The New Republic Movie Series EPIV: A Threat From Beyond (An Ahsoka Series Edit) [RELEASED] — Page 13

Hi, if I could be added to the list, I have enjoyed your other edits immensely . Thanks in advance

This is the “final” cut? If that the case can I get the link? Thanks.

Hi, Smudger. I watched your Ahsoka edit again and on this viewing made extensive notes while doing so. Having finished it for a third time, it is my conviction that there is still a lot that can be cut or modified in order to:

a) remove the remaining farcical elements,
b) improve pacing,
c) heighten tension,
d) enhance gravitas, and
d) provide a shorter runtime.

I believe these are the major issues still present in your edit, and below are sixteen suggestions for improvements you might consider. I apologize if they are long, but I wanted to make sure you understood my rationale for each one.

1. To begin, does the scene with Sabine watching the old hologram recording of Ezra really add much at all? Furthermore, for Ezra to suggest he sees Sabine more as a sister is actually a retcon of Rebels, because Ezra clearly had a crush on Sabine in that series. Also, the shot of her dreaming about Ezra doesn’t appear to add much either. Yes, these shots each establish that Sabine still thinks of him and misses him, but either the viewer has some familiarity with Rebels or they don’t. If they do, they can infer that Ezra was a dear friend that they all still miss. If they don’t, they’re going to be lost anyway because this show doesn’t actually explain much. Simply knowing that the map might lead them to Ezra sets the ball rolling well enough, because we already know Ezra’s significance. We don’t need to be reminded that Sabine loves, nay, sorta likes him.

2. I’d argue the shot where Ahsoka is whining that Sabine can’t be trusted because she took the map is unnecessary. Aside from it being poorly acted, we simply don’t need a whole subplot dedicated to how Ahsoka and Sabine persevered and grew their friendship and overcame their differences. Why? Because there’s nothing actually meaningful, satisfying, nor even logical about the arc of their relationship, nor does it add much if anything to the main story. In fact, if Ahsoka had any doubts about Sabine, they are only reconfirmed by Sabine’s idiotic and irresponsible actions throughout. That Ahsoka learned to pop a Xanax, fold her arms, and giggle whenever Sabine does something stupid is not a satisfying resolution to their rift. In short, I would retain enough to establish that their relationship is strained, but I would scrap the nonsensical relationship arc that the series creators tried to extract from it.

3. Here’s a possible fix to the insultingly ridiculous scene where Ahsoka is fighting off enemy spacecraft with her lightsabers: After their ship is damaged and rendered inoperable, it seems that Shin et al have for whatever reason lost track of them. Instead of having Ahsoka go out to distract them, suggest that she is simply going outside to make repairs (the ship was clearly significantly damaged from the outside). While Sabine tries to make repairs from the inside, Ahsoka works from the outside. Suggest that they are both racing to fix the ship before Shin finds them again. (Obviously you would need to find a way to delay Shin actually finding them using fanediting wizardry.) You could still show Ahsoka stepping out of the ship a her spacesuit thereby explaining the costume change, but you would need to cut away before she ignited her lightsabers. Or I don’t know, maybe you could edit her carrying tools instead of lightsabers (more fanediting wizardry, for sure). Ahsoka succeeds and we show her rushing back inside just as Shin is coming up on them and maybe even fires a couple shots.

4. Most of these are suggested cuts to shave precious seconds off of the final runtime, but I would actually like to suggest you re-integrate Jacen’s initial introduction. Sure, we never get an explanation as to why Hera is recklessly bringing her young child into a dangerous situation (is it take your child to work day?), but at least it won’t be doubly jarring because it’s also the first time we see him. I also think that since he plays a pivotal role in saving Ahsoka’s life, and in doing so reveals that he is force sensitive, we can spend a little more time introducing him. I also have a feeling Jacen will be important to the franchise going forward, and I wouldn’t even be surprised if Ahsoka or Luke trains him. However, please remove his, “Mom, I’ve got a bad feeling…” line. What?! It’s ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about THIS’. Geezus, Disney, can’t you get anything right?

5. Perhaps you could cut Sabine’s line to Thrawn: “I’d rather not waste anymore time, what kind of ride do you have around here.” I mean, he is making a valid point about Sabine gambling the fate of the galaxy on her belief that Ezra is still alive. I just think it gives his line more weight if we linger on it instead of ending with Sabine’s smug (and somewhat annoying) response. He’s right, after all, yet Sabine is never seriously confronted about it by anyone else, nor held to account. At least by leaving her dumbstruck, we can imply that she was deeply shaken by his words, which might even serve to suggest why her later reunion with Ezra is so awkward, or why she was reluctant to be honest with him about how she got there. In other words, I think Sabine should increasingly feel the gravity of her reckless choices as the film progresses.

6. The line where Huyang and Ahsoka are entering the Purgil and Ahsoka reveals that she has no idea where they’re going just comes off as incredibly irresponsible. I suppose we’re supposed to believe Ahsoka is simply trusting in the Force. I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t come off as intended. “Well, it’s better than going nowhere.”—Ahsoka’s increasingly zenlike attitude doesn’t just cut through the tension of the third act, it blows it to smithereens. It’s annoying and only ramps up as we near the film’s conclusion. I mean, if Ahsoka’s half-asleep for the second half of the movie, why shouldn’t the viewer be, too? It’s also pretty obvious already where the Purgil are going, making the exchange between the two pointless. Ahsoka needs to lay off the Ambien.

7. Remove the Anakin hologram training session. It doesn’t add anything valuable to the story and is just so mundane. Also, her vision of Anakin in the World between Worlds was pretty special, and I think the hologram recording of Anakin only serves to diminish that moment. One appearance by Hayden Christensen is enough, especially given how great his performance was.

8. Ezra and Sabine’s reunion is so muted and dispassionate that I suggest you cut away at the moment they embrace, intercut some other scene, and then cut back the moment they end their hug. At least then the viewer can IMAGINE a more heartfelt reunion. Disney may be doubling down on the brother/sister dynamic, but even siblings wouldn’t be this lacking in genuine affection given the circumstances. I don’t know how this works in practical terms, but it’s an idea to play around with at least. I also think their banter before the hug heavily detracts from the moment, but removing that might prove too challenging.

9. The scene where Sabine and Ezra are just leisurely riding along also breaks the tension that should be steadily building at this point. -For crying out loud, Sabine even has her feet up!- I’d at least trim the first part where Ezra is recapping everything he missed, and Sabine is needlessly foreshadowing Palpatine’s return in TRoS. This bit of dialogue slows down the pace and doesn’t give the viewer any new or relevant information. Again, either the viewer’s familiar with basic SW lore, or they aren’t. This brief exchange isn’t going to bring them up to speed. Instead, I’d start the scene with Sabine’s line, “I was beginning to think I’d never find you,” because at least that’s relevant to the plot.

10. I’ve already asked for this, but please take out Ahsoka’s giggle when she reunites with Ezra. These moments where Ahsoka is seemingly high out of her mind don’t make for an immersive, engaging viewing experience. I get that Ahsoka is now “Ahsoka the White” since her transformation, but her carefree attitude completely undercuts the tension of the rest of the film, and I would argue it is one of the series’ most significant problems. She should still be stoic like a Jedi on the outside, even if she’s feeling more optimistic on the inside. Nuance is your friend.

11. Trim Morgan’s drawn out initiation scene. Who cares? She’s dead five minutes later anyway. It’s overlong and self-indulgent.

12. Tighten up significantly Ezra rebuilding his lightsaber. It’s only important to establish that Ezra is assembling a new lightsaber to maintain continuity with later scenes. The excessive reminiscing once again cuts through the tension and isn’t appropriate this near to the film’s climax. The scene is also meant as a segue into the following scene, i.e., the resolution between Sabine and Ahsoka. However, I would like to propose something radically different here…

13. Here me out. Have Huyang explain to Ezra Ahsoka’s reservations about Sabine, but just leave it at that (and maybe cut Sabine out of the scene altogether if possible). Then shave a couple of minutes off your edit by removing altogether the following scene where Sabine and Ahsoka make amends. Please, give this one some thought. For one thing, it is yet to be demonstrated that Sabine’s gamble paid off, so Ahsoka has no reason to say that it has. (The show wants to tell us that Sabine did the right thing, or at least NOT the wrong thing, but none of it rings true, because actions have consequences, good or bad, and Sabine is being treated with kid gloves by the show and protected from those consequences.) Furthermore, Ahsoka’s master/apprentice relationship to Anakin is not at all comparable to her relationship with Sabine. In fact, Anakin’s fall to the dark side is a stark reminder of why Ahsoka should indeed have deep reservations about training Sabine. Again, nothing about this resolution rings true. Sabine is never confronted or held accountable, and given the situation they’re in, ‘sorry’ doesn’t quite cut it. Again, I suggest you cut the entire scene and leave matters between them unresolved. I believe it’s far more interesting if that subtle distrust between them persists by the end of the film, especially since they are marooned together on a strange planet for an indefinite amount of time. A less hopeful and harmonious ending for this film would actually be a welcome improvement.

14. I was bugging you earlier about the sounds the zombie troopers make when they reanimate. However, I later realized that the zombie troopers scene isn’t even necessary and can be cut entirely. The revelation that they can reanimate has no significant bearing on the rest of the film as they don’t pose a significant threat in the first place. It’s also beyond preposterous and blatantly derivative of zombie horror flicks, which simply isn’t appropriate for Star Wars, imo.

15. I had argued earlier that you should reintegrate Sabine’s Force push, but now I believe cutting it was the right thing to do. Your alternative is the best of all possible scenarios. It may need more finessing, but I think you have the right idea. I can accept that, earlier, Sabine was able to pull the lightsaber towards herself, because I like the idea of her being a Mandalorian who can sort of wield the Force…but a Jedi she ain’t. (That’s what the series had implied earlier anyway.) I.e., anyone can tap into the Force to some extent, but still, not everyone is fit to be a Jedi. That said, the Force push really strained credulity and felt completely unearned. I’d only add that maybe you could make it less comedic and more badass by removing Ezra’s initial yelp when Sabine propels him forward.

16. Lastly, I would cut Anakin’s Force Ghost appearance at the end of the film. It may be foreshadowing his role in Ahsoka Season 2, but does it really matter? It smacks of pure fan service anyway, and like the training hologram, including it only makes his World between Worlds appearance feel less special. Furthermore, his presence in that moment is reassuring and hopeful, but the conclusion of this film should be hit harder if it was more somber and uncertain. Anakin’s presence only detracts from the reality of their hopeless situation.

Instead of Ahsoka telling Sabine not to worry and that everything will be okay, she should be silent, and her silence should be deafening. After all, everything is NOT actually okay, and even Ahsoka the White is apprehensive about the implications of being stranded on an unfamiliar planet while Thrawn executes his master plan. I’d also remove the part where Ahsoka says she knows Ezra is okay. Faith and hope are only inspiring to the viewer in the face of uncertainty and despair, but Ahsoka is so unfazed by everything that she isn’t even being challenged, making her inaccessible to the viewer. It’s nice that she’s having such a sublime, transcendent experience, but please, bring her back down to earth!

In conclusion, I think this edit needs a greater sense of rising action and heightened stakes. At the same time, the mood needs to descend lower, sinking ever deeper into despair. The good guys lost, after all. They should feel the sting of that loss. The film needs to be shorter, but it also needs to deliver a greater sense of urgency. Ashoka needs to not be so disconnected from the events taking place around her, and Sabine needs to feel the weight of her recklessness—and be afraid. These are strange, uncertain circumstances, after all.

Thanks again for all your wonderful edits, Smudger. I think, given enough tlc, your Ashoka edit will someday shine as brightly as your Mando edits!

Great work, Smudger. I greatly appreciate your work on the Ahsoka series. Great quality, too! Thank you

I realized that I didn’t leave you a review of this one. Great job as always, Smudger. At first it hurt me to see the Corellia part removed but, as always happens with your edits, you usually cut things that I really like but I end up understanding the reason for doing so.

This one in particular, I really liked seeing it with the format you propose of a saga of The New Republic. Very much in favor of having a narrative that is as unfragmented as possible between series that will later have points of connection with each other.

GLogus said:

Hi, Smudger. I watched your Ahsoka edit again and on this viewing made extensive notes while doing so. Having finished it for a third time, it is my conviction that there is still a lot that can be cut or modified in order to:

a) remove the remaining farcical elements,
b) improve pacing,
c) heighten tension,
d) enhance gravitas, and
d) provide a shorter runtime.

I believe these are the major issues still present in your edit, and below are sixteen suggestions for improvements you might consider. I apologize if they are long, but I wanted to make sure you understood my rationale for each one.

1. To begin, does the scene with Sabine watching the old hologram recording of Ezra really add much at all? Furthermore, for Ezra to suggest he sees Sabine more as a sister is actually a retcon of Rebels, because Ezra clearly had a crush on Sabine in that series. Also, the shot of her dreaming about Ezra doesn’t appear to add much either. Yes, these shots each establish that Sabine still thinks of him and misses him, but either the viewer has some familiarity with Rebels or they don’t. If they do, they can infer that Ezra was a dear friend that they all still miss. If they don’t, they’re going to be lost anyway because this show doesn’t actually explain much. Simply knowing that the map might lead them to Ezra sets the ball rolling well enough, because we already know Ezra’s significance. We don’t need to be reminded that Sabine loves, nay, sorta likes him.

2. I’d argue the shot where Ahsoka is whining that Sabine can’t be trusted because she took the map is unnecessary. Aside from it being poorly acted, we simply don’t need a whole subplot dedicated to how Ahsoka and Sabine persevered and grew their friendship and overcame their differences. Why? Because there’s nothing actually meaningful, satisfying, nor even logical about the arc of their relationship, nor does it add much if anything to the main story. In fact, if Ahsoka had any doubts about Sabine, they are only reconfirmed by Sabine’s idiotic and irresponsible actions throughout. That Ahsoka learned to pop a Xanax, fold her arms, and giggle whenever Sabine does something stupid is not a satisfying resolution to their rift. In short, I would retain enough to establish that their relationship is strained, but I would scrap the nonsensical relationship arc that the series creators tried to extract from it.

3. Here’s a possible fix to the insultingly ridiculous scene where Ahsoka is fighting off enemy spacecraft with her lightsabers: After their ship is damaged and rendered inoperable, it seems that Shin et al have for whatever reason lost track of them. Instead of having Ahsoka go out to distract them, suggest that she is simply going outside to make repairs (the ship was clearly significantly damaged from the outside). While Sabine tries to make repairs from the inside, Ahsoka works from the outside. Suggest that they are both racing to fix the ship before Shin finds them again. (Obviously you would need to find a way to delay Shin actually finding them using fanediting wizardry.) You could still show Ahsoka stepping out of the ship a her spacesuit thereby explaining the costume change, but you would need to cut away before she ignited her lightsabers. Or I don’t know, maybe you could edit her carrying tools instead of lightsabers (more fanediting wizardry, for sure). Ahsoka succeeds and we show her rushing back inside just as Shin is coming up on them and maybe even fires a couple shots.

4. Most of these are suggested cuts to shave precious seconds off of the final runtime, but I would actually like to suggest you re-integrate Jacen’s initial introduction. Sure, we never get an explanation as to why Hera is recklessly bringing her young child into a dangerous situation (is it take your child to work day?), but at least it won’t be doubly jarring because it’s also the first time we see him. I also think that since he plays a pivotal role in saving Ahsoka’s life, and in doing so reveals that he is force sensitive, we can spend a little more time introducing him. I also have a feeling Jacen will be important to the franchise going forward, and I wouldn’t even be surprised if Ahsoka or Luke trains him. However, please remove his, “Mom, I’ve got a bad feeling…” line. What?! It’s ‘I’ve got a bad feeling about THIS’. Geezus, Disney, can’t you get anything right?

5. Perhaps you could cut Sabine’s line to Thrawn: “I’d rather not waste anymore time, what kind of ride do you have around here.” I mean, he is making a valid point about Sabine gambling the fate of the galaxy on her belief that Ezra is still alive. I just think it gives his line more weight if we linger on it instead of ending with Sabine’s smug (and somewhat annoying) response. He’s right, after all, yet Sabine is never seriously confronted about it by anyone else, nor held to account. At least by leaving her dumbstruck, we can imply that she was deeply shaken by his words, which might even serve to suggest why her later reunion with Ezra is so awkward, or why she was reluctant to be honest with him about how she got there. In other words, I think Sabine should increasingly feel the gravity of her reckless choices as the film progresses.

6. The line where Huyang and Ahsoka are entering the Purgil and Ahsoka reveals that she has no idea where they’re going just comes off as incredibly irresponsible. I suppose we’re supposed to believe Ahsoka is simply trusting in the Force. I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t come off as intended. “Well, it’s better than going nowhere.”—Ahsoka’s increasingly zenlike attitude doesn’t just cut through the tension of the third act, it blows it to smithereens. It’s annoying and only ramps up as we near the film’s conclusion. I mean, if Ahsoka’s half-asleep for the second half of the movie, why shouldn’t the viewer be, too? It’s also pretty obvious already where the Purgil are going, making the exchange between the two pointless. Ahsoka needs to lay off the Ambien.

7. Remove the Anakin hologram training session. It doesn’t add anything valuable to the story and is just so mundane. Also, her vision of Anakin in the World between Worlds was pretty special, and I think the hologram recording of Anakin only serves to diminish that moment. One appearance by Hayden Christensen is enough, especially given how great his performance was.

8. Ezra and Sabine’s reunion is so muted and dispassionate that I suggest you cut away at the moment they embrace, intercut some other scene, and then cut back the moment they end their hug. At least then the viewer can IMAGINE a more heartfelt reunion. Disney may be doubling down on the brother/sister dynamic, but even siblings wouldn’t be this lacking in genuine affection given the circumstances. I don’t know how this works in practical terms, but it’s an idea to play around with at least. I also think their banter before the hug heavily detracts from the moment, but removing that might prove too challenging.

9. The scene where Sabine and Ezra are just leisurely riding along also breaks the tension that should be steadily building at this point. -For crying out loud, Sabine even has her feet up!- I’d at least trim the first part where Ezra is recapping everything he missed, and Sabine is needlessly foreshadowing Palpatine’s return in TRoS. This bit of dialogue slows down the pace and doesn’t give the viewer any new or relevant information. Again, either the viewer’s familiar with basic SW lore, or they aren’t. This brief exchange isn’t going to bring them up to speed. Instead, I’d start the scene with Sabine’s line, “I was beginning to think I’d never find you,” because at least that’s relevant to the plot.

10. I’ve already asked for this, but please take out Ahsoka’s giggle when she reunites with Ezra. These moments where Ahsoka is seemingly high out of her mind don’t make for an immersive, engaging viewing experience. I get that Ahsoka is now “Ahsoka the White” since her transformation, but her carefree attitude completely undercuts the tension of the rest of the film, and I would argue it is one of the series’ most significant problems. She should still be stoic like a Jedi on the outside, even if she’s feeling more optimistic on the inside. Nuance is your friend.

11. Trim Morgan’s drawn out initiation scene. Who cares? She’s dead five minutes later anyway. It’s overlong and self-indulgent.

12. Tighten up significantly Ezra rebuilding his lightsaber. It’s only important to establish that Ezra is assembling a new lightsaber to maintain continuity with later scenes. The excessive reminiscing once again cuts through the tension and isn’t appropriate this near to the film’s climax. The scene is also meant as a segue into the following scene, i.e., the resolution between Sabine and Ahsoka. However, I would like to propose something radically different here…

13. Here me out. Have Huyang explain to Ezra Ahsoka’s reservations about Sabine, but just leave it at that (and maybe cut Sabine out of the scene altogether if possible). Then shave a couple of minutes off your edit by removing altogether the following scene where Sabine and Ahsoka make amends. Please, give this one some thought. For one thing, it is yet to be demonstrated that Sabine’s gamble paid off, so Ahsoka has no reason to say that it has. (The show wants to tell us that Sabine did the right thing, or at least NOT the wrong thing, but none of it rings true, because actions have consequences, good or bad, and Sabine is being treated with kid gloves by the show and protected from those consequences.) Furthermore, Ahsoka’s master/apprentice relationship to Anakin is not at all comparable to her relationship with Sabine. In fact, Anakin’s fall to the dark side is a stark reminder of why Ahsoka should indeed have deep reservations about training Sabine. Again, nothing about this resolution rings true. Sabine is never confronted or held accountable, and given the situation they’re in, ‘sorry’ doesn’t quite cut it. Again, I suggest you cut the entire scene and leave matters between them unresolved. I believe it’s far more interesting if that subtle distrust between them persists by the end of the film, especially since they are marooned together on a strange planet for an indefinite amount of time. A less hopeful and harmonious ending for this film would actually be a welcome improvement.

14. I was bugging you earlier about the sounds the zombie troopers make when they reanimate. However, I later realized that the zombie troopers scene isn’t even necessary and can be cut entirely. The revelation that they can reanimate has no significant bearing on the rest of the film as they don’t pose a significant threat in the first place. It’s also beyond preposterous and blatantly derivative of zombie horror flicks, which simply isn’t appropriate for Star Wars, imo.

15. I had argued earlier that you should reintegrate Sabine’s Force push, but now I believe cutting it was the right thing to do. Your alternative is the best of all possible scenarios. It may need more finessing, but I think you have the right idea. I can accept that, earlier, Sabine was able to pull the lightsaber towards herself, because I like the idea of her being a Mandalorian who can sort of wield the Force…but a Jedi she ain’t. (That’s what the series had implied earlier anyway.) I.e., anyone can tap into the Force to some extent, but still, not everyone is fit to be a Jedi. That said, the Force push really strained credulity and felt completely unearned. I’d only add that maybe you could make it less comedic and more badass by removing Ezra’s initial yelp when Sabine propels him forward.

16. Lastly, I would cut Anakin’s Force Ghost appearance at the end of the film. It may be foreshadowing his role in Ahsoka Season 2, but does it really matter? It smacks of pure fan service anyway, and like the training hologram, including it only makes his World between Worlds appearance feel less special. Furthermore, his presence in that moment is reassuring and hopeful, but the conclusion of this film should be hit harder if it was more somber and uncertain. Anakin’s presence only detracts from the reality of their hopeless situation.

Instead of Ahsoka telling Sabine not to worry and that everything will be okay, she should be silent, and her silence should be deafening. After all, everything is NOT actually okay, and even Ahsoka the White is apprehensive about the implications of being stranded on an unfamiliar planet while Thrawn executes his master plan. I’d also remove the part where Ahsoka says she knows Ezra is okay. Faith and hope are only inspiring to the viewer in the face of uncertainty and despair, but Ahsoka is so unfazed by everything that she isn’t even being challenged, making her inaccessible to the viewer. It’s nice that she’s having such a sublime, transcendent experience, but please, bring her back down to earth!

In conclusion, I think this edit needs a greater sense of rising action and heightened stakes. At the same time, the mood needs to descend lower, sinking ever deeper into despair. The good guys lost, after all. They should feel the sting of that loss. The film needs to be shorter, but it also needs to deliver a greater sense of urgency. Ashoka needs to not be so disconnected from the events taking place around her, and Sabine needs to feel the weight of her recklessness—and be afraid. These are strange, uncertain circumstances, after all.

Thanks again for all your wonderful edits, Smudger. I think, given enough tlc, your Ashoka edit will someday shine as brightly as your Mando edits!

What a fantastic Review! I agree with all of your mentioned points and I hope Smudger will take your suggestions into account when he releases a new version of his edit! ^^

Could I get the link for this? Thanks

Can I get a link for this? Thanks

Can i get a link to new republic movie series?

Hi, can I get the link? Thank you

Is the fight between Ahsoka & Morgan on Corvex in any of your edits?

Thanks

Can i get the link, please? 😃