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The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant — Page 176

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YES that kid has been terrible lately at night.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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How about inter-splicing Palpatine’s message, starting with Rey saying ‘whats the message?’ That aerial shot of them listening extend for another second or two, cut to Exegol for 2 seconds or so, then cut to Ren on the star destroyer looking out into space, then back to camp where the message should be running out, altering the audio each time to sound slightly different for each of the receivers that play it. Poe then delivers his line. No need to cut to crowds on other planets, just concentrate on the reactions from our main characters? Just a suggestion. If I was an editor myself, I would have a go at it, but I’m not, well not of any worth anyway.

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I think using Palpatine’s line of “The day of the sith” is all thats worth using from broadcast, would work really well as a force/sith whisper or a line during a vision scene.

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I think if the “Somehow, Palpatine has returned” bit is going to be replaced with the group listening to something, a big fancy broadcast isn’t the way to go. Instead, we should hear Palpatine speaking with Pryde, distorted enough to sound like a secret recording but clear enough to recognize their voices. This places emphasis on the spy subplot and foreshadows both that someone high-ranking is the spy, as well as that Pryde’s loyalty lies with the Emperor and not the Supreme Leader. It also potentially works as a red herring. If we hear Richard Grant speaking in the spy message and then later see him as a new character in the First Order meeting, he and Hux eyeing each other suspiciously from across the table, then an observant audience member will likely come to one of two assumptions: either Hux is the spy (now foreshadowed instead of a random twist), or Pryde is (a red herring, making Hux’s reveal and death a bigger twist).

Edit: if we want to split Palpatine and Pryde’s conversation from later in the movie, and do a bit of sentence-mixing, we could do it like this:

Spy recording on Ajan Kloss:
Palpatine: “Send the ships to a world they know. Let it burn. The Final Order begins.”
Pryde: “Yes, my lord.”

This gives context to Poe’s line, “He calls it the Final Order. In 16 hours, attacks on all free worlds begin.”

Then in the meeting after Leia’s death:
Palpatine: “The princess of Alderaan has disrupted my plan, but her foolish act will be in vain. Come to me on Exegol, General Pryde.”
Pryde: “As I served you in the old wars, I serve you now.”
Palpatine: “She will come. Her friends will follow.”
Pryde: “Yes, my lord.”

This is the same “Yes, my lord” used twice, but it’s far enough apart and appropriate enough for the situation that I bet a casual audience member wouldn’t notice.

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That’s an interesting idea Neerb. I would do a mockup but my computer is on its way to Raxus Prime!

Another way to implement Palpatine’s message would be to have it broadcast from the Navigational Antenna on Exogol.

It could go like this:

Rey: What’s the message?

Resistance base intelligence: Officer Intercepts strange sound from beyond unknown space.

Coruscant 1313 : beaping nose echoes as traffic continues as normal.

Coruscant - 1313- Bar: bounty hunter’s eating when their transmitters suddenly all start beaping.

Resistance intelligence: Tense Officer listens intently awaiting transmission.

Coruscant - 1313 - Bar: bounty hunters pickup their transmitters as beaping sound continues.

Exegol: Sith Antenna makes beaping noises as the star destroyers ascend in formation. Heavy Laughter Beams from the Antenna.

Resistance Base : Everyone is huddled in a circle. “At last”

An elegant silhouette in the clouds, shadowed by a First Order Destroyer: “The work of generations is complete”

Resistance base : faces stare at eack other in horror “The great error is corrected”

Achto Island - Exterior: “Skywalker is dead!”

Space - Remnants of a civilisation: “The Republic, Destroyed”

First Order Capital - Night: “the day of victory is at hand”

Kylo Ren’s command deck- Night: “The day of revenge, the day of the Sith”

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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I don’t know if we should be having this discussion in Hal’s thread. It seems like it would go better in the general ideas thread, and Hal doesn’t really seem interested in adding Palpatine’s message.

My preferred saga experience:
ANH (4K77), ESB (Harmy), ROTJ (4K83).
Everything else is optional.

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Neerb said:

I think if the “Somehow, Palpatine has returned” bit is going to be replaced with the group listening to something, a big fancy broadcast isn’t the way to go. Instead, we should hear Palpatine speaking with Pryde, distorted enough to sound like a secret recording but clear enough to recognize their voices. This places emphasis on the spy subplot and foreshadows both that someone high-ranking is the spy, as well as that Pryde’s loyalty lies with the Emperor and not the Supreme Leader. It also potentially works as a red herring. If we hear Richard Grant speaking in the spy message and then later see him as a new character in the First Order meeting, he and Hux eyeing each other suspiciously from across the table, then an observant audience member will likely come to one of two assumptions: either Hux is the spy (now foreshadowed instead of a random twist), or Pryde is (a red herring, making Hux’s reveal and death a bigger twist).

Edit: if we want to split Palpatine and Pryde’s conversation from later in the movie, and do a bit of sentence-mixing, we could do it like this:

Spy recording on Ajan Kloss:
Palpatine: “Send the ships to a world they know. Let it burn. The Final Order begins.”
Pryde: “Yes, my lord.”

This gives context to Poe’s line, “He calls it the Final Order. In 16 hours, attacks on all free worlds begin.”

Then in the meeting after Leia’s death:
Palpatine: “The princess of Alderaan has disrupted my plan, but her foolish act will be in vain. Come to me on Exegol, General Pryde.”
Pryde: “As I served you in the old wars, I serve you now.”
Palpatine: “She will come. Her friends will follow.”
Pryde: “Yes, my lord.”

This is the same “Yes, my lord” used twice, but it’s far enough apart and appropriate enough for the situation that I bet a casual audience member wouldn’t notice.

I think this is the best idea I’ve heard so far, if it can be done. The Fortnite message is a bit cheesy, admittedly, so this seems like a better alternative.

I just cannot stand “Somehow…Palpatine returned.” It sounds like something out of a fan fic.

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Neerb said:

Edit: if we want to split Palpatine and Pryde’s conversation from later in the movie, and do a bit of sentence-mixing, we could do it like this:

Spy recording on Ajan Kloss:
Palpatine: “Send the ships to a world they know. Let it burn. The Final Order begins.”
Pryde: “Yes, my lord.”

This gives context to Poe’s line, “He calls it the Final Order. In 16 hours, attacks on all free worlds begin.”

Is a little short, but if you combine it with the dialogue from the broadcast it might work better with the reaction shots from the resistance base.

“At last the work of generations is complete, Skywalker is dead. The Republic, Destroyed. The day of victory is at hand. Send the ships to a world they know, let it burn.
The Final order begins.”

“Yes my lord”

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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Hal I was working on my crawl in Blender using jackpumpkinhead’s Custom Crawl Creator v2 and I also did a test of your crawl (tweaking the 2nd line slightly).

Here’s what your crawl looks like rendered in blender with custom kerning, chromatic aberration and all that good stuff…
https://streamable.com/n3jiom

The text:
Flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy. The tyrannical First Order has retaliated by attacking any planetary system suspected of supporting their enemy.

As Rey, sole heir to the Jedi, continues her training, General Leia Organa sends her brave agents across the stars to unite the disparate worlds in the name of Resistance.

Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has traveled to Mustafar, chasing whispers of a hidden power that would allow him to destroy any threat to his rule…

EDIT: I just corrected the star field in my template so now its perfect. If anyone would like a crawl rendered for their edit, let me know.

heil palpatine.

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StarkillerAG said:

I don’t know if we should be having this discussion in Hal’s thread. It seems like it would go better in the general ideas thread, and Hal doesn’t really seem interested in adding Palpatine’s message.

^
This.
Please listen to this.

REY NOBODY - The ‘Official’ Fan-Editing Thread
SOLO - A Colour Corrected Star Wars Story
Helping Hal 9000 and tackling many projects myself so PM me with your fan-editing questions!
(My homeworld is Australia so be wary of timezones)

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Chase Adams said:

StarkillerAG said:

I don’t know if we should be having this discussion in Hal’s thread. It seems like it would go better in the general ideas thread, and Hal doesn’t really seem interested in adding Palpatine’s message.

^
This.
Please listen to this.

yeah, it’s getting a tad fanedit-y

booyah baybeee

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mrbenjamino said:

Chase Adams said:

StarkillerAG said:

I don’t know if we should be having this discussion in Hal’s thread. It seems like it would go better in the general ideas thread, and Hal doesn’t really seem interested in adding Palpatine’s message.

^
This.
Please listen to this.

yeah, it’s getting a tad fanedit-y

Agreed. While ambitious ideas can sometimes work, they need to be done seamlessly to feel as if it’s in the actual film so the audience can feel like they’re watching a movie, rather than a fan edit.

Noah Lawson

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krausfadr said:

Hal I was working on my crawl in Blender using jackpumpkinhead’s Custom Crawl Creator v2 and I also did a test of your crawl (tweaking the 2nd line slightly).

Here’s what your crawl looks like rendered in blender with custom kerning, chromatic aberration and all that good stuff…
https://streamable.com/n3jiom

The text:
Flames of rebellion burn across the galaxy. The tyrannical First Order has retaliated by attacking any planetary system suspected of supporting their enemy.

As Rey, sole heir to the Jedi, continues her training, General Leia Organa sends her brave agents across the stars to unite the disparate worlds in the name of Resistance.

Meanwhile, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has traveled to Mustafar, chasing whispers of a hidden power that would allow him to destroy any threat to his rule…

EDIT: I just corrected the star field in my template so now its perfect. If anyone would like a crawl rendered for their edit, let me know.

Wow, that looks great. My only nitpick is that the crawls usually have certain words in all caps for EMPHASIS. I would recommend capping FIRST ORDER, REY, and KYLO REN. Maybe RESISTANCE and/or MUSTAFAR as well, but those might be too close to the other capped words.

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majoras_wrath said:

krausfadr said:

Wow, that looks great. My only nitpick is that the crawls usually have certain words in all caps for EMPHASIS. I would recommend capping FIRST ORDER, REY, and KYLO REN. Maybe RESISTANCE and/or MUSTAFAR as well, but those might be too close to the other capped words.

Thanks, the site streamable.com re-encodes the file so it looks kinda crappy on there. I believe Sir Ridley is doing Hal’s crawl, but I can be a backup if needed (or can render crawls for other people’s edits). I can do a HQ lossless render into a mov or mp4.

heil palpatine.

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I’d recommend more restraint on the all-caps. There aren’t actually that many all-caps words in the old title crawls. The new films have overexagerrated it, especially the awful, awful original IX crawl, but I’d prefer a new one reign it in a bit.

IV: “DEATH STAR”
V: none
VI: “GALACTIC EMPIRE”
I: none
II: “ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC”
III: none
VII: “FIRST ORDER” “REPUBLIC” “RESISTANCE”
VIII: “FIRST ORDER” “RESISTANCE”
IX: “REVENGE” “EMPEROR PALPATINE” “GENERAL LEIA ORGANA” “REY” “FIRST ORDER” “KYLO REN”

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It’s clear that the crawls for the 1-6 films only emphasized the single most important aspect of that film. TFA should only have highlighted FIRST ORDER, TLJ should have had no highlighted terms, and TROS should have highlighted everything in the script and pressed delete.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Yeah, I like NOT having anything capitalized in TROS:A. And, for that matter, nothing in the crawl that would even feel like would need to be capitalized.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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That plays pretty well. However, it borrows shots from later in the scene and it may not work to lose them.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…

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mrbenjamino said:

had another crack at the palpatine message, tried to keep it as real as possible

https://vimeo.com/434154765
pw: fanedit

I don’t know if this would fit better in the the Radical redux thread, but I like it a lot! It might be the most plausible way to both address the intel and remove the cringy “Somehow Palpatine returned”.
Maybe there should be a short reaction shot added before Rose speaks, because her facial reactions don’t quite match, and the characters would need a couple more seconds to process it. Maybe insert Chewie’s reaction in there?
Though I agree with Hal, I’d like to see how the rest of the scene plays out.

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Hal 9000 said:

That plays pretty well. However, it borrows shots from later in the scene and it may not work to lose them.

the only borrowed shot in there is the wide of rose and Finn, other than that there’s none

Knight of Kalee said:

I don’t know if this would fit better in the the Radical redux thread, but I like it a lot! It might be the most plausible way to both address the intel and remove the cringy “Somehow Palpatine returned”.
Maybe there should be a short reaction shot added before Rose speaks, because her facial reactions don’t quite match, and the characters would need a couple more seconds to process it. Maybe insert Chewie’s reaction in there?
Though I agree with Hal, I’d like to see how the rest of the scene plays out.

a shot of chewie shot could work, thanks!!

booyah baybeee

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Oh, of course, because you removed Poe’s line and the surrounding reactions.

Initiating self-destruct countdown…