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The Rise of Skywalker: Ascendant (WIP) — Page 210

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snooker said:

I’ve updated the Naboo clip for the victory sequence:

https://streamable.com/gctay5

I’ll adjust it based on feedback and send a final version over to Hal ASAP

pretty nice! I personally think that the star destroyer needs to be faded into the upper atmosphere to mask the explosions, and maybe the explosions are a tad too fast

booyah baybeee

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I finally got the chance to watch the workprint in full. There are a few nitpicks I think could still be improved which I’ve listed below (sorry if I’ve repeated any rejected ideas as with over 5000 replies its hard to know what has and hasn’t been suggested):

-CRAWL-

“disparate”
to me this word doesn’t sound Star Wars and feels out of place with the vocabulary of the official crawls.

“chasing whispers of a hidden power that would allow him to destroy any threat to his rule…”
A better sentence could be, “chasing whispers of an old menace, determined to destroy any threat to his power…” I think Kylo is more focused on his power in the force rather than his rule as Supreme Leader. Also the crawl should have a hint of Palpatine while not directly mentioning him.

-EXEGOL-

“…in me.”
I like the line replacement but it looks like Palpatine is saying “unnatural“. Is here a way to make Palpatine’s lips match without looking off?

-AJAN KLOSS-

“I don’t want to go without your blessing but I will. I will, it’s what you would do.”
Cut the second “I will”

Change Poe’s “Yeah, I know.” to “Yeah, and we’re going with you.” The “I know” feels unnecessary.

Cut “There’s so much I want to tell you” “Tell me when you get back”
Why would Rey say this? It looks like Rey and Leia know this is their last interaction which in my opinion makes Rey’s reaction to Leia’s death not have as much weight.

-“ENDOR”-

Color correct the Ewok village shot to better match the Kef Bir footage or vice versa. They doesn’t feel like the same planet.

-DEATH STAR II-

Do we know the source of the tracked Darth Vader’s Death music cue? To me is it sounds like the 2004 Sony releases with the heavily compressed strings. Would it be possible to replace it with a better version (maybe abc’s salvage edition)?

I know a full version of Duel of the Fates during the Death Star duel won’t be in this fanedit but I have an idea as to how it could feel natural and not like a fanedit. DominicCobb’s edit has it perfectly just don’t start at the opening Kor-ah horn beats. Loop the string "Do-di-doodle-do"s for the first shot of Rey and Kylo fighting and the shot of Finn. Have the fight continue like DominicCobb edited until Rey lands from her force backflip and cut to this version without the music cue from Solo.

Rearrange the Medal shot from the trailer to before Leia lays down.

-EXEGOL-

“The time has come.” Replace the Sith choir with the first phrase of isolated vocals from Duel of the Fates (“Kor-ah, Mah-tah”) The choir is pretty much singing the freaking first chord anyway so why not?

I just have to say HOLY CRAP THE CALL IN WAS AMAZING! What were the sources?

I really liked the subtle spin of the stars when Rey hears the voices of the past, but it could go a step further. What if when Rey hears a voice and the stars are in frame a star gets slightly brighter (kind of like when the angels from It’s a Wonderful Life talk)? Qui-Gon and Yoda have been floating lights in the animated series when communicating with just their voice so its not too far fetched of an idea to include that here.

I just noticed the updated Naboo shot from snooker. I love the shot and how much it has improved but I do think the movement of the Destroyer still needs some refining. Maybe cut the explosion and just have it fall from the sky while on fire like the other shots have.

Something that has bugged me since my first viewing; Is there a way to rescore the victory celebration as the placement of Yoda’s theme makes absolutely no sense.

-EPILOGUE-

The fade in of Rey’s/The Force theme sounds like an artificial fade in and not as if the horn player is naturally going from soft to loud. (I know it’s a complicated audio edit but I it could have some slight adjustment to the automation.) The fade out to the credits is good though.

To Hal9000 and everyone involved with the making of this edit, you have made something truly special. I was amazed at how much better the pacing of the film is here and I was finally able to enjoy the whole film, not just certain moments. Keep up the good work!

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I like that new Naboo clip, and it does seem to cohere better than the first round. I agree that perhaps the explosion(s) could be slowed down for scale.

The crawl doesn’t need capital letters. In the OT, the Death Star is capitalized in ANH, and not in the other two. I don’t think the same words are ever capitalized twice until we get to TLJ. To capitalize the same two words/terms a third time in a row feels very unnecessary to me.

And I think it’s fine to name drop Mustafar, as it lets us see that the two Wayfinder were in possession of the two Sith. If the name doesn’t mean anything to the viewer, that’s fine. It’s just the first spot we see I. Kylo’s search. It would’ve helped first time viewer ‘me’ take in that scene.

The crawls are a place for occasional high, formal constructions. I use “disparate” to tie into the idea that the FO is making people feel disconnected and alone. Perhaps it feels more at home in the older films’ crawls, but I am okay with being a touch formal.

You’re right that Palpatine’s lip movement doesn’t look exactly like he’s saying “in me.” If anyone has the ability to correct that visually, I’d welcome it! Not sure how that’d be done, though.

Some of the Leia footage is weird as they try to weave things into what they had to work with. But I don’t think cutting it down would help, since that’s the route they went and there’s already very little of it. I’ll look at those other two moments and see if it makes sense to trim them.

I’ll look at the Endor shot and try to match the following footage, also.

It’d be very difficult to remove the tracked music on the DSII. And if I did, I’d want to leave it out rather than replace it with a higher quality version of itself.

Yeah I know there’s a lot of interest in more DOTF, but that’ll have to be done by you all post-release. I’ll include a lossless export of the audio for the affected sequence, and I’m sure I’ll see an alternate track put out for people to mux in.

I will try that with the medal!

The sith people are heard chanting elsewhere and don’t sound like the tracked music that would need to be implemented to get them to sing DOTF. Plus the music will have already been alluded to earlier. If someone can find a rendition of the opening of DOTF without instrumentation that sounds like it really is coming from that group of people and sounds like how they sound throughout, okay, but it seems unlikely.

The civilian fleet is you all, silly!

Yoda’s theme may feel odd but it’d be hard to change, and sometimes the music needs to feel right even if the motif doesn’t make logical sense.

You are right that the ending musical fade in is very delicate. It immediately followed an unheard blast of sound. If there’s any audio wizard who can extend those notes or somehow contrive them in order to come in better that’d be wonderful. It’s as good as I am able to get it with my skill level, though.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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I agree with the smoke in the Naboo shots, slowing it down should help some. And none of the other shots have any camera shake, so it throws me off when there’s a little wobble as the ship explodes. I’m guessing you added that in part to help all the pieces blend together, but it ends up being distracting to me rather than helping. Definitely looking better overall though!

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CarterStarkiller said:

Rearrange the Medal shot from the trailer to before Leia lays down.

Yes! I’ve been meaning to say this myself about the medal. I love the shot and I’m glad it’s added in but the angle suggests Leia is stood/sat upright. Changing the sequence will hopefully work!

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The shot of the medal could be played with, rotation, messing with the angle should make it fit.

Peace is a lie
There is only passion…

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Is it possible to change around the voices Rey hears? It’s frustrating that she hears voices of Jedi who couldn’t preserve themselves past physical death. Keep the voices of Qui-Gon, Kenobi, Yoda, Anakin, and Luke- cut the rest? The gaps might be awkward so other lines from those characters could fill in.

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Brewzter said:

Is it possible to change around the voices Rey hears? It’s frustrating that she hears voices of Jedi who couldn’t preserve themselves past physical death. Keep the voices of Qui-Gon, Kenobi, Yoda, Anakin, and Luke- cut the rest? The gaps might be awkward so other lines from those characters could fill in.

You know there’s a designated Redux ideas thread, right? You don’t need to make everything Hal’s responsibility.

You’ve got to ask yourself one question: “Am I making Carrie Fisher’s ghost proud?”
Well, are ya, punk?

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Brewzter said:

Is it possible to change around the voices Rey hears? It’s frustrating that she hears voices of Jedi who couldn’t preserve themselves past physical death. Keep the voices of Qui-Gon, Kenobi, Yoda, Anakin, and Luke- cut the rest? The gaps might be awkward so other lines from those characters could fill in.

I don’t see any problem in the other voices, what’s so wrong about it? Is the climax of the movie, the end of the saga, blablabla, so what’s the matter? Complaining about this feels like just nitpicking, also the casual viewer won’t even care, and it is cool to some fans recognize some voices “Oh, that’s Ahsoka! Cool! Oh that is Mace Windu! Nice!”. Just a nice touch/moment in the movie that hurts absolutly no one and would be far more complicated to mess with than just leaving as it is.

the dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural

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 (Edited)

I wish we could get Palpatine to say “Nothing will stop the REVENGE OF THE SITH” instead of saying return,

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Cinefy said:

I wish we could get Palpatine to say “Nothing will stop the REVENGE OF THE SITH” instead of saying return,

that would be a serious “Hux realizes that he lost the star wars” moment

the dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural

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Ed Slushie said:

Brewzter said:

Is it possible to change around the voices Rey hears? It’s frustrating that she hears voices of Jedi who couldn’t preserve themselves past physical death. Keep the voices of Qui-Gon, Kenobi, Yoda, Anakin, and Luke- cut the rest? The gaps might be awkward so other lines from those characters could fill in.

You know there’s a designated Redux ideas thread, right? You don’t need to make everything Hal’s responsibility.

+3000

It’s so frustrating that no one posts in the Redux thread anymore, and everyone just uses this thread as a general ideas thread instead.

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snooker said:

I’ve updated the Naboo clip for the victory sequence:

https://streamable.com/gctay5

I’ll adjust it based on feedback and send a final version over to Hal ASAP

Looks great, besides what others have said I would say slow down the Destroyer falling as well a bit, doesn’t look like it should have that much speed at that point.

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 (Edited)

Hal 9000 said:

The crawl doesn’t need capital letters. In the OT, the Death Star is capitalized in ANH, and not in the other two. I don’t think the same words are ever capitalized twice until we get to TLJ. To capitalize the same two words/terms a third time in a row feels very unnecessary to me.

And I think it’s fine to name drop Mustafar, as it lets us see that the two Wayfinder were in possession of the two Sith. If the name doesn’t mean anything to the viewer, that’s fine. It’s just the first spot we see I. Kylo’s search. It would’ve helped first time viewer ‘me’ take in that scene.

Both mentions refer to the first Death Star, it wouldn’t make sense to capitalize it since it was already blown up. I just feel capital words fit, this isn’t ESB, the crawl feels kinda plain for the bombastic adventure we’re about to experience.

And I think name dropping Mustafar feels too crass & fan-edited, it works better as something for the fans to recognize (again, a glimpse of Fortress Vader would help in that) or to put two and two together on repeat viewings. In the context of the movie it’s just some planet where Kylo finds the wayfinder and is never seen or spoken of again. Learning the name in the crawl doesn’t really do much, besides fan service. TLJ doesn’t tell us the First Order speeds towards D’Qar. I think the crawl should focus on Kylo being on a search that took him to Mustafar, as it was originally implied, since the opening sequence is supposed to imply more than just “Kylo decided to go to Mustafar”.

The crawl is supposed to catch us up to speed on the important things we’ll see in the movie. Losing the important detail that Kylo Ren has been on a quest to find Exegol only to clarify that the lava planet is Mustafar is not a worthwhile trade in my opinion. And it could create the wrong expectations of it’s importance in the story.

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StarkillerAG said:

Ed Slushie said:

Brewzter said:

Is it possible to change around the voices Rey hears? It’s frustrating that she hears voices of Jedi who couldn’t preserve themselves past physical death. Keep the voices of Qui-Gon, Kenobi, Yoda, Anakin, and Luke- cut the rest? The gaps might be awkward so other lines from those characters could fill in.

You know there’s a designated Redux ideas thread, right? You don’t need to make everything Hal’s responsibility.

+3000

It’s so frustrating that no one posts in the Redux thread anymore, and everyone just uses this thread as a general ideas thread instead.

I do but the response rate is almost flatline so I guess people prefer the interaction on here. Maybe if others replied more in Redux it may regain momentum?

Check out - http://www.youtube.com/moviesremastered

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oviniboy said:

Cinefy said:

I wish we could get Palpatine to say “Nothing will stop the REVENGE OF THE SITH” instead of saying return,

that would be a serious “Hux realizes that he lost the star wars” moment

You say that like it’s a bad thing 😛

On the topic of Ascendant, has anyone heard from jonh lately? He hasn’t posted in a while.

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majoras_wrath said:

oviniboy said:

Cinefy said:

I wish we could get Palpatine to say “Nothing will stop the REVENGE OF THE SITH” instead of saying return,

that would be a serious “Hux realizes that he lost the star wars” moment

You say that like it’s a bad thing 😛

On the topic of Ascendant, has anyone heard from jonh lately? He hasn’t posted in a while.

I’m pretty sure I heard pages back that he’s working now which is why he doesn’t have much time to work on ascendant. Could be wrong though

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majoras_wrath said:

oviniboy said:

Cinefy said:

I wish we could get Palpatine to say “Nothing will stop the REVENGE OF THE SITH” instead of saying return,

that would be a serious “Hux realizes that he lost the star wars” moment

You say that like it’s a bad thing 😛

On the topic of Ascendant, has anyone heard from jonh lately? He hasn’t posted in a while.

He’s back to work full time and has a lot on. He’ll be back when he gets time.

Check out - http://www.youtube.com/moviesremastered

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Do you think it’s possible that one or both versions could be completed and uploaded to Drive for a holiday release around November or December?

Noah Lawson

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I’d sure hope so!

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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And just a note about the crawl: I know the opening crawl is going to be a sticky subject, with almost anyone on planet Earth able to compose one superior to the one in the theatrical TROS.

I like the symmetry of having one film per trilogy with no ALL CAPS WORDS, and appreciate namedropping Mustafar. It’s either a planet that means something to the reader, or serves as worldbuilding. Either way, I like the significance of opening on that particular planet, but the film itself didn’t give us any real indication that it had.

In the Hal9000 presentation of the overall saga, over half of the films have crawls either written or compiled by me. That’s a little weird to think about. This is the only one for which I felt no obligation to maintain connection to the original. TROS has the worst crawl out of the nine, hands down. I know this crawl won’t knock it out of the park for everyone, but I do appreciate the feedback to help me make sure it’s what I want to use.

You should see some of my professional writing; I can be pedantic, that’s for sure.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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I’m sorry if I came off too strong, I like the current crawl, I’m only voicing my opinion on what could possibly improve it.

Even if you need to mention Mustafar, I think it could be worded better to imply Kylo has been doing more in search of Exegol before the attack on Mustafar. When we see him on the surface killing everyone he seems to be in a manic state, as if he’s been chasing this phantom for a while now. I feel that’s how it worked in the original crawl since it said Kylo “rages in search of the phantom Emperor”.