Things imperialscum hates (and other depressing goings on in his mind) ***FIRST POST UPDATED AGAIN, NOW WITH MOAR LYNX!*** — Page 2

imperialscum said:

AntcuFaalb said:

CP3S said:

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

I use these: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EONH04

I've been using them for as long as I can remember. My parents do as well.

Instructions: Use just like toilet paper. Continue to use new ones until they come back completely clean. Flush.

But I feel like this is a waste of money (as well as world's resources). Not to mention it is way worse than water/bidet.

How is it way worse than a bidet? The product is quite... moist.

By the time I'm done, the final wipe looks the same as it did before it went on its little journey.

Plus, I do back-to-front and front-to-back.

I'm absurdly meticulous with ass cleanliness. My crack shines when I'm done.

AntcuFaalb said:

imperialscum said:

AntcuFaalb said:

CP3S said:

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

I use these: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EONH04

I've been using them for as long as I can remember. My parents do as well.

Instructions: Use just like toilet paper. Continue to use new ones until they come back completely clean. Flush.

But I feel like this is a waste of money (as well as world's resources). Not to mention it is way worse than water/bidet.

How is it way worse than a bidet? The product is quite... moist.

By the time I'm done, the final wipe looks the same as it did before it went on its little journey.

Plus, I do back-to-front and front-to-back.

I'm absurdly meticulous with ass cleanliness. My crack shines when I'm done.

You've got the wet-ass feeling of bidet while keeping the close-hand-proximity-involvement of regular wipes. The worst of both worlds.

Not to mention the extra cost.

As for your shiny crack, there's a part of me that questions if that's even healthy?

timdiggerm said:

AntcuFaalb said:

imperialscum said:

AntcuFaalb said:

CP3S said:

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

I use these: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EONH04

I've been using them for as long as I can remember. My parents do as well.

Instructions: Use just like toilet paper. Continue to use new ones until they come back completely clean. Flush.

But I feel like this is a waste of money (as well as world's resources). Not to mention it is way worse than water/bidet.

How is it way worse than a bidet? The product is quite... moist.

By the time I'm done, the final wipe looks the same as it did before it went on its little journey.

Plus, I do back-to-front and front-to-back.

I'm absurdly meticulous with ass cleanliness. My crack shines when I'm done.

You've got the wet-ass feeling of bidet while keeping the close-hand-proximity-involvement of regular wipes. The worst of both worlds.

Not to mention the extra cost.

As for your shiny crack, there's a part of me that questions if that's even healthy?

It's probably unhealthy if you're as meticulous as I am.

Your analysis makes sense, however.

I'm still sticking with 'em. ;-)

AntcuFaalb said:

timdiggerm said:

AntcuFaalb said:

imperialscum said:

AntcuFaalb said:

CP3S said:

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

I use these: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EONH04

I've been using them for as long as I can remember. My parents do as well.

Instructions: Use just like toilet paper. Continue to use new ones until they come back completely clean. Flush.

But I feel like this is a waste of money (as well as world's resources). Not to mention it is way worse than water/bidet.

How is it way worse than a bidet? The product is quite... moist.

By the time I'm done, the final wipe looks the same as it did before it went on its little journey.

Plus, I do back-to-front and front-to-back.

I'm absurdly meticulous with ass cleanliness. My crack shines when I'm done.

You've got the wet-ass feeling of bidet while keeping the close-hand-proximity-involvement of regular wipes. The worst of both worlds.

Not to mention the extra cost.

As for your shiny crack, there's a part of me that questions if that's even healthy?

It's probably unhealthy if you're as meticulous as I am.

Your analysis makes sense, however.

I'm still sticking with 'em. ;-)

Hey, as long as you're reasonably clean and not harming yourself, I would never try to actually stop you from cleaning your ass however you please.

AntcuFaalb said:

imperialscum said:

AntcuFaalb said:

CP3S said:

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

I use these: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EONH04

I've been using them for as long as I can remember. My parents do as well.

Instructions: Use just like toilet paper. Continue to use new ones until they come back completely clean. Flush.

But I feel like this is a waste of money (as well as world's resources). Not to mention it is way worse than water/bidet.

How is it way worse than a bidet? The product is quite... moist.

By the time I'm done, the final wipe looks the same as it did before it went on its little journey.

Plus, I do back-to-front and front-to-back.

I'm absurdly meticulous with ass cleanliness. My crack shines when I'm done.

Apart from the already mentioned stuff, what if you have a really soft and sticky mess with huge chunks still attached around your rear. With water you can easily and very quickly remove it and make it completely clean. With toilet paper or wet tissues you need a lot of time and rubbing. While wet tissues might be more effective in the final stages, they don't do much better than toilet paper in the initial stages of operation. And if you have any hair back there, with paper/tissues you will first make it an even bigger mess before it will get better.

imperialscum said:

AntcuFaalb said:

imperialscum said:

AntcuFaalb said:

CP3S said:

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

I use these: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EONH04

I've been using them for as long as I can remember. My parents do as well.

Instructions: Use just like toilet paper. Continue to use new ones until they come back completely clean. Flush.

But I feel like this is a waste of money (as well as world's resources). Not to mention it is way worse than water/bidet.

How is it way worse than a bidet? The product is quite... moist.

By the time I'm done, the final wipe looks the same as it did before it went on its little journey.

Plus, I do back-to-front and front-to-back.

I'm absurdly meticulous with ass cleanliness. My crack shines when I'm done.

Apart from the already mentioned stuff, what if you have a really soft and sticky mess with huge chunks still attached around your rear. With water you can easily and very quickly remove it and make it completely clean. With toilet paper or wet tissues you need a lot of time and rubbing. While wet tissues might be more effective in the final stages, they don't do much better than toilet paper in the initial stages of operation. And if you have any hair back there, with paper/tissues you will first make it an even bigger mess before it will get better.

Given that his crack shines, I doubt hair is an issue?

TV's Frink said:

You guys all officially suck.

lol

When using a bidet....how do you know when you're officially "done"?

You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive.

Davnes007 said:

When using a bidet....how do you know when you're officially "done"?

Well you can just use your hand to help clean it up in the first place... after all it is not a radioactive waste you are touching, it only your shit. And assuming you properly wash your hands after a toilet use, it shouldn't make any problem.

TV's Frink said:

Pets!

http://originaltrilogy.com/forum/topic.cfm/How-to-Protect-Furniture-from-Cats/post/667768/#TopicPost667768

Well not pets as animals but the concept of humans having animals as pets.

I hate cloudy weather. There is nothing more beautiful than a clear blue sky with perhaps a few white clouds to make some nice contrast.

AntcuFaalb said:

CP3S said:

I feel like in 2013 there really ought to be a better way to clean up after having a bowel movement. I mean, we wash our hands with soap and water to remove invisible germs, we have hand sanitizer bottles waiting in nearly every doorway, but we can't be bothered to come up with better methods for cleaning fresh poop off of our bodies beyond wiping at ourselves blindly with a dry square (or wad of squares).

I use these: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008EONH04

I've been using them for as long as I can remember. My parents do as well.

Instructions: Use just like toilet paper. Continue to use new ones until they come back completely clean. Flush.

These are incredible. I use the Cottonelle ones myself.

Also: Behold, the Washlet.

Tyrphanax said:

Also: Behold, the Washlet.

It is just amazing.

A wet-cement like poo chunks can only be removed from your rear with a decent amount of water. Any kind of paper or wet tissue are ineffective against that kind of particular composition. Unless you want to spend half a roll on it and scratch your rear. If there are any hair, things are even more impossible.