The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 116

You guys like to pile on against mfm when he talks like that, but I find it very comforting.

moviefreakedmind said:

chyron8472 said:

Yeah, it’s not true that you won’t meet someone. It’s just hard not knowing who, when, or where that is so it feels a long way off. But in any case, it really is better that you got through this with her now rather than stringing yourself along forever.

I agree with most of what you say in the second half of this, but I object to the “It gets better” notion that people like to share all the time. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn’t. I think it’s unhelpful to pretend that it’s a given that life is headed in an ultimately positive direction. That’s not even me being pessimistic, that’s just reality. Things don’t always turn out well in the end.

It depends. If you just sit alone and wallow in your misery, nothing’s going to get better. But there are certainly active ways that you can get out, get over with it, and move on. You just need to be willing to make that step. Not saying things will automatically get better, but if you don’t try, they definitely won’t.

Right. That’s why I don’t like it when people say things will get better. They won’t. You have to make it better. You have to work towards it.

Even that isn’t a guarantee.

True, but you can’t give up.

I never said it was a guarantee. The only guarantee is that things won’t get any better if you don’t put in any effort.

moviefreakedmind said:

That’s not even necessarily true either. There’s plenty of assholes out there living easy, care-free lives whilst putting forth absolutely no effort.

That’s irrelevant to what we’re talking about.

moviefreakedmind said:

That’s not even necessarily true either. There’s plenty of assholes out there living easy, care-free lives whilst putting forth absolutely no effort.

You aren’t by chance Frank Grimes?

moviefreakedmind said:

I don’t know. I just think that the misery that life doles out to people is so varying that making any kind of general statement is a waste of time.

Any old asshole, as you say, who’s putting in no effort but is living swell, that guy is irrelevant to the question of “life’s misery,” and whether “things get better.” Random shit happens, whatever, but these hypothetical random asshole doesn’t have to worry about things getting better in the first place. The fact of the matter is if you’re stuck in the dumps, you can wait for “life” to miraculously give you a hand (highly unlikely), or you can get off your ass and try to help yourself. The alternative, doing nothing and complaining about your miserable life until the end of time, is only going to make things worse for you.

Shooting down every possible statement with nihilism isn’t exactly emotionally supportive. I don’t think persistent pessimism is really going to get you anywhere.

Yeah, when I said I found your statements comforting, it was because it felt like a reality check between statements of general positivity. A refreshing perspective. But going on and on, further down the rabbit hole, ends up helping no one. I’m a realist, not an optimist, and not a nihilist.

I can see where both you and Dom are coming from.

If people would spontaneously do the Stanky Leg more I could guarantee we would all get better.

well, to me idealism is often times quite a good way to relieve pain. i won’t be posting in this thread anymore though.

Collipso said:

well, to me idealism is often times quite a good way to relieve pain. i won’t be posting in this thread anymore though.

Any particular reason why? I valued what you had to say quite a bit when you did.

moviefreakedmind said:

DominicCobb said:

The fact of the matter is if you’re stuck in the dumps, you can wait for “life” to miraculously give you a hand (highly unlikely), or you can get off your ass and try to help yourself.

I’m not complaining till the end of time, just till the end of my miserable life.

As the person in question, I don’t see what the difference is.

Shooting down every possible statement with nihilism isn’t exactly emotionally supportive. I don’t think persistent pessimism is really going to get you anywhere.

I was shooting down one type of statement with realism.

Pessimism can be equally as detached from reality as optimism, if not moreso.

moviefreakedmind said:

I don’t see how any of my last couple posts were detached from reality.

You were basically ignoring the actual content of my posts just to misanthropically argue with them.

Handman said:

Collipso said:

well, to me idealism is often times quite a good way to relieve pain. i won’t be posting in this thread anymore though.

Any particular reason why? I valued what you had to say quite a bit when you did.

well, before reading this post i thought i had been of little to no help, given my optimistic view of the situation. i guess i took it to an extreme, sorry about that.

I really wish this thread could be without the arguments we find elsewhere. This is not the place.