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The Original Vision Post Trilogy: Special Edition

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Do you ever say to yourself, "I wish I was more like George Lucas"? Now you can be!

In this thread, post something relative to the topic, as always. Of course, the technology isn't yet available with which to share your Original Vision for the post, so you will have to amend your posts, over and over, until your artistic statement is made. Until that creative nirvana is attained, everyone reading will have to be content with half-finished posts - I hope no one falls in love with them in that unfinished state.

SE Edit: Frink shoots first, as was always my intention. I was very rushed on that day of the posting schedule.

Remember, posts on a message board aren't truly completed, they are only abandoned.

SE Edit: And at the far end of the bar sits a lizard with a rasta hat.

SE Commentary - VFP: I am, to be honest, embarrassed with the half-finished state of the original post. The technology unavailable to me yesterday has now advanced to the point where I could insert the lizard; that was some fine work done by the boys at VFPLM in fleshing out my Original Vision.

SE Commentary - VFP's Rick McCallum: Wow, VFP, that was a brilliant insert of that lizard. Tears are in my eyes - real tears.

SE Edit: Alec Guiness footage digitally replaced with Ewan McGregor screen test from Velvet Goldmine.

SE Commentary - VFP: I am very concerned about OT.com's heritage, and I am very concerned that the posts that I read when I was young and the posts that I read throughout my time here at OT.com are preserved, so that my children can read them. Unless the original posters want to change them, because it's...you know. I hope to God they can read them, children are our most valuable resource and everything, but screw the stupid kids if the original posters want the posts changed.

SE Commentary - VFP's Rick McCallum: Absolutely, VFP. And may I say A New Post has never been more brilliant, more lucid, more vibrant than it is right now.

SE Commentary - VFP: This is the kind of no-bull straight-shooting I hired you for, VFP's Rick.

SE Edit: All droid footage replaced with CGI droids on bluescreen with CGI Antonio Daniels and CGI Kenny Baker. CGI!

SE Commentary - VFP: I understand that there is an angry minority on the internet - OriginalThread.com - who resent the fact that I refined my Original Vision. What these people forget is that ANP:SE was always supposed to be for children. Really, this child-phobic group is taking all the fun out of ANP, which is a shame.

SE Commentary - VFP's Rick McCallum: VFP, they're not the only group unhappy with you; on TheVFPForce.net, one of the long-standing members there started a thread called: "A New Post - Meh?"

SE Commentary - VFP: Don't forget, VFP's Rick - ANP was set during a time when posters were older, slower, and couldn't flame each other the way they had during the glory days. A New Post portrays this accurately, as was always my intention.

SE Edit: Han Solo's "Yahoo!" replaced with the Emperor's scream from ROTP.

SE Edit: Everything in existence digitally replaced with the concept of CGI.

SE Bonus Feature - Ask The Creator:

TV's Frink asks: "Can't wait for The Post Strikes Back: Special Edition!"

VFP: Well, that's not really a question, but...my vision for VFP is that his father, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Darth Vader were young Jedi together, having adventures, when Vader betrays and kills VFP's father. It's a very macro story, one that will take five more posts to tell.

Someone who looks like VFP's Rick McCallum with an enormous, obviously phony mustache asks: VFP, is it fair - is it accurate that you are known throughout the world as the Shakespeare, the Ghandi, the Abraham Lincoln, the Dalai Lama, the Mother Theresa of cinema?

VFP: Is it fair? That's not my call to make. I'll leave that question to the observers of tomorrow, those who make it their life's calling to pore over the annals of history. But is it accurate? Yes. Yes it is.

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

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I've always wanted to post twice in a thread where someone said, "One post per person."  And Regardless of what he says, Ric is not my sister, and neither are our posts.

And I predict that ... will be president in 2012.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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Best Thread Ever!

EDIT: Worst Thread Ever!

EDIT: Worst Thread Ever, but I like the new Wampa!

BONUS DELETED SCENE EDIT: Someone appears to have missed the point of this thread.

EDIT: Can't wait for The Post Strikes Back: Special Edition!

INTERACTIVE EDIT: Wow, my non-question was answered in the Special Edition of the Original Post.  This thread is so much better than the boring Original Thread.  And the new CG doesn't stand out at all - I swear it was in here the whole time.

BONUS DELETED SCENE EDIT: Someone cheated.

BONUS DELETED SCENE EDIT: Someone posted twice and therefore loses the thread!

BONUS DELETED SCENE EDIT:  I'm hoping for more posts.  Normally I'd bump this sucker, but then I'd be as bad as xhonzi.

BONUS DELETED SCENE EDIT: Nice to see a new post, but someone feels it unnecessary to amend his Original Vision.

EDIT: Perhaps I should now make a second post?

FOLLOW UP EDIT: I was so excited for THE POST STRIKES BACK: SPECIAL EDITION that I didn't even notice it was happening in this very thread.

BONUS DELETED SCENE EDIT: Someone is replacing edits instead of adding to them.  I'm going to start originaledit.com so I can get those precious edits back.

EDIT: The Original Vision Post Trilogy is complete.  I feel so empty inside.

EDIT: Holiday Special?  I feel full inside.

EDIT: Suck it, Solo!  Greedo too!

BONUS DELETED SCENE EDIT: Hi CP3S!

EDIT: It's lonely in here.

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Episode VII.

Twenty years ago the technology wasn't available and nobody uses their imagination.

Lookout for the Widescreen VHS release. The it will be gone forever.

Now with added THX.

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miker71 said:

EDIT: The CIA - Mossad link analogy was intentional all along.

 Curious here, where's there a CIA-Mossad link analogy? 

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I made a post.

EDIT: I planned for xhonzi's post to be my post's sister all along.  But you all never saw it coming, and it was BRILLIANT!

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I feel somehow taken advantage of... but I'm not sure how or why...

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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I never posted in this thread more than once.  That is an invention of the media.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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Interesting idea... See C3PX! Look at the cool/weird stuff you miss out on when you never bother to delve into the nerdier depths of the forums... Yeah, yeah, I know...

Looks like this sucker's been dead for a few days, that just wont do. Let's keep this going.

 

EDIT: This was a lot more fun before everyone started posting like normal rather than editing their original... too bad very few people will ever bother to back up and read this post...

 

EDIT 2: Yay! Glad to hear Fink is doing this project!

 

EDIT 3: Hmm, this thread really should have never left page one. I am very disappointed in you all. What a great concept, tossed right out the window!

 

EDIT 4: I've been regularly participating in this thread, and no one even know it! But I REFUSE to make a second post!

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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"We should go someplace where the Imperials won't find us, like a frigid planet with no discernable sources of energy or useful supplies."

"I'll be right behind you Han - I just want to go check out a meteorite. This one meteorite, which is likely the size of a Jawa's fist, will undoubtedly hold the key to our defeat of the Empire, so it's worth risking an encounter with a man-eating monster."

"I can't stay with you, Leia. The full might and power of the Rebel Alliance can't protect me from the occasional small-time bounty hunter."

"I feel great! That blow to the back of my head left one hell of a scar on my face, though."

"The Rebels are there. Have Admiral Ozzel set course for the Hoth system, and have the ship which launched the probe droid near Hoth go somewhere else."

"No, we're not going into an asteroid field; this is a debris field. Asteroids are much, much farther apart than this!"

"Artoo, we're going down! If only we had done a preliminary scan of the planet - we all know how fog is fatal to spaceships!"

"Set us down...there, Chewie. And do it with a huge, spectacular loop-de-loop. But don't call it that in the ship's log."

"Asteroids do not concern me. I want that ship, not excuses."

"Lord Vader, the Emperor demands you make contact with him."

"Move this ship out of the asteroid field so that we can send a clear transmission!"

"Uh, my Lord...asteroids won't have any effect onGHHHHHHK! ACK! AAAAAAAAACK!!"

"Mynocks. Chewie and I have run into them before. They usually hang out inside the mouths of giant, vacuum-breathing monsters, so it's kind of weird to find them here."

"My lord, we have them! And by 'We have them', I mean, we can see them and have a good chance to capture them!"

"Oh no!! I cut off Vader's head in the middle of a weird hallucination and my face was in there! Could this be foreshadowing?!?"

"My lord, the ship no longer appears on any of our scopes! And our ship has suddenly gained 5,000 pounds!"

"You'll find I'm full of surprises - for instance, you didn't think I'd let myself get disarmed so easily, did you?"

"GODDAMN YOU LANDO I'M GOING TO CHOKE YOU TO DEATH THANKS FOR FREEING US FROM THE IMPERIALS I'M A MINDLESS SAVAGE THEREFORE I CAN'T SEE THE BIG PICTURE!!"

"That's it Chewie, choke the son of a bitch to death! He could have easily kept Darth Vader, that guy who can choke people with his mind and flies around in a ship bigger than Cloud City, from capturing the man I love!"

"NO...That's not true! That's IMPOSSIBLE!! And furious denials never indicate actual acceptance of a difficult truth!"

"Lando and Chewie are leaving...let's all see them off together, standing in a kind of pose. That would be meaningful in some way."

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

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Haha, that is the best worst bestest best tenth post ever in this thread!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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vote_for_palpatine, you just did the shortest and funniest recap of ESB I've ever read.

“It’s a lot of fun… it’s a lot of fun to watch Star Wars.” – Bill Moyers

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"The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am. And what does that tell you? Because I'm not a very forgiving person at all! Imagine how much worse he must be."

"You should be worried, Artoo. Master Lando and Chewbacca never returned from this awful place. Which is weird that I say that, because isn't Mistress Leia going to bring Chewbacca here later?"

"Ho ho ho! I have no intention of giving up my favorite decoration. I like Solo where he is. And I plan to install some track lighting above him, with a Roman pillar on each side."

"Uh-oh, that Rancor is headed straight for me! I know! I'll softly lob this skull at the gate control!"

"Han, are you all right?"

"Fine. Together again, huh?"

"Wouldn't miss it!"

"How're we doing?"

"Same as always!"

"That bad, huh?"

(together) "THIRD BASE!"

"I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda, and the arrogance of my youth will undoubtedly be accurately depicted once someone does a movie about it."

"I'm with you too - hey! What's with the silent treatment? Why isn't anyone reacting to me? Remember me, blew up a Death Star? Hel-lo-o?"

"The Force is strong in my family. My father has a lot of midichlorians. I have a lot of midichlorians. And my sister - has a lot of midichlorians."

"Good work, commander. No one - and I mean no one - brings in surrendering Rebels like you do. Just think what would have happened without you there - he might have surrendered to someone else if not for your heroism! We ought to hold a freaking ticker-tape parade on Coruscant for you. 'Hey everybody, look at me, I captured Luke Skywalker! Woooot!' Get out of here, douchebag!"

"A Jedi's weapon - much like a flashlight. You know which ones, the kind with the metal ribbing down the side, like grandma used to have?"

"Chewie - get down here! She's wounded! I need you and your extensive medical training ASAP!"

"Take that, red lightsaber! And that! And that and that and that!!"

"Yeehaaah! Now that we're out of that Death Star tunnel, we're 100% safe! Being outside the structure will protect us from an enormous explosion!"

"YES! We liberated the galaxy! Let's sing a really goofy, half-Ewok half Basic song to celebrate!!"

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

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Bump This is the Holiday Post Special! And if I get a hold of this post one day, I will smash it with a hammer!

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

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Slightly before vote_for_palpatine's fourth post a mom, a dad, a kid called Mace who looked like Jake Lloyd only a bit older with some kind inflated head disease and this really scary little girl who was a vegetarian and despite her age dressed like an extra from Fame the television series, crashed their car into this thread and were befriended by Ewoks.

They wandered around trying to find the castle of Nockmaar while being attacked by Siân Phillips played by Jean Marsh.

A troop of brownies turned up lead by Billy Connolly who was hiding from the evil Queen in full drag (with coconuts for boobs) and they sang a song about making fire and eating ants with a giant Sasquatch played by John Lithgow in a skin.

Everyone escaped to a planet populated by giant vampire ducks all played by Charles Dance. They try to get the girl Zindee to eat porridge mixed with blood but it's too hot and the devil turned up and but the dad played by Lawrence Of Arabia uses the Bawongi wand to open a portal into the phantom zone and traps the devil there for a thousand years until he can kill a unicorn which somehow proves that Han Solo is a robot.

The family finally get their car fixed and leave The Crescent City being chased by a friendly robot who has gone on an insane killing spree after being hit by lightning (played by Eddie Murphy and Bill Oddie respectively).

The Ewoks (who have only one female) then reveal that they can speak perfect English but neglected to tell anyone because they are from France.

After a bizarre Ice Dance routine, they make good use of the things that they find, the things that the everyday folks leave behind...until they were all shot dead by Mike Batt who wrote the haunting theme tune for Paul Simon.

Initially made for European Television this was such a big hit it got a very successful cinema release and eclipsed the success of the many films that inspired it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6Dp2OfIT_M

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Well now I have no choice but to repost my Original Vision for TPM from another thread (no 2nd posts be damned):

Ric Olie said:

The film opens with several long sequences that no one could possibly be interested in.  Lots of robots, laser swords, and frog-men.

Part way through the film, a brave, handsome, and observant starship captain enters the story.  He makes several witty remarks and generally saves the day.

The rest of the movie continues on like the first part, with more robots, laser swords, and frog-men, with some politics thrown in to really slow things down.

The brave, handsome, and observant starship captain shows up once or twice more, making more witty remarks.  The climax of the film occurs when he helps blow up the evil robot control ship by observing the whiny kid's actions.

The film ends with two scenes:

1) Everyone is sad, not because the force-dude is being burned to a crisp, but rather because the brave, handsome, and observant starship captain does not speak during the scene.

2) Everyone is happy, not because the frog-men get an electro-static ball, but because the brave, handsome, and observant starship captain is promised more work in the next movie.

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(no 2nd posts be damned)

There is no such prohibition on second posts. If you'll review A New Post: SE, you'll find nothing of the sort. It was always my intention for people to have multiple posts on this thread. The Rolling Stone interview I did in the late '70's has been taken out of context, but unfortunately the myth persists to this day.

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

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vote_for_palpatine said:

(no 2nd posts be damned)

There is no such prohibition on second posts. If you'll review A New Post: SE, you'll find nothing of the sort.

Damn revisionist history.  Well, I'm not going to make a second post.  I'll sooner be dead than allow my....

What?  Aww crap.

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TV's Frink-

You sir are the one spreading these lies about VPN's original post!  STOP IT!

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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xhonzi said:

You sir are the one spreading these lies about VPN's original post!

Who the hell is VPN?

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Who the hell is VPN?

vote_palpatine_now, a poster with a name similar to mine who has not yet weighed in on this thread. Or, for that matter, probably hasn't registered.

Want to book yourself or a guest on THE VFP Show? PM me!

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:(  VFP.

VPN is, obviously, a Virtual Private Network.

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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BUT DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

IT'S MY TRILOGY, AND I WANT IT NOW!

"[George Lucas] rebooted the franchise in 1997 without telling anyone." -skyjedi2005

"Yeah, well, George says a lot of things..." a young 1997 xhonzi on RASSM

"They're my movies." -George Lucas. 19 people won oscars for their work on Star Wars (1977) and George Lucas wasn't one of them.

Rewrite the Prequels!

 

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TV's Frink said:

xhonzi said:

You sir are the one spreading these lies about VPN's original post!

Who the hell is VPN?

Jeez Frink, you need everything spelled out for you?  Too bad there isn't anyone who specializes in that sort of thing.

(pssst...I need work)

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vote_for_palpatine said:

(no 2nd posts be damned)

There is no such prohibition on second posts. If you'll review A New Post: SE, you'll find nothing of the sort. It was always my intention for people to have multiple posts on this thread. The Rolling Stone interview I did in the late '70's has been taken out of context, but unfortunately the myth persists to this day.

COMING SOON: THE OOP FROM JAN 2009!

Well guess what I found - an old laserdisc with VFP's orginal post, containing the text telling everyone to only post once! It's in pretty bad shape, but I'm going to clean it up as best I can.  I will probably use the February 2010 version of this thread and just splice in the deleted part so we will have the ACTUAL original post in the best possible quality.  I may also throw in some music from the January 2009 mono mix that was thought to be lost until Zigfried sent it to me a few days ago.

The orginal post will be available on the following formats: AVI, DVD-5, DVD-9, AVCHD, PDF, WinWord, WordPerfect, and Notepad.

If anyone would like to make cover art I would really appreaciate it.

PM if you want the links once it's done and uploaded.