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The Force Awakens: The Starlight Project - WORKPRINT RELEASED — Page 37

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Hal 9000 said:

RogueLeader said:

I still think it’d be cool way to open your edit just to set it apart more, but how do you think you make it clear that it was a flashback that BB-8 was having?

A harp riff, obviously.

Lol. Or, BB-8 could beep a little with subtitles that say, “You’re probably wondering how I got here.” then the movie rewinds like an old VHS tape back to the opening scene.

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And this is why Star Wars tends to not do flashbacks.

Maybe if the pan up into the stars was extended/stylized and accompanied by some (non harp 😉) music so it was fairly clear that this wasn’t literally happening overhead at that moment, then the pan back down to BB-8 in a clearly new situation would sell it.

It’s probably the sort of idea which is heavily dependent on execution, but I wanted to gauge if the flashback angle was a bridge too far even in concept.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

NeverarGreat said:

Would it be better if I were to replace the rocks behind Luke and have him fade in totally independent of the surroundings?

I don’t mind Luke fading in, as it is a dream sequence, after all. However, I would maybe see if you could have him fade in more slowly, almost with the bright white bloom effect of the background.

I kind of like the idea of the viewer seeing this and wondering if he faded in, or if it’s just almost like he’s appearing from the fog of the background. Maybe if his fade in was slower and not so obviously an appearance. Think more of a gradual reveal — “is that a figure? a person? it is a person! omg, is that Luke?”

In its current state, it’s more like he just apparated into the frame. Having his appearance come in a little slower may make it seem more mysterious. I don’t think you have to replace the rocks necessarily.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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NeverarGreat said:

However with the new images I’ve created of BB-8 sitting outside of Rey’s house at night, a new option becomes available. Rey finds BB-8 and brings the droid home, then BB-8 facilitates the transition to the Finalizer as a flashback.

I am struggling to picture how this would work. If there’s anyone that can figure it out, it’s you. With that said, I’m afraid it’s probably going to complicate the story more than it needs to. Let’s be real, for most non-fans, understanding Star Wars is confusing enough as it is.

I’m of the opinion that, if you can keep it simple, that’s going to be the better route to go. If you want to make a mock up of the order of scenes with a flashback, I’m open to looking at it and tell you what I think. But when I watch a fanedit, I watch it with the idea that I’m going to be showing this to someone that hasn’t seen Star Wars, so I go for whatever makes the most sense.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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NeverarGreat said:

…a potential upside is that the crawl might not need to be quite as plot heavy.

I don’t mind having some plot elements mentioned in the crawl. This does take place ~30 years after Return of the Jedi, so I feel like at least a few major elements are going to need to be mentioned in it.

Speaking of which, I’d like to discuss the crawl again and some of the content of it… whenever you’re ready to have that discussion. 😃

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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If you can’t get flashback idea to work, here’s an idea for a non-flashback way to cut it.

So you’re on the wide shot of Rey’s AT-AT home, and then it dissolves into a night version of that same shot with some nighttime ambience. The ambience continues into the next shot, which can be the opening shot of the star destroyer passing in front of the moon, movie continues.

Then when you cut back to Rey, you could cut together a very quick montage of her going through her daily routine again. Shot of Rey speeding toward Niima Outpost (maybe use shot from first teaser), shot of Unkar slamming down another quarter portion, an altered shot of Rey scratching another day on her wall, her eating outside (or maybe just her sitting quietly with the helmet on). This is when she hears BB-8. No nighttime scene here, and then you cut back to wherever the First Order plot is at this point.

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The issue with that is that Rey’s purpose in the plot doesn’t become clear until after she finds BB-8, and if cut that way I fear it would feel like a non sequitur between the exposition heavy crawl and the village attack. However if Rey finds the droid at the end of her scenes the first day, her part flows naturally into the larger story.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

Yeah, that is a good point! So you would have BB-8 sitting outside Rey’s home, then you would pan up to the stars, maybe some kind of dissolve or something to the opening shot with the moon, star destroyer passes over, transports fly out and BB-8 sees them?

EDIT: What if Rey could somehow see the Star Destroyer looming over the moon while she was sitting outside at night? It could be like how in the early cuts of ANH, Luke entered the story when he saw the battle from space, before the audience really knew his place in the story. Though I guess that was cut for a reason.

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Personally I wouldn’t go the flashback route, as interesting of a concept as it is.

Also, I didn’t get to comment on your earlier clip with the Luke/Dream sequence. Wow! I like the direction on this. I was just imagining what kind of pain you are going to go through painting Rey out on some of those scenes. Perfect music transitions by the way.

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Can I add a request? This is minor and silly, but hear me out.

In the final trailer that was released for The Force Awakens, it included a shot of an X-Wing shooting a TIE Fighter during the Takodana battle. The same shot is in the final version of the film, albeit with one change: they took out the sound effect of the X-Wing shooting the TIE Fighter (or they lowered the volume of its laser cannons so much that you can barely hear them).

I’m wondering if you would consider putting it back in.

Listen to the difference (I’ve cued up the exact moment I’m talking about):

It’s not a big deal, but I just think the X-Wing’s laser cannons sounded so cool in that trailer and when it was removed from the final version of the film, I was a little disappointed.

Definitely like the lowest thing on your priority list but I figured I’d ask.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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 (Edited)

Hmm, it’s been a while since the last update. I wish I had more to report, but not much has gotten done on the edit recently save some minor tweaks and sound fixes. The final act of the film is shaping up nicely, which is good because it’s the most involved. There is still a lot of work left to do in Acts 1 and 2, but most of those edits are non-essential.

ziggyonice said:

NeverarGreat said:

…a potential upside is that the crawl might not need to be quite as plot heavy.

I don’t mind having some plot elements mentioned in the crawl. This does take place ~30 years after Return of the Jedi, so I feel like at least a few major elements are going to need to be mentioned in it.

Speaking of which, I’d like to discuss the crawl again and some of the content of it… whenever you’re ready to have that discussion. 😃

You can of course discuss anything at any time, I’m all ears 😉

Speaking of the crawl, I had a somewhat weird idea for a more substantial change to the galactic table setting, so it would be something to do after v1 is released (if at all):

Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, a sinister new power has routed the New Republic.

Using a weapon of devastating power, the IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER has destroyed the Republic’s capital world of Hosnia, scattering their mighty fleet and sending the surviving senators into hiding.

As a last act of defiance, the remaining senators have mobilized a covert Resistance to find the missing Jedi and repel the shadow now spreading across the stars…

Having the remaining senators in hiding with a portion of the fleet makes sense of why they are such a small part of the story - they have been beaten before the story begins, and this establishes the threat of the weapon right from the beginning as well.

Poe’s full line ‘He’s familiar with the weapon that destroyed the Hosnian system.’ would be reinstated here, so the planet where the senators are hiding is never named on screen.

The tricky change would be to communicate that the First Order has discovered which world is harboring the Senators. Hux’s first speech to Snoke about the Republic would be cut, and some of it repurposed in the second Snoke scene.

‘…they may have the map already.’
‘GENERAL! Our strategy must must now change. The Resistance must be stopped before they reach Skywalker.’
‘We shall destroy the government that supports the Resistance.’
Snoke looks at Hux.
‘We have their location. We tracked their ship to the Republic. Without their friends to protect them the Resistance will be vulnerable, and we will stop them before they reach Skywalker.’
‘Then we will crush them once and for all. Prepare the weapon.’

This would imply that Kor Sella has inadvertently and unknowingly started a ticking clock for the Republic. Since I’m planning on re-dubbing the line from the Resistance briefing as well, it could be changed to this:

Leia: ‘The First Order. They’re charging the weapon again.’
Off-screen officer: ‘Do we know the target?’
Leia: ‘No.’
C-3PO: ‘Oh my, this is a catastrophe!’

This would also fix the weird issue from Restructured where Leia doesn’t warn the Republic of the impending Starkiller attack, since in this case the most reasonable explanation for the activation is for the First Order to target a random system in order to force the Resistance to respond and divert resources away from finding Luke. Also, the fact that she doesn’t know the First Order’s plan until the Republic is destroyed really turns the knife by giving her some direct responsibility for this horror.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
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The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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You might notice I typically don’t chime in when it comes to crawl discussion. I’m not much of a writer…plus I don’t have this movie memorized like I do the OT and the PT…so I can’t say with great confidence what will or won’t be affected by crawl changes.

That being said, this current idea for the crawl and your logic seems to make sense! I like it! 😛

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Attack of the Clones | Alternate Timeline Edit
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/SSWRs-Attack-of-the-Clones-Alternate-Timeline-Edit/id/66888
My OLD Return of the Jedi thread. Be gentle.
https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/ROTJ-Fan-O-Matic-3-new-clips/id/7919

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NeverarGreat said:

You can of course discuss anything at any time, I’m all ears 😉

Okay, I’m going to talk about the crawl!

I consider myself to be a semi-purist, and I don’t like changing canon too much. Moving the order of events around and providing some additional context for what has happened is great, but major alterations bug me a bit. So with regards to the crawl, I’d like to keep its contents true while shedding light on three main points:

  1. Luke is missing
  2. The First Order is a threat
  3. The Resistance is defending the Republic

Your existing crawl has some great verbiage and does explain some of this, though it needs to be just a little less wordy and a little more in line with canon. So I’d like to propose another version, which takes some of your ideas (which are fantastic, by the way) and merge them with some of mine. This is what I came up with:

https://vimeo.com/370007727
Password: fanedit

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In the years since his absence,
the fledgling New Republic has
been threatened by the sinister
IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER,
risen by remnants of the Empire.

Lead by a mysterious shadow,
this faction of evil grows quickly,
annihilating all in its
path until Skywalker, the last
Jedi, has been destroyed.

Determined to defend the
vulnerable Republic, a small
RESISTANCE is desperate to
find Luke and enlist his help in
defeating this new darkness
spreading across the stars . . . .

This crawl addresses the three points made above, and also sheds a little light on some of the unanswered questions about the political state of the galaxy without being overbearing. It explains that the First Order comes from remains of the Empire and is lead by “a mysterious shadow,” which might give some credence to their quick rise to power and military clout. Finally, I want it to be clear that the Resistance is not lead by the Republic, but still vows to defend then — with Luke as a key player in their strategy. Hence why, “This will begin to make things right.”

It also uses some of your great expressions (“spreading across the stars” is awesome) and many of the word choices, albeit in a few other locations in the text, where terms like “sinister” and “shadow” are great too.

Let me know what you think.

NeverarGreat said:

Speaking of the crawl, I had a somewhat weird idea for a more substantial change to the galactic table setting, so it would be something to do after v1 is released (if at all):

I have to think a bit more about this.

This change is certainly interesting and does make me curious how it would look if executed correctly. Of course, I’d have to loosen up about my desire to keep things canon here! 😜 But you’re right, it does fix the issue of Leia not warning the Republic of the impending Starkiller attack. However, there may be another way to resolve that, although I had never even thought about that until you just mentioned it. Wondering if a line could simply be thrown in about Hosnian Prime preparing to evacuate or something. I’ll think on this some more.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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The fact that the First Order is basically the remnants of the Empire undermines Return of the Jedi, because it means that they were never defeated at all.

Adywan’s Star Wars Revisited edits are to Blade Runner: The Final Cut as the original theatrical releases of the original trilogy are to the original version of Blade Runner.

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Apply new color grading to the entire film in general, and a bright, washed-out ‘purgatory’ look for Jakku in particular.

Any progress on the purgatory look? Sounds interesting.

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FreezingTNT2 said:

J.J. Abrams originally wanted to put Jar Jar’s skeleton in a scene, but it didn’t end up happening in the final cut. Do you plan on putting it back in?

This seems unnecessary and a little petty. Not sure what value this change would bring to the film other than being an easter egg requiring a lot of work to render.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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ziggyonice said:

NeverarGreat said:

You can of course discuss anything at any time, I’m all ears 😉

Okay, I’m going to talk about the crawl!

I consider myself to be a semi-purist, and I don’t like changing canon too much. Moving the order of events around and providing some additional context for what has happened is great, but major alterations bug me a bit. So with regards to the crawl, I’d like to keep its contents true while shedding light on three main points:

  1. Luke is missing
  2. The First Order is a threat
  3. The Resistance is defending the Republic

Your existing crawl has some great verbiage and does explain some of this, though it needs to be just a little less wordy and a little more in line with canon. So I’d like to propose another version, which takes some of your ideas (which are fantastic, by the way) and merge them with some of mine. This is what I came up with:

https://vimeo.com/370007727
Password: fanedit

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In the years since his absence,
the fledgling New Republic has
been threatened by the sinister
IMPERIAL FIRST ORDER,
risen by remnants of the Empire.

Lead by a mysterious shadow,
this faction of evil grows quickly,
annihilating all in its
path until Skywalker, the last
Jedi, has been destroyed.

Determined to defend the
vulnerable Republic, a small
RESISTANCE is desperate to
find Luke and enlist his help in
defeating this new darkness
spreading across the stars . . . .

This crawl addresses the three points made above, and also sheds a little light on some of the unanswered questions about the political state of the galaxy without being overbearing. It explains that the First Order comes from remains of the Empire and is lead by “a mysterious shadow,” which might give some credence to their quick rise to power and military clout. Finally, I want it to be clear that the Resistance is not lead by the Republic, but still vows to defend then — with Luke as a key player in their strategy. Hence why, “This will begin to make things right.”

It also uses some of your great expressions (“spreading across the stars” is awesome) and many of the word choices, albeit in a few other locations in the text, where terms like “sinister” and “shadow” are great too.

Let me know what you think.

NeverarGreat said:

Speaking of the crawl, I had a somewhat weird idea for a more substantial change to the galactic table setting, so it would be something to do after v1 is released (if at all):

I have to think a bit more about this.

This change is certainly interesting and does make me curious how it would look if executed correctly. Of course, I’d have to loosen up about my desire to keep things canon here! 😜 But you’re right, it does fix the issue of Leia not warning the Republic of the impending Starkiller attack. However, there may be another way to resolve that, although I had never even thought about that until you just mentioned it. Wondering if a line could simply be thrown in about Hosnian Prime preparing to evacuate or something. I’ll think on this some more.

Sorry about the delayed response.

There is a lot to like here, and your mockup crawl is technically very nice! I agree that there needs to be more about the table setting, but I’ve come to the grudging acceptance that it’s not possible to put it in without making the crawl too wordy and clunky. I’m also constrained by the timing I’ve chosen for this crawl which means the paragraphs need a 4/9/7 line composition. This is why the first two paragraphs in particular are tricky - the first is too short to include much info and the second risks being too wordy off the bat. That’s just the nature of making room for the Episode number and title with the original film music timing.

I’ll continue to think about the crawl, taking your suggestions into consideration. 😃

idir_hh said:

Apply new color grading to the entire film in general, and a bright, washed-out ‘purgatory’ look for Jakku in particular.

Any progress on the purgatory look? Sounds interesting.

That’s actually completed to my satisfaction, and hasn’t substantially changed since this update on page 26:

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/The-Force-Awakens-The-Starlight-Project/id/54912/page/26

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

NeverarGreat said:
That’s actually completed to my satisfaction, and hasn’t substantially changed since this update on page 26:

If it’s not too much trouble would you mind showing what the falcon chase scene looks like with the new washed out colours? That’s the first scene I thought of when I heard of the new colour correction.

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Here’s what I’m thinking in terms of the future dialogue of TR-8R:

https://vimeo.com/371307482

Password: fanedit

The janitor bit helps tie in to the subsequent scenes where Finn’s knowledge of the Starkiller becomes important. I wanted to include some dialogue about the Starkiller itself, but I doubt that the Stormtroopers would have divulged any of that info on the battlefield and it was also too awkward to fit into the fight.

Additionally, Finn’s status as a janitor becomes much more of a pejorative and distinction from the other ‘real’ Stormtroopers, which goes a long way towards justifying his willingness to wantonly kill them as he escapes the Finalizer.

Finally, the line about Ren choosing Finn over the judgement of Phasma increases the competence of the rank-and-file members of the First Order since Finn’s defection is no longer on their hands, and it opens up a lot of interesting speculation with regards to the Finn/Kylo dynamic which is one of the most underbaked interactions in the ST.

Why did Ren choose Finn? Maybe the Force guided Ren to make this decision on the eve of their Jakku assault, feeling that Finn would be important in some way. This would be ironic and correct, and even makes sense if Kylo was being unduly influenced by the light side and its mysterious ways. Kylo’s dramatic look at Finn after the villager massacre and his immediate knowledge of Finn’s number heavily implies that Finn is notable to Kylo beyond his status as a stormtrooper, after all. Finally, Kylo’s scream of betrayal at Finn in the Forest has much more significance if Kylo was the one to personally pick Finn for his assignment.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
A New Hope Technicolor Recreation (Released!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)