If you’re to use visions during the helmet scene, I would go for visions of Luke, Ben, Leia and Rey showing Ben compassion, it demonstrates that deep down all he wants is to be loved, setting up his convo with Han.
As for the Deathstar scene I think the establishing shots are fine, the shots are a little stuttery though but as you said it’s a rough mockup. I would however shy away from using anything from the Vader Fan-film as it brakes the flow and tone of the scene, I’d cut from the inner establishing shots to Ben standing on the edge right before the Han convo.
I really love those ideas for the vision. I think the tough part is that it’s set up just a few minutes before this (at Crait) that Luke would haunt him. So I do feel like there needs to be some of that in there. That being said, though, I do like the idea of adding those moments of kindness. I’ll see what I can muster up.
I hear you on FOD. If it’s not working, then it’s the first thing to go. I have tried the transition from inner establishing shots to Ben on the edge, but it felt pretty abrupt. I’ll give it another look though.