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Your favorite Hollywood excuse for 2005's crappy box office returns

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The list of excuses from Hollywood execs is as follows:

1) The movies stink
2) There's been no Passion of the Christ
3) What slump? DVD sales are huge
4) Men aren't going to the movies
5) It's cyclical
I'd like a qui-gon jinn please with an Obi-Wan to go.

Red heads ROCK. Blondes do not rock. Nuff said.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v72/greencapt/hansolovsindy.jpg
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6) There's a recession
7) Gas costs too much

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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I like the excuse from The Island: it's not our fault the actors sucked!

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

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cost.

“Always loved Vader’s wordless self sacrifice. Another shitty, clueless, revision like Greedo and young Anakin’s ghost. What a fucking shame.” -Simon Pegg.

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1- Too much crap on theaters.
2- Opposed to what movie studios think, people are not getting dumber, although their films are.
3- DVD players got cheaper, most people now can afford a cheap DVD player.
4- People are too busy to go to the movie theaters.
5- Internet is taking away young audiences from TV and movies - they rather play Doom than watch it.
6- Tickets are too expensive... And have you tried buying popcorn nowadays? What happened to the 50 cent popcorn bag?
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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My two would be:

-The movies suck (at least 90% of them)

-The theater-going experience is a dreadful one , with cellphones, screen talkers, crying babies, and other dimwits and whathaveyou.
40,000 million notches away
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Don't forget one of Hollywood's favorite excuses for their bad sales: Internet Piracy.
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Originally posted by: Windexed
My two would be:

-The movies suck (at least 90% of them)

-The theater-going experience is a dreadful one , with cellphones, screen talkers, crying babies, and other dimwits and whathaveyou.


Oh yeah, I know all abou that last one having worked in a theater as an usher. Customers really suck these days. Not to mention that prices are so goddamn high these days. Most people say they wouldn't mind going to the movies more often it wasn't so damn expensive.
I'd like a qui-gon jinn please with an Obi-Wan to go.

Red heads ROCK. Blondes do not rock. Nuff said.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v72/greencapt/hansolovsindy.jpg
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Originally posted by: GundarkHunter
I like the excuse from The Island: it's not our fault the actors sucked!


Yeah, I liked that one, too.

But I also like how they still blame rampant piracy. So make your movie worth watching and people will see it on the big screen. People watch movies on the net because they don't feel they are worth spending the money on them. Don't go greenlighting every God-forsaken pseudo quasi demi blockbuster script that comes across your desk.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
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Kevin A
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Originally posted by: Bossk
Originally posted by: GundarkHunter
I like the excuse from The Island: it's not our fault the actors sucked!


Yeah, I liked that one, too.

But I also like how they still blame rampant piracy. So make your movie worth watching and people will see it on the big screen. People watch movies on the net because they don't feel they are worth spending the money on them. Don't go greenlighting every God-forsaken pseudo quasi demi blockbuster script that comes across your desk.


LIKE MINDS.

"I'VE GROWN TIRED OF ASKING, SO THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME..."
The Mangler Bros. Psycho Dayv Armchaireviews Notes on Suicide

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If I feel a movie is good enough to be bought, I do. I had seen Fight Club several times and I bought the DVD nonetheless. People buy DVDs. Internet movie piracy only happens for movies that are unavailable on their country, like "Battle Royale". The piracy is more common here in Brazil through two other factors: movies being delayed and unproperly distributed ("Kill Bil vol 1" was delayed for almost an year and shown in few screens due to admitted incompetence by the local distributor, Woody Allen films usually take 1 to 2 years to get here, and shown on 5 screens over 2 weeks), or the price of DVDs lately. A good DVD may cost up to R$45.00 (fourty five reais), in a country where the minimum monthly wage is less than R$300.00. This is due to over-taxation of electronic products such as videogames and DVDs.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Ric, I don't agree with you entirely. I've got friends who pirate movies because they're too cheap to buy the actual DVDs. I know dozens of people like this. Maybe more.

I would like to think that the reason for piracy would be unavailability, but that's just not the case.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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A. People don't go to movies because they're tired of inner-city morons bringing their 1 year old to an R-Rated movie and letting them scream

B. Farenheit 9/11 pissed off too many people

C. The movies suck (see above)

D. We're tired of the following formulaic cliche crap in our movies: car chases, explosions seen blocks away by shooting a gas tank with a bb-gun, crippled gay-black police captain who's always yelling at his idiot white cops who don't play by the rules, latina tough-girl who weighs 75lbs soaking wet who can kick any man's a## with her bare hands, conservative bashing, military bashing, evil corporations, government cover-ups, etc etc etc.

E. I keep seeing more and more commercials, yet my ticket prices are continuing to rise
Nemo me impune lacessit

http://ttrim.blogspot.com
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Originally posted by: Bossk
Ric, I don't agree with you entirely. I've got friends who pirate movies because they're too cheap to buy the actual DVDs. I know dozens of people like this. Maybe more.

I would like to think that the reason for piracy would be unavailability, but that's just not the case.


Well, for some reason, I always thought that piracy due to prices were a problem of second and third world countries, specially China and Brazil, not in the US. Now, DVDs are very high priced if you compare to prices of other stuff in Brazil. I also know people who belive that buying bootlegs are better because you're gonna spend R$20.00 less than on the original stuff, but I don't think like this, and this sort of mentality is slowly dropping here, for some cultural and economical reasons. I've never bought a pirate CD or DVD, and I admitt having downloaded films, but only those completely unavailable, like the O-OT or the turkish films (please see my post on general star wars! )
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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A) the boxoffice returns aren't actually crappy.

this year, to date: 7.08 billion
same timeframe last year: 7.6 billion

Keep in mind, last year had Shrek 2, Passion of the Christ and Spider-Man 2 all on top of each other. No one at the beginning of 2004 thought that year was going to be THAT huge. And this year isn't all that disappointing, either.

Oh and not to be too presumptious, but sage?

they're tired of inner-city morons

Farenheit 9/11 pissed off too many people


crippled gay-black police captain who's always yelling at his idiot white cops who don't play by the rules, latina tough-girl who weighs 75lbs soaking wet who can kick any man's a## with her bare hands, conservative bashing,


So, not to put too fine a point on it, but a big budget remake of "Birth of a Nation" wouldn't be all that displeasurable to you?
The Best Show You've Never Heard
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Originally posted by: ricarleite
Well, for some reason, I always thought that piracy due to prices were a problem of second and third world countries, specially China and Brazil, not in the US. Now, DVDs are very high priced if you compare to prices of other stuff in Brazil. I also know people who belive that buying bootlegs are better because you're gonna spend R$20.00 less than on the original stuff, but I don't think like this, and this sort of mentality is slowly dropping here, for some cultural and economical reasons. I've never bought a pirate CD or DVD, and I admitt having downloaded films, but only those completely unavailable, like the O-OT or the turkish films (please see my post on general star wars! )


I'm not saying that they're necessarily too expensive. Just that my friends are excessively cheap.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
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Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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The theater-going experience is a dreadful one , with cellphones, screen talkers, crying babies, and other dimwits and whathaveyou.


The ability to avoid this is one of the few things I actually like about working during the evening. Once summer's over and the kids are back in school, the weekday lunchtime-matinee crowd is terrific. There aren't many people in the theater at all, and most are either alone or in pairs. Everybody's cool and quiet and basically acts like they have some damn sense. I've never once had to shush, stare down, or eviscerate anybody during an early matinee. Friday midnight shows, on the other hand...

As for cheapskatedness leading to piracy, that's my brother-in-law to the letter. He's amassed quite a sizeable collection of homemade discs by copying stuff he picks up through his Blockbuster Movie Pass membership, and he's surprised I haven't done the same. Heck, renting stuff made my wife to decide to collect all the Gilmore Girls season sets. I'm just glad she did it when you could pick up S1 and S2 for $18.88 each.

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1) How were we to know that Catwoman would suck?
2)Human beings are getting stupider
3)The best movies have been niche or poorly marketed
4)Nobody knows who Ra's al Ghul is!
5)The DVD market is skyrocketing, and so is internet piracy!

4

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Originally posted by: Darth Chaltab

4)Nobody knows who Ra's al Ghul is!


I do. at least I know of him. He was in some of the cartoons, so I dont know how true to the comic his character was in the movie vs the comic or in the cartoon vs the comic. But i do know that my knowledge of him made me know what was up (basically) I actually was afraid they dramatically changed his character at first and had him on the wrong side of the fight.


Do agree with most of the reasons stated previously in the thread though. As far as piracy, I think that for the most part if someone would buy it, they still will even with access to the bootlegs. Ive found this in music and movies. I know many people that even though they could get the stuff for free still buy the cds and plenty of people that dont. If your a real movie buff you'll generally buy the actual dvd. I buy dvds, i dont buy cds (as a general thing) Not to say i dont like music, but even before mp3s (or at least i found out about them) i didnt buy music. In truth i didnt buy vhs tapes. but i buy dvds. do i download some titles? yes, but ill end up getting the actual dvd when its released or i have the money for it.

-Darth Simon
Why Anakin really turned to the dark side:
"Anakin, You're father I am" - Yoda
"No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!" - Anakin

0100111001101001011011100110101001100001

*touchy people disclaimer*
some or all of the above comments are partially exaggerated to convey a point, none of the comments are meant as personal attacks on anyone mentioned or reference in the above post
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Originally posted by: ricarleite
If I feel a movie is good enough to be bought, I do. I had seen Fight Club several times and I bought the DVD nonetheless. People buy DVDs. Internet movie piracy only happens for movies that are unavailable on their country, like "Battle Royale". The piracy is more common here in Brazil through two other factors: movies being delayed and unproperly distributed ("Kill Bil vol 1" was delayed for almost an year and shown in few screens due to admitted incompetence by the local distributor, Woody Allen films usually take 1 to 2 years to get here, and shown on 5 screens over 2 weeks), or the price of DVDs lately. A good DVD may cost up to R$45.00 (fourty five reais), in a country where the minimum monthly wage is less than R$300.00. This is due to over-taxation of electronic products such as videogames and DVDs.


What is R$45.00 equal to in american dollars?
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Originally posted by: sean wookie
What is R$45.00 equal to in american dollars?


According to Google, US$19.72.

But the problem is, this is a country where famine is a real problem, where 60% of the people live with US$100 dollars a month or less. Also, you can find a chinese or russian made bootleg easily for US$5.00, I spoted one for ROTS two days before the movied opened! People here don't tend to think that piracy is wrong because it's a crime with no victims, at least no real, tangible victims, they think they are saving R$40.00 and making the billionaire movie industry a bit poor. This mentality is slowly changing, though. The videogame industry is slowly pushing its way to get less taxes and more acceptance between consumers who reject pirate products (such as myself), and the sales of DVDs has been waaaay higher than VHS sale (and back on the VHS era, movie piracy was absolutely non-existent here).

Blaming the piracy for the downfall of the movie business (or, at least, for the lack of profit they actually expected) is totally wrong. There are three main factors involved in this: Hollywood ONLY produces crap, good films are badly distributed on porpouse, and the internet is taking audiences away, NOT through piracy, but because people prefer stay at home and play on their computers and chat and watch dvds instead of going to the movie theater.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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The generation (dare I call us the Star Wars generation) that spent the most disposable income on movies a few years ago is getting older and having kids.

With surging ticket & concession prices, it's becoming less economically feasible to hire a sitter and go to the movies. Especially when the time away from home is being unnecessarily extended by 20 minutes of commercials (!!!) and previews before the movie begins. For those with kids old enough to go to the movies, the ticket & concession prices alone make it a bad deal economically when you can wait four months for the DVD.

Then we have to deal with the idiots in the row behind who are dragging kids too young to a movie (my greatest horror story was sitting next to the couple who brought a toddler to see Jackie Brown) or chatting on their cell phones, disrupting the film for everybody around.

DVD sales are going gangbusters because it lets the entire family watch repeatedly in the comfort of their own home, on their own schedule, in theater-quality sound without those annoying "other people" ruining the experience.

If the theaters wish to get serious about courting people, it all boils down to sacrificing the profit margin in favor of increasing the bottom line. The following suggestions will improve profits if theater owners would have the brains and balls to implement them:

1) Cut matinee prices in half and expect greater than a 100% increase in ticket buyers.
2) Enforce age minimums for non-children's films.
3) Kick out families with disruptive children and kick out anybody who takes a phone call during the film.
4) Make 2-for-1 "Date Deals" for non-peak evenings like Monday and Tuesday.
5) Offer free tickets for parents who bring 1 or more children to a children's movie.
6) Cut the price of concessions. $6.75 for a regular hot dog and a soda is ridiculous. $4.50 for popcorn is insane. Offer a better selection at a reasonable price.

If theater owners did this, would you be more likely to attend? Feel free to copy these suggestions verbatim and send them to your local theater. I'm gonna do that myself.
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
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Originally posted by: sean wookie
What about the lack of originality problem?
I doubt any studio exec would use that as an excuse.

Its a true statement, but you wouldn't really hear it from a studio.

Yes, when we did Barbwire we DID realize it was a really bad knockoff of Casablanca. But we thought Pamela Anderson would make up for it.