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Worst Cliches in Films — Page 2

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You mean the Wilhelm? That's classic, man
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i hate movies that have too many full length songs.

~* you know you love me... xoxo *~

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Big fan of the Wilhelm, I am. I even threw it in to a film of my brother's
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Yeah, how can you not like the Wilhelm scream? I even made sure to transcribe it in the "A New Hope Script Game" thread.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Originally posted by: Gaffer Tape
Yeah, how can you not like the Wilhelm scream? I even made sure to transcribe it in the "A New Hope Script Game" thread.


Truly the greatest scream ever made.
I'd like a qui-gon jinn please with an Obi-Wan to go.

Red heads ROCK. Blondes do not rock. Nuff said.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v72/greencapt/hansolovsindy.jpg
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Originally posted by: Han Solo VS Indiana Jones
Blind faith is always encouraged over logical statistics.


As a corollary, any small overwhelmed force can defeat a much larger army as long as they don't loose faith. (See, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The Matrix Revolution)

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Originally posted by: Nanner Split
....and Star Wars.......

But it seemed so cool in the original Star Wars trilogy, but not so cool later on.
I'd like a qui-gon jinn please with an Obi-Wan to go.

Red heads ROCK. Blondes do not rock. Nuff said.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v72/greencapt/hansolovsindy.jpg
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The hero and always fight and shoot ten times better than the evil guy's henchmen.

bullets fired at the hero always miss, and hit the ground near the hero's feet.

when shooting at someone on horseback, no one ever shoots at the horse.

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Computers will always declare what they are doing in big bold screen-filling text for the benefit of the audience. eg 'Copying files' 'deleting files', etc.

War does not make one great.

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I came across a hysterical blog entry that seems to fit right here. These beautiful trends expose some new cliches in cinema.
The Reel World: Tinseltown Looks to '06 Rebound

Los Angeles - As the box office closes on the US film industry's worst year since 1990, showbiz insiders are looking to a strong slate of 2006 releases to help the industry snap back from the financial doldrums.

"If we've learned anything this year, it's that the market is really hungry for more good, slow, imponderable stories and dim lighting," and industry analyst Tim Jarrard of the trade journal Hollywood Reporter. "The industry has listened, and I think the public will be pleased with the direction it will be taking in 2006."

Anticipated major theatrical releases from Hollywood include:

Incident at Amity: Steven Spielberg directs this cerebral remake of Jaws slated for summer release. Insiders say the 31-year update will feature "additional points of view" and "be less judgmental to sharks." Starring Willam H. Macy as the anti-shark fundamentalist, and Tom Hanks as the Great White.

Silenced Wood: George Clooney stars and directs in this drama about the climate of fear among ventriloquists during radio's notorious Charlie McCarthy era.

Hershey Highway: Based on the Tony Kushner play, a candy factory worker (Phillip Sousa Huffnagel) and Amish teen (Joaquin Seymour Gyllenhall) find forbidden pleasure in this poignant love tale set against the gritty backdrop of Pennsylvania's chocolate belt.

Me Billy: Based on the inspirational true story of a learning disabled man (Sean Penn) who rescues New Orleans from racist flood with a magical red cup.

Baby Doc: Jamie Foxx stars in this biopic about Haitian civil rights activist wrongly accused of despotism by LA police.

Reservoir Puppies: Director Quentin Tarantino teams with Pixar in this animated children's holiday tale about six lost whelps and a botched burglary. Starring the voices of Steve Buscemi, Harvey Keitel, and Mike Meyers as Mister Pinky.

Zaftig Pi: The Eigenvectress. Plus-size video game superheroine comes to life, as Oscar winner Kathy Bates battles Christian fundamentalist aliens with kung fu cartwheels.

The Vespa Diaries: Romantic revolutionary scooterist Pol Pot (Lysol Phoenix) and US intellectual Noam Chomsky (Matt Affleck) find gay rainforest love in this Cambodian remake of 'Roman Holiday' that had Sundance audiences cheering.

Fearful Silence: Courageous What's My Line? contestant (Leonardo DiCaprio) refuses to answer panelist questions in this gameshow drama set against the McCarthy-blacklist era. With William H. Macy as Bennett Cerf and Kevin Spacey as Kitty Carlisle.

Angel Soft This: In a shocking and sometimes humorous indictment of the toilet paper industry, filmmaker Morgan Spurlock documents the ravages he suffers after 30 straight days of non-stop buttwiping.

Mugabe: Will Smith stars in this biopic about Zimbawean civil rights activist wrongly accused of mass starvation program by LA police.

Lunch Lady: poignant story of school cook-turned-playground strangler has generated advanced Oscar buzz for star Jennifer Lopez, who reportedly gained 400 pounds, facial tatoos and gum disease for the role

Fearful Deadly Fear: Blacklisted 1950's screenwriter Damon Runyan (Tim Robbins) writes a secret screenplay about the the McCarthy-era blacklists, in this 1950's blacklist drama set against the background of the McCarthy era blacklists.

Cold Humpcrack Creekwater: Two retarded Gay cowgirl sisters (Rene Zellweger, Jenna Jameson) defy a fundamentalist sherriff (Hovercraft Phoenix) and discover love in this 1930's period piece set in the Appalachian outback of Nebraskansaw.

Redemption: the Idi Amin Story: Gary Coleman stars in this biopic about Ugandan civil rights activist wrongly accused of cannibalism by LA police.

Snow Fuji Mountain: Mothra (Toby Damon) and Gamera (Orlando Law) discover forbidden love while destroying Tokyo, in this story of nuclear-triggered sexual awakening.

The Girl is Fabulous: Totally straight New Yorker Ted (Tom Cruise) falls head over heels in hetero love with Marcy (Katie Holmes) in this completely ungay romantic comedy set against the backdrop of New York's glamorous West Village.

Silence 1984: Documentary filmmaker Errol Morris interviews the survivors of Hollywood's notorious Reagan era 'Year of Fear,' when only three McCarthy-themed movies were released.

Susan Cooper, an industry writer for LA Weekly, said that 2006 plans reflected "a renewed focus on real human stories," after several disappointing 2005 action fantasy releases. She cited the planned spring release of Hollywood's first non-documentary look at 9/11 -- Oliver Stone's Inside Job -- as evidence of Hollywood's return to realism and a reason for industry optimism.

"There's a really good buzz about it in Hollywood," said "With a top director and an all-star cast, this studios are hoping for a blockbuster return."

Stone's $140 million September 11 epic stars Nicholas Cage, along with Haley Joel Osment as Osama Bin Laden, Robin Williams as Donald Rumsfeld, Dakota Fanning as Zacarias Moussawi, Val Kilmer as the ghost Richard Nixon, Harvey Fierstein as the International Neocon Zionist Conspiracy, Bubbles the Chimp as George Bush, and Jim Carrey as 'My Pet Goat.'

"I think 'Inside Job' shows the public that we artists can make serious films on subjects that they care about," said Stone. "Maybe then we can move on to collective healing, and you inbred flyover fundie hillbillies will finally shut the fuck up."
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
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Originally posted by: ADigitalMan
Fearful Silence: Courageous What's My Line? contestant (Leonardo DiCaprio) refuses to answer panelist questions in this gameshow drama set against the McCarthy-blacklist era. With William H. Macy as Bennett Cerf and Kevin Spacey as Kitty Carlisle.

Someone's got there wires crossed...
Bennett Cerf was indeed on What's My Line in the 50's and 60's, but Kitty Carlisle was on To Tell the Truth. She was a guest on What's My Line a few times, but not enough to be included in a movie.

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Whenever someone wants a closeup on video of someone's face, the computer shows it, PERFECTLY. Every detail.

http://www.biggercheese.com/index.php?comic=360

This too. Hackers controlling your computer! Go step by step to stop them!

http://www.biggercheese.com/index.php?comic=332

There are the comic representations.

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On a similar note:

-Comptuers have become so advanced that they can delete people from a photo and logically construct what would have appeared behind them automatically, no user input required.

-Even the blurriest of photos and videos can be enhanced to the point that the image of the face/liscene plate/serial number/important information can be made out plain as day. Even on a twenty year old recording. Taken at night. With the lights off.

-Operating systems, loading times, stubborn programs, ect. on computers don't exist. Computers run ONLY programs relevent to the plot, and never crash unless it enhances the drama.

-Passwords are always the name of a friend, relative, pet, obsession, ect, possibly spelled backwards. Nobody ever makes a random word like snickerdoodle or humanoid their password, and they NEVER include numbers.


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LOL, this is great, I had a great time reading that list and your input - so here's something from me:

OLD SCHOOL ACTION MOVIES:
- The hero always taps baddies if they're standing back to him, in order to fight honorably by avoiding to strike their backs.

GENERIC ACTION MOVIE THEMES
- There must be a spectacular explosion in the end of the movie.
- The final fight takes place in abandoned place: old harbor, factory, warehouse, ship interior, oil rig etc. with absolutely no innocent bystanders. This makes it ready for a spectacular explosion in the end of the movie.

GOOD GUYS
- The main (male) hero has an embarrassing middle name, which he reveals to his sidekick/woman only in the end of the movie.
- The hero often has some weakness, the only people who know about it is the hero him/herself and the chief bad guy.
- If the "good guys team" has at least one Afro-American guy, s/he will be first to take the bullet from the baddies.
- The male good guys usually have dark hair. Blonde women are usually good.
- The phrase "I'm too old for this sh*t" is repeated by good guys Same for "I have a bad feeling about this".

BAD GUYS
- If the male hero has dark hair, the chief bad guy will be blonde. Dark/Red haired women are usually evil.
- When the hero is almost vanquished, the bad guy will mention evil things he wants to do to hero's woman (or sister ), which makes the good guy to get back to combat with restored energy and vigor.
- Bad guy often knows the hero, sometimes even from the childhood days.
- The butler is usually the murderer, Sherlock

WESTERNS
- XIXc. revolvers produce little to no smoke, while in reality after a couple of shots there would be so much smoke in the saloon, that noone would be able to target the opponent.

COMPUTERS
- The proces of hacking involves displaying colorful visual effects on screen or user friendly windows. No lines of code (lots of 'em), no need to code own tools. Often we see a "progress bar".

ARMY
- All sergeants are noisy moronic brutes.

COMBAT
- Hits in hand-to-hand combat, which would normally stun or at least throw off-balance real-life combatants, are leaving little or no effect on the hero or the chief bad guy. They both can withstand prolonged fistfights and often have the stamina to run later.





And now... a huge lists (few hundred lines!) of things not to do, if I ever became an Evil Overlord:
www.eviloverlord.com
You will LOVE this.






I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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During hot, steamy sex scenes, women never queef.
I am fluent in over six million forms of procrastination.
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Some character cliches I can think of right now.

The chubby kid who has a real passion for food and is somewhat of a coward.

The F-word yelling white ethnic mafia wiseguy who is cold-hearted when killing people in brutal and gory ways, who grows into his organization until he betrays or is betrayed by others and find his end in an equally brutal way.

The intelligent and good-hearted scientist who is made captive of a crazy super villain and is forced to work on something ridiculously un-scientific which will bring some sort of super power or strenght, regardless of his warnings about it not being complete and under control. The whole thing colapses with him saying something like "I told you so!"

The substitute teacher who gets into a rough neighborhood school, working with the worse class possible, with good-hearted but mislead and lost students. The teacher is discredited by the comunity around, but gets to touch the heart of the students and make them learn ina different and fun way. One special troublesome kid finds his away, regardless of the abusive parents.

The juvenile person who gets back to medieval times for some reason, and uses portable technology and common knoledge to mislead people to think he or she is a wizard. Everyone on this 10th century steriotype of an era speaks an easily understandable modern english.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering
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Originally posted by: ricarleite
...Everyone on this 10th century steriotype of an era speaks an easily understandable modern english.

LOL, methinks thou art true.
I saw the original theatrical release of the Old Trilogy on the big screen and I'm proud of it...
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
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If the "good guys team" has at least one Afro-American guy, s/he will be first to take the bullet from the baddies.


Sad but true...
http://www.my-musik.com/uploads/zidane006.gif
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Originally posted by: Darth Chaltab
On a similar note:

-Comptuers have become so advanced that they can delete people from a photo and logically construct what would have appeared behind them automatically, no user input required.

-Even the blurriest of photos and videos can be enhanced to the point that the image of the face/liscene plate/serial number/important information can be made out plain as day. Even on a twenty year old recording. Taken at night. With the lights off.

-Operating systems, loading times, stubborn programs, ect. on computers don't exist. Computers run ONLY programs relevent to the plot, and never crash unless it enhances the drama.

-Passwords are always the name of a friend, relative, pet, obsession, ect, possibly spelled backwards. Nobody ever makes a random word like snickerdoodle or humanoid their password, and they NEVER include numbers.


And all of this photo enhancement/painting out etc is done with a few strokes of the keyboard - no mouse or photoshop skills required.

War does not make one great.

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Originally posted by: ricarleite
Some character cliches I can think of right now.

The juvenile person who gets back to medieval times for some reason, and uses portable technology and common knoledge to mislead people to think he or she is a wizard...


he/she is instantly hailed & accepted as a wizard & treated almost as royalty instead of being tried & burned as a witch
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This is another cliche that there is not way around for a filmmaker, unfortunately.

A plan that is not explained on screen ahead of time will go perfectly, a plan that is explained onscreen ahead of time will fail.

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.