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This guy REALLY hates the prequels

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Check out this rant from this morning's SF Gate (online version of the SF chronicle). Clearly, anyone who enjoys Star Wars is a geek and "too emotionally immature to graduate to real movies." This guy usually writes scathing remarks about the Bush administration or conservative agenda, but always with a sanctimonious tone that I don't like. Now I know he's a dick. I was going to write him but decided it wasn't even worth it.
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Now there is a man who got picked on WAY too much as a child for being a Star Wars fan. Or, more likely, got beat up by his father for begging for SW toys all the time. Through all his caustic condemnation of his view of 'geeks' he reveals that he knows too damn much about SW to not be a geek himself- and despite his decision to lash out at what he probably once was he manages to make a few valid points about the quality of the PT. I'll bet his regular audience doesn't give a damn though...
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Admit it now, get it over with, move on to pretty happy things like puppies and porn and sunshine.


Puppies.....ans sunshine? The need to get laid, I sense in you...

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Begone, Star Wars ubergeeks...Never has a culture wished so deeply for a group of people to get deep into online porn and pop more Ritalin and stay the hell home.


That's twice he's mentioned porn.....is he trying to tell us something about himself. It's okay dude....watching lesbians insert multiple objects in multiple orifices is perfectly okay....no need to feel guilty about it and take it out on the geeks...

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Fabulous actors so completely drained of nuance and character you are left wishing Obi Wan would shoot heroin and dive into a toilet and have a deformed religious experience, and that Neeson might veer off and start asking Princess Amidala what her favorite sexual position is and how many orgasms she has in a month and what she really thinks about when she sees Vader's throbbing red lightsaber.


Actually....that sounds like a great fan film idea....

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Harrison Ford carried the first three movies, period. Carrie Fisher was amusing enough, the droids were cute and infinitely annoying, James Earl Jones' Vader voice work was nearly a character unto itself.


Right, right, wrong, right.....the person who wrote this is infinitely more annoying than those droids....at least the droids serve a purpose...

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Despite all those blogs and articles insisting SW is some sort of modern iteration of "Crime and Punishment" crossed with "Dr. Spock's Guide to Parenting," there is little of true intellectual substance to speak of in any of the SW flicks, and say what you will about old-time '60s radical Lucas' commendable desire to criticize current rabid right-wing ideology via his simple good/evil allegories, the overarching plot of SW is so basic and the execution so orthodox, you might as well be watching "The Bad News Bears," stoned. It's true.


Watching a movie about a bunch of kids playing baseball while stoned......hmmmm......can't you think of a better movie to watch while stoned....no sense wasting some good reefer on that movie....

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Ten years of crappy CGI and 10 years of lumpy stiff acting and 28 years of waiting and you watch "Sith" where only the last 30 minutes really finds any sort of cinematic footing, and after all that screaming and all the cheeseball animation and all the slaughtered Jedis and the stilted, lifeless dialogue and heavy Vader wheezing and Yoda's irritating speech impediment, where do we finally end up at the end of Episode III? That's right: 1977. And who the hell wants to be back there?


I would like to be back in 1977....I can relive the whole thing and be twice as annoying...just to piss this guy off.

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The "Star Wars" films, each and every one of them and it feels like there are about 127 of them now, they remain, always and forever, movies for anxious, easily stupefied 10-ear-old boys.


Well...this stupified 10 year old has got one thing to say to you, Mr. Morford....FUCK YOU!!!!
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The fact that he linked to Supershadow shows how clueless he really is. It's a case of one idiot getting his information from another idiot. LOL!

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" Two words: Jim Henson. Next to Ford, Henson's astonishing Creature Shop gave the first movies brilliantly wacky life, silly and tangible and honest. The last three flicks are just painful reminders of how much he, and his entire Muppet universe, are missed in this world, and how much computers have drained many movies of their soul."


Okay, he scores a point with that one.

"Raise your hand if you love the concept of prequels. Ten years of crappy CGI and 10 years of lumpy stiff acting and 28 years of waiting and you watch "Sith" where only the last 30 minutes really finds any sort of cinematic footing."

LOL...true.

Well, at least he sees that the OT is vastly superior to the PT.

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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The fact that he linked to Supershadow shows how clueless he really is. It's a case of one idiot getting his information from another idiot. LOL!


Oh yeah!!! I saw that and forgot to add it to my post. I laughed my ass off when I saw that link. I'm gonna mail the guy who wrote that and clue him in on his "source".....mind if I quote you MeBeJedi?
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heh, looks like that supershadow site had a 'hostile takeover' so to speak

-Darth Simon
Why Anakin really turned to the dark side:
"Anakin, You're father I am" - Yoda
"No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!" - Anakin

0100111001101001011011100110101001100001

*touchy people disclaimer*
some or all of the above comments are partially exaggerated to convey a point, none of the comments are meant as personal attacks on anyone mentioned or reference in the above post
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Originally posted by: Darth Simon
heh, looks like that supershadow site had a 'hostile takeover' so to speak


Ahahahahaaaaa....
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heh, looks like that supershadow site had a 'hostile takeover' so to speak


I'm all broken up about it too....
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All of you people would be wise not to mention Mickey Suttle aka Stupidshadow, a sad, fucking bastard peverted lonely man that needs a life, in this website. We never want that name here.
"A Jedi can feel the force flow through him".
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He's dead, we have won go to supershadow.com


WE'VE WON!!!!!!!!!
"A Jedi can feel the force flow through him".
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Peace and justice have been restored to the galaxy...for now....
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Am I the only one here who pretty much agrees with that column?
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Originally posted by: Asha
Am I the only one here who pretty much agrees with that column?


Well, like I said- aside from the author being a prick about it, he did have some valid points about the film. He was just too consumed in being all high-and-mighty.
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[Yoda] "Much anger, I sense in him." [/Yoda]

LOL at Supershadow.com. Far more efffective than any mandatory disclaimer from LFL.

(And nice boobies, too! )

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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that column did more bashing to sw fans then the movies. it refers to someones dislike of marketing tie-ins as a reason why Star Wars should be forgotten. It essentially says all the SW movies (OT included) are shitty kids movies that are overhyped and should have been forgotten years ago.

and mostly its just seems like some stupid rant from a guy who has to belittle others to make himself feel good, who calls people 'geeks' and tells them to 'go outside' all the while sitting behind his computer writing an online article for a sci fi magazine. but we're the geeks who need to go outside.

at one point he claims lucas is not 'one of the great, visionary directors of all time' only to later on say that he'll admit that the films were 'landmark filmmaking' and 'cutting edge' but then says that they are 'always and forever, movies for anxious, easily stupefied 10-year-old boys' totally contridicting himself as he does at various other points in the article. So now just because the bar that was set by a film has be later raised, it means that films contribution to the bars current height no longer matters?

he refers to lines of the script as 'seemingly written by that slightly twitchy tin-eared dweeb who sat next you in fifth-grade algebra, sweatingly' yet astounds us with his many wonderful sexual and porn references that sound like the ramblings of teenagers who just for the first time heard about sex and think its cool (and necessary) to make references to it in every other sentance.

maybe if he got off his high horse and didnt think he was all hi and mighty i could give some small bit of credence to anything he said in that article. but as it stands now its basically some ramblings of some immature adolescense who doesnt even have the journalistic integrity to check up on sources that he quotes as fact in his column. i doubt he even read the article after he wrote it, because if he did he would have noticed that half the garbage he 'accuses' star wars fans of in that article he himself is guilty of in that very same article.

-Darth Simon
Why Anakin really turned to the dark side:
"Anakin, You're father I am" - Yoda
"No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!" - Anakin

0100111001101001011011100110101001100001

*touchy people disclaimer*
some or all of the above comments are partially exaggerated to convey a point, none of the comments are meant as personal attacks on anyone mentioned or reference in the above post
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I don't mind his tone, and I don't think his comments about die-hard, prequel-obsessed Star Wars fans are that far off the mark. Have you checked out TheForce.net recently?

If I had one criticism about that article, it would be that the over-merchandising of Star Wars is nothing new ... Return of the Jedi's use in advertising was just as nauseating as Sith's (C3PO cereal, anyone?).

Oh, and the Henson bit is wrong. Henson himself really didn't have much/anything to do with Yoda ... most of the people who were involved are still alive and kicking.
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...which is meaningless if Lucas doesn't use them. I think this was the point he was getting at.

And I agree about TFn. I've been a much happier SW fan since I left those boards.

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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Originally posted by: Asha
I don't mind his tone, and I don't think his comments about die-hard, prequel-obsessed Star Wars fans are that far off the mark. Have you checked out TheForce.net recently?


i dont read TheForce.net. but I also dont see how/what limits his comments to only prequal-obsessed Star Wars fans. The article struck me as more agains SW Fans in general, maybe even agains Sci Fi, fans or even just people that are fans of a particular series/franchise.

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If I had one criticism about that article, it would be that the over-merchandising of Star Wars is nothing new ... Return of the Jedi's use in advertising was just as nauseating as Sith's (C3PO cereal, anyone?).


agreed, some of the merchandising was great, i personally love the M&M's but ive also been saying they need Dark Chocolate M&M's for years, and when they came out with them i was like, damn, that was a great tie-in. Most movies have their standard line of merchandising, generally toys/shirts. bigger movies have larger collections of toys, and start getting into other areas. also, i think its more a hollywood thing in general than a SW thing. if they can make a quick buck off of it then their all for it, it doesnt matter if the connection makes sense, just that both parties are willing to work together. but again, that has nothing to do with SW inparticular, which is another qualm i have with the article.

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Oh, and the Henson bit is wrong. Henson himself really didn't have much/anything to do with Yoda ... most of the people who were involved are still alive and kicking.


see, but the guy didnt even bother to look into any of that stuff when he wrote the article, which is why i have a problem about most of what he says, because he apparently didnt do any research for it, just assumed he knew everything.
*edit* so like MeBe said, that wasnt his overall point, but for me, if you make a point, even a valid one, that is based in falsities, then you loose some of your credence. and when you do it more then once, or during your whole arguement you loose more and more credence.
Why Anakin really turned to the dark side:
"Anakin, You're father I am" - Yoda
"No. No. That's not true! That's impossible!" - Anakin

0100111001101001011011100110101001100001

*touchy people disclaimer*
some or all of the above comments are partially exaggerated to convey a point, none of the comments are meant as personal attacks on anyone mentioned or reference in the above post
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"but for me, if you make a point, even a valid one, that is based in falsities, then you loose some of your credence. and when you do it more then once, or during your whole arguement you loose more and more credence. "

Agreed. Apparently this guy didn't even know that Henson was the voice for Yoda.

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: Sadly, I believe the prequels are beyond repair.
<span class=“Bold”>JediRandy: They’re certainly beyond any repair you’re capable of making.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>MeBeJedi: You aren’t one of us.
<span class=“Bold”>Go-Mer-Tonic: I can’t say I find that very disappointing.</span></span>

<span class=“Italics”>JediRandy: I won’t suck as much as a fan edit.</span>

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Stuart Freeborn is YODA!!!! not Frank Oz.
"A Jedi can feel the force flow through him".
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Agreed. Apparently this guy didn't even know that Henson was the voice for Yoda.


Frank Oz ... not Henson.

Wendy Froud also had a hand in designing Yoda.
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Who the hell is Stuart Freeborn? Frank Oz is Yoda.
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
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Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com
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What???

You don't know the great Stuart Freeborn the MAN THAT MADE YODA!!!!!!!!!!

responsible for everything.................


He is Yoda. period
"A Jedi can feel the force flow through him".
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I've never heard the name mentioned before in my life. Designer of the puppet, I'm assuming?
"You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is 'Never get involved in a land war in Asia'."
--Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), The Princess Bride
-------------------------
Kevin A
Webmaster/Primary Cynic
kapgar.typepad.com
kapgar.com