Sign In

Worst Movies of 2003

Author
Time
I'm not going to quantify this one, since I hope that none of us have had to sit through 10 awful movies this year. Anyhoo, here goes:
1. Bad Boys II-- arguably the most incomprehensible piece of dreck Michael Bay has ever put his name on, and that includes Pearl Harbor
2. Daredevil-- can anyone say "You missed the point?"
3. Freddy vs. Jason-- by-the-numbers slashfest with nothing new or original to add to the genre. Even the remake of TCM was scarier.

Go to it, boys. I want to know what films to avoid.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

Author
Time
1.Hulk - Long. Boring. Bad FX. Pretentious beyond all recognition. The sort of movie that annoying people say they like so they can look smart. Its not deep, its just pseudo-deep. And it makes a mountain out of a molehill. This should of been a 90minute Michael Bay film, lots of action, a bit of subtext and a ton of fun. There is somethign wrong when you have a Hulk movie and he never says "hulk smash".

2.Daredevil - Terrible casting for every character, bad directing, bad music, incoherent action, a terrible injustice to a good comic book, but also just an all aroundbad film

3.Lara Croft Tomb Raider: the cradle of life - terrible. I can't believe I even watched it

4.Paycheck - nothing worse then a good idea gone bad. I knew this movie was in trouble in the first scene where Ben Affleck invents the new breakthrough technology of holographic computer monitors, yet 30seconds earlier, he used a holographic computer monitor that was much more sophisiticated (and clearly an rip off of minority report, which in and of it self was a bad movie) to design said monitor. Also on the list of terrible logic in this film: breaking into the badguys base to destroy his evil machine, only to find that it is already broken. So what does Ben do? He fixes it for no real reason, then tries to destroy it in an overly complicated way.

5. Badboys2 - I kind of liked the first film, but part2 had to be the most immoral movie I've ever seen. And not particularly good at that. Dead girls tits, bodies stuffed with XTC pills being thrown out of (and then run over by trucks), the heros threating a 12 year old with guns just for kicks, blood every where, etc etc. Terrible stuff. This film also contains the best cheezy line of all time: "phase 3, we deploy the cats and iguanas to screw with their motion sensors"
And I dance. And I sing.
And I'm a monkey, in a long line of kings.
Author
Time
1. Daredevil
2. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde
3. The Hulk
4. hmmm... I think I must have effectively blocked out all the rest... nice!
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
There were some real stinkers this year. Two of which were comic films. Gotta get hollywood out of comic films.

1. Daredevil-- Is it just me or does anyone else think that FM should have been involved in this project? Bennifer should not have even been casted as Murdock. Heck he shouldn't even have been considered for the part. Now Matt Damon would have worked. Poor everything in this film. That's including the radar sense effect. If your going to do it that way, you need to understand that everything makes a sound especially in NYC. So he'd be able to see in radar better than we can visually.

2. Hulk-- This film was really dumb. It was a waste of good talent and the editting was downright distracting.

3. BadBoys2-- Just plain stupid. A waste of my eight bucks. It was directed by Micheal Bane, need I say more?

4. Feddy vs. Jason-- Stupid film. Only thing that worked for me was the way they got them both together.

Didn't see Lara Croft or Paycheck. I'm gonna stay waway from both if you don't mind. Ditto for Legally Blonde 2
"Who's scruffy-lookin'?" - Han Solo
"I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself." -sybeman
"You know, putting animals in the microwave is not a good idea. I had to learn that one the hard way." -seanwookie
Author
Time
You're smart for staying away from LB2. Wish I did. So does my wife. I haven't seen second Tomb Raider or second Bad Boys. Also haven't seen Freddy vs. Jason because I just can't see a new Jason film that doesn't have Kane Hodder. Sacrilege.

Already got one for the Worst of 2004 - Win a Date With Tad Hamilton. Blech.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
well i agree with most of your picks on this one... except for Paycheck and Legally Blonde 2 (haven't seen them) however im surprised Tomb Raider was that bad... i actually heard it was much improved over the first one...

another movie that should have made the list was Gigli....
thats like the "showgirls" of 2003 i think...
"Never. I'll never turn to the darkside. You've failed your highness. I am a jedi, like my father before me."
Author
Time
Thankfully I stayed the hell away from that one. Can't call it one of the worst if I haven't seen it. But it's probably a safe assumption.

Luke, you gotta remember that it doesn't take much for a movie to be an improvement over crap. And since the first one was true crap, this one can still be crap and be better than the first. Kinda like the rings of hell. One's worse than another, but they're all still hell.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
I really liked Daredevil. It wasn't as good as Spider-Man but it was a classic comic book movie. I can't wait for the R rated directers cut.
Author
Time
R-Rated Director's Cut? What, is Elektra naked?
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
All I know is that it will be 20 minutes longer and the MPPA has given the new cut an R rating. What they have added I don't know. The new cut will be released in April.
Author
Time
R-rated cut has more violence. Fox wanted a PG-13, and the director was only too happy to oblige. Paycheck does not deserve to be on the worst movies list. I saw it and found it to be a lot of fun; much better than anything else John Woo has directed on this side of the pond.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

Author
Time
sadly not only did I have to see LB2 in the theatre (blame the wife) but there is currently a copy of the dvd sitting on my shelf. Not my choice mind you.
And I dance. And I sing.
And I'm a monkey, in a long line of kings.
Author
Time
I feel your pain. LB2 is not in my house, but I did have to run it when my theatre first opened. I got so sick of Sally Field, lemme tell ya...

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

Author
Time
I saw LB2 at my wife's urging as well. However we don't own it because she hated the movie as much as I did. I did enjoy LB1 though. Cheesy, but watchably cute.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
agreed.

I forgot to add "Bringing down the House" to my list. This movie operates as if Black People and white people have never met, then tries to achieve its laughs with horrible stereotypes of both (but mostly the blacks). How this succeeded as a family comedy is beyond my comprehension.
And I dance. And I sing.
And I'm a monkey, in a long line of kings.
Author
Time
Add that one to my list as well. That movie was horrible. My parents and my brother and his girlfriend loved it for some reason and couldn't understand why Katie and I didn't. Ick.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
yeah it was pretty repugnant, and quite racist IMHO
And I dance. And I sing.
And I'm a monkey, in a long line of kings.
Author
Time
I never really thought of it in racist terms at the time. But, hindsight being 20/20, I can understand what you mean.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
Hulk really was the worst, because it was long, and it was bad but it paraded itself as something deep and so a lot of pretentious people claim its the best superhero film because its got so much depth (which is bull) when this is a very shallow straightforward story told in an extremely overly complicated and silly way. he only thing i found middly amusing was the wacky transitions, but not in a good way, I admire at least what they were going for with those, even if it was horribly miscalulated and distracting.

Like I said before this should of been a 90 minute action film, instead we got a 2.5 hour kids movie that no kid in the world would like.
And I dance. And I sing.
And I'm a monkey, in a long line of kings.
Author
Time
I enjoyed Hulk more than Daredevil though. Aside from Jen Garner, of course.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
Hmm....I didn't see very many movies this year, but from what I saw...Haunted Mansion sucked & LOTR3 was a dissapointment.
I just hate stupid people.

GO JETS!!!!

Petition signer # 34,865
Author
Time
I don't think I can go any further without mentioning how AWFUL Cat in the Hat is! As much as The Grinch was a mistake, this on is more of one.

Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.

Author
Time
I can't believe you watched that piece of cat crap.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
Author
Time
i cant either. The grinch was okay, but is was not something that you could ride off of again. the cat and the hat was a very bad idea in my opinion.