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The Force Awakens: Starlight (Released) — Page 74

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So, seeing as this is the premiere TFA edit thread pretty much, I thought I might as well ask this question here.

With each movie in the ST, I know that there’s been a pretty extensive Behind The Scenes documentary for each one on the Blu-Ray that has some alternate takes or cut scenes being filmed or what not. I know with TROS, some footage from that was used to great effect in Hal’s Ascendant edit (mostly just because of the lack of actual deleted scenes). I wonder if there are any scenes from TFA’s documentary that could be used as well alongside with the deleted scenes?

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 (Edited)

^ I have gone through the documentary in search of extra shots and have a bit of a library, but the primary use of the documentary to my knowledge has been in finishing the Han dice hanging scene. Other than that, there’s not too much in the way of useful footage that I recall.

The Last Jedi documentary actually has more of this sort of thing going on.

So it’s quickly become clear to me that the audio for the end of the scene is unlikely to sync up well with the mouth movements, so I’m making the decision to cut that part of the scene and end it with a wipe that partially obscures Threepio and his weird exit. This actually works fairly well now that it wipes to a neutral mountain shot.

This is only the first real attempt at making the line work, but I’m happy with how it’s turning out. I hope to further adjust the takes to really nail the line, but even as-is I think this could work in the edit.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

NeverarGreat said:

I’ve just got some great line readings from him now, so I’ll be busy going through and editing them. But in the meantime, an important test.

Nice. Definitely foreshadows the McMuffin in TROS.

I like the new test, too. I do think that the extra line isn’t totally necessary, but any new bits that could be added is cool too.

Also, I’m assuming you’re trying to get “General” to line up with his original mouth movement for “Jakku”. But yours has a pause between General and the rest of the line, whereas his mouth movements don’t show him ever pausing. In the original scene, he says General as he is walking up, pauses, then says “Jakku village was wiped out”. I feel like it would be better to try to keep “General” in the original placement, if that makes sense.

For reference, the original lines for extra line for the officer.

“-found his X-Wing, destroyed. Blaster marks-“

Maybe we could think of something else that would better fit. Or edit the mouth movements? May not be worth the trouble.

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This is nitpicky, but it also seems like the officer is at the end of a sentence right before the camera pans down off of his face. It makes me wonder if a line like, “General, the Senate has just voted/responded…” his face goes off-camera. “They’re launching their fleet within the hour.”
Anyway I think it works as-is too. Feel bad for making you and Eddie go back and forth re-recording lines.

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It’s no trouble at all to keep recording lines! I already plan to redo what we have while looping the video so I can give lots of attempt at perfect lipsync. It’s no trouble, and alternate lines or emphasis suggestions are welcome!

The Clone Wars: Refocused

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Great!

Story time, I was working through the comments on Starlight V1 and a few people were noticing that audio that should have been surround or stereo were sounding very mono. Taking a closer look at my timeline, I realized that a few of my audio tracks were indeed forcing stereo tracks into mono. This has been fixed, which means that quite a few effects and scenes throughout the film now sound a lot more dynamic, noticeably deleted scenes and the Starkiller firing sequence.

This is why feedback is so vital, so thank you everyone who pointed this out!

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Speaking of audio, the Starkiller destruction sequence has never felt right to me due to the constraints of the music forcing me to delete the ships jumping to Hyperspace. I’ve revamped that entire sequence with a modified musical cue that removes the upbeat section back on D’qar and replaces it with a single ending note. Now the ships jump to Hyperspace on this finale and the scene on D’qar begins with no music whatsoever, better fitting the somber tone of Restructured and Starlight.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

There’s another line in this edit that could use replacement, and it appears in the mockup videos. A First Order officer tells Kylo ‘Sir, she was not found in hangar 718, but all troops are on alert.’

For the edit, Rey hasn’t yet entered hangar 718 so I truncated the line to ‘Sir, all troops are on alert.’ However, it still feels a bit strange to have that gap in dialogue, so I thought it might be good to kill two birds with one stone and establish the players of the upcoming scenes:

‘Sir, Phasma is in full command of base security, and all troops are on alert.’

This reminds everyone that Phasma will be important in a few scenes as well as establishing that she would have the clearance to deactivate the shields. An audience member could then guess what Finn is about to do instead of throwing up their hands with an ‘I guess!’ when he does it.

Anyway, it should probably have a different voice actor than Eddie since the scene is so close to the ones he’s already working on. If anyone else wishes to volutneer as tribute, I would be inestimably grateful.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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NeverarGreat said:

Anyway, it should probably have a different voice actor than Eddie since the scene is so close to the ones he’s already working on. If anyone else wishes to volutneer as tribute, I would be inestimably grateful.

I volunteer! I can do a pretty decent British accent, and I have a pretty high-quality microphone. It would be an honor to have a voice cameo in such an amazing edit.

My preferred Skywalker Saga experience:
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Smart idea! Initially I kind of prefer the idea of him just saying, “Some kind of one-shot laser cannon”, but I see the benefit of calling it a kyber cannon, though.

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 (Edited)

I mean, I’m totally open to redo any line if Nev or the community prefer.

The reason I liked “kyber” is mainly because it makes Starkiller’s link to Ilum that much closer, and it’s a nice tie to Rogue One and other recent canon that makes kyber more of a thing.

Going down the headcanon rabbit hole, you could even use the modern idea about lightsaber (kyber) crystal ‘bleeding’ to explain why the beam is red rather than the Death Star’s green (which could then take you even further down the rabbit hole of asking how powerful a Sith you’d need to ‘bleed’ a planet of kyber).

Plus, I think having it described as something unfamiliar and distinct helps it flow nicely with Snap’s next line about not knowing what to call it.

The Clone Wars: Refocused

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That is all true! And it lines up with the mouth movements well, so that‘s the important thing.

And this new line is also a good way to clarify that another thing that sets Starkiller apart from the Death Stars is that this is a single-use super weapon.

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I’d like to request a variant that doesn’t explicitly make it a “one-shot” because my project and perhaps others would need one in order to use this change.

I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently.

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 (Edited)

I could do that.

However, ‘one-shot’ or a variation on that line could refer to the fact that it can’t move and thus can only absorb a single star to be used for one or two attacks.

Perhaps some kind of single charge Kyber cannon.” would make everyone happy.

Alternatively…perhaps we could play up the fact that this weapon is experimental and unstable:

“An extremely unstable Kyber cannon.”

or

“A massive, unstable Kyber cannon.”

or

“Some kind of unstable Kyber cannon.”

This would not only set up the plan later in the scene based around destabilizing the weapon, but it would explain the First Order’s behavior as well. Only Hux seems eager to use the weapon and his last dialogue in the film practically implies that he expected the weapon to be destroyed. It also explains why Snoke is nowhere near the Starkiller at any point in the film, and why such a weapon isn’t just a power-crept Death Star.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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Here is the latest Senate Response scene with Eddie’s new recording and more sound editing. The First Order officer line has yet to be added.

As far as the flow of the scene, I think it works well. However, it does require the use of the mountain establishing shot which was deleted from Starlight V1 but was not deleted from Restructured. Any attempt to add this deleted scene to Restructured would need to contend with this difficulty, either in cutting directly to Kylo’s update or finding another unused establishing shot.

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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 (Edited)

Just a couple of thoughts “from the outisde” now, Nev:

In the “one-shot Kyber cannon” scene, I feel like my line needs to be just a fraction earlier, for better lipsync.

(Though I’ll also definitely record new and alternate lines once we’ve compiled a list.)

In the “senate has voted” scene, I think my voice needs to be pulled a little deeper, to better match your “kyber cannon” line tweaks. I’m a little high-pitched by nature and the deeper voice better suits that actor’s face, I reckon.

Also, I’m just wondering if there’s any other reading that might best lipsync to the delivered line.

The original is “The Jakku village was wiped out”, and the most clear lip movements there are “aa-oo-ee-ws-wap”. The letters ‘w’ and ‘p’ have similar movements to ‘m’, ‘n’, ‘b’, and ‘t’, and some of the vowels are similar, so maybe for the part where he’s on screen, the best fit would be “A senate transmission”. (Try voicing it yourself over the muted clip, it matches well.)

“General? A senate transmission. They’ve voted to mobilize the fleet, but are hours from launch.” -perhaps?

Or “General? A senate transmission. The Republic fleet is mobilising, but is still hours away from launch.”?

The Clone Wars: Refocused

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For the Senate scene, I also think Eddie’s line needs to be a little louder in the mix.

The Skywalker Saga:
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This is the way.

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 (Edited)

EddieDean said:

Just a couple of thoughts “from the outisde” now, Nev:

In the “one-shot Kyber cannon” scene, I feel like my line needs to be just a fraction earlier, for better lipsync.

(Though I’ll also definitely record new and alternate lines once we’ve compiled a list.)

In the “senate has voted” scene, I think my voice needs to be pulled a little deeper, to better match your “kyber cannon” line tweaks. I’m a little high-pitched by nature and the deeper voice better suits that actor’s face, I reckon.

Also, I’m just wondering if there’s any other reading that might best lipsync to the delivered line.

The original is “The Jakku village was wiped out”, and the most clear lip movements there are “aa-oo-ee-ws-wap”. The letters ‘w’ and ‘p’ have similar movements to ‘m’, ‘n’, ‘b’, and ‘t’, and some of the vowels are similar, so maybe for the part where he’s on screen, the best fit would be “A senate transmission”. (Try voicing it yourself over the muted clip, it matches well.)

“General? A senate transmission. They’ve voted to mobilize the fleet, but are hours from launch.” -perhaps?

Or “General? A senate transmission. The Republic fleet is mobilising, but is still hours away from launch.”?

Both of those variants sound good to me! Though I imagine that for such a brief scene, the more simple the better, and since ‘transmission’ is a difficult word, removing ‘mobilizing’ may help comprehension:

“General? A Senate transmission. They’ve voted to send the fleet, but it is still hours away from launch.”

You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)

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I feel like Leia is talking before she actually says her line, is there something that can be done about that?