The Rise of Skywalker: Untold (WIP) — Page 6

Definitely B

B is now posted on Page 1 (without the watermark). Thank you all for the feedback!

Do you think that the knight’s line could instead be integrated into the hallway walking sequence? I understand that without alteration of the line it might be confusing to hear that specific line before the severed head reveal, but the way it cuts back and forth, it is confusing the way it is imo

Hm, that’s an interesting idea. You’d need to modify the dialogue a bit to make it work, I think. So it could go something like:

KOR: We found the source of the intelligence leak and dealt with him.
Kylo: Very good, Captain.

[In the conference room]

Kylo: We had a spy in our midst, who sent a message to the Resistance. They are of no concern. With what I’ve seen…

It could work, although I’m worried that the order of information feels a bit weird (The Knights are with Kylo right before this during the helmet forging scene > they decide to wait to give their status report to Kylo until he’s storming down the hall > Kylo proudly displays Mark Hamill’s head - whom the audience already knows was dealt with, so the head is only for the council’s benefit - just to never remark on it again.

Keep in mind also that the hallway scene is the first time we’ve established to the audience that these are the “Knights of Ren,” so making it more about wordy exposition than about the dramatic weight of the introduction might hurt the pacing/tone of the scene.

Perhaps you could elaborate more on what is making the conference scene confusing?

Really it’s the rapid intercutting plus the shots of the Knight from a different scene. You are right that the hallway scene would be a strange placement, considering the scenes before and after, where it would have made more logical sense to relay that information.

It’s a conundrum. Your original take on this, without new shots, really flows the smoothest but there was the problem of the off-screen voice which sounds too much like a Kylo impression. If JJ had shot your version, it would probably have been done either in one shot or, at most, with one insert of the knight at some point during his line.

I’ve looked back at your goal with this scene which is to characterize the knights as impulsive thugs, dangerous if imprudent. So, probably best to keep it within the conference room, but ideally I think you’d want just one shot of the knight? The problem is how to get an appropriate shot… Also, and again I don’t have a good suggestion, but “knights” implies some sort of more medieval designation than “captain” if only to distinguish from the military/navy captains seated at the table, but that’s an almost insignificant thing.

Obviously it’s an homage to Jedi Knights being given military rankings (Generals) during the Clone Wars, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with all of the “Captain” lines that I was able to splice in from LEGO Force Awakens 😉.

I wonder if you saw this slightly older version, which doesn’t have the Knight backing out of the scene (and therefore has fewer cuts): https://streamable.com/jatlgf Does that version work any better for you?

You know, as far as the number of cuts, I’d say yea, it does work better imho! I think I get the idea behind the backing out shot, but yea rapid cuts in talky scenes just doesn’t seem to be the MO of this movie 🤔

T-202 said:

This version definitely works the best so far in my opinion.

This. It’s not great per say but it’s easily the best so far. I still don’t fully buy that it’s the same location and the constant cutting is a bit erratic but really the biggest issue is that it’s still not clear to me without prior knowledge that it’s one of the knights talking. Still, I think we’re getting somewhere.

The one you posted after the one T-202 is talking about is worse. The second shot of the knights feels random and redundant. I think the one T-202 complemented is solid, but I would cut to the creature’s head when the knight says "creature, skipping the shot of the officers at the table. If you need to, put it in after the severed head.

there was the problem of the off-screen voice which sounds too much like a Kylo impression.

Easy solution: make the knight female. An accent would work too.

Anakin Starkiller said:

T-202 said:

This version definitely works the best so far in my opinion.

This. It’s not great per say but it’s easily the best so far. I still don’t fully buy that it’s the same location and the constant cutting is a bit erratic but really the biggest issue is that it’s still not clear to me without prior knowledge that it’s one of the knights talking. Still, I think we’re getting somewhere.

The one you posted after the one T-202 is talking about is worse. The second shot of the knights feels random and redundant. I think the one T-202 complemented is solid, but I would cut to the creature’s head when the knight says "creature, skipping the shot of the officers at the table. If you need to, put it in after the severed head.

That’s a shot length problem, I’m afraid. The shot of the Knight is pretty short, so there has to be something else there to fill the gap. I can try slowing it down more than it is, but then you’re getting into interpolation issues. And I wanted to start the shot as early as I did specifically because I’m trying to clarify who’s speaking. Kylo orders someone to speak, cut to the Knight, they step forward, a voice starts talking (it’s not Kylo; and it’s someone with a mask, so it’s not one of the officers)… to whom else would the voice belong at that point, if not the character literally on screen?

there was the problem of the off-screen voice which sounds too much like a Kylo impression.

Easy solution: make the knight female. An accent would work too.

If someone with that sort of voice wants to play the part, I’d be down for it! Otherwise I’m limited to the resources I have available, I’m afraid.

Also…

there was the problem of the off-screen voice which sounds too much like a Kylo impression.

Let’s be honest, J.J. made the Knights themselves basically bad Kylo Ren cosplayers. Not much we can do about their design/aesthetic/role in the story at this point.

Let’s be honest, J.J. made the Knights themselves basically bad Kylo Ren cosplayers.

Actually they’re literally repurposed Kylo Ren concept art.

Hi everyone, a bit of housekeeping here. A while back, I shared my “Mission Briefing” scene; and there was some concern that my 3PO voice additions weren’t quite up to snuff. And yeah, I agree. I’ve spent the last several weeks redesigning my entire 3PO effects pipeline. The results are (I hope!) much closer to the official Lucasfilm sound design. (Plus some additional audio tweaks and refinements.) https://streamable.com/o3l4hy

Thank you to everyone who’s offered me feedback - this scene, the previous Board Meeting scene, etc. - these are the sorts of critiques that will make the final product much stronger!

I’m working on a very interesting scene that I plan on sharing soon, so stay tuned! And don’t forget to submit Kijimi lines if you want to be a part of the film!

Great to see you again, sade! I’ll make that adjustment to the volume that you mentioned; I was worried initially that it would be too jarring to make the off-screen dialogue too soft and then cut back to 3PO. Like, Merry’s dialogue in the original is even softer, but it doesn’t matter if the audience misses it, you know?

My hope is that Untold will fill that gap for you and others when it’s done. And I’ll keep some space on my hard drive in case you find the time for those lines!

Okay everyone, this is one of the most important scenes in the edit - not to mention one of the most complex; it’s also a scene that I’m creating almost entirely from scratch, so I’d really appreciate any feedback: the Dagger Vision.

A few things to keep in mind for context: remember that in Untold, nobody knows about Palpatine’s return yet - not the Resistance, and not the audience. Also, Poe is not shot in my version - the entire Chewie Rescue is streamlined so that they don’t all immediately get double-captured and then double-escape (redundancy of storytelling).

In this version of the film, the inscription on the dagger simply instructs the user that they must embrace the Dark Side to see the path to Exegol.

That brings us to the Dagger Vision, which has a lot of ground to cover:

• Rey tapping into her anger and embracing the Dark Side.
• The vision showing her that the Wayfinder is on the Death Star on Endor.
• Palpatine has returned, and awaits her on Exegol. (This is the Palpatine reveal for the film.)

When designing this scene, I had a few goals in mind: I wanted to edit it in a very chaotic, “J.J.”-esque way, so that it fits with the tone and style of Rey’s earlier vision (during the training course). At the same time I also need to make sure the character and story beats are presented clearly. Strictly from a directorial perspective, I don’t want any music; I want the vision itself built purely on sound. I don’t know why, it just feels right to me; and so, I’ve come up with an all-new audio mix for the scene. I’ve also included the “Anthem of Evil” Theme before Rey touches the dagger - it’s very underutilized in the Theatrical film, but I’m using it throughout my edit to represent the Sith Cult.

Even though Poe isn’t actually shot in “real life,” I included it as part of the vision in an attempt to set up the “Your new family dies” thing during the finale.

This single, one minute scene basically incorporates everything I’ve learned over the course of this project - lots of complex cutting, audio work, effects, color grading… the entire Kylo Bedroom scene is basically the lynchpin of the entire edit - both the plot and the character arcs all rely heavily on this sequence working, so feel free to offer suggestions on any of it!

Shoutout to RogueLeader, for the initial concept of Rey tapping into the Dark Side to activate the dagger. And shoutout to NeverarGreat, for spending a lot of time helping me to dial in the Sith Eye effect.

Rey’s line isn’t AI; but she says it very softly, and I think the music just has such a huge crescendo there that it’s drowning out the dialogue. I’ll work on improving the balance. For the throne shot, the goal was to establish where Rey needs to go on the Death Star to find the Wayfinder; but I agree it’s not a super dynamic shot. Most of the shots from that set seem to be fairly locked off… but maybe a bit of zoom or something could help to give it more energy?

Excellent feedback, I really appreciate it!

That’s probably about as good as that plot change is going to get. Is clearly relays the necessary information, and it would NOT be the clumsiest thing in the movie. 😃

Is 3PO’s voice AI? It sounded like maybe you had just recorded your own voice. It isn’t bad, but if an AI voice based on 3PO’s “red mode” voice is possible, or just a distorted AI 3PO voice, that may help sell it.

Good use of Palpatine’s smile shot, given that it won’t appear in its original context.

Ha! It is an AI 3PO voice, with custom audio effects applied. I figured that would be the best way to make it sound emotionless and inhuman; but if this one sounds too off-the-mark, I’ll redo it… maybe making sure the AI preserves his natural accent. 😉

Much appreciated, Hal!

Hi all, as Hal pointed out, the original AI voice I was using for Sith3PO didn’t maintain the British accent. Ironically, the voice was derived from the theatrical 3PO voice clips; but no matter what I tried, the AI wouldn’t spit out a British line reading.

So, I’ve come up with an alternative option. Hopefully it’s a bit better? https://streamable.com/4zl2l6

oh wow I really like that new 3PO + The dialogue is great.

Hey all, happy holidays!

Exciting news: according to my notes, all major scenes are now complete! Thank you to everyone for your feedback on the test clips I’ve shared over the months; it’s been a great help. I am trying to keep a few scenes under wraps until release - mainly because I think it will improve your enjoyment if there are still a few surprises in store!

So, what am I working on now? Since the beginning of this project, I’ve been isolating each scene into separate timelines for safety purposes (e.g. so I won’t accidentally desync the entire film if I bump the wrong clip). At this point, I’m going through and stitching all of those individual scenes together into the Master Timeline - which includes final edit checks, sound mixing, mapping audio to the correct output channels, etc. I also plan on including a subtitle track, which I’ll have to write.

Because I’m locking the edit down, any remaining Kijimi audio submissions must be submitted by next Friday, January 3rd. Additionally, there are still a few pending shots that need some VFX touchups. I promise, the VFX aren’t too intensive or unrealistic; they’re just beyond my own ability. So if you know how to do VFX, please consider reaching out!!

Also, as a holiday treat, here’s a bonus clip: Rey and Leia in the hangar. This scene ended up being much more complex than I had anticipated. First of all, I wanted to restructure their conversation so that the emphasis was on “Rey not feeling like herself,” which foreshadows the rest of the film. Also, because I’ve pushed the training course sequence to later, that means that BB-8 has not been damaged yet, and so I’ve had to edit around all of his broken plating for continuity.

https://streamable.com/qgwqf2

Hello everyone, it’s time for another 2/22 update!

We are now three years from the official start of this project, and I’m pleased to say that considerable progress has been made. As I explained in my last update, I’m currently working on final edit checks, merges, and audio work. As of today, I’m knee-deep in the Kylo’s Destroyer Infiltration sequence - which is not only one of the most complex parts of this edit, but also represents the halfway point of the film. So like I said: progress! Once the edit has been completed, I am also going to write a subtitle track.

However, I still need a bit more help with those last couple of VFX shots. If we can get those locked in, I think I might be able to target a summer release for the project - but that date is dependent on having those shots finished in time. So if you have any experience with After Effects, please, please reach out! It’s a small paint out, and a bit of compositing. We’re so close - we just need a little more! (And thank you to those who have already assisted with some of the new effects!)

As a means of enticement, I’d like to share the crucible of any Rey Nobody edit: The Bedroom Scene. This is my take on it - remember that contextually, Rey has just learned about Palpatine’s return for the first time, and is starting to realize the enormous responsibility that she, as the last remaining Jedi, is now facing. This scene is followed by The Hangar Scene, which makes the stakes even more personal for Rey. Hope you like it!