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Worst Edit Ideas — Page 54

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Whenever I go more than 36ish hours without sleep, it feels like everybody’s been replaced by robots who look and act and feel exactly like themselves, completely undistinguishable, but they’re still unthinking, unfeeling robots.

Do that but replace the actors. Revenge of the Sith would be better if the characters felt like they weren’t real. It would be super meta.

Death of the Author

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Deepfake them with low-resolution images of their own faces, perhaps becoming progressively distorted throughout the film.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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 (Edited)

Yeeeaaaaahhh…

I don’t care to grab a screencap but we all know Dooku’s crappy CGI double.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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There was a rumour flying around that Hux would get eaten by a giant turtle in the third act of TROS.

I want someone to painstakingly VFX together Pryde executing Hux by throwing him to a giant turtle.

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Pryde shoots Hux in the head rather than chest.

Oooh, could that be done for real?

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hal 9000 said:

Pryde shoots Hux in the head rather than chest.

Oooh, could that be done for real?

I would imagine that would be a pretty simple VFX shot, all things considered. Hux brain splattering everywhere optional.

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ROTS played backwards, but with every line of dialogue individually reversed so it’s spoken forwards.

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Change the audio for all 9 star wars films and replace it with white noise.

I have altered Lucas’ visions. Pray I don’t alter them any further.

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Eyepainter said:

Change the audio for all 9 star wars films and replace it with white noise.

Changelog:

  • Replaced opening theme music with white noise.
  • Replaced music cue when Star Destroyer moves overhead with white noise.
  • Replaced Tantive IV’s alarm with white noise.
  • Replaced rebel soldiers’ footsteps with white noise.
  • Replaced explosion sound effect with white noise.
  • Replaced C-3PO’s line “Did you hear that? They’ve shut down the main reactor. We’ll be destroyed for sure. This is madness!” with white noise.
  • Replaced explosion sound effect with white noise.
  • Replaced further rebel soldiers’ footsteps with white noise.
  • Replaced C-3PO’s line “We’re doomed!” with white noise.
  • Replaced R2-D2’s beeps with white noise.
  • Replaced C-3PO’s line “There’ll be no escape for the Princess this time” with white noise.

etc etc etc

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Anakin speaks to Finn as the latter prepares to ram his skimmer into the battering ram at the Battle of Crait.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Add a framing device to the prequels showing R2 recount the events to Luke. Cut to the framing device at odd times to have different characters walk into the room to ask where the Blue Milk is.

TPM ROTJ ESB TFA TLJ TROS ROTS ANH SOLO RO ATOC
TFA:R https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/TFA-A-Gentle-Restructure-Released/id/50117
TLJ:R https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Last-Jedi-Rekindled-Released-V3-UPDATE/id/61939
TROS:A https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Rise-of-Skywalker-Ascendant-WIP/id/71835/page/1

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 (Edited)

SparkySywer said:

Add a framing device to the framing device of R2 telling Poe about the time he told Luke about the prequels.

That’s some big brain, Wes Anderson level filmmaking.

Digitally insert CGI Sy Snootles and Joh Yowza into the entire latter part of RotJ. After Jabba’s death, they jump ship together with our heroes and join the Rebellion in its strike on the Forest Moon. Also, the scene of Leia getting shot and Han telling her he loves her will have the actors replaced with Snootles and Yowza, respectively. And, in an emotional moment, Luke will reveal to Snootles that she is his long lost sister.

Instead of Yub Nub or Victory Celebration, Snootles and Yowza will give us a rowsing encore of Jedi Rocks as the film ends.

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The final shot of the movie is just a closeup of Joh Yowza’s salivating mouth as he consumes the camera.

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Add in a random scene from the Star Wars Holiday Special to every movie with no rhyme or reason attached to it.

I have altered Lucas’ visions. Pray I don’t alter them any further.

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CaptainFaraday said:

There was a rumour flying around that Hux would get eaten by a giant turtle in the third act of TROS.

I want someone to painstakingly VFX together Pryde executing Hux by throwing him to a giant turtle.

Was this an actual rumor? Did Steven King come up with it?

Use the Force, Joh Yowza.

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As Luke and Anakin share a tearful goodbye on the faltering second Death Star, a conspicuous puff of blue smoke moves toward frame left and heads toward space.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hoop28 said:

CaptainFaraday said:

There was a rumour flying around that Hux would get eaten by a giant turtle in the third act of TROS.

I want someone to painstakingly VFX together Pryde executing Hux by throwing him to a giant turtle.

Was this an actual rumor? Did Steven King come up with it?

This was an actual rumour from a set of supposed leaks about the screenplay. It became a big meme in Star Wars shitposting circles, the joke persisting even after the movie was released:

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When the second Death Star explodes, add enormous, intact chunks of the station floating away from the blast and miraculously crash landing on Kef Bir.