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Worst Edit Ideas — Page 34

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Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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 (Edited)

NeverarGreat said:

Hal 9000 said:

Have Rey be Palpatine’s granddaughter, and he tries to possess her.

Have Palpatine be back with absolutely no explanation.

Give Palpatine a fleet of planet destroying Star Destroyers with absolutely no explanation.

Give Palpatine a bucket of Snoke clones as a reason for Snoke’s existence.

Have Palpatine reveal that killing him will make him win right as Rey is about to kill him.

Have Palpatine change his plan no less than three times.

Have Palpatine’s minion kill Rey’s parents instead of taking them to Sheev for interrogation.

Have Rey’s parents say ‘She’s not on Jakku’ and have this actually work.

Have a scene set on a visually dramatic lava planet but constrain the action to a flat section of burned forest.

Introduce a map mcguffin but have it be found and used immediately by the villain, requiring the introduction of an identical copy of this mcguffin for the heroes to pursue, then a contrived reason for the villain to pursue the heroes instead of just waiting for them to find the second mcguffin and arrive at his location, which is what he wants to do anyway.

Give Chewie a fakeout death but almost immediately reveal that he is still alive.

Give enemy ships a new ability, then concoct a novel way of countering this ability, then cut the scene where all of this is paid off.

Retcon Leia as being basically a Jedi who does practically nothing with these skills for the rest of her life.

Have Leia communicate with Kylo through the Force and help redeem him at the cost of her life, then cut the communication bit so it looks like she dies for no reason.

Have Kylo hallucinate an image of his father, and have this appear to be what redeems him.

Cut Finn’s presence in the film down to ‘Fails to deliver a line’.

Make a point to give the Latino character a background in drug smuggling.

Give Poe a character arc in which he is burdened with the responsibility of leadership then cut any scene where it is displayed.

Give Threepio a complete memory wipe so that he can translate some data which was in his memory.

Trap characters on a doomed planet, but then have those same characters show up later with no explanation for their escape.

Introduce the concept of a ‘Force Dyad’, which means that when Kylo and Rey are together they have the amazing ability to be so strong that their power can be instantly drained from them by Palpatine. Since Kylo is required to be present for this to work, make him arrive on the planet via a standard TIE fighter, one specifically without a hyperdrive.

Cut almost all scenes of the Knights of Ren doing things.

Cut Rose.

Make a point of placing the ruins of the second Death Star on a planet which isn’t Endor, just to confuse people.

Make the most fanatical devotee of the First Order betray this organization because he doesn’t like the way its leader chews his food, or something.

As a symbolic illustration of Luke’s freedom from his exile on a remote island, cut his part to 1(one) scene which is constrained to only this island.

Make the villain’s planet both notoriously hard to get to but also extremely easy to get to by thousands of ships from across the galaxy.

Give the dangerous planet-destroying fleet the small weakness that without constant external guidance they will just crash. Also make their primary weapon unshielded and so poorly made that destroying it will blow up the ship.

Rule the villain’s defeat a suicide due to being very bad at his signature attack.

Set the final scene of the movie on a planet nobody in this universe cares about and has little meaning even to the main character. In fact, cut mention of any well-populated planet and make Bespin and Endor representative of the entire galaxy.

Call the movie which kills all the Skywalkers ‘The Rise of Skywalker’.

“Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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Dear god, this made me definitely hate this movie. Again.

Italian faneditor.

EDITS LIST:
CHOSEN ONE - A STAR WARS STORY (3-in-1 prequels).
Personal saga: I - SHADOW OF THE PAST. II - KEEPERS OF THE PEACE. III - RISE OF THE DARK SIDE. IV - THE SON OF SKYWALKER. VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI.
Just look for them in the forum, and PM me for links if interested.

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Thank you Neverar for making me remember why I hated this movie. I was actually beginning to like it for a minute.

My preferred saga experience:
TPM/AOTC/ROTS (Hal 9000), ANH/ESB/ROTJ (Despecialized), The Mandalorian,
TFA (Starlight), TLJ (Fallen Knight), TROS (Resurgence).
May the midichlorians be with you.

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 (Edited)

Call the movie which kills all the Skywalkers ‘The Rise of Skywalker’.

Felt like a punch to the gut.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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What makes it worse is that it’s not bad in the way that makes fanediting it fun.

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NFBisms said:

What makes it worse is that it’s not bad in the way that makes fanediting it fun.

Right.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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Have Luke explain he doesn’t want to train Rey because mentors have outlandish insurance rates (for hopefully obvious reasons).

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 (Edited)

Luke vanishes as soon as he notices Rey has found him. He then assumes the form of a porg who speaks to her telepathically in the voice of JJ Abrams, using miscellaneous audio clips from bonus materials and press junkets.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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Have EU books appear, too. The books themselves.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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Anakin Starkiller said:

Reveal at the end of a ANH that Tarkin was Han’s uncle all along.

They were estranged because Tarkin always wanted to know the odds.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Replace Palpatine in TROS with Jar Jar.

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Have Luke survive TLJ and make Rey his daughter.

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I hate to be so negative, but I can’t help but agree.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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NeverarGreat said:

Eh, you can’t convince me it would have been worse than what we actually got.

It’s not as fun to disagree, especially when it’s in defense of a film I don’t care for, so I won’t.

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 (Edited)

Cut out the originals and have the prequels bleed directly into the sequels. Yoda dies in his fight with Palpatine. Padme’s children also die. Obi-Wan goes to Ach-To instead of Tatooine and becomes Mark Hamill instead of Alec Guinness. Han is just the guy who knocked up Shmi and whom Kylo RAnakin found out about off-screen. Snoke is Palpatine but Palpatine is also Palpatine. Leia seems important but is never explained.

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Am I making Carrie Fisher’s ghost proud?”
Well, are ya, punk?