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Writing a Fan Edit of the 'ROTS' Novelization (a WIP)

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Started playing with ideas to make a fan edit of the ‘Revenge of the Sith’ novelization.

This OP is going to have to be kind of quick to start off, because I technically have other stuff to do, but I had an itch to discuss a particular line.

On page 160, Anakin says the following line, which is also used in the movie; I have always felt it sounds awkward and barely rolls off the tongue well.

P. 160:

“I wish that were so,” he says, “but the fighting will continue until General Grievous is spare parts.”

The fighting will continue until Gen. Grievous IS spare parts? Not only does it sound awkward, it’s downright unimaginative.

I played around with ideas and decided on this for now.

“I wish that were so,” he says, “but the fighting will continue until General Grievous is sliced and diced into spare parts.”

I feel like using verbs to describe HOW Grievous can become spare parts really gives the line more life.

EDIT:

Other ideas were “reduced to spare parts” and “cut down to spare parts;” also, “blown up into spare parts.”

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In one scene, Obi-Wan asks, “Can you fly a cruiser like this?”

Anakin could say, “I’ve always found flying to be easy; it’s landing that’s a schutta.”

Yeah, I had to research SW curse words and figure out which one could fit.

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There’s a meme of dialog that’s more so from Douglas Adams, not ‘The Clone Wars.’

However, comma, I’d love to pay tribute to Adams by altering it and fitting it into the scene where Anakin and Obi-Wan are caught by ray shields onboard the ‘Invisible Hand.’

Obi-Wan could say, “In times like these, I wish I’d listened to what Master Yoda said.”

Anakin says, “What did he tell you?”

Obi-Wan says, “I don’t know; I didn’t listen.”

EDIT:

Obi-Wan could play it off like he was testing Anakin, making sure he had listened to Yoda.

That could work, because on page 114, Anakin quotes Yoda:

“I say,” he puts in slowly, “patience.”

“Patience?” Obi-Wan lifts an eyebrow. “That’s a plan?”

“You know what Master Yoda says: Patience you must have, until the mud settles and the water becomes clear.”