Death Bed: The Bed That Eats - 1977 - 5/10
How’d I miss this gobbler? I was dating Zelda at this point, and surely this would have screened at the Nuart or Reseda or Victory drive-in. Or my brother would have posted me a copy over the years. Nope.
Anyway, per title above, inside an abandoned manor lurks a huge four-poster that eats folks.
And not just humans! First couple arrives for a bit of buckle bouncing.
The man brings food for stamina: apple, tangerine, Ripple, and a bucket of chicken.
While the man navigates her brassier, the bed wolfs down that fried chicken.
The narrator of the story is trapped within a painting.
As he relates how the bed came to be cursed, victims are chomped. Or he carries on a one-sided conversation with the bed, who does little more than chuckle, moan and chew noisily.
Sure enough, this movie is desperately bad, and yet it is weirdly original, so some points there.
This is god awful slow, however, and our thespians have the acting chops of a bag of soggy pork rinds.
Speaking of actors, in the credits I saw “Dave Marsh” as the soul trapped in the painting and went, “No way!”
I looked it up. Same Dave Marsh who wrote for Rolling Stone, Creem, Village Voice, as well as editor of the first and BEST edition of The Rolling Stone Record Guide, the red one!