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The Rise of Skywalker Expanded Edition by Rae Carson: The Faraday Edit (WIP) — Page 2

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Jar Jar Bricks said:

Yeah it doesn’t have to be too descriptive. Although I would prefer if the Eye was described for what it actually looks like in canon.

In the new canon comics, Vader actually met with the Eye. And Vader obviously placed him in charge with defending his wayfinder. I think it would be interesting for him to recognize Kylo as the heir of Vader initially (which doesn’t happen in the original novel), and then they could talk from there. I also think it would be interesting if Kylo killed the Eye after he got what he wanted from him.

EDIT: Maybe he could get him angry by saying that he is too conflicted still, but not to fear because he will soon discover his true self. So Kylo kills him in order to try to prove that he can be dark.

Those are all great ideas! I’ll have a tinker with it.

I haven’t read the Vader comics, but a friend of mine has shown me some parts from them, and they look really good. Maybe I’ll track down the issues with the Eye and have a read for context.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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TestingOutTheTest said:

Oh yeah, do you plan on editing the novels for TFA and TLJ?

No plans right now for those, I don’t have much of an issue with them. I like TFA as it is, and while there are things I’d change about TLJ, I don’t feel the same urge to rewrite it as I do TROS.

Weirdly, though, I find I tend to prefer the junior novelisations (I read them to my son) because they’re a lot more direct and let the characters’ actions convey how they feel. Doing an edit where I inserted the best parts of the big print from TFA and TLJ’s novelisations into their junior novelisations would be an odd, but perhaps quite rewarding, project to do someday.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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 (Edited)

Third chapter:

https://pastebin.com/yR7LjhL3
Password: CaptainFaraday

Changelog:

  • I rolled together different parts of a few chapters to fix the pacing issues created by removing lightspeed skipping. Unfortunately, I didn’t write it down as I was going, and now I have forgotten exactly what came from where. Oh dear.
  • Removed lightspeed skipping.
  • Removed Klaud.
  • Made the asteroid an abandoned mine, rather than an active First Order mine.
  • Removed the chess game so I can potentially use it somewhere later.
  • General quality of life edits as previously described, continued condensing bit characters in the Resistance into a smaller number of characters who each get a bit more pagetime.
  • Removed the implication that Boolio retrieved the information himself, instead of just passing it along.
  • The information being retrieved is now a copy of Palpatine’s transmission to the First Order.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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I’ve been rereading the DOTF Trevorrow screenplay, thinking there might be some good Leia content in it that I could work in. But the two different stories don’t gel together; everyone’s character arcs and motivations are too different, and it doesn’t match up in any useful way.

Except for Finn.

There’s already a bunch of really good Finn content I’m going to use, because his goals and motivation actually kind of work towards the same thing - in DOTF it’s leading a stormtrooper uprising, but everything which sets that up actually translates pretty seamlessly to setting up his interactions with Jannah instead.

I’m excited about this. Finn is a character who got severely shortchanged by TROS, and anything to flesh out his pretty barebones arc is really useful. There’s something good to be made out of it; it’s just going to take a bit of polish.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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Cool to here! I was wondering if you could pull anything of interest from that version of the script as well. Maybe you’re thinking this, but I think it would be interesting if Jannah and the other stormtroopers didn’t have names when we first meet them. They still go by their callsigns. Or, maybe they picked names because they heard about “Finn the Stormtrooper”.

I kind of wish some nuance regarding the Jedi that Trevorrow tried to present was still present in what we got. Like, when Rey finally speaks to Luke on Ahch-To, he can tell her the Jedi were wrong about fear and attachments. Jedi can’t deny fear, they must face it. And attachments aren’t a weakness, but a strength. I don’t know, something that shows how Rey (and by extension, Luke) will correct the flaws of the old Jedi Order. But that might be outside your objectives.

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RogueLeader said:

Cool to here! I was wondering if you could pull anything of interest from that version of the script as well. Maybe you’re thinking this, but I think it would be interesting if Jannah and the other stormtroopers didn’t have names when we first meet them. They still go by their callsigns. Or, maybe they picked names because they heard about “Finn the Stormtrooper”.

I kind of wish some nuance regarding the Jedi that Trevorrow tried to present was still present in what we got. Like, when Rey finally speaks to Luke on Ahch-To, he can tell her the Jedi were wrong about fear and attachments. Jedi can’t deny fear, they must face it. And attachments aren’t a weakness, but a strength. I don’t know, something that shows how Rey (and by extension, Luke) will correct the flaws of the old Jedi Order. But that might be outside your objectives.

I really like picking names because they heard about “Finn the stormtrooper,” that tracks with what I want to bring across from the DOTF screenplay. It’s already been suggested I describe them as wearing bits and pieces of stormtrooper armour they’ve personalised, and I feel like that all meshes together well.

I agree with your thoughts about Luke and the Jedi, too. I don’t want to stray too far from the source material with writing my own stuff, but, I feel like those ideas are already thematically supported by TROS, just never really given the forefront in the story.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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I’m really confused about the Sith Dagger, and need to figure it out before I can comfortably edit the parts related to it.

Ochi of Bestoon has the Sith Dagger. It’s referred to as an ancient Sith artefact, and he’s explicitly described as a collector of ancient Sith artefacts. He also used it to murder Rey’s parents on Palpatine’s orders, prior to Palpatine’s death.

But: the dagger couldn’t have been made any earlier than the destruction of the Second Death Star, because its shape relates to the shape of the fallen wreckage on the horizon, to reveal the location of the wayfinder.

  • How can it be ancient and also less than thirty years old?
  • Who made it, and why?
  • If Palpatine didn’t make it, because he was dead, who else knew the location of the wayfinder?
  • Why make a map dagger to begin with, instead of just taking the wayfinder? And if you want to leave it where it is, why would you make a map for other people to find it and take it?
  • When did Ochi kill Rey’s parents, if Palpatine gave the order but was also dead before then? (Rey is younger than Kylo, who was canonically conceived just after the Battle of Endor.)
  • How did the Sith Dagger go from whoever made it to Ochi of Bestoon?

The more I think about it, the more confused I get.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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 (Edited)

I opened these questions up to a Facebook group I’m in, and this is what eventually emerged. Thank you, Star Wars Sithposting Discussion Group!

  • Palpatine ordered Rey’s parents’ deaths post-ROTJ, after being resurrected on Exegol.
  • The Dagger was an ancient Sith artefact that Palpatine gave to Ochi of Bestoon.

And either:

  • Ochi had the Dagger reforged into its current shape after learning of the Wayfinder’s location. He’s a weird Sith cultist who wouldn’t want to disturb the Wayfinder because that would be sacrilegious, but would desire proof that he knew where it was, in a form which only people who speak the ancient language of the Sith could understand.
    Or:
  • Ancient Sith made the Dagger in accordance with the will of the Force to see the future, then when the Death Star was destroyed, the Force made the wreckage fall in the same design the Force had inspired the Dagger to be made in. Which is ludicrous, in the pleasing way all the farcical parts that I liked of the EU are ludicrous.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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If you ditch the compass in favor of Sith whispers or mystical guidance, you could use it to point to the Wayfinder regardless of where it might be. But you’d have to maybe have a sticky note on the handle he put the location onto.

The dagger really don’t make no sense.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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CaptainFaraday said:

I’m really confused about the Sith Dagger, and need to figure it out before I can comfortably edit the parts related to it.

Ochi of Bestoon has the Sith Dagger. It’s referred to as an ancient Sith artefact, and he’s explicitly described as a collector of ancient Sith artefacts. He also used it to murder Rey’s parents on Palpatine’s orders, prior to Palpatine’s death.

But: the dagger couldn’t have been made any earlier than the destruction of the Second Death Star, because its shape relates to the shape of the fallen wreckage on the horizon, to reveal the location of the wayfinder.

  • How can it be ancient and also less than thirty years old?
  • Who made it, and why?
  • If Palpatine didn’t make it, because he was dead, who else knew the location of the wayfinder?
  • Why make a map dagger to begin with, instead of just taking the wayfinder? And if you want to leave it where it is, why would you make a map for other people to find it and take it?
  • When did Ochi kill Rey’s parents, if Palpatine gave the order but was also dead before then? (Rey is younger than Kylo, who was canonically conceived just after the Battle of Endor.)
  • How did the Sith Dagger go from whoever made it to Ochi of Bestoon?

The more I think about it, the more confused I get.

Unless you’re referring to the novel, there was no indication in the film that the dagger was ancient.

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I hate the dagger. A terrible McGuffin’s McGuffin that makes no sense.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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Unless you’re referring to the novel, there was no indication in the film that the dagger was ancient.

I would have sworn the novel did, but that could be on me, actually. The text repeatedly refers to Ochi as a collector of “ancient Sith artefacts,” and I might have made that connection myself unintentionally. I’ll check.

If you ditch the compass in favor of Sith whispers or mystical guidance, you could use it to point to the Wayfinder regardless of where it might be. But you’d have to maybe have a sticky note on the handle he put the location onto.

The dagger really don’t make no sense.

My favourite part of TROS are the scenes with C-3PO; poor 3PO got really shafted by TFA and TLJ, and I genuinely love that he gets such a starring role in the first act of TROS. So as dumb as it is that there’s a map that points to another map like a videogame fetch quest, I do wanna keep the Sith translation as important as it is, so C-3PO’s sacrifice has the gravitas it should.

Plus, I don’t actually hate the Goonies-style “line up the dagger” thing as a concept. It is dumb that Rey just stands in an arbitrary spot anywhere on a kilometres-long shoreline for it to work, though, and my idea is to add a specific marker that she has to stand on and line the dagger up with, like the medallion in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

It certainly don’t make no sense, though, that’s for sure. I’ve spent longer thinking about it than Terrio or Abrams probably did.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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Because I had the chance I decided to watch TFA this afternoon, the first time since seeing TROS. I didn’t notice anything that really seemed to stick out. Rey’s parents were kind and she misses them. Snoke brought up the First Order to reforge the Empire. Kylo Ren encounters his equal in the light. Rey taps into some of her darkness.

Makes sense! I’ll do TLJ someday soon as well. Not expecting it to be as smooth.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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Hal 9000 said:

Because I had the chance I decided to watch TFA this afternoon, the first time since seeing TROS. I didn’t notice anything that really seemed to stick out. Rey’s parents were kind and she misses them. Snoke brought up the First Order to reforge the Empire. Kylo Ren encounters his equal in the light. Rey taps into some of her darkness.

Makes sense! I’ll do TLJ someday soon as well. Not expecting it to be as smooth.

This comment night need a Sith Dagger to find the right thread, perhaps? Lol

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas

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Wow, yep, wrong thread.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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CaptainFaraday said:

Plus, I don’t actually hate the Goonies-style “line up the dagger” thing as a concept. It is dumb that Rey just stands in an arbitrary spot anywhere on a kilometres-long shoreline for it to work, though, and my idea is to add a specific marker that she has to stand on and line the dagger up with, like the medallion in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

It certainly don’t make no sense, though, that’s for sure. I’ve spent longer thinking about it than Terrio or Abrams probably did.

Why do people forget that C-3PO told them where to stand?

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TestingOutTheTest said:

CaptainFaraday said:

Plus, I don’t actually hate the Goonies-style “line up the dagger” thing as a concept. It is dumb that Rey just stands in an arbitrary spot anywhere on a kilometres-long shoreline for it to work, though, and my idea is to add a specific marker that she has to stand on and line the dagger up with, like the medallion in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

It certainly don’t make no sense, though, that’s for sure. I’ve spent longer thinking about it than Terrio or Abrams probably did.

Why do people forget that C-3PO told them where to stand?

While it’s true he does tell them, it seems way too convenient that the place 3PO tells them to stand is also the exact same place they happen to crash the Falcon.

Exsqueeze me.

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 (Edited)

Anyone else find it weird that the Falcon crashed? even if the “landing gear” isn’t working … don’t these things land more like a helicopter than a jet airplane? lol.

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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I guess that POS finally just had something really break.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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You know what my understanding of it was ever since I saw that “dagger outlining the death star wreckage” moment in a theater?

There is the implication that it is an ancient sith dagger. There is the fact that it is completely ridiculous even by TROS standards that whoever made it would go all the way to the wreckage and shape the dagger the way the wreckage is shaped from that angle. There is the fact that Star Wars is mythical and has prophecies and premonitions and other such fantasy stuff.

So I have always just assumed (I don’t know what canon has to say), that it is ancient and the stars alligned that way because something something in-universe poetry, something something the force. It was never a logistics problem. For that matter, why did Palpatine store his pyramid macguffin in a side room on the death star throne room? That moment was also surreal to me. Perhaps he planned to rule from the death star going forward, instead of Coruscant? But anyway, out of all “wait what?” moments in TROS, the dagger-wreckage one is at least pretty neat. And also I like the idea that it was constructed long before the death star.

reylo?

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jarbear said:

Anyone else find it weird that the Falcon crashed? even if the “landing gear” isn’t working … don’t these things land more like a helicopter than a jet airplane? lol.

You’re looking at this too literally, Jarbear. It’s an artistic and thematic message that nothing in the movie is able to fly.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite The Starlight Project (Workprint V2 Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

jarbear said:

Anyone else find it weird that the Falcon crashed? even if the “landing gear” isn’t working … don’t these things land more like a helicopter than a jet airplane? lol.

You’re looking at this too literally, Jarbear. It’s an artistic and thematic message that nothing in the movie is able to fly.

Oh man, I feel so foolish! Thanks for correcting me! haha!

“Because you are a PalpaWalker?”

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KumoNin said:

You know what my understanding of it was ever since I saw that “dagger outlining the death star wreckage” moment in a theater?

There is the implication that it is an ancient sith dagger. There is the fact that it is completely ridiculous even by TROS standards that whoever made it would go all the way to the wreckage and shape the dagger the way the wreckage is shaped from that angle. There is the fact that Star Wars is mythical and has prophecies and premonitions and other such fantasy stuff.

So I have always just assumed (I don’t know what canon has to say), that it is ancient and the stars alligned that way because something something in-universe poetry, something something the force. It was never a logistics problem. For that matter, why did Palpatine store his pyramid macguffin in a side room on the death star throne room? That moment was also surreal to me. Perhaps he planned to rule from the death star going forward, instead of Coruscant? But anyway, out of all “wait what?” moments in TROS, the dagger-wreckage one is at least pretty neat. And also I like the idea that it was constructed long before the death star.

This is one of my two ideas to potentially implement, actually. Either this, or Ochi having the dagger reforged into the specific shape for it to work.

“It’s like rhymetry. They poem.” - Leorge Gucas