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The Force Awakens: The Starlight Project - (WIP) WORKPRINT RELEASED — Page 40

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RogueLeader said:

I think seeing it early is nice though, since afterward you guys could go discuss the movie over lunch.

And dinner. And breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day, etc…

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Hahaha, that is definitely accurate…

I also think it would be fun if a few of us discussed our reactions to the movie together in a podcast format and share it on here for others to listen to.

I like your newest version of the dream, by the way! I liked the first version too, but I see why you changed it.

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That would be fun! Though on second thoughts I’d get too self conscious - my voice isn’t exactly radio friendly…think less Kronk and more Yzma. But y’all go on ahead 😃

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Understandable, but to be fair I think most of us hate the sound of our own voices!

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I cringe at my own commentary tracks. But I’d listen to one!

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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NeverarGreat said:

I’m seeing TROS with my girlfriend and brothers early (7:20 AM) on Saturday

Haha, alright I’m not going to post anything in this thread between Thursday and Saturday morning then!

But I’d be careful about getting spoilers from newbies that might comment here. At least until you can see it on Saturday.

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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That last dream sequence was really well done.

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ziggyonice said:

NeverarGreat said:

I’m seeing TROS with my girlfriend and brothers early (7:20 AM) on Saturday

Haha, alright I’m not going to post anything in this thread between Thursday and Saturday morning then!

But I’d be careful about getting spoilers from newbies that might comment here. At least until you can see it on Saturday.

Pretty sure forum rules prohibit spoiler talk outside of marked threads for a certain length of time.

I think it would be wise to avoid posting spoilers in this thread until Nev has seen it and changes the thread title to explicitly warn of TROS spoilers.

a trolling bantha

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idir_hh said:

I think for the average viewer it would be too long and confusing, maybe using quick flashes of the the saber’s history like Anakin screaming in the lava and younglings being killed, Luke’s temple burning ending with the island would be a more concrete illustration of why Rey fears taking up the weapon at the same time forshadowing the future.

That would be extremely jarring, especially since each trilogy has their own look and visuals.

The unfortunate reality of the Star Wars prequel and Disney trilogies is that they will always be around. Forever. They will never go away. It can never be undone.

I also prefer to be referred to as “TNT”, not “Freezing”.

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I think that could work if you had a uniform filter of some kind on all the footage.

a trolling bantha

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Hal 9000 said:

I cringe at my own commentary tracks. But I’d listen to one!

I think you have a fine voice for commentary!

So I’ve rendered a workprint and watched it looking for further mistakes, and in addition to the aforementioned timecode removal and effects that will not be completed in time, there are (checks notes) 21 issues that I’d like to address before release. Most are simple fixes such as sound levels and in one case leaving out an entire scene by accident, but if some things remain unfixed tomorrow I’ll probably just call it a day and release the workprint.

Progress!

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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 (Edited)

I’m super excited!

Once the workprint is out, you should expect to hear quite a bit of feedback. I think that enjoying it as a whole will likely give a different perspective to some of the more specific changes you’ve made over the last couple years (wow, has it been that long?!).

My suggestion is, once you have the workprint out, maybe take a few days and let folks pick it apart while you go see The Rise of Skywalker. Then when you’re ready, dig in, see what suggestions have been made, and think about whether there’s anything new that could further enhance the film. If you have a detailed changes list to accompany the workprint, it will probably help.

Finally, as an aside: Thanks for making this so much fun, Nev! I know that I only started commenting the last few months or so (yikes, it’s been almost a year since I started following this project — time flies!), but I think I speak for everyone here when I say that watching your project evolve has been a blast. I genuinely get excited each time you post a new clip.

Thanks for letting us be a part of it!

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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Looking forward to this! Be it before or after TROS.

Well done. I will disengage self-destruct initiative.

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 (Edited)

The Workprint is available now, PM me for the link all ye who so wish!

Please note that in addition to the occasionally unfinished effects there is also one instance of me accidentally deleting the central audio channel when the Stormtroopers demolish Poe’s X-wing in the first scene. This is a mistake, but luckily only lasts until the end of the scene. (This is fixed in the new upload!)

Also, although color grading has been applied to some areas of the film (Jakku, Rey’s interrogation), I haven’t yet applied a full grade to the entire film due to not being 100% pleased with the results thus far.

Finally, thank you to everyone who has made this possible and offered their criticisms and praise! Without you and the greater community of OT.com, this project would never have even gotten this far!

Enjoy!

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

Author
Time
 (Edited)

Can I have a link to the workprint? 😃

The unfortunate reality of the Star Wars prequel and Disney trilogies is that they will always be around. Forever. They will never go away. It can never be undone.

I also prefer to be referred to as “TNT”, not “Freezing”.

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Okay, just watched the workprint.

Let’s start with what goes without saying: Nev, you have created what is likely one of the most ambitious Star Wars fanedits ever made. Not only are the concepts for your vision executed with care, but they are done so in a way that is incredibly polished and blurs the line between the original and what you have improved upon. Absolutely excellent work and you should be very proud.

I am not going to comment on every change that was made, because frankly, I agreed with nearly all of them. Upon a rewatch, I may come back to this with other thoughts. However, let me call out some of the issues that need to be addressed (most of them are minor technical quirks):

  • In the crawl, is “Episode VII” centered? It looks too far off to the right above “THE FORCE AWAKENS.”

  • What’s with the speed increase at the end of the crawl? It should move as the same speed throughout.

  • When the village gets shot up by stormtroopers, Phasma says, “On my command.” Listen close, you can hear her repeat the last syllable happen a couple times (maybe due to a duplicated audio segment). I would recommend headphones for this, but it’s definitely there.

  • Why did you cut Unkar Plutt’s introductory line? “What you brought me today is, hmm, worth one quarter portion.”

  • The Poe/Kylo Ren interrogation scene looks great.

  • There is just some clipping on some of the audio (again, can be heard through headphones).

  • Maybe add some fades at the beginning/ends of those clips to prevent the clipping sounds.

  • Not seeing the point of the nighttime BB-8 scene after Poe’s interrogation. It looks pretty but doesn’t serve a purpose if its that short.

  • Just as Snoke’s first scene occurs, is there a way to have Hux say Supreme Leader Snoke’s name or something? For people new to the series, they don’t know who this giant holligam is. If Hux said it, it would help — even if just as a voiceover in the clip leading up to this one.

  • Clipped audio at Snoke scene / line: “Our strategy must change…"

  • I’ve seen edits before where they put an effect on Snoke to make him look more like a hologram.

  • Is that possible here? Since when did holagrams go HD?

  • The transition from Kylo Ren praying feels a little weird

  • Is there any shot of Kylo Ren walking down the hall of his star destoryer that could be used after he stands up from praying but before the shot of Finn preparing to leave? Like as a transition?

  • Turn down the music volume just a tad when Han says “where’d you get that” when Maz hands him the lightsaber

  • When Rey returns to Maz’s castle during the battle, you can hear Han’s voice say, “Oh no” (probably from a duplicated audio clip).

  • I feel like the music is just a tad too loud when Leia and Han are having their talk about Ben while they are inside the Resistance base.

  • Another clipped audio just before Leia says, “The First Order, they’re charging the weapon now”

  • When Rey hides from the stormtroopers while on Starkiller Base, the scene cuts to Phasma saying, “Take no chances, I won’t tolerate sloppiness,” then back to Rey, then back to Phasma. Why not just have Rey hide, then have one cut to Phasma? It feels a little choppy having to switch between the two.

  • Moving the Leia reaction scene to Han’s death… I’m debating on this one. I feel like it actually flowed better having her reaction take place after Han dies but before Chewie goes crazy. You did the opposite here (that I do see the reason to why!); however, I’m just a little unsure.

Everything looks awesome. I’ll have more comments after I can watch it again, but these are my initial notes. Thanks again for putting this all together — it’s really great!

“The Ziggy Edit” — A Conceptual Fanedit of Return of the Jedi

https://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Episode-VI-Return-of-the-Jedi-The-Ziggy-Edit/id/17844

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Thank you for the detailed notes, I hadn’t noticed even half of these issues!

ziggyonice said:

  • In the crawl, is “Episode VII” centered? It looks too far off to the right above “THE FORCE AWAKENS.”

It’s probably off center. I’ll have to fix that for the final crawl.

  • What’s with the speed increase at the end of the crawl? It should move as the same speed throughout.

This crawl was modeled closely off of the original crawl for Star Wars before the '81 crawl changed the timing. In the original the crawl actually does increase in speed toward the end. For the '81 crawl and all subsequent films the crawls have been standardized in speed and format for the most part, but this has thrown off the original musical transitions which occurred in the original at the paragraph breaks. The goal was to return to this musical synchronicity, but I could try to make the speedup at the end less noticeable.

  • When the village gets shot up by stormtroopers, Phasma says, “On my command.” Listen close, you can hear her repeat the last syllable happen a couple times (maybe due to a duplicated audio segment). I would recommend headphones for this, but it’s definitely there.

Duly noted.

  • Why did you cut Unkar Plutt’s introductory line? “What you brought me today is, hmm, worth one quarter portion.”

This was the last change I made before finishing the workprint, when I realized that Rey’s introduction is almost entirely wordless. I thought it would be cool to make it entirely wordless (sans alien gibberish), and I think it is still fully legible despite the dialogue.

  • The Poe/Kylo Ren interrogation scene looks great.

Thanks! I have thought about going in and standardizing the look of all the visions/dreams to match the island dream from the end of the film, but that’s probably the only change I’d make to this scene.

  • There is just some clipping on some of the audio (again, can be heard through headphones).
  • Maybe add some fades at the beginning/ends of those clips to prevent the clipping sounds.

Will do.

  • Not seeing the point of the nighttime BB-8 scene after Poe’s interrogation. It looks pretty but doesn’t serve a purpose if its that short.

Fair, that’s another late change from when the scene was going to include a dream sequence from Rey. I still think the scene has merit if it is lengthened slightly with more finesse from BB-8 (maybe he looks up at the stars and then goes around the foot and inside as the camera pans back up). I feel like there needs to be some sort of buffer between Poe’s interrogation and Finn’s rescue, and having a nighttime scene would help this, especially if I change the lighting somewhat in the rescue to imply that the crew is in night cycle.

  • Just as Snoke’s first scene occurs, is there a way to have Hux say Supreme Leader Snoke’s name or something? For people new to the series, they don’t know who this giant holligam is. If Hux said it, it would help — even if just as a voiceover in the clip leading up to this one.

Hm, I don’t know. That’s a good point, in the original he does say ‘Supreme Leader’. I suppose he could say that line again and have him be cut off by Snoke’s ‘SO…’ when standing, to indicate that Hux is being thoroughly ignored.

  • Clipped audio at Snoke scene / line: “Our strategy must change…"

  • I’ve seen edits before where they put an effect on Snoke to make him look more like a hologram.

  • Is that possible here? Since when did holagrams go HD?

I was never bothered too much by the advancements in hologram technology here. I know it’s been done fairly well in other edits, but I don’t think it’s super necessary.

  • The transition from Kylo Ren praying feels a little weird
  • Is there any shot of Kylo Ren walking down the hall of his star destoryer that could be used after he stands up from praying but before the shot of Finn preparing to leave? Like as a transition?

I don’t think so. Maybe TROS will have something, though that would have the new mask…

  • Turn down the music volume just a tad when Han says “where’d you get that” when Maz hands him the lightsaber

  • When Rey returns to Maz’s castle during the battle, you can hear Han’s voice say, “Oh no” (probably from a duplicated audio clip).

The ghosts of fallen ideas still haunt my timeline…

  • I feel like the music is just a tad too loud when Leia and Han are having their talk about Ben while they are inside the Resistance base.

Fair. I feel like most of the music for this film is buried in the ambience, but here I went too far in the other direction.

  • Another clipped audio just before Leia says, “The First Order, they’re charging the weapon now”

  • When Rey hides from the stormtroopers while on Starkiller Base, the scene cuts to Phasma saying, “Take no chances, I won’t tolerate sloppiness,” then back to Rey, then back to Phasma. Why not just have Rey hide, then have one cut to Phasma? It feels a little choppy having to switch between the two.

I experimented with that, and it feels weirder to go from Phasma being captured to Phasma lowering the shields. At one point the Kylo on the Falcon scene went between these scenes but that was moved, leaving this little segue. I don’t know what else to put here other than Rey starting to climb down the wall, which eats into the later scene where she hides from the TIE launch.

  • Moving the Leia reaction scene to Han’s death… I’m debating on this one. I feel like it actually flowed better having her reaction take place after Han dies but before Chewie goes crazy. You did the opposite here (that I do see the reason to why!); however, I’m just a little unsure.

Fair, the scene packs more immediate punch there, but even in the theater I remember thinking it was weird to interrupt the continuity of the scene for a single shot cutaway across the galaxy. The big reason the scene is there now is because I want there to be a bit of ambiguity as to Chewie’s fate, and Leia’s sorrowful reaction seems to have two parts.

Everything looks awesome. I’ll have more comments after I can watch it again, but these are my initial notes. Thanks again for putting this all together — it’s really great!

You’re welcome! Thanks again for the feedback, it’s really helpful.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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I have uploaded a new version of the workprint to fix the center channel audio glitch and all 20(!) people who have asked for the link should have the new link as well.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Time

Im curious to check it out one of these days!

Do NOT self-destruct!

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PM sent^ 😃

I’m interested in hearing everyone’s thoughts when they get a chance to see it, particularly the general feeling of the edit in its entirety. Does the darker version of Rey come through? Is Kylo sufficiently conflicted to be compelling in his evil? Does the dramatic increase in visions/voices hinder or help the narrative? Does the pacing flow well from scene to scene? After spending so long with a giant lens to the film it can be difficult to step back and see the full effect.

What a grand and intoxicating innocence. How could you be so naive? There is no escape. Come, lay down your weapons. It is not too late for my mercy.
Episode 9 Rewrite THE SHATTERED SWORD (Complete!)
The Force Awakens Restructured (V3 Released!) and The Starlight Project (WORKPRINT RELEASED!)

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Time
 (Edited)

I have only gotten to the Falcon escape, but I do have some thoughts.

I think Jakku regrade was a massive success. I genuinely love this look for Jakku. Some might find it too bland, but that feeling will make seeing the green of Takodana much more cathartic, imo.

I do think the BB-8 night shots are rather quick as well, but I get why it cuts to him at that point. I did have another thought though. Since we moved Ren’s line “I’ll leave that to you” Maybe in its place you could put something like, “Kill the pilot.” Poe gave them the information they need, he is no longer useful. Maybe when Finn walks in, he could say, “The Captain wants the prisoner.” So the audience might think he is about to be executed, maybe by Captain Phasma on Hux’s orders, then it turns out to be Finn trying to escape. Maybe that could help the transition between those two scenes?

I’ll have to comment on your other questions as I get farther into the edit.