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The Go-Mer-Tonic™ Thread - Today's Topic: Whose your favorite author and why?

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Alright, this is a new entertaining thread I just thought up. Pretty much what this is going to be is Gomer is going to post nonsense thoughts and ideas in here. We can argue with him or whatever because sometimes circular poinless threads can be really entertianing (to a point) as the Global Warming thread has proven.

So Gomer, as soon as you read this, you can go ahead and get started hosting your very own new thread. Remember, nothing is too outlandish for the Gor-Mer-Tonic Thread. Defend Hitler's right to rule the world, talk about how very foxy you think Hilary Clinton is, how very intelligent actor and actresses are in general and what a shame it is that more of them do not get involved in politics. You name it man.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Holy shit!!

Go-Mer-Tonic has had a thread named after him!

Go-Mer-Tonic is...

COOL?!!!
Don't you call me a mindless philosopher...!
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No, no, no. You are mistaken the purpose of this thread. It has nothing to do with him being cool and everything to do with him being a controversial figure.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Um... no.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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No, your not a controversial enough figure. There is no need for you to have your own thread. Also if we can keep Go-Mer busy with this thread, it will keep him from mucking up every single thread in the General SW discussion. In theory anyway.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Originally posted by: C3PX
... if we can keep Go-Mer busy with this thread, it will keep him from mucking up every single thread in the General SW discussion.
Oh, nice one C3PX! You've blown that plan!

Back to the drawing board, folks...
Don't you call me a mindless philosopher...!
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Go-Mer doesn't even read other people's posts. I have blown nothing. I wish he would read this one though. I really think this would be fun.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Who would win in a war of words: Go-mer Tonic or Gomer Pyles?

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Who would win in a war of words? Gomer Pyle or this Gomer Pyles guy you seem to know, Chaltab.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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I think Gomer is a dick with no life and needs to get laid. Can we debate this?

You all realize that when he sees this thread, he's going to wet his pants, knowing that he's gotten to us to the point where we're starting threads about him like this.

I personally think an "official and recognized" effort should be made to get him permanently banned from this board. He's trolling and uses politeness and self-humility to hide it. Of course, his age old excuse is that he's "just looking to hear opinions." There is such a thing as fucking with people without looking like you're fucking with people. This is exactly what Gomer does. It's proven cuz he doesn't post in any other threads except those that are "hot" debates. He never complains about personal attacks to a mod (at least not to any of our knowledge, I'm sure we would have heard about that if it did happen) and always keeps the discussion going in circles by making snide little comments meant to stir the pot.

I don't care if he makes this board more exciting or whatever. I'd rather not have him here cuz it's going to result in something bad eventually. It has nothing to do with his dissenting views. He's dissenting just to fuck with people. I mean, come on....you can TELL he's fucking with people. If anyone can't see it, they're stoned or something.
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"I think Gomer is a dick with no life and needs to get laid. Can we debate this?"

Sure you can! Good luck finding somebody to argue against you on this one though.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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Originally posted by: Gaffer Tape
Who would win in a war of words? Gomer Pyle or this Gomer Pyles guy you seem to know, Chaltab.


Whichever one appeared on that old sitcom.

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Not...Going....to...die..........

'Not on my watch!'
-With an arrogant Tom Cruise smile-
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In Gomer's absense, we can all take turns hosting. For today, January the 13th, I shall host. Somebody else can have it tomorrow. Hmmm, what should our topic of discussion be...

Ah, let's talk about gun control. You know there is really no reason for ANYBODY to own a gun. If you look at it logically it all makes perfect sense. I will demonstrate with a simple equation:

Killing/Murder is illegal + guns are ONLY made to kill/murder people = guns should be illegal.

See, put this way it is unarguable, guns should have never been invented in the first place. If they hadn't we wouldn't have murders. And we would all live in harmony.

Well, that's all I have. Until tomorrow, when somebody else hosts this has been the Go-Mer-Tonic™ Thread.



Disclaimer: The above statement or question does not reflect my own personal opinion. This comment also does not reflect the opinion of Go-Mer-Tonic™. The above was a random controversial topic posted for entertainment purposes only.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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I would like to host today's discussion....the death penalty.

Naturally, Gomer feels that this is wrong. We should take the moral high ground and demonstrate to people who commit heinous crimes...such as killing multiple people and eating their remains or killing a pregnant woman and then cutting her baby out of her womb...that killing them is not the answer to their crimes of killing others. As Gomer has said before..."Two wrongs do not make a right."

We should just let people like this, who are worthless pieces of shit, live and continue to support them with our tax dollars so they can live in semi-comfort for the rest of their lives since they can't be let out for their crimes, right? We should just let Manson and others like him continue to exist and put food in their mouths and a roof over their head, right? Even though he's killed quite a few people, right?

Of course....cuz that's the Gomer way of thinking.


Well, that's all I have. Until tomorrow, when somebody else hosts this has been the Go-Mer-Tonic™ Thread.



Disclaimer: The above statement or question does not reflect my own personal opinion. This comment also does not reflect the opinion of Go-Mer-Tonic™. The above was a random controversial topic posted for entertainment purposes only.
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While I certainly don't feel Marylin Manson deserves the death penalty, I am not even sure he belongs in prison. As far as I know, the only thing he is guilty of is making music that makes my ears bleed, even when played at moderate volumes.

Okay, seriously, with the death penalty thing, it is something a lot of people have a hard time with. It is good it is reserved for extreme cases, and I think some people do get off too easy. Many of those same people who oppose the death penalty also are opposed to rough living conditions for prisoners. If it ends up that person living, while not in ideal conditions but much better conditions than a good percentage of the worlds population, then what is the point, and the families of his victims supporting him with their tax dollars. Then there is something wrong. I don't know what the current statistics on the recidivism rate is in the US currently, but it is usually shockingly high. A big part of this is, I believe, because criminals find prison comfortable and preferable to facing the real world. After their times are served, it doesn't take long for them to decide they need to return. If the purpose of prison is punishment, then this should not be the case, they ought to run toward freedom and never consider doing so much as parking in a handicap spot ever again. However, if the purpose of prison is merely a holding pen to separate criminals from the rest of society, then this is probably about right. I don't know much about prisons, but I know there are some worse than others. I think if we turn away from the death penalty, it should be in favor of a pretty rough life for the criminals. I am not talking spiked coffins, hot coals, or mutilations of any sort. But I think they should have to endure hard labor (nothing inhumane) that is productive enough to bring in some kind of revenue, which ought to be used toward supporting their stay in prison. Any income they bring that may be left over should be given to the families of the victims. Instead of using foreign labor to produce our goods, why not use the labor of death penalty level prisoners. Just a thought.

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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You forgot those damn outfits that Manson wears. If anyone should be put to death, it's him for wearing that fucked up shit......

I think prisons are far too comfortable for convicts. It should be a rough place to be. I think it should be a combination boot camp/work farm. Put a bunch of Sgt. Hartmans (see Full Metal Jacket) in charge and let them fucking wail on these prisoners. Make their lives so damn uncomfortable that they are crying like babies to get out. I guarantee that if we made prison as unpleasant both physically and mentally for these people, all but 10% or so would shape up and never come back. The ones that do....they go to the special prison where they just stay in a cage until they die. The people who do the really heinous shit get the death penalty, get one appeal and then get nuked after that appeal is denied. No waiting years on death row. You're convicted...a week later you get your appeal....a week later you're dead and buried. Fuck ya anyway. Worthless piece of shit. You want crime to stop....start making prison as unpleasant as humanly possible.
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" I think it should be a combination boot camp/work farm. "

Yeah, I really think that would really cut down the recidivism rate drastically.

EDIT: Wait a minute, Cable, if you are going to host you're suppose to play devils advocate. If you just agree with every body then there is no conflict! Without conflict this thread is destined to failure!

"Every time Warb sighs, an angel falls into a vat of mapel syrup." - Gaffer Tape

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I rarely speak of this, but I will because I feel I understand this issue a little better than others.

Having served for ten years within the justice system, first as a jailer in county jail here in Texas, now as a Police Officer of 6 years, I feel I have a first person perspective of just how screwed up the justice system is just how dangerous people like Gomer really are.

There is rarely no such thing as "rehabilitation". Serial killers and child molesters will NEVER change, nor will they stop what they want to do by any means. If you will, think of their desires like so. We all have something that really gets us going, I love hot curvy chicks in fancy corsets. I cannot explain why I love this, but I do and no amount of imprisonment, psychotherapists, or money will change that deep rooted fantasies of mine. I'm sure many of you have a similar type of desire. Imagine that whatever desire you have is outlawed and illegal, you still could not stop those desires. I'm not implying that anyone should give empathy to those are sexually attracted to children or get off on ripping the guts out of hookers, but this will allow you to understand them to a point. Now that you "understand" their desires you realize there is no possible way of changing it and paying for them to live the rest of their lives in a cell with three meals a day and several officers keeping an eye on them is not the best course of action. The best course of action is to simply put them to death. They will never contribute to our society, they will never stop wanting what they want, they will kill or molest again if they ever escape or are freed.

The laws are designed to protect the innocent, but unfortunately the guilty too. I've arrested too many people who were guilty without any a doubt, but they walked away scott free because of some stupid technicality or small error or even political favors. Usually they are re-arrested again with the same outcome only days or weeks later. The basis is that the recidivism rate is only the tip of the iceberg. That does not count the times someone has been arrested and then let go because of some stupid legal loophole or weak minded judge. Maybe I sound like a grizzled, cynical, hardned cop, but let me tell you this country is heading straight for the crapper if this stuff isn't fixed. Most of you would be truly amazed how much stuff goes on just outside the door of your house and it seems almost nothing can be done. It truly sadens me everytime I go to that call about an 8 year old girl whose been molested for the last 3 years by her own father and know that if I so much as spell one word in the report, the defense attorney will ride me into the ground for hours on end.

You hit the nail on the head Cable, unlimited appeals are heavily burdening and taxing the system to a point where the system will crumble eventually from the stress of it.

I could go on and on and on, but I'll end my rant for now.

Whew, hope I didn't ruin ya'lls day with this rant. Sorry, I just have to let it out occasionally.
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Damn, you're right!!!

Crank post!!! Crank post!!!

Screw the death penalty and the harsh prisons. When someone gets sent to jail, we need to be caring and understanding. All these murders, rapists and child molesters really need is a BIG hug. That will cure everything.

In fact....the victims should be apologizing for the crime. The criminal obviously couldn't help themselves and the victim is the blame. If the victim wasn't there, tempting the criminal unknowingly, then nothing would have happened.

There...I think that's about right now.
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I have to say this thread is facinating.

What's great about me is I tend to take the opposing side.

What's great about this thread, is I get to see how you guys see the other side of your arguments.

I like it.

So much anger, so much self riteousness.

Such intricate displays of the human condition as it exists today.
Your focus determines your reality.