Oh man, Eddie having a voice cameo makes this edit even better!! Love it.
I wonder if you could go with a line like this:
“General, the Senate has responded. They’re mobilizing the fleet. Will they reach us in time?”
I kind of like this line because it gets the same idea across, but it might help paint this picture of the fleet gathering over Hosnian Prime, getting ready to send it to Starkiller Base, but it reminds the audience that both the Senate and a huge chunk of the navy is destroyed. We could see some ships jump to hyperspace before the planet is destroyed perhaps.
And Octorox, I think that idea can still get across because we see that the New Republic being slow to action causes their destruction. Yes, they finally came to the right decision, but only after too much debate.
Also Nev, I’m assuming you’ll play around with covering Leia’s mouth movement before her trimmed line, “They haven’t got a chance.” Is that correct?
Glad you like it, RL! I’m honestly shocked at how quickly this has come together with Eddie’s help.
I don’t want to make the line too long, as there’s a limited amount of space for it in the scene, which is why I was trying to shorten it to two sentences. But if Eddie wishes, he could do a variety of takes and we’ll see what works.
And yes, I will be fixing the weird mouth movements, probably along with the eventual timecode removal.
You probably don’t recognize me because of the red arm.
Episode 9 Rewrite, The Starlight Project (Released!) and ANH Technicolor Project (Released!)