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The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit (WIP) — Page 7

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 (Edited)

Holy shit that description of Jannah… like, what? That might be excusable in a children’s book, but this is a book for adults. Nah. Good thing you caught that haha.

I would also remove that ham fisted comparison to Fathiers (mostly because I would also remove that detour from TLJ).

It’s interesting how you combined the whispers with the physical element of the dagger. I like it.

Tragedy of Vader - A Novelization of The Rise of Skywalker

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Ninth chapter:

https://pastebin.com/j96ZKvPA
Password: CaptainFaraday

Changelog:

  • Chapters continue to be reshuffled (this was originally chapter 8, now it’s 9, I’m not gonna bother listing that any more because the numbers are all just shifted one higher).
  • Mostly just quality-of-life edits and smoothing the flow of the text as usual.
  • Changed D-O’s name to D-0. Droids usually have letters and numbers in their names, and the original spelling looked weirdly wrong. Also, added “Deeyo” as a “written” name for him in dialogue, like the other droids get (eg Threepio, Artoo, etc).
  • Added cherry blossom trees and kawara tiles to Kijimi, since it’s basically just Space Japan anyway.
  • Made Zorii less murderous in her introduction, since it doesn’t gel with the rest of her scenes with Poe.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit, Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, The Light Rises, Faraday Junior’s Star Wars

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I’m taking a short break from working on this, probably for about another week. I’ve got very limited time for hobbies right now and there’s a couple of other things I want to pursue in the short term; I’ll be right back onto this project afterwards, though. I’m really enjoying working on it.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit, Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, The Light Rises, Faraday Junior’s Star Wars

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Another update:

Due to some big life changes, I’m having to put this on pause for the foreseeable future. Hopefully I’ll be able to get back to it in a month or two.

I can assure you that it’s not being abandoned! I’m excited to pick it up where I left off, but I’m not going to be able to fit any hobbies in for a while. I still consider this a “WIP” rather than “on hiatus.”

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit, Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, The Light Rises, Faraday Junior’s Star Wars

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Here’s a bit of a “feeler” post, to get people’s opinions: I’m currently taking maybe a month away from all my hobbies etc. as I settle into a new job, but when I come back, I’m going to finish this novel edit. After that’s done, however, I’ve got a few other ideas for fanediting projects. I like to always have my next idea percolating on the backburner, so, I’m curious which of these ideas people would be more interested to see:

  • STAR WARS II. Back in 1978, everyone was expecting Star Wars II to be released soon. If they’d made a part two instead of turning it into a trilogy, what might that part two have looked like? Using footage from ESB and ROTJ, I’ll edit together a direct sequel to the Despecialised theatrical release of the original movie Star Wars, that could have plausibly been released in 1979.
  • The Last Jedi: Stoic Edition. I like everything TLJ says thematically, but I think it muddles the execution of those themes so much that a lot of people think it’s saying the opposite of what it is (eg, Luke learns that he was wrong to want the Jedi to end, Kylo is wrong when he says to kill the past, etc). I think the biggest culprit of this is its overwritten dialogue; characters overexplain everything and the actual subtext gets lost in the cracks. I want to take a scalpel to the conversations and chop out a lot of the dialogue, removing extraneous sentences and making the thematic implications of characters’ conversations clearer to follow, without trying to tell the audience directly through dialogue. This is actually the edit I originally started fanediting to eventually make.
  • A New Hope: The Faraday Nudge. Like how I “nudged” my go-to version of ROTS (Hal’s) into the exact movie I personally want to watch, I’ll nudge my go-to version of ANH (the Despecialised Edition) into the exact movie I personally want to watch.
  • Sinister: Recut. I remake the fantastic fanedit of the movie Sinister by AgentSamStanley, who has vanished off the face of the internet along with this edit. I have his changelog, I saw the edit but stupidly didn’t save a copy, and I would just recreate all of his changes to turn this 6.5/10 horror movie into the 9.5/10 horror movie it can be.
  • Pokémon: The Last Jedi. I make this edit as discussed.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit, Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, The Light Rises, Faraday Junior’s Star Wars

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Those first two ideas are both interesting. I talked elsewhere of combining ESB and ROTJ into one film by taking most of ESB and welding the finale of ROTJ onto the end, accomplished by having Luke be taken prisoner by Vader in Cloud city, being healed in an Imperial facility via bacta tank scene, and being taken to the new Death Star. I’d be interested in hearing your ideas though!

A clarified TLJ is also a good idea. You hit the nail on the head with how the film overexplains everything.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Workprint V3 Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

Those first two ideas are both interesting. I talked elsewhere of combining ESB and ROTJ into one film by taking most of ESB and welding the finale of ROTJ onto the end, accomplished by having Luke be taken prisoner by Vader in Cloud city, being healed in an Imperial facility via bacta tank scene, and being taken to the new Death Star. I’d be interested in hearing your ideas though!

I remember reading that in the OT Redux thread; I’ve got some notes for what I’d do myself, and I picked and chose some bits and pieces from a bunch of different suggestions there for combining ESB and ROTJ. I’d also love to implement the “Luke and Vader swap lightsabers” idea, but I don’t think anyone ever actually made the footage for it beyond that one proof-of-concept gif.

A clarified TLJ is also a good idea. You hit the nail on the head with how the film overexplains everything.

Thank you! It’s my biggest criticism of it. I like Hal’s edit and it’s my current go-to to watch, but he largely leaves individual conversations intact - which is consistent with the edit’s intent, but which I really want to hack down considerably.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit, Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, The Light Rises, Faraday Junior’s Star Wars

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NeverarGreat said:

Indeed. The Lesson One scene alone almost suffocates under its own dialogue. Cut out the weed gag and Luke’s dithering about vanity and the scene might be pretty great.

I won’t derail my own thread any further (lol) but that’s the example that always leaps to mind for me too. Luke says the key phrase we should remember for later - “The legacy of the Jedi is failure!” - but it gets lost because he goes on to list hypocrisy and hubris, which are completely irrelevant thematically. The fact that it comes full circle in his conversation with Yoda - arguably the key message of the whole movie! - is lost because of too wordy a sentence.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit, Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, The Light Rises, Faraday Junior’s Star Wars

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I have to agree with Nev and say the first two ideas are the most interesting to me. I’m curious on your take on TLJ and what all you would cut to make the message less muddled.

Your idea of a retro Star Wars II edit is pretty interesting as well. The idea of edits that try to maintain the non-digital feel of that era is really interesting to me, and it’s something I’ve been wanting to try with a potential Return of the Jedi edit.

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RogueLeader said:

I have to agree with Nev and say the first two ideas are the most interesting to me. I’m curious on your take on TLJ and what all you would cut to make the message less muddled.

I watched the movie on triple speed a while ago, and went through a transcript at the same time, crossing out dialogue. So I’ve got a script to work from when I finally get to this project haha.

Your idea of a retro Star Wars II edit is pretty interesting as well. The idea of edits that try to maintain the non-digital feel of that era is really interesting to me, and it’s something I’ve been wanting to try with a potential Return of the Jedi edit.

One thing I really want to to is create Lucas’ original idea for the ESB opening crawl - navy blue text across a Hoth snowscape. Thanks to Biomes, there’s finally a long enough shot to do it.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit, Revenge of the Sith: The Faraday Nudge, ROTS Ultracut: Order 66, The Light Rises, Faraday Junior’s Star Wars