Haha! But this isn't about me. This is about Uncle Owen.
It's funny, when this thread first started, I thought about re-writing all of my Chuck Norris jokes to feature Owen Lars.
If you work in an office with Uncle Owen, don't ask for his three-hole punch.
Staring at Uncle Owen for prolonged periods of time will result in blindness and shoe-sized bruises to the face.
etc.
So, who would win in a Chuck Norris vs. Owen Lars match?
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
^Is it safe to ask a question of that magnitude?! :-s
42.
IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!
"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005
"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM
"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.
I bet Alex Trebek knows the answer.
Alex Trebek vs. Uncle Owen - who wins?
Would Trebek be using swords?
Sluggo said:
Would Trebek be using swords?
Sheesh. Everyone knows that the penis mightier.
There is no lingerie in space…
C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.
Gaffer Tape said:
Sheesh. Everyone knows that the penis mightier.
Hehe, Gaff just accidentally said the word "penis". I feel like a 9 year old pointing that out, but it is pretty funny that it took me a few minutes to realize he meant to say the "pen is" and wasn't trying to make some perverse joke about Alex Trebek.
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
C3PX said:
Hehe, Gaff just accidentally said the word "penis".
People doing my job again :-(
C3PX, I can't tell if you're being serious, or if you really don't realize that Gaffer was referring to one of the Jeopardy skits of Saturday Night Live. :p But anyway, they y'go.
Hey, is Ric Olie some sort of non-accent aigu'd clone of Ric Olié?
Ripplin said:
Hey, is Ric Olie some sort of non-accent aigu'd clone of Ric Olié?
I'm just too lazy to type the "é"
Ripplin said:
C3PX, I can't tell if you're being serious, or if you really don't realize that Gaffer was referring to one of the Jeopardy skits of Saturday Night Live. :p But anyway, they y'go.
Hey, is Ric Olie some sort of non-accent aigu'd clone of Ric Olié?
Ah, no. I am unfamiliar with that particular sketch. Now I feel kind of silly having pointed out his "mistake". I am off to youtube to educate myself on the "penis mighter".
"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape
Check out "therapists" also.
Thanks for stealing my thunder Ripplin. I wanted to.
A Goon in a Gaggle of 'em
bkev said:
Thanks for stealing my thunder Ripplin. I wanted to.
Sorry, my young padawan Brute. ;)
Haha, C3PX misconstrued my comment!
There is no lingerie in space…
C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.
Round three: Fight!
Daultay Dofine
Dofine attempts to disorient Owen with political rhetoric, but Owen makes the sniveling Neimoidian eat his words. Literally.
I guess I'm your stepbrother. I had a feeling you might show up someday.
Dexter Jettster
Owen has to move fast to avoid a 4-armed full-nelson, but once Owen got Dexter reminiscing about his time smuggling spice from the moons of Iago, Owen was able to mash a salt shaker into the four-armed freaks face.
Where are you going?
Commander Cody
While the clone commander is busy switching sides in the war, the Lars family exhibits the tag-team move of the millennium. Beru sneaks up behind Cody and kneels behind him, while Owen shoves him over the top. Stuck on his back like an up-ended turtle, Owen makes short work of the manufactured fighter.
Take my speeder bike!
(The Owen quotations just aren't as cool as I'd hoped, but I got to work with what they give me.)
What about Obi-Wan? Or even Mace?
I'm not sure prequel-era Owen Lars could take on Mace, but classic-era Owen would give him a good fight.
Sluggo said:
(The Owen quotations just aren't as cool as I'd hoped, but I got to work with what they give me.)
Now you know how Ric feels.
Sluggo said:
The Bespin Ice Cream Man
.... the man who's only friend is vanilla
*spit-take*
;-)
I can honestly think of no character in the original trilogy who could best Owen in a bare knuckle brawl except for Max Rebo.
Oh, that would be a fight. How do you punch a spongy blue muppet?
I dunno, Obi Wan Kenobi versus Owen Lars? That's like pairing up Clint Eastwood and Charlton Heston. And you know they hated each others guts too, so it would be a real good, old school grudge match.