The Scary Door

I have been texting my sister an intro from "The Scary Door" each day to bug her and I've run out. Fans of Futurama and/or The Twilight Zone please help me out with your own "Scary Door" introduction so I can annoy her for a bit longer.

Here are two I already did:

You're about to begin a journey into the unknown, a place where you might find ketchup and mustard in the same bottle. Or clear cola. You take a look in the cupboard, but you've just opened... The Scary Door.

You've just bought a ticket on a non-stop flight to a state of mind known as confusion. The plane has been sprayed for gremlins and the airline is now boarding passengers through... The Scary Door.

You think you've logged on to a website about Star Wars, but instead you've stepped into a forum full of madness. Bizarre images, random topic changes, non-tea drinkers, and unmoderated weirdos await you behind...The Scary Off-Topic Door.








(probably not relevant to your sister)

Wherever you are

Whatever you are doing

Eventually

you must leave

Inside or out

you must pass through

an entrance or an exit

One door is OURS 

You may have already passed through it many times with the illusion of safety

We aren't telling

But eventually

we WILL get you

When you pass through

THE SCARY DOOR

You try to think of something funny to say before Frink beats you to it-

Oh, carp.

You try to make something up that will really stand out the thread. Too bad, because DoubleKO is much more talented than you. Your idea sounds more disturbing than funny, you sick freak. It appears your creativity is trapped on the other side of.....The Scary Door.

^ LOL. Those were fun. I actually didn't expect any responses in this thread besides maybe a Frink poke-fun post, but even that was remarkably on-topic. More OT themed submissions welcome.

You're on a highway of information where the potholes are digital demons. You brake for an animal. It's a cat, presumptuous over the matter of a cheeseburger. You check your computer's centre console for change; there's no exit before the toll booth ahead, and your subscription is due for that other gateway... The Scary Door.

Consider, if you will, a phone booth in a land of imagination. A man disappears while talking into a shoe. You will notice it is bigger on the inside, where you find the empty suit and attached press credentials of a Mr. Kent; age: 73. You ask for a doctor but the operator connects you to... The Scary Door.

After four cups of coffee, six bran muffins, a glass of prune juice, and a sip of green tea, you make a mad dash for the rest room, only to find it locked.  You hop up and down on one foot while banging on the door and pleading for its occupant to hurry up.  Suddenly, the latch unlocks and you burst inside, only to realize you've entered...The Scary Door.

...or tea ;)

 Wilfredo Arandela says:

Eu apareci uma vez em um filme adulto chamado THE SCARY DOOR.

BANG!

Yay! I've missed Wil.

You a faceless automaton, without heart, without soul, an instinct-driven anthropomorphic maggot designed to feast upon the ebon objects of your psyche-spawned desires. You have no purpose. You are Nothing.

Then one day you make a discovery; you find love with a beautiful woman, a woman who acts as a mirror, reflecting the image of a pristine shining paradise into the shadow-shrouded depths of your vestigial mind. As you find this Love, you also discover God. You enter a new stage of personal evolution, and begin to metamorphose from homo vermis to homo deus. The veil begins to lift from your vestigial mind, which begins to expand, allowing you perceive the cosmos on a higher level than was previously possible.

But then disaster strikes! You discover your love has been one-sided as this time, and that She has been your true god all along. She spurns your worship, and exiles you from Her presence. The God whom you falsely claimed to worship denies you in turn for your feigned alliegiance, and becomes the Ignorer, the Silent God.

You are cast out into the Outer Darkness. You devolve. No longer are you the burgeoning God Man, or even the original Maggot Man; you are now vermis homo, the Man Maggot.

Darkness no longer envelops your mind, for you no longer have a mind to speak of. You wail and gnash your teeth will all the awareness of a lobotomized amoeba. You are beyond purposeless; you are Less Than Nothing.

As you lament and trevail, you finally find the One True God; It isn't your Love, or even the Silent God. The One True God is Time, and Death, Entropy, and the Destroyer of Worlds - All-Powerful, All-Consuming Chaos.

And It laughs at you, this blind, deaf, and dumb Deity, as you fall beyond ... The Scary Door.

The ring spins.  The Egyptian heiroglyphics line up.  The code is dialed to another place and time.  The fake CGI water on its side appears and you begin to walk through, only to realize you've entered...The Scary Door.

I pity the fool who can't tell stylized star constellations from Egyptian hieroglyphs ;-)

Well, it's been a while and I forgot, okay?!?!?! :)

You stand next to your father, clad in black armor, mechanized breathing the only sound as you ascend in the turbolift chute.  You know whom you are about to meet, but you suppress your anxiety, focused only on your mission to redeem your father.  Suddenly the turbolift stops and slides open.  You step forward through...The Scary Door!

I was in a club, one Friday. A lovely lady comes walking my way. She walked up and she said "Hello". I said "Hi. My name's Joe". I was lying. So was she. She said her name was Donnie but her shirt said Marie. "Once you get to know me you'll never forget me". I said "Why?" Then She Bit Me.

Imagine, if you will, that you are in your room imagining that you are imagining that you are in your room, but actually, you are not in your room, but instead in a place that looks so much like your room that you cannot tell the difference, except for the fact that you are naked and it smells vaguely of... The Scary Door.

You are about to enter a place of ridiculous evil, a place of unbridled villainy, where those who seek good and harmony are tickled until they stop enjoying it and ask you to stop. But you don't stop. You just keep on tickling them forever, because you have entered... The Scary Door.

doubleKO said:

I was in a club, one Friday. A lovely lady comes walking my way. She walked up and she said "Hello". I said "Hi. My name's Joe". I was lying. So was she. She said her name was Donnie but her shirt said Marie. "Once you get to know me you'll never forget me". I said "Why?" Then She Bit Me.

You type up a post that is entirely off topic, when suddenly your desk chair disappears from beneath you and you find yourself falling. You have fallen through... The Scary Door.

Not entirely off topic... Like The Scary Door, the song is humourous and was inspired by The Twilight Zone. I posted it in response to twist's post because she is a lovely lady who likes Donny and Marie. Not sure about the biting though.

As you are free falling with your computer, you make a second off topic post. Moments later your computer screen opens up and sucks you through. It takes you a few minutes, but eventually you realize that you've just been sucked though... Another Scary Door.

Oh noes! The 3rd dimension!

"I'm not going in there; it's restricted. You'll be deactivated for sure," you tell your stout companion, who as usual responds with an obnoxious retort.  "Don't call me a mindless philosopher you overweight lob of grease," you snap back.  "Now come along before somebody sees you."  Just then, a panel explodes next to you, and you realize that stray enemy fire nearly terminated your artificial life.  "I'm going to regret this," you mutter as you enter....The Scary Door.