- Time
- Post link
Troy
- Time
- Post link
Hector, I believe, was Eric Bana from The Hulk and Black Hawk Down.
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
- Time
- Post link
- Time
- Post link
Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.
- Time
- Post link
But, my father, sister and brother went to see the movie on its opening weekend. Both my brother and sister take Latin in school, and their teacher had an informal Saturday field trip. My dad went because my brother is under 18.
Anyways, my dad said that the one thing that stuck out for him as an absolutely blatent display of idiocy was a scene of a sunrise.
If you know ANYTHING about geography, you should know that Troy was on the Western coast of what is now Turkey. When the Greeks sailed, they had to sail East. When they landed, they would have been to the West of the city.
BUT, in at least one scene, the sun rose behind the landed Greek ships.
The Sun rose in the West???
Now, some movie mistakes I can understand, but what kind of morons would you need to be to make this kind of mistake??
- Time
- Post link
Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.
- Time
- Post link
"I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself." -sybeman
"You know, putting animals in the microwave is not a good idea. I had to learn that one the hard way." -seanwookie
- Time
- Post link
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
- Time
- Post link
But after seeing all this promotional material, I'd like to know: what do you think of Diane Kruger, guys? Is that your vision of Helen of Troy?
And don't get started with her "acting performance" evaluation - supermodels are not being hired for their acting capabilities
So let us, primitive males
, speak their... mind 
(even if women claim we use sth else for thinking 
)My opinion: she's OK, but nothing special... I guess the only reason why she was picked is that Wolfgang Petersen is also German
I wouldn't send 1000 ships after her.And what critics say:
LISA KENNEDY, Denver Post:
"Kruger is fetching enough. But it is hard to believe Helen is the most beautiful woman in the world. The blondest woman in Troy, perhaps."
KAREN KARBO, The Oregonian:
"Helen was one of the most beautiful, charismatic women in history; Kruger's pretty in the manner of dozens of young women you might see at the mall on a Saturday afternoon"
ERIC HARRISON, Houston Chronicle
"Hers is the legendary 'face that launched 1,000 ships,' but except for her having blond hair it's hard to understand the fuss -- Achilles' tent mates are just as cute."
MICHAEL SRAGOW, The Baltimore Sun
"[Orlando] Bloom is actually prettier than Kruger..."
TOM RYAN, The Age (Australia)
"Kruger is awful as the woman who launched a lot of CGI."
STEPHANIE ZACHAREK, Salon.com
"At this point you may be wondering, does 'Troy' at least give us a believable Helen -- a woman whose face might, conceivably, have launched 1,000 ships? The answer is, unfortunately, no. With her sun-kissed, bland sweetness, Kruger is pretty enough in a Darien, Connecticut, kind of way -- not exactly Helen of Troy, but maybe Helen of Abercrombie & Fitch. (Think of her as the face that launched 1,000 golf carts.)"
GLENN WHIPP, L.A. Daily News:
"The thin-lipped blond Kruger looks more like Helen of Hunt than a woman whose face would launch a thousand ships."
STEPHEN HUNTER, Washington Post:
"Is this the face that launched a thousand ships? Opinions will vary, of course, but I'd rate hers as a 457-ship face."
TY BURR, Boston Globe:
"There is indeed a legendary beauty in "Troy" -- a face that brings the ancient world to its knees, a being whose grace is such that grown men feel stupid and ashamed in its presence. I speak, of course, of Brad Pitt. ...
"Kruger as Helen? She's lovely enough -- a face to launch, I don't know, 274 ships -- although I kept forgetting she wasn't Robin Wright Penn."
HANNAH MCGILL, The Herald (UK):
"Kruger's bland, pinched-looking Helen can barely launch an audible sentence let alone a thousand ships."
DAVID EDELSTEIN, Slate.com:
"In truth, this Helen has a face that would launch maybe a hundred ships -- although if you throw in that lithe body and a favorable wind, you could bump the number up to 250."
RUSSELL BAILLIE, The New Zealand Herald:
"You can't but help think the ship-to-face ratio of German model Diane Kruger as Helen is more in the high two-figure than four-figure range."
RICK GROEN, Globe & Mail (Canada):
"As launching pads go, I'd put her down for 10 or 12 at most."
MICK LASALLE, San Francisco Chronicle:
"The Helen of Troy we get here, as played by Diane Kruger, looks more like Helen of Troy, N.Y. -- a pretty girl who could easily launch a paddle boat, maybe, or a couple of canoes, but that's about all."
BRUCE NEWMAN, San Jose Mercury News:
"It's puzzling that they were willing to spend $200 million to make this movie, but wouldn't pony up for an actress with a face actually worthy of launching a thousand ships. Kruger looks less like one of history's great beauties than the third cheerleader from the left at a basketball game."
EDIT:
I've also added my candidate for Helen of Troy in the Beautiful Women thread.
How did I accomplish that (considering my age) is my secret...
- Time
- Post link
Quote
Originally posted by: RRS-1980
DAVID EDELSTEIN, Slate.com:
"In truth, this Helen has a face that would launch maybe a hundred ships -- although if you throw in that lithe body and a favorable wind, you could bump the number up to 250."
This is the best of the bunch.
As for Kruger... I haven't seen the movie, but I've seen pics of her and I do think she's cute. 1000 ships? Nah. Perhaps there's a sorcery aspect to this whole story that we are not aware of and Helen was really just some ugly ass hag who had a spell on the two armies to see her for more than what she truly was (that might explain Gwyneth Paltrow, too). But who's to say for sure, right?
Kruger is cute, no question. And, to tie in the 1000 ships concept to the immortal words of Burgess Meredith, "it's time to take the skin boat to Tuna Town."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
- Time
- Post link
- Time
- Post link
Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.
- Time
- Post link
- Time
- Post link
Due to her divinity, any mortal man laying eyes on her is doomed to fall in love with her "beauty".
Unfortunately the producers/writers of Troy decided to leave out any aspect of the Gods, except mentioning them. This is a fatal mistake, in my opinion, as the influence of the Greek Gods has a large impact upon the story:
1. in Helen's case stated above.
2. Paris is visited by 3 Goddess's Hera, Athena & Aphrodite. He is asked to choose which he thinks is the most beautiful, each offering a worthy prize if they are chosen. Aphrodite shows him a vision of Helen, falling instantly in love with her (see above) he chooses Aphrodite.
3. Achilles (feared warrior Brad Pitt) is the Son of the Goddess Thetis, who bathes him as a baby in the River Styx ( the river that seperates the land of the living from the land of the dead), this makes him virtually invulnerable in combat (where do you think the term Achilles heel comes from????)
4. in Agamemnon's desire to conquer Troy he is told by his soothsayer (fortune teller) that the Gods demand a sacrifice before allowing the God of the wind to raise a breeze strong enough to allow the Greeks to embark on there quest. He is told to sacrifice his only daughter, which he does so providing yet anothe rmissed plot point for the culmination of the tale.
Also missing from the story was Cassandra, Hector & Paris's sister, who has the gift of foresight & as a young child has recurring visions of Paris's infidelity & the subsequential fall of Troy. Upon the birth of Paris, she convinces her father, King Priam, that Paris must not live & must be killed. Paris is taken to be killed but is left to die in the wild where he is later found & brought up by a Goat farmer.
What does all this mean??
Well it means one person that was bitterly disappointed with Troy. It was a good ACTION/WAR movie, but not great! I felt it had soooo much potential, potential to rival even Gladiator, but ultimately fell short of the mark. As for the actors?????
Brad Pitt: wooden
Orlando Bloom: annoying
Diane Kruger: pretty but without the knowledge of her curse, not pretty enough
Eric Bana: the REAL STAR of the movie!
Peter O'Toole: excellent as ever, very noble
& all the others?
Over the top to the point of becoming camp!
Another empty handed offering by Hollywood studio's!
When will they learn???
Just as a point of interest, released I think about a year or so prior to Troy was the Hallmark "Helen Of Troy". Now the acting leaves alot to be desired & the action stinks of Hercules BUT the story does quite nicely follow the tale of Troy until the end, where it gets a bit confused as it quickly tries to tie everything up! Worth checking out as a comparison!
Evil ugly dudes: "YIPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
- Time
- Post link
- Time
- Post link
- Time
- Post link
But I will say that the Achilles/Hector fight was one of the best 2v2 combats I've seen in a long time!
Um..Ricarlite.....don't know if it'l lessen your anger any but.....
Even in the legend/original poem Paris has always been an archer.
Evil ugly dudes: "YIPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
- Time
- Post link
Princess Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han Solo: I'm a nice man.
- Time
- Post link
Neverending Story was made before Das Boot? Really?
- Time
- Post link
who's a noob?
Evil ugly dudes: "YIPPEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
- Time
- Post link
- Time
- Post link
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
- Time
- Post link
- Time
- Post link
I haven't seen TROY yet. Its one of those movies I was really hyped for and then it came out and I just stopped being excited for it. I'm not sure if I'll see it or not, the consesus seems to be that its pretty so-so, not bad, but not great either.
I agree about Kruger, they should of got Monica Belluci or Scarlet Johansson or someone truely breathtaking.
I think instead of watching TROY I'm just going to rent the dvd of the made for TV Helen of Troy. The girl who plays Helen in that is much hotter, and while it lacks any big name stars it features the underappreciated Rufus Sewel.
And I'm a monkey, in a long line of kings.
- Time
- Post link
Monica Bellucci on the other hand... yum. She would have been great. But she was a little busy doing some little film about some dude named Jesus or some such around the same time. I heard the movie did modestly at the box office.
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com