smooth things over would’ve been to portray the FO as crippled, desperate, and scrappy in TLJ. (There could’ve been a dangerous power vacuum.) Then they stood to benefit from an actual fleet in TROS.

The FO was already comically overpowered in TLJ, so it makes little sense to suggest their resources would be increased by a factor of ten thousand. This is compounded by the idea that random monk people on a hidden wasteland built all this (tens of thousands of ships identical to Imperial design) by hand over 30 years out of crap smuggled in from their pockets.

In our retelling, it’s a stashed Imperial fleet, which really can’t be all that large. But there’s just about no way to remove the idea that the FO is beholden to it, or drastically reduce their power in TLJ.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

Here is the version I would prefer you to watch tomorrow Hal (only includes the line I feel is the most flawless):

https://youtu.be/UAuBBKQzuTQ
https://drive.google.com/file/d/13qfrRPUpAa6qRl6Tb8k4Npc2IAD-KlGt/view?usp=sharing

Hey Jar Jar,

May I suggest you try pitching down her Lego lines? Not only would it bring a little bass into her voice, it would also make her tone a little less chipper I think. That plus a little EQ might get you closer.

Here’s a quick test:
https://vimeo.com/526096739
pw: fanedit

Not sure if it works enough though?

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“That’s the important stuff” still sounds abrupt and bad, but “there’s been a lot of that” comes across better.

Watch Adventure Time

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poppasketti said:

Jar Jar Bricks said:

Here is the version I would prefer you to watch tomorrow Hal (only includes the line I feel is the most flawless):

https://youtu.be/UAuBBKQzuTQ
https://drive.google.com/file/d/13qfrRPUpAa6qRl6Tb8k4Npc2IAD-KlGt/view?usp=sharing

Hey Jar Jar,

May I suggest you try pitching down her Lego lines? Not only would it bring a little bass into her voice, it would also make her tone a little less chipper I think. That plus a little EQ might get you closer.

Here’s a quick test:
https://vimeo.com/526096739
pw: fanedit

Not sure if it works enough though?

I’ve just tried adding some pitch correction, stretching and stereoizing - still doesn’t sound ideal but much closer:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1byODuhXB9iQY4JYRQCeGkZBVGlqqDwJo/view?usp=sharing

I can try making it even better if it is indeed going to end up in V2.

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I like the idea of “there’s been a lot of that lately” since it better fleshes out that Rey has been struggling for a while, but the change in Leia’s tone between the lines (even with the pitch down) is quite jarring. She goes from slightly admonishing and confident in her tone to much more consoling and breathy.

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 (Edited)

With the Leia lines … they still really stick out. I like the idea, don’t get me wrong. It would be great to even add one line … but its gotta be seamless which may or may not be possible also due to her tone, it doesn’t really match the scene/mood.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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I would like to see if “Tell me” would feel natural in that wide shot.

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Yeah, I agree. Not quite working, especially the first line. “Tell me” would be nice.

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The problem with “Tell me” is that you’re just taking a line from one scene and moving it to another. If you move it over, then Leia only says the word “No” in her wayfinder conversation with Rey. That’s just laughably bad imo.

Poppa, could you send me just the “lately” line you adjusted? I feel it sounds great, but I guess I have a different pair of ears than everyone else.

At this point I would be more interested in removing the awkward staring in that wayfinder scene.

Exsqueeze me.

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Burbin said:

What’s the issue with the “for just minutes” line?? I think it’s pretty straightforward:

The original plan is to disable the tower on the ground, when they reach Exegol Pride switches the signal to the command ship, so the plan changes to disable the tower on the ship, they succeed in disabling it, which leaves the ships stuck “for just minutes” (Poe reiterates this by saying “Nav signal’s down, but not for long!”), but Finn decides to take the whole ship down, which leaves the fleet stuck for good.

Of course there’s still the tower on the ground someone could fire back up, but at that point there’s a whole galaxy of ships attacking the Sith Fleet on their bright red weak point so it’s safe to say “they’re toast”. The whole fleet is destoryed, and the people who built it are crushed by rocks, so it’s all taken care of. The whole thing is kinda dumb, but if we removed all the dumb things in this movie we’d be left with nothing. In this case removing the line would turn the plan into a “we do this one thing and we win, period.” wich would massively lower the stakes of the Exegol assault. Instead the plan is to stall the ships from leaving Exegol long enough for Lando to rile up ‘the galaxy’ to come and take them down.

Disabling the navigation systems is not the main goal or the win condition, the plan was always to temporairly delay the Final Order. In fact their “victory” in disabling the tower happens during the ‘lowest point’ in the battle, since “no one is coming to help them”.

That doesn’t make sense though. You’re saying that the entire Sith Fleet is stuck for good because “Finn decides to take the whole [command] ship down.” When was it established that knocking out the command ship would cause a chain reaction and blow up the entire 10,000+ ship fleet? If knocking out the command ship will cripple the entire fleet, why do they even care about the nav tower? Why don’t they go after the command ship in the first place? It’s not like the nav tower is actually a shield generator that’s protecting the command ship, because they establish that “shields don’t work in Exegol’s atmosphere.” And how would that chain reaction work out logistically anyway? Is every ship connected directly to the command ship’s computer? And if so, what do they need the damn nav tower for??

The film makes it very clear that there’s only thing that unites the Sith Fleet - the nav tower signal. You take that out, the ships can’t leave the planet. The command ship isn’t even mentioned - not in the pre-mission briefing when they’re expositing all of this nonsense, not when they arrive on the planet - until it becomes the source of the navigation signal.

And if we ignore all of that and stick with the “command ship” theory anyway, that means we’re trying to do the entire battle sequence without setting up the plan, the goal, the plot, or the stakes. Hal, that’s not “subtlety”; that’s just sloppy writing. We can avoid all of this confusion if we just cut four words from the script. Four words!