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Worst Comedians Ever Thread!!!

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 (Edited)

If you watch Comedy Central, you will notice that many of the comedians are NOT funny.

Who will win the award of least funny comedian.

Let's start it off:

Dane Cook: This guy just doesn't cut it. He proves that you can be the most successful unfunny comedian in the world. He wins awards, he has a LARGE fanbase, and he isn't funny at all.

His jokes usually consist of, "you remember_______" and they never have a punchline. He uses silly faces to make jokes. I think he uses those faces to cover up his horrible jokes. He is wild, and he is silly, but still NOT FUNNY. His persona is that of a dumb Frat boy, who uses drunken rants for cheap laughs. My one fear is that he will get a sketch comedy show. Like that awful Demitri Martin. Everybody wants to be Dave Chappell nowadays. He is hated by fellow comedians. Many have spoken against him.

Here is a video that speaks the truth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy4zgCsgqyo

 

Now is your turn to take a comedian down. Repeating a name is encouraged, because that will count against the comedian. You can also list other comedians.

 

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

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 (Edited)

I've never liked Russ Abbot.

Jock Rot

I never understood the appeal of Michael Barrymore either but I shan't beat a man when he is as down as it is possible to be while still breathing.

My dad had this album of Jasper Carrot :

Pain

And I thought it was hilarious but for over three decades he has been using the same material and he has the most annoying habit of telling a joke pausing for the laugh and then explaining the joke afterwards thus defusing it.

The passage of time has made him even less easy to look at too :

Balls

(slight uneasy laughter from the audience)

See, he looks older and kind of creepy.

(midnight cricket noise) 

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He's an easy punching bag but Carlos Mencia.

 

Seriously, for every joke he tells, he mentions three times how edgy and un-PC he is. Even if his jokes were funny that's 3/4 of not-even-trying-to-be-funny.

And really, he's not that edgy or un-PC. He's about middle of the road for modern commedians. 

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Father Guido Sarducci is the least funny man in the world. I don't just mean commedians either. There are mercenaries in Botswana who are legitamatly more amusing than this man. There are deaf mutes born and raised in caves the Australian outback who are funnier than him.

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Brian Regan.  Oh wait, he is the best comic in the world!

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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TheBoost said:

He's an easy punching bag but Carlos Mencia.

 

Seriously, for every joke he tells, he mentions three times how edgy and un-PC he is. Even if his jokes were funny that's 3/4 of not-even-trying-to-be-funny.

And really, he's not that edgy or un-PC. He's about middle of the road for modern commedians. 

And he steals jokes. And he has been called out for it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M42BflUZry8&feature=related

 

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

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 (Edited)

Lisa Lampanelli: Her entire routine is "I love to fuck black guys!" Woo hoo.

Dennis Miller: picked up one of his audiobooks one time. Lamest attempt at comedy ever.

Bill Maher: I liked Religulous, and I like his show Real Time, but his most recent stand-up special was less comedy and more crazy-guy-yelling-on-the-street-corner. Pass.

Jeff Dunham: Watching him, you can almost forget that the puppets aren't actually talking. When you realize this, it dawns on you that man, this guy is a huge jerk-off.

Larry the Cable Guy - As terrible as his jokes are, I have to commend him for finding a persona that would make him outrageous amounts of money (he's not actually a redneck, if you weren't aware: Proof

http://i.imgur.com/7N84TM8.jpg

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Nanner Split said:

Dennis Miller: picked up one of his audiobooks one time. Lamest attempt at comedy ever.

Agreed.

When I was in college, the university invited a big name comedian to campus each year to welcome us back to campus.  One year it was a double bill - Dennis Miller and Steven Wright.  I didn't care about Miller, but LOVED Wright and was thrilled to get a chance to see him.  Then, a week before the concert, Miller dropped out, and they decided to cancel the whole thing.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Granted he might have had some family emergency or something, but no one ever said so.  And thus I've always blamed him.  Plus he's not funny.

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Nanner Split said:

Larry the Cable Guy - As terrible as his jokes are, I have to commend him for finding a persona that would make him outrageous amounts of money (he's not actually a redneck, if you weren't aware: Proof

Hmm... looks like he was just as unfunny before.  Laughs at his own jokes. 

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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xhonzi said:

Nanner Split said:

Larry the Cable Guy - As terrible as his jokes are, I have to commend him for finding a persona that would make him outrageous amounts of money (he's not actually a redneck, if you weren't aware: Proof

Hmm... looks like he was just as unfunny before.  Laughs at his own jokes. 

You'd be laughing too if you could mock rednecks have them LOVE you for it and give you more money than you could have possible imagined. ;-)

Star Wars Revisited Wordpress

Star Wars Visual Comparisons WordPress

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Everyone dislike Hayden Christensen but the guy was pretty good in the prequel trilogy. Laughed my ass off many times.

 

 

(sorry, someone had to do it)

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doubleofive said:

xhonzi said:

Nanner Split said:

Larry the Cable Guy - As terrible as his jokes are, I have to commend him for finding a persona that would make him outrageous amounts of money (he's not actually a redneck, if you weren't aware: Proof

Hmm... looks like he was just as unfunny before.  Laughs at his own jokes. 

You'd be laughing too if you could mock rednecks have them LOVE you for it and give you more money than you could have possible imagined. ;-)

 I can't help but think that it might have been a similar situation to the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac comics by Jhonen Vasquez. They mocked goth kids mercilessly, but goth kids didn't catch it and started worshipping the comics, so Vasquez started milking it.

http://i.imgur.com/7N84TM8.jpg

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Nanner Split said:

Dennis Miller: picked up one of his audiobooks one time. Lamest attempt at comedy ever.

 I saw Miller live in 2004.

He did 15 minutes of an hour routine on Clinton/Lewinski jokes.

In 2004.

...

2004!!!!!

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Dennis Miller is getting creamed.

Demitri Martin is awful COME ON!!!

Sarah Silverman is the worst EVER!!!

Have you ever watched her show? That woman talks about queefs and doodieballs. And people watch it. You would expect the show to be good.

I mean Brian Posehn is on there and he is funny for nerds. But the show is just pure garbage. I feel like I am getting dumber as I watch it.

"The other versions will disappear. Even the 35 million tapes of Star Wars out there won’t last more than 30 or 40 years. A hundred years from now, the only version of the movie that anyone will remember will be the DVD version [of the Special Edition], and you’ll be able to project it on a 20’ by 40’ screen with perfect quality. I think it’s the director’s prerogative, not the studio’s to go back and reinvent a movie." - George Lucas

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