The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 126

Acbagel said:

Put one of my groomsmen into the ground today. 28 years old. Lost his mind in the realm of drugs and mental illness. It started with weed at far too young of an age, then weed turned to hallucinogens and psychedelics. His brain, his very reasoning, wittled away under the influence of such chemicals. Whether you believe this in a real spiritual sense or not, he began to tell us how he would speak with demons. He changed. Complete incoherence and mental psychosis followed. He tried every treatment plan under the sun. We tried so hard to offer help, show him love, but he didn’t accept. He grew to only desire the surreal, the desire for life and reality slipped away, no matter how much you were there for him. The demons in his mind took his life.

Hard to find solace in such awfulness. Cherish the good memories you are able to have with your loved ones, accept that sometimes there are forces outside of your control that you can’t beat yourself up over, and always, always, show one another true love.

RIP Brother, I will miss you until the end of my days.

Very sorry for your loss.

I have a few family members going through pretty much what you described right now, actually. Seems to be happening more and more these days.

My ADHD meds (Adderall) aren’t really working all that well anymore. My head is cluttered again and I’m not happy except for when I’m doing stuff related to my hobbies (Star Wars, Marvel, Paleontology, Godzilla, etc.) or talking to a friend, which doesn’t happen as often as I’d like. I’m cluttering myself with amount of hobby projects I’m working on bc my focus is gone, I want to do so much all at the same time, but I can’t. I have to focus and that’s hard.

I miss when my meds were new, when my own head felt like a nice place to call home for the first time.

I think I’ve hit rock bottom in my life. I just got a shit deal at work after working there for 18 years and I’m so miserable. I’m 37 and nothing to show for my life. I have no transferable skills other than the ones in this miserable job I want to get out of, my college degree is a decade old and worthless. I’m in therapy, I’m on meds, my life finally seemed to be looking up, and now I’ve crashed again because of this horseshit at work. I keep sleeping for 10-12 hours to get away from life. I just don’t see the point of keeping going. My life doesn’t feel worthwhile anymore. I’m sick of life and I’m sick of living it.

If you need a friendly ear, mine is up for it Mike.

Well, someone at work whom I don’t like and have always had a contentious relationship with has taken up my shift. My mind is boggled.

RicOlie_2 said:

I’m very sorry to hear that, Mike. I wish I knew what to say.

I know I say this a lot in this thread, but I might as well give you your annual reminder to give Jesus a try, since I truly believe it’s the only thing that will make you really happy. It’s not necessarily the message you want right now, but it’s what I’ve got.

If God’s up there, He gave up on me a long, long time ago.

EDIT: Well, well. Maybe not.

RicOlie_2 said:

…Is that good news? I hope so.

God hasn’t given up on you. He’s just respecting your choices.

It’s very good news, for now anyway. If God’s up there, I shouldn’t blame Him for these things either. I was raised Catholic and have a fair bit of sympathy for religion in some ways, it’s given me a lot, but find it very destructive in others, so my feeling about it are very, very complex. I’m sorry if I came across like I was judging your faith. I admire and sometimes even envy people’s faith, but I’ve largely lost mine. That’s not a slight on people who haven’t, but my politics are such that I often don’t like what it makes people think and do, if that’s fair.

The fires in Los Angeles have destroyed many a place I used to frequent in my younger years, and they have destroyed the homes of family. Fortunately, the people I love are safe for now.

And now I’m back to getting fucked over at work. Knew it was too good to last. I’ve tired to find another job so many times over the years, always in vain to be stuck here. Maybe this is just my lot in life, perhaps after all the years making this my only marketable skill, maybe I deserve this. I know I should put things in perspective, but God, it’s hard. I don’t ask to be a millionaire or a rock star. I ask for small things, and I seem unable even to get those sometimes. I realize I’m blowing things out of proportion, but I’m past the point of caring. I love my parents, I love my family, I love my friends, but they just don’t feel like enough anymore. Fuck my job, fuck management, fuck capitalism, and fuck my life. I think I’ve finally hit bottom. It’s always on us to change, never society. It’s never the fault of the broken system, always the individual. I’m sick of fighting. I can never win.

Then I see whats happening in California, and it reminds me to put things in perspective, and then I feel like an asshole for saying all of this.

Mike O said:

And now I’m back to getting fucked over at work. Knew it was too good to last. I’ve tired to find another job so many times over the years, always in vain to be stuck here. Maybe this is just my lot in life, perhaps after all the years making this my only marketable skill, maybe I deserve this.

You don’t. Never believe otherwise.

Then I see whats happening in California, and it reminds me to put things in perspective, and then I feel like an asshole for saying all of this.

This speaks volumes to me. You’re a beautiful human being who loves your fellow Man. I know too many people who fixate on themselves but never consider the plights of others.