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The Force Awakens: The Starlight Project - WORKPRINT RELEASED — Page 38

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I like the attempt at the subtitles! I think the direction you’re taking is definitely a clever way to try to improve or support what is already there in the film. I do wonder if the audience would be confused by the Stormtrooper calling him a janitor, since it isn’t really touched on again until the third act. The way I understand it, Finn was a First Order/Stormtrooper ensign who was assigned to maintenance duty until he was promoted by Kylo Ren for whatever reason. Before the First Order was in any kind of conflict, I imagine a lot of their child-soldiers were being used as labor, so the logic makes sense to me. I just wonder, to a first-time viewer, if these additions would be more confusing than clarifying, you know? Like, is there enough context yet that connects all these little details? Because you’re still left wondering why Ren promoted him.

I wonder if Kylo’s line, “The one from the village, FN-2187” could be changed since in this version of events, Kylo would’ve been familiar with Finn before the village attack. You’re obviously pretty limited by available dialogue, but there might be a way you can alter this line to also help support this idea you have.

As far as the dialogue you’ve written, I think it sounds really good though. I can imagine hearing it and it fitting well.

EDIT: Maybe he could say, “Ren should have left you with the trash, like the captain wanted.” since, “let you rot in the trash” might be more ambiguous, like they wanted to kill him or something.

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Good thoughts. I agree that it’s still too confusing, and I had forgotten this little exchange:

‘How capable are your soldiers, General?’
‘I won’t have you question my methods.’
‘They’re obviously skilled at committing high treason.’

Since Kylo is placing the blame for this fully at Hux’s feet, the implication is that Kylo had no hand in selecting the soldiers for this mission. Of course he could be accusing in bad faith because of their rivalry, but it seems weird regardless.

Now I’m on the fence about this whole direction. More thought is needed, clearly.

So as for a general update, I’ve finished a few more changes throughout the film. I wasn’t totally happy with the cue for Rey noticing R2 since it felt too upbeat, so it is gone in favor of a cue from TLJ:

https://vimeo.com/373056573

Password: fanedit

The crescendo timed for Rey looking at R2 hopefully communicates a more important connection. The beginning of the Jedi Steps has also been lengthened so the rhythm works better.

Incidentally, the new cue over these visuals and the beeping sound effect feels eerily similar to another movie scene. I’ll let you guess which one, but I swear it was unintentional.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Well, at the very least you could keep the majority of those subtitles and just change “Ren” with “Hux”. You would still get the idea across that he was a janitor that was promoted to field duty recently. And Hux slapping Finn in TLJ night then seem more personal. It also makes more sense that Hux would have the authority to promote him more so than Kylo. This could at least be your option for now until you think of something else that might fit better.

I think this new music works well too! Might want to get some more input besides me. I liked how the little thump of the strings lines up with the shooting star!

Is it similar to another Star Wars movie scene or another movie entirely?

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Ok you probably don’t want to hear this but I just realized that Rey and R2 are both on screen right. One should really be on the left while the other should be on the right. I don’t suppose you have a way to extend the background to right in Rey’s shot do you? 😜

YouTubers!
Attack of the Clones | Alternate Timeline Edit
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888
My OLD Return of the Jedi thread. Be gentle.
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/ROTJ-Fan-O-Matic-3-new-clips/id/7919

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RogueLeader said:

Well, at the very least you could keep the majority of those subtitles and just change “Ren” with “Hux”. You would still get the idea across that he was a janitor that was promoted to field duty recently. And Hux slapping Finn in TLJ night then seem more personal. It also makes more sense that Hux would have the authority to promote him more so than Kylo. This could at least be your option for now until you think of something else that might fit better.

For sure.

I think this new music works well too! Might want to get some more input besides me. I liked how the little thump of the strings lines up with the shooting star!

Is it similar to another Star Wars movie scene or another movie entirely?

It just made me realize that there are some similarities in this transition/scene, even though the feeling is a bit different and far more effective than some Frankensteined fan project (Spoilers for a decades old kids movie):

https://youtu.be/yhaoJxQpRg0?t=61

SomethingStarWarsRelated said:

Ok you probably don’t want to hear this but I just realized that Rey and R2 are both on screen right. One should really be on the left while the other should be on the right. I don’t suppose you have a way to extend the background to right in Rey’s shot do you? 😜

Do you mean in the fade from Rey sleeping to R2, or when Rey is looking at R2? In either case I could probably flip the shots horizontally without it looking too weird.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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NeverarGreat said:

It just made me realize that there are some similarities in this transition/scene, even though the feeling is a bit different and far more effective than some Frankensteined fan project (Spoilers for a decades old kids movie):

I didn’t not notice this at first but now I totally see it. The transition and the beeping sound are pretty similar! (and both involving a “dormant” droid). You must have this movie pretty ingrained in your memory to recall that similarity!

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Random thought: would the Kylo Searches the Falcon scene raise a potential plot hole (maybe this is the wrong word) where Kylo could’ve just hidden a tracking device on the Falcon and then be able to follow Rey to Ach-To, and then her and the rest of the Resistance when they escape Crait?

Maybe he didn’t have enough time to consider it in the scene, since he only stayed on it momentarily before moving on to the next thing. If those Snowtroopers stayed there guarding it and Chewbacca came back and killed them, maybe he made sure to check the ship for trackers after they got back to D’Qar (maybe them returning is how “the Resistance is exposed” in this version of events). I know I’m overthinking it but I figured it was worth thinking through.

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SomethingStarWarsRelated said:

Rey looking at R2. I think if you flip the shot of Rey the eyelines won’t work, right?

The eyelines actually work decently well, but I’ve found that the lighting is at issue. Most of the light seems to be coming from the large open space to the right when facing R2, and if I flip the shots of Rey the light is instead coming from her left. I think it will have to remain as it is.

RogueLeader said:

Random thought: would the Kylo Searches the Falcon scene raise a potential plot hole (maybe this is the wrong word) where Kylo could’ve just hidden a tracking device on the Falcon and then be able to follow Rey to Ach-To, and then her and the rest of the Resistance when they escape Crait?

Maybe he didn’t have enough time to consider it in the scene, since he only stayed on it momentarily before moving on to the next thing. If those Snowtroopers stayed there guarding it and Chewbacca came back and killed them, maybe he made sure to check the ship for trackers after they got back to D’Qar (maybe them returning is how “the Resistance is exposed” in this version of events). I know I’m overthinking it but I figured it was worth thinking through.

Funny you should bring that up. I’ve actually considered that angle, and having some brief cutaway to the interior of the Falcon after it lands showing a new tracking device. But of course it would have to somehow be deactivated before Rey leaves for Luke’s island but not be detected since that would raise the issue of why the Resistance doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave. It would have to be something like the tracker shorting out after the Falcon lands on the base, but that is really convenient. I think it’s best to consider that Kylo assumed that Han and the gang wouldn’t be escaping and/or the Falcon was too badly damaged in the crash to fly.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Are you still planning on releasing this around December with TROS.

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I’m still holding out for a few dialogue replacements, but if those aren’t done soon I’ll go ahead and render a workprint version without them before TROS.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

I know you’ll be releasing the movie in December around the time of The Rise of Skywalker, but do you think you could get a workprint ready before releasing the full edit?

Adywan’s Star Wars Revisited edits are to Blade Runner: The Final Cut as the original theatrical releases of the original trilogy are to the original version of Blade Runner.

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FreezingTNT2 said:

I know you’ll be releasing the movie in December around the time of The Rise of Skywalker, but do you think you could get a workprint ready before releasing the full edit?

NeverarGreat said:

I’m still holding out for a few dialogue replacements, but if those aren’t done soon I’ll go ahead and render a workprint version without them before TROS.

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An idea I’ve been kicking around for a while:

https://vimeo.com/375840701
Password: fanedit

It would require some work to clean up and extend the troopers walking and give some life to the desert insert shots, but it might be enough for such a brief scene. The dialogue is an intentional reference to ANH that hopefully foreshadows by the singleminded error of the troopers that Poe’s fate remains unresolved.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

This is cool! I wonder if the first desert insert could be a shot of Finn’s parachute, and the second desert shot could be the shot of the desert where Finn runs toward the smoke, but without the smoke, and added footprints in the sand?

EDIT: Since Poe’s return felt a little out of left field to some, couldn’t you use this additional scene to also hint at Poe’s survival? I understand why you have the lines the way you currently do though.

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Those shots make sense, and would be simpler than creating something from scratch.

As for Poe, I wouldn’t want the scene to heavily imply that he survived since the audience may then fixate on his return to the exclusion of the other characters. The goal with the current dialogue was to establish that the Troopers had written off Poe’s fate too quickly in favor of following Finn, but maybe there’s a better way to hint at Poe’s survival without making it too obvious.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

Yeah, you wouldn’t want to emphasize Poe potentially surviving too much.

When Finn and Poe reunite, he says, “I got thrown from the crash, I woke up at night, not you, no ship, nothing!”

So does that mean Poe didn’t wake up until several hours later after the ship had already sank into the sand? Or could he just not see the smoke at night and wandered off?

Though if the First Order became one-track minded when they found Finn’s track and forgot about Poe, it actually might help explain how he survived and didn’t get recaptured. You just wonder how the didn’t find Poe’s parachute either.

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My best guess as to what was intended is this:

Finn ejected from the TIE before impact and landed some distance away from the craft. Poe wasn’t able to eject, hence why he said he was ‘thrown from the crash’. The window of the TIE was smashed, so I’m guessing he was thrown through the window some distance and was buried in the spongy sand. The squad did a cursory search and failed to find him, and instead focused on Finn. Then later that night after Finn and Rey escaped Jakku, Poe awoke and got transport off planet.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

Do you plan on removing any reference or mention of Han being a smuggler again in The Force Awakens? It goes against all of his character development in the original trilogy.

Adywan’s Star Wars Revisited edits are to Blade Runner: The Final Cut as the original theatrical releases of the original trilogy are to the original version of Blade Runner.

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FreezingTNT2 said:

Do you plan on removing any reference or mention of Han being a smuggler again in The Force Awakens? It goes against all of his character development in the original trilogy.

Do you plan on making an edit yourself so you can stop spamming other people’s edit threads with random requests for editors to make extremely specific changes just for you? Or maybe just keeping these “suggestions” to the general “ideas” threads?

a trolling bantha

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FreezingTNT2 said:

DELETED COMMENT

Stop deleting comments - thank you.

I also strongly suggest you consider Ash’s post above.

originaltrilogy.com Moderator

I find that answer vague and unconvincing. Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves?
Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? And say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

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oojason said:

FreezingTNT2 said:

DELETED COMMENT

Stop deleting comments - thank you.

I only delete comments because some of them either receive negative feedback, or if it is a copy of a previous comment.

Adywan’s Star Wars Revisited edits are to Blade Runner: The Final Cut as the original theatrical releases of the original trilogy are to the original version of Blade Runner.