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The Prequel Radical Redux Ideas Thread — Page 309

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snooker said:

Removed unnecessary characters/details from this scene.

before

after

I also hate that ‘ultra-wide lens’ effect this shot has, so I removed it. The horizon is flat!

Oh, I see. You’re one of those “flat Tatooine” nutters.

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INVESTIGATE 5/25! The truth is out there!

girl

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DuracellEnergizer said:

snooker said:

Removed unnecessary characters/details from this scene.

before

after

I also hate that ‘ultra-wide lens’ effect this shot has, so I removed it. The horizon is flat!

Oh, I see. You’re one of those “flat Tatooine” nutters.

That’s Flatooiner to you.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Workprint V4 Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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What if the invasion of Naboo didn’t occur until the final act? What if the threat looming over the movie is that the home-world of one of our heroes will be destroyed?

Open with the escape from Naboo, go into Tatooine, go to Coruscant, and go back to Naboo.

girl

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snooker said:

What if the invasion of Naboo didn’t occur until the final act? What if the threat looming over the movie is that the home-world of one of our heroes will be destroyed?

Open with the escape from Naboo, go into Tatooine, go to Coruscant, and go back to Naboo.

It would be hard to explain why they are being attacked by droids and a fleet that hasn’t begun invasion yet.

Maul- A Star Wars Story

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OutboundFlight said:

snooker said:

What if the invasion of Naboo didn’t occur until the final act? What if the threat looming over the movie is that the home-world of one of our heroes will be destroyed?

Open with the escape from Naboo, go into Tatooine, go to Coruscant, and go back to Naboo.

It would be hard to explain why they are being attacked by droids and a fleet that hasn’t begun invasion yet.

Think of it like the unofficial war that resulted in the Panama cannal.

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I wanted to try something suggested in this lovely article:

https://davidmdaut.com/2019/01/14/star-wars-attack-of-the-clones/

It would have been more dramatically satisfying if Obi-Wan reports these suspicions to the Council only for them to do nothing and have Obi-Wan be frustrated by it. Have Anakin’s crisis of faith be paralleled by one for Obi-Wan only to have them arrive at different places – Anakin turning away from the Jedi while Obi-Wan stays loyal even amidst their failure.

Obi-Wan, after speaking with Jango, goes to report his findings to the council:

https://streamable.com/0vjdw

(The dialogue at the start is hard to hear. Oops!)

Using dialogue from Battlefront, Obi-Wan comes off as a little less dry. He’s frustrated and ready to take on the challenge without the backing of the Council. I’ve also removed as many ‘clunky’ lines as I possibly could.

There’s also some re-scoring that I’ve been toying around with. I hate the music in the original ‘I must go, Padme’ scene, so I thought this track might fit better.

girl

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Yeah, it also doesn’t really work for me either. I also had been wondering if there was a way to implement Obi’s frustration with the Council. This was a good idea, but I don’t know if it works or not.

I don’t know if there were any other options, like trimming dialogue to have Mace cut him off or something like that. I dunno. JAT’s voice just doesn’t match Ewan’s enough in my opinion.

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snooker said:
Obi-Wan, after speaking with Jango, goes to report his findings to the council:

It’s confusing. He starts speaking with the council while walking out?

Perhaps you can show the antenna going up as soon as he walks out, that would make things faster but still be realistic.
Then show the council being slow and showing inaction. Trim the dialog, but let the reaction shots play.
Obi-wan is fast paced, the council is slow and inactive.

The voice is a bit off, perhaps you can try just having new lines for Mace.
Obi-wan only need a reaction shot and a single sentence, perhaps you can source that from another movie.

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Yeah, start with the antenna, and have Mace speak first in that same shot. This establish how they are communicating. Although really, why not use the hologram from the original film? I guess you don’t want to be seeing things from the Council’s perspective?

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I know it’s not perfect, but I was hoping to spark some discussion on how to achieve the intended effect.

girl

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Hmm, I think a possibly solution lies in the shots of Mace and Yoda speaking to Obi’s hologram. The music is pretty light, so you might could get away with some slight rearranging. And Mace and Yoda say things like, “No.” and “Don’t assume.” that could be used in different ways. And like I mentioned before, having the Masters cut Obi off mid-sentence night help illustrate some frustration.

I think the JAT could be used in that sequence better, since those lines could be distorted through the hologram slightly, but I still think it would be hard to make it look/sound natural though.

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 (Edited)

https://streamable.com/gbluy

One of the opening scenes of Attack of the Clones with a few changes:

No Jar Jar
Color correction
Zero anger between Obi-Wan and Anakin
Anakin’s introduction to Padme is cut down
Some minor re-scoring

JEDIT: Forgot to mention that I removed every “M’lady” in the scene as it’s the worst word in the English language.

girl

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Very cool! The cut from Anakin saying “So have you” to Padmé turning flows really nicely. That’s usually a hard cut for editors.

Did you do some noise reduction? The audio seems a little weird on the dialogue, but that could just be my phone.

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RogueLeader said:

Did you do some noise reduction? The audio seems a little weird on the dialogue, but that could just be my phone.

I did! I wish there was a way to get clear dialogue tracks from these movies.

girl

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Also, does the ‘Meeting With Palpatine’ scene with Mace and Padme need to be the second scene in the movie? Can we go straight from the first assassination attempt to the apartment scene? All the Palpatine scene serves is to establish some political context for the movie, which we don’t need right away.

Here’s my proposed structure:

Crawl
First Attempt
Apartment
Bounty Hunter Chase
Jedi Council
Palpatine Meeting
Packing

etc.

girl

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Pretty cool! Those blast marks on the wall look good. I see you’re doing a lot of stuff with AOTC atm. What other things are you trying to tackle?

Also, regarding the Jedi meeting with the Chancellor, I don’t think it necessarily has to be the second scene of the film, but if you were to move it where you propose, I think you would need to cut away before Padme enters that scene.

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Padme brings with her discussion of Dooku, which is sort of important as that character doesn’t get a lot of screen time. But the scene would have no ending without the talk of ‘additional security’. Hmm.

girl

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Nice job Snook.

Working on many edits, may take many years to complete…

Also known as Mr. Liquid Jungle.