Just a couple of thoughts “from the outisde” now, Nev:
In the “one-shot Kyber cannon” scene, I feel like my line needs to be just a fraction earlier, for better lipsync.
(Though I’ll also definitely record new and alternate lines once we’ve compiled a list.)
In the “senate has voted” scene, I think my voice needs to be pulled a little deeper, to better match your “kyber cannon” line tweaks. I’m a little high-pitched by nature and the deeper voice better suits that actor’s face, I reckon.
Also, I’m just wondering if there’s any other reading that might best lipsync to the delivered line.
The original is “The Jakku village was wiped out”, and the most clear lip movements there are “aa-oo-ee-ws-wap”. The letters ‘w’ and ‘p’ have similar movements to ‘m’, ‘n’, ‘b’, and ‘t’, and some of the vowels are similar, so maybe for the part where he’s on screen, the best fit would be “A senate transmission”. (Try voicing it yourself over the muted clip, it matches well.)
“General? A senate transmission. They’ve voted to mobilize the fleet, but are hours from launch.” -perhaps?
Or “General? A senate transmission. The Republic fleet is mobilising, but is still hours away from launch.”?