Father Skywalker said:
I would be willing to list 5 reasons why I hate the movie for every single reason why YOU love it, BESIDES the fact that it has gorgeous topless Hayden Christensen in it.
1-it has the "gorgeous, topless, Hayden Christensen" in it, with awesome long-dark brown hair, a beautiful yet evil and young lord darth vader-sounding-ish, voice-all good looks aside, he looked and sounded like a young Darth Vader without the james earl jones robotic cybernetic voice, the robot suit, the samurai helmet, the pale, white skinned-disfigured burned egg-shaped/looking ugly face, (like the Obi-Wan Kenobi said, more machine now than man, he started out as a normal looking-person but became disfigured inside of a suit, which was in the novelizations long before the prequels ever came out),
But rather, an evil creepy sounding charimatic devoted determined, young voice, evil-long dark brown hair like a badass medieval knight (or a heavy metal singer) or an ancient Roman Warrior, and long black robes of a dark lord of the sith. He just had that perfect evil-looking face, if not a beautiful handsome evil looking face.
2- Padme Amidala is Force Choked by Darth Vader, not an military imperial admiral/officer, but Luke and Leia skywalker's pregnant mother on a volcano planet being force-choked by young pre-suit Darth Vader, which means that darth vader also indirectly force choked his children too!!!!!
3-Anakin skywalker's turn to the darkside to save luke and leia's pregnant mother from some kinda pregnancy childbirth death. It made Darth Vader more humanlike.
4-The part where darth vader slaughters the entire seperatist council on Mustafar, and how Darth Vader actually cries about it afterwards, showing the good in him, and the conflict with him....
5-the march on the jedi temple was just pure plain epic awesomeness and godlike-style kickass
6-the sad music that played when the jedi were all killed off
Okay, I am going to keep my promise, but then I will follow Jaitea's advice and never ever respond to you again, because now I am sure you must be trolling, until now I was willing to consider the fact that you were dropped on your head as a child. Repeatedly.
1.1 - I think the Anakin character is one of the main reasons the prequels didn't work at all. Of course the character was terribly written, but a showroom dummy would have played the part better than Hayden. He only has 3 faces to put on in episode 2 and learns one more in the next one. Darth Vader was intimidating. I would probably laugh in his face if he was portrayed like this. Tommy Wiseau could have performed the role better. You would like him, he has long dark hair and muscles.
1.2 - The characters are terrible in general. Nobody is acting like an actual human being in this movie.
1.3 - People tend to like episode 3 because it has a lot of stuff going on. That may be true, but thanks to that it all feels rushed.
1.4 - Not only does this movie have way too much story to tell, that can be blamed on the lack of story progress in the previous two, but it actually builds unnecessary subplots (eg. general Grievous, Darth Plagueis), so there is even less space to develop what is actually important for the story.
1.5 - It tries to make up for the bad storytelling by silly action sequences that make no sense and since they were done strictly by CGI, look mostly ridiculous by now.
2.1 - The film tries to be way too epic for a third installment in a six-part saga. Story-wise it sucks, of course, but visually, it attempts to overshadow all the other films, making sure that even a dozen more Special Editions in, the following three filsm from 1970s/80s would never look like they belong to the same series.
2.2 - Since everything happens so fast, the turn to the dark side is abrupt and makes little sense. Anakin comes out really stupid out of this one.
2.3 - The film ends so that at the very last minute everything gets to the exact same spot we find it two decades later. That feels very sloppy.
2.4 - Once Anakin turns to the dark side, there is no conflict in him, he just decides to be a giant asshole and really enjoy it. He even strangles Padme, who has been the reason he went this far and apparently is not even aware of this, because when he gets in the armor, he needs to be reminded of that.
2.5 - Pretty much all the characters are unlikable, I know nothing is black and white but everyone behaves like a complete idiot, especially the Jedi who are supposed to be the heroes in this move!
3.1 - The obligatory space battle is confusing. Neither side is trying to win it, they are just showing off their weaponry. Also, what was Grevous' plan? Take Palpatine to the orbit and sit there? I suppose so, since he makes no effort to flee and he cannot seriously consider to take over the Republic's capital (which barely notices there is a war going on!).
3.2 - The lightsaber duels, especially the one on Mustafar, are terrible! Again, they are not fighting to defeat the opponent, but to show off!
3.3 - The transition from Republic to Empire was laughably smooth.
3.4 - Padme loosing will to live was just a stupid tool of removing a character that fulfiled her purpose of giving birth to the characters of the good trilogy.
3.5 -This may be partly because we know the story of the original trilogy already, but the movie fails to build a tension. The characters and even nations are so unlikable that I really don't care about what will happen to them.
4 - No way I am going to acknowledge your point no. 4, since you just made that up. Anakin never ever doubts his decision. He doesn't cry, he just looks to the cammera to look good in the trailer and make weirdos like you dripping wet.
5.1 - While John Williams is a true master of his craft and i cannot blame him for the failure that these movies were, I can hardly recall any piece of music that was specific to episode 3 that really got my attention. This surely cannot be said for the original trilogy or even The Phantom Menace.
5.2 - Why exactly did Yoda need to go to exile? I can think of number of things he may have been doing to sabotage the empire, without risking his life (supporting the rebellion groups for example).
5.3 - The only group of scenes that showed that there actually was an opposition to the completely stupid policy of Palpatine eventually ended on the cutting room floor. But perhaps they thought that it is no big harm, since besides the three scenes, this subplot really goes nowhere (unless is even more material I am not aware of).
5.4 - "He is too dangerous to be kept alive!" - I know this was a plot device, but it is SO out of character for a high ranking Jedi Knight.
5.5 - "There are heroes on both sides." - Ermm... what? Is Dooku a hero? Surely not. Girevous? Or the battledroids?
6.1 - The movie had an opportunity to show the demise of the Jedi order. Instead we get like three short death scenes of some of the characters that were fortunate enough to get a name and a shot of sir psycho sexy leading an army of man-robots to beat up some kids in a temple.
6.2 - Obi-Wan riding a large lizard. Just because he can.
6.3 - The suggested reference to Anakin's midichlorian origins are never resolved and it is not ambiguous in a good way, it just seems like an unfinished plot point.
6.4 - Why did Yoda give up the fight? Because he fell of a platform once? Overall, he had the upper hand....
6.5 - Qui-Gon is referenced, but it seems like a way to make sure his character was not completely redundant to begin with, but also to explain (or rather suggest) the force-ghost thing, which they forgot about during the last two movies.
7.1 - Comparing this movie to the original trilogy makes me angry. It is hardly even the same genre. The cinematography is like a day and night.
7.2 - I mentioned stupid and lazy writing but it doesn't even attempt to keep the secret of Vader's identity or even the twins twist, both of which were mind-blowers back in the day.
7.3 - The cult status of this movie annoys me. Just because it is tad better than the last one (small achievement, considering that one was one of the worst movies of all times), everyone seems to think of it as "the good prequel". It isn't, for reasons to support this I would refer you to the previous paragraphs or to an opinion of pretty much any person with at least half a brain.
7.4 - If it didn't have "Star Wars" in its title, I would never be interested in watching such a terrible mess of a movie.
7.5 - I wish it didn't have "Star Wars" in its title.
Wexter, how would you have written the prequels in a way that does not spoil the reveal in star wars episode 5-the empire strikes back, that Darth Vader is actually the same person as Anakin Skywalker, the father to Luke Skywalker???
Besides, everybody knows about that anyways, it's is no longer a spoiler, but a staple of popular culture........
Across the Stars and Anakin's Dark Deeds and the Birth of the Twin's and Padme's Destiny and Padme's Funeral and padme's ruminations were awesome soundtracks.......