In junction with what I’m saying though, it’s more like - I’m personally not a stoic buddhist, so that’s where I would disagree with Lucas’ admiration of those ideas in his work. At the very least, would be disinterested in it. If an audience is discomforted with detachment valued in that way, I do think there is space left by Lucas to feel that - you just wouldn’t be a Jedi in his world.
And again, this is where I feel like it’s always discussed so binarily - as “good” and “bad” interpretations. Flawed institutions, unwieldy pedagogy, and slavish dogma, etc. can be separate case study in the work from philosophical beliefs. It’s not contradictory for Lucas to posit those things and still come out believing Jedi are good. But could they be Good in the time/space he depicted? Exploring what can go wrong with tangible incidence, is not the same as exploring what is wrong with abstract ideas. And we always keep circling back to confusion over that messiness, when the messiness is almost the point. It’s war and politics considered over serial adventure, we’ve always known that, it comes with the territory.
But beyond that, the OT has the focused thematic answers from those questions one would be looking for anyway. Luke Skywalker has friends he cares about and succeeds through the love of a son to his father. You couldn’t be a prequel Jedi, but detachment is considered with far more balance with the whole saga in mind.
Anakin didn’t have to be a Jedi and he certainly didn’t have to stay a Jedi; if he really wanted to quit to be with Padme he could have. Most Catholics and Buddhists are not monks or nuns and it’s not a requirement for anyone to be.
In Legends (specifically, in the comic adaptation of Attack of the Clones), Anakin actually wanted to leave the Jedi Order for Padmé. However, she told him that it was his duty to protect the Galaxy and help the Republic in the war. So, Anakin wanted to leave the Order to stay with Padmé from day one, but Padmé’s pressure and his own sense of duty towards the Republic prevented him from doing that, at least until the end of the Clone Wars. Also, every time I watch the Prequel Trilogy, it always gives me the impression that Anakin wanted to leave the Jedi Order after the end of the war and the victory of the Republic. Yes, it was never clearly stated in the movies, but I’ve always taken it for granted, even before finding out that it was openly stated in the old Expanded Universe.
Anyway, I think that, even though Lucas’ opinions have to be taken into account, it doesn’t mean that you have to agree with him 100%, even when it comes to the Jedi. In fact, the Expanded Universe writers portrayed attachment as a dangerous thing that can lead to the Dark Side, just like Lucas said. But at the same time, they also explained that a Jedi can be married and have a family without being overly-attached to his partner or his family. For example, here there is a quote from Ben Skywalker:
“That’s what attachment is, isn’t it?” Ben [Skywalker] began pacing again, and words finally poured from him like water running through a shattered dam. "It’s not loving somebody. It’s not marrying somebody. It’s not having kids. It’s being where, if something goes wrong, there’s nothing left of you. It’s where, if she goes away, you start functioning like a droid with a restraining bolt installed. Mom wouldn’t want you to be this way. So why are you?”
(Legacy of the Force: Fury, by Aaron Allston)
So, you can agree with Lucas on the dangers of being overly-attached to someone, but also disagree with him on the notion that the Jedi need to be celibate in order not to be overly-attached. And I personally am of the opinion that Lucas himself would not care if you disagree with him about that. I mean, he clearly shared this same point of view before the completion of the Prequel Trilogy. In fact, he was heavily involved in the development of the New Jedi Order series, and gave the authors of the novels a lot of input on how the Force works, what means to be a Jedi, etc.
We all know that the Jedi rules are quite different in the New Jedi Order, even though the basic policy about attachment remained the same. And given that Lucas himself - at first - approved the idea of the Jedi being married in the New Jedi Order, I think that he would not blame you for thinking that the Jedi can be married and have families, even though he doesn’t share this point of view anymore. If you told Lucas: “Hey George, I agree with you about the dangers of being overly-attached to someone, but I’m of the opinion that a Jedi doesn’t necessarily have to be celibate in order to avoid that danger”, then I think that he himself would tell you something like: “Well, I think that the important thing is to be aware of the dangers of attachment. Everything else doesn’t matter”.