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The Place to Go for Emotional Support — Page 11

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I just saw your post from yesterday...I can't add much to what has already been said, and am not really in a position to be giving advice for this sort of thing, so I'll just be thankful that your suicide attempt failed, and lend my emotional support. I'll pray for you.

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 (Edited)

Hi possessed, I don't know what else to add but please take it easy now, one day at the time. Maybe you can't afford counseling at the moment but at least talk to someone (friends, family, us, etc) to get it off your chest, we may not understand the specific way you feel or the exact path your life is right now but don't forget that we all suffered at some point in life and someway or another we can all help you trough these hard times. I send you a hug

May the force be with you.

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Possessed said:

darth_ender said:

I know you don't believe in God,

Actually, I do.  Sortof, anyway.

Please, I've said this before, you must get help.  Obviously your work is important to you, but you need to take the time off and get to the hospital. 

I agree that that would be helpful, but it just really isn't in the cards right now.  I just got this promotion, so I'm not taking time off already.  The odds of me getting the time off to get help (which I couldn't afford anyway) are pretty slim.  Even if I could get time off from work, which I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to afford any help.

 I do appreciate the thoughts guys.  And woah, Trident.  Good to see you came back.

 Yeah well I'm not sure if I'm really back. But what the hell. While I'm here to beat some sense into you I might hang around for a bit. I mean I missed you guys. And now that my word's not worth shit I may as well doll out on a couple other threads. But whatever. 

K. Let’s have this ride.

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Nice to see you around! I'd be hanging out on the other forum as well were I not lacking in free time most days.

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Possessed said:

I can't afford counseling, at least not now.  Maybe when my raises and benefits all fully kick in (don't ask me why it's on a time table)  And actually I'm part of management now, it would be extremely inconvenient for anybody to go a step higher than me and I really don't see them doing that, because they really need me in that place.  (not being egotistically, they really truly do).  I am confident that nobody will go over my head and do something like that.  I could see them possibly getting together and asking me to go, but I really don't see them *making* me.  For one reason, they aren't stupid.  They need me and they know I need them, they aren't going to do something that would force me to be cut off from them.  I may indeed go to rehab at some point, but not so soon after getting promoted into management.

 Ok let's see what we've got here buddy. We've got excuses. We've got a bit of denial going on too. Then some more excuses. Yep. You make a pretty good addict. Top points. Look. As one pill popping drunk to another your time is running out on this faster than you think. Once you start to think you're in control instead of the slave you are you're on the way down. There's no two ways about it. At least you have the sense to talk to us about it. But buddy you're in big trouble here. And putting it off until you have another excuse is just stupid. I mean you've got the bucks to buy your daily fixes right? Well that's where you're going to get your counseling  money. Besides there are community groups that'll do it free so that excuse is pretty lame. Strike one. Is that the best you got?

Now go haul ass to the nearest internet site run by alchoholics anonymous and dig deep into your schedule and figure or when you can meet with someone. I'll be here for you man. I'll always be here if you need me. But you've got to make the first move. No one can do that for you but you. 

Peace.

K. Let’s have this ride.

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Once again, I really don't want to be separated from the people in my real life that care about me right now. I also don't want to risk being separated from them forever (or at least not getting to see them on a regular basis anymore) by taking off so early after being promoted and I would really be screwing them if I did. I really don't know what's so hard to understand about that, and I'm not going to explain it again. But I really do appreciate the kind words, everybody.
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 (Edited)

Possessed said:

Once again, I really don't want to be separated from the people in my real life that care about me right now. I also don't want to risk being separated from them forever (or at least not getting to see them on a regular basis anymore) by taking off so early after being promoted and I would really be screwing them if I did. I really don't know what's so hard to understand about that, and I'm not going to explain it again. But I really do appreciate the kind words, everybody.

 I understand all your fears about the job and the family but what trident says is true, we don't mean to tell you what to do but you must understand that

A- Your mental and physical health is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life.

B- You need to do something about it because the pattern must be broke, a change is imperative.

Is not easy and there is a lot of fears around change but how do you pretend to enjoy and take care of your friends and family if you don't feel fine with yourself?. Nobody chooses to feel depressed or hopeless but you do have tools and options available to change that little by little.

Some things trident said may feel to raw but try to take them the best way possible, you have to take a first step out from that comfort zone of dealing with issues the way you do now.

Just as a side note, my older cousin (52) is currently on the first week of a four week long program for detox and recovery, he has issues with alcohol and cocaine and after four years of car/overdose accidents, paranoia attacks, family problems, issues at work etc, he understood that health is the 1st, 2nd and 3rd thing on the ''Important'' list. Please don't be my cousin who waited for the worse consequences to act, please seek help and I'm sure that everyone around you will support you 100%, including us. Seeking help does not necessarily  means that you will be away forever, it may only be for a little while or maybe just weekly meetings and you keep your regular life as it is, the sooner you act the better chances you have to work on the issue without disturbing your routine or going away.

The statement below is true
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I also have an addiction to eating food and electricity. I. Can't. Go. Yet.
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Possessed said:

I also have an addiction to eating food and electricity. I. Can't. Go. Yet.

My cousin used to say that and when he made up excuses no moment was the perfect moment, believe me that there won't be a perfect moment and all the moments are going to feel the bad moment so which is going to be the perfect moment? Next suicide attempt? next drunk/high session at work? next miserable day? You have to understand that if you don't seek help while having options then that makes you a little bit guilty of where you are now because you don't want to try a different way.

Anyway, I already said what I wanted to say and please don't take it the wrong way because I sincerely hope you get better, just don't forget that the ball in in your court and probably things won't change until you you are ready to make tough decisions and seek help.

May the force be with you.

The statement below is true
The statement above is false

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Possessed said:

I also have an addiction to eating food and electricity. I. Can't. Go. Yet.

 ...well I would suggest you give up eating electricity...this must be a somewhat shocking disorder... ;-)

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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Yeah. Ok. I get it. And I mean I'm no hero so you do whatever. I did my bit. Take care of yourself as you know how. 

And you too Ric. Nice to have seen you again. 

Peace out. 

K. Let’s have this ride.

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I drink and smoke pot more than before now, but on the plus side I don't think about killing myself quite as much anymore.  Only really at night now, instead of all day.  And even then not as intensely.  More of in a "I wish I were dead" kinda way than a "I think I should kill myself" kinda way.

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I'm glad you're recovering, even if only a little.

The Bunny, The Bunny, woah, I love The Bunny

Possessed said:
Danfun, do you also love the soup and the bread, or just the bunny?

SilverWook said:
Use of the bunny outside off topic is getting out of hand.
When outside off topic, use a link to the bunny if you really feel the need to invoke it.
Warnings will be next if some restraint is not shown.

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These posts continue to sadden me.  You are clearly a man of many talents and much value who has unfortunately come to rely on substances for coping.  I really want you to get help as soon as possible.  Still thinking about you :)

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 (Edited)

It seems I misread Possessed's post. I thought he said "I drink and smoke pot more then before now" as in "I don't abuse substances as much anymore".

Sorry if it looked like I was encouraging drug abuse.

The Bunny, The Bunny, woah, I love The Bunny

Possessed said:
Danfun, do you also love the soup and the bread, or just the bunny?

SilverWook said:
Use of the bunny outside off topic is getting out of hand.
When outside off topic, use a link to the bunny if you really feel the need to invoke it.
Warnings will be next if some restraint is not shown.

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Possessed. I know you don't want my sympathy in this. Or my words of wisdom. But you do have my understanding. I'm with what you're saying. I mean I'm down to thinking about offing myself to only about ten times a day. And yeah. It's often at night. Or when I'm really bored. That's down from about ten times an hour. So yeah. Progress.

Maybe you and I should hang out. I mean a misery shared is a misery doubled. Or something. 

Peace possessed. 

K. Let’s have this ride.

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Thanks folks.  After I got off work today I got some exercise for the first time in a while by running.  I've also been playing basketball some lately whenever I can find people to play with, used to be a passion of mine.  I also used to be really good at it.  Now I'm just 'ight.  But I'll get it back I'm sure.

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Glad to hear you are experiencing such exertions, my friend...I have been unable to run for quite some time...it began with knee trouble...and ended with acute laziness...I would have to discover something truly terrifying to motivate me into even a light trot...but I fear even considering such an outlay of physicality would simply have me prepared to embrace whatever fate the terror might have prepared...but then what terror might I expect to have entered my humble home? For I can never be found outside...so I suspect I remain safe...both from any such creature...and from the need to self-motivate in such a manner...

I was once…but now I’m not… Further: zyzzogeton

“It wasn’t the flood that destroyed the pantry…”

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Possessed said:

Once again, I really don't want to be separated from the people in my real life that care about me right now. I also don't want to risk being separated from them forever (or at least not getting to see them on a regular basis anymore) by taking off so early after being promoted and I would really be screwing them if I did. I really don't know what's so hard to understand about that, and I'm not going to explain it again. But I really do appreciate the kind words, everybody.

Having had my own experiences on such a path I can say with 100% certainty that I'm glad you're still with us and I'm glad you realize how important it is to have loved ones close, they are there for us even when we are not sure.

:)

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thanks. :) im doing pretty good today. corse im way off my rocker but some days that doesnt even help
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I’ve just about had fucking enough of this shit. Now my work family has bailed on me. I mean they are still there as I’m still working there but none of them will talk to me anymore since my promotion. I don’t know if they are jealous or what, but it fucking sucks dicks they were all I had. Even my best friend, who was my supervisor but is now my equal, won’t talk to me anymore. I don’t know if she just got off on ‘mothering’ me or something, or if perhaps it’s because I’m not as cheerful as I used to be (if that’s the reason then fuck her, all it would take was a little fucking support or just a tiny bit of reassurance that she still gave a shit about me and it would help ALOT… but nope), but I’m getting really strung out. I’m not contemplating killing myself anymore or anything, but I’m so stressed out and in distress, and I feel so lonely, I honestly don’t know what to do. I dread getting out of bed every morning, because I’m too stressed/distressed to sleep at night.

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Please remember you are not alone, there are people here who care about you. I don’t know what to say about what is happening with your coworkers, except to say that I am sorry you are having difficulties with them. I’ve said before and I’ll say it again: I wish you would seek therapy. I think it would really help you. I’ll keep you in my prayers.


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