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The Star Wars - Star Wars Retold

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A novel series of great ambition.
Written in the machete order, with changes ranging from subtle to grand, this retelling may be controversial or confusing.
I will approach this project as if I were a fan-editor, except with endless possibilities, not being limited to assets or footage. My outline is as follows:

A New Hope - The Story of Luke discovering his heritage and the mythical power of the force. Mostly retains the story of the film.

The Empire Strikes Back - Three years following A New Hope, Luke is a rebel hero, and soon becomes a Jedi Padawan. Retains the story of the film

Before the Dark Times - Having learnt of his true lineage, Luke confronts Obi-Wan and asks to learn the truth. The novel tells the story of Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the Jedi, set 29 years prior to A New Hope

A Menace Revealed - Set 4 years after BDT, Anakin is now a Padawan under Obi-Wan. The plot is akin to AOTC but drastic changes are made, including showing numerous Sith Lords and raising moral and political questions that may change one’s interpretation of the saga.

Shroud of the Dark Side - Set 6 years after AMR, the Clone War is coming to an end, the plot remain mostly unchanged from ROTS, except Anakin is more of a tragic figure, selflessly striving for justice, rather than acting unjust and selfish.

Return of the Jedi - Return of the Jedi with minor changes.

Seeing as this is a fan project, I will happily take recommendations and am eager to discuss this project. If anyone has ideas and concepts they’d like to share, or experience with writing or art, I would be most grateful for any help of any kind.
Thank you.

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Holy cow I do want to read this. Are you still going to make Luke and Leia siblings? If so, how do you plan to deal with this in the prequels?

I’m interested in knowing what you have in mind for the PT.

And do you plan on writing TFA/TLJ ones too?

you guys did it! thank you guys so much! 😄

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NeverarGreat said:

Ambitious project! But shouldn’t this be in the writing subforum?

Yes, I thought about that. Originally I put this in fan projects, then someone - I’m assuming a moderator - put it in the fan edits section. I assume I’d have to create a new discussion to move it?

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WHOOSH!

originaltrilogy.com Moderator

Where were you in '77?

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HUZZAH

Collipso said:

Holy cow I do want to read this. Are you still going to make Luke and Leia siblings? If so, how do you plan to deal with this in the prequels?

I’m interested in knowing what you have in mind for the PT.

And do you plan on writing TFA/TLJ ones too?

As for Luke and Leia, yes, they’ll be siblings, I’d also like to lessen the incestuous stuff a bit, just because.
For the PT section I’ll mostly be playing with political-ethical stuff, though hopefully in a more mature and entertaining way than Lucas.
As for the Disney films, I’ll most likely stop after BA/ROTJ, having that be the “Happy Ending.” With Luke redeeming Anakin, Luke destroying the remnants of the Sith, becoming Prince Luke, and creating a Jedi order that teaches balance in the force. Essentially, have all things become happy and dandy, and the story is finished.

I’d also like to add that the names are practically place holders till someone can give me some more Star Wars sounding titles

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Here is chapter one, I’ll every now and then be posting pages and chapters so that ye guys can get a feel for what I’m going for.

CHAPTER ONE: ON THE RUN

There was silence. Silence was all there was above the backwater planet that was Tatooine. There were no ships coming and no ships going.

Absolutely silent.

Then, the silence was broken. The sound of blaster cannons rang out through the vacuum.
A corvette, damaged and old, ran from a pursuing vessel, the Imperial Star Destroyer named “The Devastator.” The Imperial Star Destroyers were oddly shaped, like a stout dagger, a flattened pyramid, the tip pointing toward its adversary, its adversary wouldn’t last long.

The red blaster bolts of the corvette struck the Devastator, but did no damage. The green bolts of the Star Destroyer could barely find its minuscule target, but had no trouble once it did.
Aboard the corvette were two droids, the protocol droid C-3PO, and the astromech droid R2-D2.

The protocol droids were as humans in form, yet rudimentary in design, with clunky bodies and limbs, which had limited movement, the faces of these droids came in seemingly random styles. C-3PO had the likeness of a shocked man, and was plated in gold, save his lower left leg, which was silver.

The astromechs were stout things, coming to about the navel of the average man. These droids had cylindrical bodies, on either side of these were stiff arms, attached to the frame just below the start of the neckless head. These arms ended with trapezoid wheel protections. Underneath the body was a third wheel, which could hide inside the droid’s frame. R2-D2 was white, his head was silver and bore a blue colour scheme.

The two hurried to the front of the ship, as dozens of rebel troopers rushed to the rear of the ship, they conversed as they did so.

‘Did you hear that? They’ve shut down the main reactor, we’ll be destroyed for sure!’ Spoke C-3PO.

The astromech replied with the usual bleeps and bloops, though, their translation was different, with a higher form of speaking, and held an air of confidence and wisdom.

The noise of metal hitting metal echoed through the ship, the sound of boarding clasps attaching to the ship.

‘We’re doomed.’ Sighed C-3PO.

At the rear of the corvette, the rebel soldiers rallied, their blasters aimed at the docking bay door, their bodies pressed against the white corridor walls, crouching and proning, hiding behind door frames and loose crates, they steadied their breathing, and gripped their fear tightly.

The clattering stopped… silence.

The white docking bay door lit up, with a pink flame and sparks aplenty. The door exploded, shooting debris toward the defenders, and covering the corridor in smoke.

Blaster fire came from the obscured doorway, as did the Empire’s dreaded stormtroopers. They were clad in white armour, which covered them from head to toe. Their shortrange, quick firing blasters and their swift and brutal tactics were employed to storm locations of importance quickly. Hence their name.

They came out quickly, firing upon the defenders. First two came out, then four, then six, then eight, soon there were twelve, then twenty. The rebel troops fired back, striking the Imperial troops, but not striking them enough. Unable to keep the fight even, the rebels had to run, lest the stay and die.

They retreated, often firing back at their pursuers, but they took losses aplenty.

As the smoke around the docking bay began to disperse, and the rear stormtroopers checked for wounded, their leader walked through the doorway.

Gargantuan, clad in an all-encompassing jumpsuit, a control box on his chest, with pauldrons and a belt, with his flowing robe and cape, and shining helm, which was domed, and had a skull like mask, which was lopsided, with bulbous lenses. His name was Darth Vader.

He stood still, hands on hips, and saw the losses. From him came the sound of raspy, rhythmic breathing. He took in the sights and continued walking, followed by his soldiers.

In the escape pod bay, C-3PO searched for his troublesome friend.

‘R2-D2 where are you?!’ He surveyed the area.

He tilted his body and saw, around the corner of the hallway, his companion, standing upright, receiving a memory card from a white robed woman. The Princess.

The rebel soldiers had been rounded up, their numbers now in the twenties, their weapons confiscated and hands tied, they were now in the hands of the Empire.

In the board room, the dark figure held in his hand the rebel captain. His own commander, his white armour bearing a blue design came up to him.

‘M’lord, the Death Star plans are not in the ships main computer.’

The Dark Lord turned his head back to the captain.

‘Tell me, Captain Antilles, where are those files you received, what have you done with those plans?!’

The Dark Lord’s voice unnaturally was deep, and sounded akin to a radio receiving a poor transmission. It was brassy and rough, with reverb, and clipping levels as if it were the noise of someone too close to a recording device. The voice pattern itself was odd. His vowels were elongated and weirdly accented, he rolled his Rs, and he too often emphasised words.

He grabbed the officer by the throat with his left hand, and slowly but steadily raised him.

‘I don’t know what you speak of! This is a consular ship, we’re on a diplomatic mission!’ He forced out, gasping for air.

The Dark Lord tightened his grip, and spoke with a harsher voice.

'If this is a consular ship, where are the ambassadors?!"

There was a crushing noise as the rebel died, the Imperial had crushed Antilles’ wind pipe. Vader threw the corpse at the wall and turned to his soldier.

‘Commander, you will tear this ship apart till you’ve found those plans, bring me the passengers, I want them alive!’

In the pod bay, R2 and 3-Po climbed aboard a pod as several rebels stood by the pod doors. Once inside the door shut, and each rebel began launching the pods.

‘Why did they do that?’ Asked 3-PO of R2.

The astromech beeped in answer.

‘None of my business, what are you talking about? Are you sure this pod is safe?’

Their pod fell toward Tatooine, as did the others. They were safe… for now.

Aboard the corvette the stormtroopers had finished rounding up the rebels. They escorted the Princess to Vader. She was first to speak.

'Darth Vader, only you could be so bold. Your irrational actions have caused even more mindless destruction! The senate will not sit still for this, when they hear how you attacked a diplo-"

‘Don’t dare feign surprise, your highness, you’ll not trick me into believing your mercy mission story, Antilles already tried that. I want to know what happened to the plans!’

The Princess showed a face of shock and disgust toward the Dark Lord, whom towered over her immensely.

‘I can see you have no reason. You are a cruel mo-’

‘And you are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!’

With that he marched off, followed by his commander.

His commander was now unmasked, showing a middle-aged, brown skinned face, with charming features and afro textured hair and beard which was greying.

‘Lord Vader, I must say that holding her is dangerous. If knowledge of this were to spread it could cause sympathy for the rebellion.’

Vader turned to him.

‘She is my last link to the rebel base, Fordo.’

‘She’ll never talk.’

‘Leave that to me.’

As they turned around a corner they were approached by an Imperial naval officer.

‘Lord Vader, my men have notified me that they spotted escape pods leave the ship, and disperse themselves, landing on Tatooine. When your men checked the pod bay, they found that no pods remained, there were no lifeforms aboard the pods.’

Vader turned to each of his officers.

'She put the plans on one of those pods. Commander Fordo, take a detachment down to the planet and search for those pods. There will be no one to stop us this time!"

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Changes and Story Tweaks

PT Era

  1. While the Jedi remain unchanged, the Sith are far more numerous. Sidious is one of three high Sith leaders, the other two being the merciful, ex-Jedi, political idealist known as Darth Clemence, - real name Yoss Vetter - and the cruel and vengeful Darth Grievous.

  2. The Clone Army is already used by the Republic, having seen action in the “First Clone War”

  3. No Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan is trained by Yoda.

  4. Anakin is Anakin Lars. The name Skywalker is a nickname / call sign, fitting with his borderline-celebrity status implied by the PT Novels and with Obi-Wan’s description of him; “He was the best star pilot in the galaxy…” He is literally “The Skywalker”

  5. Padme is a Noblewoman from Alderaan, as opposed to Naboo. After the end of the PT segment she raises Leia for a time with her close friend, King Bail Organa.

  6. The Jedi aren’t good. The Jedi in the PT were quite evil in many ways, but it was somewhat ignored by Lucas and they were painted in a kinder light than what I think was needed. Instead of the Jedi being good, and the Sith evil, I’d like to depict them both as extremes, neither better, nor worse than the other. Both Orders are just as cruel and dangerous.

  7. Anakin isn’t evil. In ANH we see a very evil Vader whom supposedly killed the good Anakin Skywalker. In ESB we realise they are one in the same. In ROTJ we see a sad and tragic figure whom became evil under unknown circumstances.
    I would like to depict him as a good man, striving for justice. Fighting for a corrupt Republic and an unjust Jedi order, with a family that he wishes to protect and provide a perfect and peaceful life for. On top of that, he wants revenge and wants to right wrongs.
    When the Jedi make the first move, he takes matters into his own hands, joins up with his mentor, Palpatine, and creates the Galactic Empire, believing it the best way to provide justice and peace to the galaxy. He then kills the Jedi, and the Sith - Palpatine betrayed his Sith allies. He brings peace and order in a time of war and instability. He is then punished for his actions by his closest friend and brotherly/fatherly figure, Obi-Wan.
    For his troubles he rewarded with the loss of his family, the amputation of limbs, full body burns - likely causing the loss of his genitals, the loss of all round health, and loss of all happiness.

  8. The Death Star isn’t in construction stages until long after the Jedi Purge begins.

  9. Anakin doesn’t kill Padme directly, but rather harms her health enough to significantly shorten her life - ala Hal 9000 edit.

  10. Obi-Wan exiles himself on Tatooine primarily for guilt. He has his hair in my version of the Padawan hairstyle as to show him thinking he made a mistake, feels guilt, and thinks himself to know less than he thought.

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I think that the way you’re talking about the Jedi not being good is exactly what Lucas had in mind with the prequels, and that’s how I view them. The execution wasn’t really convincing though.

Loved the Skywalker nickname idea, and the Padme noblewoman idea, and the several Clone Wars idea too. It always bothered me how the clone warS was only one War.

The only one I’m not sure is the Obi-Wan exiling himself for guild. I think it’s pretty badass when both he and Yoda do whatever they can to take down an entire empire.

And by the way, I had read the first quarter of your chapter one and just finished it, and I really loved it. Keep it up!

you guys did it! thank you guys so much! 😄

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Thank you for the kind words, Collipso.
I must admit that I wasn’t entirely sure about the Obi-Wan idea, though I’d certainly like to show him as feeling guilt and being a little… off come ANH.

I must also say that the Skywalker name and Padme being from Alderaan ideas came from this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ND8PP2nfGOg
Though those ideas are quite good, the rest of what the video has to offer is pretty silly to me.

Also, it might be good say that the Hal 9000 edits were what inspired me to start this and are also what I’ll use as a base for my PT stuff rather than the theatrical releases

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EXCERPTS FROM THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS

Chapter One - Entrance of Vader

As the smoke around the docking bay began to disperse, and the rear stormtroopers checked for wounded, their leader walked through the doorway.

Gargantuan, clad in an all-encompassing jumpsuit, a control box on his chest, with a silver striped gorget and a belt, with his flowing robe and cape, and shining helm, which was domed, and had a skull like mask, which was lopsided, with bulbous lenses. His name was Darth Vader.

Chapter One - Leia and Vader

'Darth Vader, only you could be so bold. Your irrational actions have caused even more mindless destruction! The senate will not sit still for this, when they hear how you attacked a diplo-"

‘Don’t dare feign surprise, your highness, you’ll not trick me into believing your mercy mission story, Antilles already tried that. I want to know what happened to the plans!’

The Princess showed a face of shock and disgust toward the Dark Lord, whom towered over her immensely.

‘I can see you have no reason. You are a cruel mo-’

‘And you are part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away!’

With that he marched off, followed by his commander.

Chapter Two - Luke and Owen

Owen and Luke looked at the droids on sale, Owen speaking to the Jawas, and Luke searching for the right droids.

He saw many dull, scratched and banged up droids, all in disrepair. Then he saw the shining 3PO and clean R2.

‘Uncle Owen, what about that one?’

The aged Owen looked at the droids, looked back at Luke, and nodded.

‘Make sure he speaks Bocce.’

Luke was a fine young man. The adolescent had shaggy, honey-coloured hair, and tanned skin, with fair, round eyes of a strong shade of blue, he had a strong jawline and a dimpled chin.

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Wow, great! Are you creating the extended and new lines yourself or were they in the original script?

Good job nonetheless!

you guys did it! thank you guys so much! 😄

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Thank you, friend. For the most part things are what I come up with, though I do keep other sources in mind. I write most this whilst watching the movie on my second monitor, which I use as an overall layout for what to put in. Some stuff will be me going off my memory, some will be from deleted scenes or the scripts, some will be exactly the same as what was in the film.
The first two “Episodes” will be near identical to the films, but after that, more drastic and story based changes will be made

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Are you writing this series as if were originally a book series?
If so, then having the main characters pushed off to a framing device
for the PT would have been really annoying to the readers.

So, how about making the PT a little like the Godfather II?

Before the Dark Times - What if you create an arc for Luke including the completing of his training (as Anakin begins his),
Yoda’s verifying Vader, and Obi-wan trying to get Luke to understand his “point of view”
(which the readers wouldn’t get yet since Anakin is still good and innocent)?
Maybe there is a climax to this arc that makes Yoda and Obi-wan unable to contact Luke anymore
(until the series ends in RotJ).
You could end this story with Luke going to Tatooine for the meeting with Lando and Chewie,
but stopping first at Obi-wan’s home to read his journal and learn the next part of the story.

A Menace Revealed - How about borrowing from the Shadows of the Empire comic that follows Boba Fett
as he delivers Han to Jabba? Since Attack of the Clones reveals the beginning of the Clones,
showing Boba Fett taking on other bouny hunters to claim his prize could be interesting.

Shroud of the Dark Side - This one is the hardest. Need to find a complimentary story with Luke Leia and Chewy
that builds to RotJ but also works in conjunction with RotS.

This way there is a forward momentum through all six books even as you reveal the past.

And it gives you a chance to use your creativity to add your own story elements to the saga!

Just an idea.

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Oooo… Thank you for the idea BlackHawk. Very interesting idea, which I think you’ve sold me on.

I think that the way I’d use this idea would be mostly to flesh out the main characters - primarily Anakin, Luke, Han, Leia, and Obi-Wan - along with the ethical questions and themes, rather than just the story. And so, something with Boba would be a bit out of place. But the idea is something I feel myself falling in love with.
Switching time frames would definitely work with Star Wars’ back-and-forth style of storytelling.

With the idea of Luke going to Obi-Wan’s home would work well, with Luke building his lightsaber there, learning from Kenobi’s journal as you said - could reveal much more than Obi-Wan would openly say to Luke - and finding Kenobi’s old Jedi armour - which I will have him wear in the last part of the Saga

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Is Anakin going to be a young adult/someone in his late teens, or is he going to be a kid in your Episode I? If you’re going to make him a young adult, but want to preserve the whole “attached to his mother” aspect of the original TPM, I’d suggest make he be responsible for Owen, and leaving Tatooine = leaving Owen alone. That way, the line “he didn’t want you to follow old Obi-Wan in some damned fool idealistic crusade like your father did” makes sense, and it ties the trilogy in a better way.

I’d also suggest making Episode I Obi-Wan AotC Obi-Wan, except that he’s not that wise.

If you’re going with the “Godfather II approach” though, I do not know how my suggestions would be of any use. 😄

you guys did it! thank you guys so much! 😄

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I’ll likely be having Anakin be about 14 when he meets Obi-Wan, and have him be rather mentally mature for his age. I was going to have Owen be the older brother originally, perhaps 18 years at the start.
As for the attachment to his mother, I’d probably change it so it’s more fitting for his age. I’ll be keeping the death of his mother, though.
As for the depiction of Kenobi, I shall likely have him a bit of a mix of AotC Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.
But as for the flow of the saga, it’s definitely one of my highest priorities, along with making the series more adult and tragic

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Sounds promising. Love your ideas so far. 😄

you guys did it! thank you guys so much! 😄

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CONCEPT PICS


Obi-Wan Original

Obi-Wan Edit

Anakin Original

Anakin Edit

Anakin vs Obi-Wan Original

Anakin vs Obi-Wan Edit

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Love the black & silver look. Reminds me of this:

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

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Danke. And, yes, I do know of that nice piece. I’m not sure if that inspired me, or reinforced my existing idea. Say, did you have a thread about the Jedi outfits at some point?

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I believe I was thinking about an older one. It was focused on Pre-Prequel ideas of what the Jedi wore. Was that you, or am I thinking of someone else

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stickydixon said:

I believe I was thinking about an older one. It was focused on Pre-Prequel ideas of what the Jedi wore. Was that you, or am I thinking of someone else

I did create this thread, and there is some discussion of Jedi outfits in there.

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.