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Things that make you realise you're getting older

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  1. It takes two attempt and a loud exhale to get off the couch

  2. The MILF section on adult sites all look considerably younger than you

  3. Received a text last month: “In 7 years time the 80’s will be 50 years ago”. I laughed instantly because the 80’s were only a few… ah shit.
     

On the bright side you give less fucks about the trivial stuff than before. Now get off my lawn!

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Minor correction on #3. In 7 years time, only the year 1980 will be 50 years ago. And it was still culturally the '70s in that year.

Just some guy.

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1993 was 30 years ago…

I still catch myself saying 20 years ago.

I’m not really that much of a movie purist. I really should’ve thought my name out a bit more.

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The other day I told an old girlfriend she’s a gorgeous girl. Later on I remembered she’s 35 years old, so it would be more appropriate to say she’s a gorgeous woman. She still appreciated my compliments, so I guess I’m fine there.

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That i’ve spent like almost half of my lifetime being a member of this site and now am nearly twice the age i was when i first started posting here.

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Seeing kids use a hand gesture of holding a cell phone with their whole hand to mime talking on the phone instead of the thumb-pinky thing you’d think of or do.

Also, today I pivoted away from my own car as I got close to it with the thought, “That can’t be my car; it’s got a carseat in the back.”

I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.