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The Force Awakens: Starlight (V1.1 Released!) — Page 3

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NeverarGreat said:

Here’s what I was able to come up with:
https://vimeo.com/214921566
Password: ren

Getting closer! I’m sort of hearing, “You- You’ll give(me) the map to me” as of now. Like, the “you” part seems to jump and sounds like I’m hearing “me” quickly after “give”. I’m guessing you’re going for, “You will give the map to me”, right? Anyway, I know this is hard but I think it is almost there, and the cut itself looks good.

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^ Cool. Sounds pretty good so far. I’m sure a few little tweaks will make it even better.

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nicely done - that’s some top work there. As Sougouk says say keep up the great work!

A little patience goes a long way on this old-school Rebel base. If you are having issues finding what you are looking for, these will be of some help…

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… and take your time to look around this site before posting - to get a feel for this place. Don’t just lazily make yet another thread asking for projects.

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Was reading your cut list, and agree with everything, that being said Ilike to add a couple of suggestions that irk me about the movie.

1 Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Captain Phasmas got to go! She is just out of place and unneccessary.
2 The escape in the Tie fighter/ Poe naming Finn… it’s too long of an escape, especially the blue homing missile part would be a lot better if they just got shot down soon and survived, Finn is just his name.
3 When Rey and Finn are running for the Falcon cut the Thats a piece of junk, ideally that’s the ship they are running for, Rey seems very familliar with it anyway like she had flown it before, cut the rough take off.
4 Finns Falcon quad lazer getting hit, if he was dak he’d be dead, cut that and just have the tie crash exiting the stardestroyer when Rey makes the hairpin turn
5 cut the BB-8 antics during the falcon escape scene.
6 yes the rathirs, rey does a wiring trick the doors close they run and meet at the falcon, you would need to make a shot of the falcon taking off without a rathir on it though. Huge payoff to the movie.
7 the prolonged Kylo/Ben reveal idea would pay off big in my eyes if it was just sprung on you much like the way i belive digimod is doing with his edit
8 I really like the idea of splitting the interigation mind trick. it makes it seem that the encounter with Kylos mind “awakened something in her” maybe a subtle music cue similar to the lightsaber deul would help. (but repeating the same thing would be redundant, be redundant.
9 Keep up the awsome work, cannot wait to see how this all turns out, Big thanks to you and everyone involved.

My fan edit ideas
http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Return-of-the-Sith-Revenge-of-the-Jedi-by-marduk666/id/17356

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Despite my rather lengthy cutlist and my vendetta against the name ‘Snoke’, this edit doesn’t really remove things from what I consider to be a movie already cut to the bone. The main focus is on adding or expanding on character moments, in order to more fully flesh out the world. So many of these suggestions would be rather incompatible with the purpose of the edit.

Also, I’m planning on keeping almost all of the Rathtar footage in the movie, just not in the places you’d expect 😉

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

Starless Starkiller Firing

JEDIT: version 2: https://mega.nz/#!nANTQIyA!GIPUDnr6LBjarR0PegKZ7j-kQqIvTX5E1N1R6fDDsZY

In tangentially related thoughts, I just realized that Hux’s hand was forced with the defection of Finn - he had to use the weapon before the Republic evacuated the Hosnian system. I wish this was better explained in the film. If during the first Snoke scene Kylo mentioned the defection of FN-2187, it would better explain Snoke’s freakout:

Snoke: "…the new Jedi will rise."
Kylo: "And FN-2187?.."
Hux: "Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility…"
Snoke: "GENERAL! Our strategy must now change."
Hux: “The weapon is ready. The time has come to use it…”

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

I’m not sure how much better I can make this line, so for now this is where it stays:
https://vimeo.com/215060086
Password: ren

Sorry if it’s explained earlier, but what is the point of this change? Just rewatched this part in version 1 of Hal’s restructured TFA (which I’m assuming is unchanged from the original) and it’s not really any different from what you have him saying here in your edit? And if that’s as good as you can get it, sorry to say but I think this needs to be on your cutting room floor 😉

.Val

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NeverarGreat said:

Snoke: "…the new Jedi will rise."
Kylo: "And FN-2187?.."
Hux: "Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility…"
Snoke: "GENERAL! Our strategy must now change."
Hux: “The weapon is ready. The time has come to use it…”

If your edit, based on TFA:Restructured, moves the SKB plot around, would such a conversation be appropriate for the first Snoke scene? As it is, the weapon isn’t brought up until the second Snoke scene.

My stance on revising fan edits.

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Valheru_84 said:

NeverarGreat said:

I’m not sure how much better I can make this line, so for now this is where it stays:
https://vimeo.com/215060086
Password: ren

Sorry if it’s explained earlier, but what is the point of this change? Just rewatched this part in version 1 of Hal’s restructured TFA (which I’m assuming is unchanged from the original) and it’s not really any different from what you have him saying here in your edit? And if that’s as good as you can get it, sorry to say but I think this needs to be on your cutting room floor 😉

.Val

It was redone so that it was structured like a mind-trick, so the implication would be that Rey learned the mind-trick from Kylo trying it on her.

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 (Edited)

^Exactly 😃 I rather hoped that the strength of that idea overcame the deficiency of its execution, but I see that more work is needed.

Hal 9000 said:

NeverarGreat said:

Snoke: "…the new Jedi will rise."
Kylo: "And FN-2187?.."
Hux: "Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility…"
Snoke: "GENERAL! Our strategy must now change."
Hux: “The weapon is ready. The time has come to use it…”

If your edit, based on TFA:Restructured, moves the SKB plot around, would such a conversation be appropriate for the first Snoke scene? As it is, the weapon isn’t brought up until the second Snoke scene.

I had forgotten that. Restructured makes sense in this regard, but since I’m moving the first Snoke scene to just after Leia’s introduction, Snoke’s dialogue about the droid being taken to the Resistance implies that he knows all about Kylo’s new plans for Rey. And since he knows about that, Hux’s appearance in the second Snoke scene is cut, leaving no place for Starkiller talk.

Some of this was said earlier, but I prefer this order because it:

  1. Makes Snoke into a more informed, competent villain
  2. preserves the Kylo revelation until as late as possible
  3. Makes sense of Hux and Kylo’s movements, since they should have been tracking the Falcon instead of hanging out at the base

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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File this under miscellaneous ideas that may or may not ever be implemented, but there must be some device in the Star Wars universe which could accurately translate mental imagery into computer data. Why else would Kylo think that Rey was all he needed to assemble a working map to Luke? Traveling through hyperspace requires precise calculations, so any map generated from Rey’s recollections must be pretty damn accurate to be safe. And I assume that the ‘final piece’ of the map isn’t in the archives of the empire, otherwise Kylo would have said so and R2 would have it in his backup data, so it’s not a simple matter of seeing the final planet on the red dotted line.

What would such a device look like? Well, perhaps there’s some sort of headgear involved on Kylo’s part, or perhaps the overcomplicated torture chair has this ability. Some lights shining onto the sides of Rey’s head would be sufficient for establishing that the contents of her mind are being read by computer. It certainly doesn’t need to be as complicated as this:
Complicated Computer Mind Link Chair

Thoughts? Am I overthinking this? I tend to do that.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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You Are not overthinking it, it was the shitty script that underthought it.

Good idea - hope you find a good execution.

WHAT HAVE I DONE?
The Ancient Lore
Kenobi: A Star Wars Story
Harry Potter Revisited
Game of Thrones Film Edits
Titanic Restructured
… and more.

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If you read some of the comics can’t remember wich ones, jedi would use the force to make unchared hyperspace routes. I believe thats how the sith come in contact with the rest of the republic.
Also Luke Flys to dagobah on “manual” in ESB.
And also also I like the idea that Rey leaves Jakku on a random hyper jump just to get away and the falcon blows a hose and the fall out…with Han Solo going to be the first one to find her.
Alsox3 the human mind remembers stuff sub conciously, you know the old x files hypnosis remembering stuff thing, kylo glean every thing he can, the force does the rest. Alsox4 if he gets close he might run into the Droid and his companions and follow them to luke.
I think that rey getting the mind trick from Kyle would reinforce how far they are going into each others minds.
RANDOM
IS REY A CLONE OF LEIA?

My fan edit ideas
http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Return-of-the-Sith-Revenge-of-the-Jedi-by-marduk666/id/17356

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Yes, but there’s a difference between mystery and confusion/convenience. R2 randomly waking up at the end to give them the map was the latter, while the origin of Snoke (as much as I dislike him) is the former.

This is an odd case where the worldbuilding of Star Wars (hyperspace travel is a precise science) conflicts with the Star Wars ethos of ‘keep it simple and mysterious’. There’s also the matter of the villain’s plan. To take a villain seriously, their plan must make some amount of sense. Right now, Kylo’s plan seems nonexistent, because after he reads her mind, what then? Will he have to go into the map room and program planets and stars from his memory of her memory? Furthermore, if he was able to know in the forest that she’d seen the map, presumably he got a glimpse of it as well. What more would he need in the interrogation?

What would be ideal would be to have the chair read her brainwaves and generate a hologram of her memories that illuminates the darkened interrogation room.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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You are at least 110% overthinking it. That’s the kind of explanation that the EU is for, not the films.

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 (Edited)

There’s some confusion for me about Poe’s escape from Jakku. Poe only says that he woke up at night thrown from the TIE wreckage, unable to find Finn. This could mean that he woke up before Finn or after Finn and Rey left Jakku. An attempt at clarification, by changing the mid-day sun to dawn:

https://vimeo.com/239217816
Password: finn

(It might work better to give Finn’s investigation of the TIE a 50% correction as well to make the transition from dawn to day more gradual)

My imagined sequence of events is this: Poe has awoken in the predawn darkeness to the sound of the First Order searching the TIE, and he makes his escape as the First Order chase him. The First Order assumes that Finn is with him or was killed. Finn then awakens at dawn and finds the empty TIE.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

Poe says he woke up at night and didn’t see Finn or the ship. I always took that to mean after Finn had left (and the TIE sunk). That seems to be the implication anyway.

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That’s the original implication, but it doesn’t make much sense either way.

If he was thrown from the crash (didn’t eject), then he probably couldn’t have flown far without suffering major injuries or death on impact. In that case, Finn or more importantly the First Order would have found him. And if both Finn and Poe were lying unconscious in broad daylight fairly near to the TIE, then the First Order would have been completely blind to have missed them in their search, especially knowing exactly who they were looking for and where. I assume in all of this that the First Order has already searched the TIE by the time Finn awakens, since if they arrived after that they would have quickly tracked him down anyway.

So in an attempt to make the First Order something other than completely incompetent, I thought that his statement ‘I woke up at night, no you, no ship, nothing’ could refer to him being without Finn or a working ship and having to steal the Stormtrooper squad’s transportation. It’s a stretch, but it is no less illogical than the other implication.

Perhaps if I add the sound of two TIE fighters taking off (perhaps gunfire), and this is what awakens Finn…

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)