The New Republic Movie Series EPIV: A Threat From Beyond (An Ahsoka Series Edit) [RELEASED] — Page 7

smudger9 said:

So last night I was working on removing Hera and the New Republic from Seatos. Here is a proof of concept for the sequence from Ahsoka being pulled from the water to her departing in the space whale. There will need to be alteration of Huyang’s dialogue and removing the Ghost from a couple of shots. Thoughts?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xTHdvaVItybDqsEHn8_BUZT3ahRPGEqG

Looks good, very promising 😉 In general, it works very well as it is. And the pacing is much better than in the series.

I’m not a skilled editor, but it seems that removing Ghost/Hera from those shots should be very doable.

Regarding Huyang saving Ahsoka - I’m not sure if someone posted it in this thread or in the Ahsoka Redux thread, but I think someone already worked on it 😉
Also, i think that if you just shorten the dialogue, the explanation is not really needed. I mean, the viewer would just simply assume the droid found her and saved her.

Jar Jar Bricks said:

I like it! Obviously needs the AI lines from Huyang that he was the one who found her. Maybe also consider shortening up her auditory flashback so that the camera doesn’t have to pan over Hera and the ghost.

Yes. That will all be done. It’s just a very rough cut to see if it works.

smudger9 said:

So last night I was working on removing Hera and the New Republic from Seatos. Here is a proof of concept for the sequence from Ahsoka being pulled from the water to her departing in the space whale. There will need to be alteration of Huyang’s dialogue and removing the Ghost from a couple of shots. Thoughts?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xTHdvaVItybDqsEHn8_BUZT3ahRPGEqG

You can check WitchDR’s work (Huyang’s saving Ahsoka) which he posted in Ahsoka Redux thread:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/16i210vISm-52HAErEJ3kfUyQcrJi8GDH/view

Out of curiosity, would it be possible to edit the Hera trial scene to be referring to the Corellia incident? That could allow us to cut Hera and Jacen out of Seatos, but still provide a conclusion for the New Republic arc in the show.

losthead said:

Out of curiosity, would it be possible to edit the Hera trial scene to be referring to the Corellia incident? That could allow us to cut Hera and Jacen out of Seatos, but still provide a conclusion for the New Republic arc in the show.

That would be straightforward to do, although I’m currently working on removing the New Republic plot completely.

smudger9 said:

losthead said:

Out of curiosity, would it be possible to edit the Hera trial scene to be referring to the Corellia incident? That could allow us to cut Hera and Jacen out of Seatos, but still provide a conclusion for the New Republic arc in the show.

That would be straightforward to do, although I’m currently working on removing the New Republic plot completely.

This is the way! 😉

So I’ve completed the first cut and it’s clocking in at 3h10. This is a little too long, but I haven’t yet removed the New Republic plot from the middle act. That should save 5 to 10 mins. I’ve now gone back to tighten up act 1 and have managed to chip the running time down to 3h07, so I’m getting there and confident that I can bring this in at 2h55 or so.

In terms of the first act there are a couple of sequences that are crucial to the current structure that I wanted an opinion on. It uses AI dialogue to allow me to remove the Correlia and droid head scenes. It would be great to get feedback on

1. Whether the AI voices are good enough.
2. Whether the plot is good enough to get them from Lothal to Seatos without needing to use the droid head. I can put a much shortened droid head sequence back in if needed.

This is the medical bay sequence
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PUOxAdTMZyKWIRPqRqL35h70j2BUwXDL

This is the Ashoka/Sabine platform sequence
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1F0GJz6yXZYY6V1gUQ2HM_CAOtK3nPe4Z

smudger9 said:

So I’ve completed the first cut and it’s clocking in at 3h10. This is a little too long, but I haven’t yet removed the New Republic plot from the middle act. That should save 5 to 10 mins. I’ve now gone back to tighten up act 1 and have managed to chip the running time down to 3h07, so I’m getting there and confident that I can bring this in at 2h55 or so.

In terms of the first act there are a couple of sequences that are crucial to the current structure that I wanted an opinion on. It uses AI dialogue to allow me to remove the Correlia and droid head scenes. It would be great to get feedback on

1. Whether the AI voices are good enough.
2. Whether the plot is good enough to get them from Lothal to Seatos without needing to use the droid head. I can put a much shortened droid head sequence back in if needed.

This is the medical bay sequence
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PUOxAdTMZyKWIRPqRqL35h70j2BUwXDL

This is the Ashoka/Sabine platform sequence
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1F0GJz6yXZYY6V1gUQ2HM_CAOtK3nPe4Z

It sounds great.
I listened to it twice on my earphones and it sounds really good. I didn’t spot anything off.

Tbh, in the first one (medical bay) I don’t even know where the AI voices were placed.

Thanks for the feedback. I’ll lock down the first act then.
I’m currently working on a second cut with completed audio transitions. It’s taking a bit of time because along with the numerous scene cuts, virtually every remaining scene has been trimmed. The first third is done but it’s slow going!

I’m now up to the end of episode 3 with my second cut. This is the most challenging episode because it essentially only had one job… to get Sabine and Ahsoka to the surface of Seatos… but it took 30 miniutes to accomplish it! It required a LOT of cutting. I’ve managed to get it down to 15 minutes. I could have done it in 11 minutes had it not been for Ahsoka’s costume change!

Anyway, as its only a 15 minute segment and has been massively edited I thought I’d post it here for some feedback. The first three episodes clock in at 1h 8mins including the opening logos and crawl… I would have liked to have done it in an hour, but it still has me on track for the magic sub 3-hour target.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1u1SaVjW2yCsvPXPJcnpmkYHkR_DSUJfi

Overall I liked it. The only changes I would propose are morphing some shots to remove useless reaction scenes. For example, the reaction shot of Sabine during Ahsoka’s line: “Talent is a factor. (pause) But training and focus are what really defines someone’s success.” I think that most of the dialogue flows much better without these irritating breaks. I don’t have this particular clip rendered, but I did a similar edit to the spar when Sabine dismisses Ahsoka’s lesson as a joke and it helps with the scene’s flow and intensity. (Here, at approximately 1:40 https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ErHoanz2vpIC_gFcPBb25eQWRfIoF73O/view?usp=share_link)

Other than that, I would suggest removing the bit with Morgan on the bridge to stay with our heroes for that moment. So instead of:

-sighting of the ring
-Shin contacting Morgan and weapons readying up
-Sabine reporting that the fighters break up
-shot of the shuttle approaching the ring
-The eye of Sion opens fire

I would suggest keeping the mystery about the huge f*cking hyperspace ring a bit longer. So,

-sighting of the ring
-shot of the shuttle approaching
-Sabine reporting that the fighters break up
-Eye of Sion readying the turbo lasers and opening fire

Furthermore, I was a little upset that you cut Huyang’s sassy “closer please.”

Oh, and before I forget it, I feel like you could try changing the close-up shots of Sabine steering the ship through Seatos’ atmosphere. During the first close-up, the extreme 180-degree turn on the lever feels more befitting of the daring dive between the Purrgil.

I don’t know in what direction you want to take this show tonally and if you already have a clear outline in mind, I don’t want to dissuade you from that. But after rewatching Andor (thanks to EddieDean) I feel that you should take Ahsoka in the complete opposite direction and strive toward a much lighter tone, more similar to the cartoons because Ahsoka has neither the performance, the plot, nor the score to sustain itself without becoming comical. So, leaning into the snappy bits of dialogue and the occasional humor (like Ahsoka floating through space) might be the best way to approach the movie.

What do you think of leaving out the scenes that have ashoka fighting her way back to paridea, that way you keep the suspense and anticipation of her return, maybe only keeping the shot of her calling to Sabine with the force as confirmation that she has arrived. So you would cut from her jumping to light speed until she comes to save the day pretty much. Which shaves a good bit for faster pacing.

idir_hh said:

What do you think of leaving out the scenes that have ashoka fighting her way back to paridea, that way you keep the suspense and anticipation of her return, maybe only keeping the shot of her calling to Sabine with the force as confirmation that she has arrived. So you would cut from her jumping to light speed until she comes to save the day pretty much. Which shaves a good bit for faster pacing.

It’s actually a very good idea

GLogus said:

idir_hh said:

What do you think of leaving out the scenes that have ashoka fighting her way back to paridea, that way you keep the suspense and anticipation of her return, maybe only keeping the shot of her calling to Sabine with the force as confirmation that she has arrived. So you would cut from her jumping to light speed until she comes to save the day pretty much. Which shaves a good bit for faster pacing.

I actually like this. Sadly, it cuts more of Ahsoka out of her own show, but it’s already kinda Sabine’s show anyway.

That’s my feeling too. It’s a great way to cut the runtime down but it will shift the balance to Sabine and make the third act feel too short.
Also, given that the plot is largely the search for Ezra/Thrawn I feel we need to see Ahsoka’s journey. Having her just show up will feel contrived.