Bingowings said:
I can't play your crawl on this browser but the player generated a still which pointed out an error.
"Terrestrial" means pertaining to Earth so the sentence containing that word doesn't really make sense.
Naboo is Earth-like since it has more than one terrain, but I'm open to criticism and I can change the word no problem. Thing is I didn't want to use the word "peaceful" in the same part of the crawl as the word "peace."
Terrestrial doesn't work on many levels.
For one thing this is a mythical fantasy realm where, to our knowledge, there is no Earth.
Also the word is like saying Naboo is French, rather than like France, of Earth rather than like Earth.
My advice would be to change it so I'm happy you have.
Bingowings said:
Terrestrial doesn't work on many levels.
For one thing this is a mythical fantasy realm where, to our knowledge, there is no Earth.
Also the word is like saying Naboo is French, rather than like France, of Earth rather than like Earth.
well yes "terrestrial" sounds strange, better leave it out or change to "inhabited" or something similar meanig it is "Earth-like"
@Bingo you aren't 100% correct, Star Wars states to have been: "in a galaxy far far away", so our worlds could coexist ;-)
one thing I find worded bad is the end: "... before a war can begin" - hm, sounds not as if they are there to STOP it, more like to delay it ...
maybe put it more in line as "before the conflict would end in (a) war" ?
I said "to our knowledge".
I don't think you need to mention it's Earth-like status, it's doesn't pertain to the plot. Indeed in the current version Naboo is hollow and has an interior ocean which is a significant difference referenced in the plot.
Once you isolate why the Federation wants the place you can describe the place as having those qualities.
For example, the Cowboys of Jupiter desire the lush green pastures of Naboo.
Inhabited just means people live there.
I see. I thinking I should just remove the word "Terrestrial" completely from the crawl.
Bingowings said:
I don't think you need to mention it's Earth-like status, it's doesn't pertain to the plot. Indeed in the current version Naboo is hollow and has an interior ocean which is a significant difference referenced in the plot.
[...]
Inhabited just means people live there.
That was my point, to tell the audience, this is a "living" planet, not like Hoth or other places, that hold no interest for humans
sure, if "Naboo" is to have special resources, this should be mentioned in the beginning, as to why "Trade Federation" is there ...
if "Naboo" would be "Alderaan", I think "peaceful" or "pacifistic" is the better word (but too much "peace" in the text sounds awful)
if "Naboo" would be "Alderaan", I think "peaceful" or "pacifistic" is the better word (but too much "peace" in the text sounds awful)
That's exactly why I didn't want to use "peaceful" and "peace" in same part of the crawl.
hm, did you play "TIE Fighter" the video game?
I remember Emperor Palpatine gave a speech during the into:
"... soon Peace and Order will be restored throughout the galaxy."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puvD_FDS_jE
now take Obi-Wans "... the Jedi kinghts were the guardians of peace and justice in the old Republic ..."
maybe start with "Order and Justice" going to "now Peace is disturbed" over finishing "a/the defenseless planet Naboo" ?
just a suggestion to cut down the "peace" repeat and mirror what a Jedi and/or a Sith thinks about it ...
brimforge said:
hm, did you play "TIE Fighter" the video game?
I remember Emperor Palpatine gave a speech during the into:
"... soon Peace and Order will be restored throughout the galaxy."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puvD_FDS_jE
now take Obi-Wans "... the Jedi kinghts were the guardians of peace and justice in the old Republic ..."
maybe start with "Order and Justice" going to "now Peace is disturbed" over finishing "a/the defenseless planet Naboo" ?
just a suggestion to cut down the "peace" repeat and mirror what a Jedi and/or a Sith thinks about it ...
Interesting concept, though I wouldn't called Naboo "defenseless" since they do have their own fleet of Star Fighters...which we sadly never see again after the start of Episode 2.
well IF you keep "Naboo" not making it "Alderaan" (which is to what Leia tells us a pacifistic society), they haven't got any planetary shields or ion cannons like we see on Hoth or Endor ...
so they could have those "fighters" more as escort (like Bespin) or for recon, if people gone missing in the woods or something ;-)
Naboo isn't the battle ready/worn world, as the others we know - so is it how I observed this
brimforge said:
well IF you keep "Naboo" not making it "Alderaan" (which is to what Leia tells us a pacifistic society), they haven't got any planetary shields or ion cannons like we see on Hoth or Endor ...
But they did have armies. True, most of whom were kept in detention camp, but the point is Naboo wasn't completely defenseless. Also their soldiers did have weapons, and even the queen has some blasters hidden in the armrest of her thrown.
I see Naboo as being peaceful, but at the same time not so much a pushover. They're still willing to defend themselves, yet they hope that they never have to.
Assuming the blockade runner is from Alderaan - there were a few dozen armed guards waiting for those Stormtroopers, and Leia didn't go down without a fight either. You could argue that *almost* pacifist approach could match Naboo given the correct presentation.
BlueCardinal said:
To your parallel, Luke didn't go to the Death Star to destroy it. He went to try to convert Anakin back to good.
I was referring to the first Death Star. The one from "A New Hope."
RotJ:R
Should all ewoks blink, or none of them?
Preferred Saga:
1/2: Hal9000
3: L8wrtr
4/5: Adywan
6-9: Hal9000
I think the blinking Ewok looks kind of creepy ... if one does like it, ok but for me I would prefer the gaze they have, just make them tougher or cut them out to a minimum and bring in more ground rebel forces!
nightstalkerpoet said:
RotJ:R
Should all ewoks blink, or none of them?
I think adding some blinks here and there as Ady did to the creatures in the bar in Star Wars would make the Ewoks a bit more lifelike.
Just not creepy new eyes like the Blus.
I actually find them creepier with unblinking eyes. The look of their eyes was never something that bothered me.
I personally feel their noses should wiggle
Preferred Saga:
1/2: Hal9000
3: L8wrtr
4/5: Adywan
6-9: Hal9000
I personally feel anything that can be done to make them look more real should be done.
There are a few convincing shots, but most aren't at all.
Anybody else hate that shot of Vader stepping on Obi-Wans cloak after he kills him? Like he's goin' "HUH?? Where'd he go, George??"
This is the same guy who helped the Empire bring the Jedi to near extinction and he hasn't seen that happen before? Doesn't seem right to me.
I know a shot needs to be there to show the audience that Ben did in fact disappear, but I'd really like to see a new shot of the empty cloak hitting the ground replace that one.
Or maybe I've got it all wrong. I don't know the PT or EU, so maybe that was the first time a Jedi "became one with the force" (giggity) and Vader truly didn't know what just happened.
According to the PT, no one know how to make themselves a Force Ghost until Qui-Gon figured it out after he died (?!), and he taught Yoda who taught Obi-Wan. Which, of course, begs the question on how Anakin himself does it.
Star Wars Revisited Wordpress
Star Wars Visual Comparisons WordPress
Anakin was crazy powerful though. Or is intended to be. It doesn't seem beyond possibility he would figure it out quickly.
Preferred Saga:
1/2: Hal9000
3: L8wrtr
4/5: Adywan
6-9: Hal9000
doubleofive said:
According to the PT, no one know how to make themselves a Force Ghost until Qui-Gon figured it out after he died (?!), and he taught Yoda who taught Obi-Wan. Which, of course, begs the question on how Anakin himself does it.
Wow, that's really stupid.
The ghost thing has been weird since ROTJ though.
Why didn't Anakin disappear? I think it would work nicely as a confirmation that Luke did in fact save him and make more sense that he appears to Luke along with Obi-Wan and Yoda. It would also be a cool visual to see his head disappear and the suit go limp and work metaphorically as his good self goes on to the spirit world leaving his dark side behind- the suit being a manifestation of his evil.
Umm.. that got a bit.. hmm..
Any ideas on how Revisited will handle Jedi death and force ghost tomfoolery?
Do all Jedis disappear and become ghosts when they die? Only "Jedi Masters"? Only Obi-Wan and Yoda?
Will Any more sense be made of it all?
doubleofive said:
According to the PT, no one know how to make themselves a Force Ghost until Qui-Gon figured it out after he died (?!), and he taught Yoda who taught Obi-Wan. Which, of course, begs the question on how Anakin himself does it.
Well if you buy the idea that a person can still learn new techniques after they die, then Anakin's appearance makes more sense. In fact, George may have created the character of Qui-gon purely to 'fix' this inconsistency.
I don't think it's necessary to explain away inconsistencies such as Force ghosts though, as attempts to do so usually just draw attention to the problems themselves. Nevertheless, my prequel-free theory is that Yoda (and perhaps the entire Jedi order 800 years ago) knew how to continue in the Force after death, but this mental training was lost and Yoda stopped training new apprentices centuries ago. Obi-wan was the first student in a long time to learn this technique from Yoda, and he actually taught Anakin the mental states necessary to accomplish this feat, though Anakin only recognizes this once he dies.
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)