When You Are a Movie/TV Character... — Page 2

Tyrphanax said:

doubleofive said:

 

RedFive said:

You die very, very, very slowly.

Or very very quickly if your character has no name.

 

Unless it's "Porkins".

Fixed.

The wheels on your car spin backwards.

The timer always stops at 1.

If driving at gunpoint you can crash your car assured that you will be less injured than your captor.

You can flash anything in your wallet to gain access or information if you do it fast enough.

You can make a shark explode with the prow of a ship.

You know you are an American movie/TV character when you feel compelled to announce the country where a famous city is located in dialogue.

i.e. "He was last seen in Berlin, Germany".

Bingowings said:

You know you are an American movie/TV character when you feel compelled to announce the country where a famous city is located in dialogue.

i.e. "He was last seen in Berlin, Germany".

Sometimes it is important to clarify.

You can fix a timeline by changing one thing, regardless of how you otherwise interfere.

You can sober up completely in a few minutes no matter how drunk you are.

You have recently noticed that bugs are of a remarkably consistent size and that their behaviour is governed by algorithms.

You would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

doubleKO said:

You can fix a timeline by changing one thing, regardless of how you otherwise interfere.

You can sober up completely in a few minutes no matter how drunk you are.

You have recently noticed that bugs are of a remarkably consistent size and that their behaviour is governed by algorithms.

You would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

One of my favorite lists, in spite of how short.

doubleKO said:

...

You would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

I lol'd!

The gun on the wall in the first act would be used in the third act.

Everyone would know all the words and the steps as you sing and dance your way down the street.

You fall down on a girl and you both are looking at each other in the eyes, before getting up and laughing awkwardly.

Cars explode for no apparent reason.

You usually have one car, but sometimes you have two cars.

You get shot in the shoulder and show no pain.

You can always drive better than the people chasing you.

You will be late to class on your first day at a new school.

If you are a geeky girl, a makeover will change everyone's opinion of you; except the guy who is your lifelong best friend and secretly in love with you. He knew you were beautiful all along.

You will never have a pleasant journey on a bus.

If you are raped by a woman perhaps but I don't think Deliverance or Midnight Express are themselves comedic (though they have inspired comedic pastiches which may be more difficult with a rape scene where a woman is the victim of a man's advances).

I forgot about this thread.  This is a fantastic one!

When someone significant to the direction your life has been heading for sometime unexpectedly leaves town/dies/gets called back to base for a surgical debriefing etc, you meet someone new who almost immediately picks up the baton.

Unless it's central to the plot, your woman will never get pregnant no matter how often you have relations.

You see non-committal sex as a diversionary sport while saying "I love you" is rounding third base.

Hacker computer programs have visually exciting GUIs and make fun little sounds to indicate they are breaking into the desired computer.

Your fellow male characters may or may not be attractive.

Your fellow female characters are always attractive and underweight.

Your group of three leads includes one female and one black person.

You are an American patriot willing to sacrifice your life and shoots lots of baddies to save the day, while a famous Hollywood personality who looks exactly like you hates America and thinks even water pistols are evil.

Your unnatural accent comes and goes.

Every time your buddy gets shot in the chest, it only dazes him for a moment until he gets his second, third and fourth wind.  He gets even more angry and will take out a few more bad guys before he finally goes down.

Several people will gladly risk their lives, many of them dying, in order to save your life.

That nerdy girl always looks incredibly attractive once she takes off her glasses and does her hair differently.

If you are a lawyer, you never trip over your words but rather argue your case with supreme eloquence and emotion.

All the high school students look like they're in their early 20s.

Broken windows never cut you.

Your significant other breaks up with you just before the sequel begins.

Your advanced electronic items have lots of lights that simply blink but don't do anything.

Bullets miss you, but always ricochet off of something near you, even if it is something small and far harder to hit like a flagpole or railing on a catwalk.

You groan and whine when a woman puts warm soapy water on that huge open wound that hardly fazed you when you received it.

darth_ender said:

Advanced your electronic items have lots of lights that simply blink but don't do anything.

MC Frontalot said:

You know it.

Bingowings said:

You know you are an American movie/TV character when you feel compelled to announce the country where a famous city is located in dialogue.

i.e. "He was last seen in Berlin, Germany".

We wouldn't want to confuse it with Berlin, El Salvador now, would we?

Ancient warnings will be translated right after you leave on your expedition and are incommunicado.

Putting a beverage on someone's coffee table without using a coaster will cause immediate and possibly irreparable damage.

Animal experts have extremely conservative estimates of the maximum size attainable by species in their field of expertise.