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The Force Awakens Fan Edit Ideas - ** SPOILERS ** — Page 23

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That’s not a bad idea, moving the Finn and Han scene to earlier. I’ll give that a shot later, hopefully today.

And the “it’s” comes from the scene where Han and Chewie tractor the Falcon aboard their larger freighter, and Finn looks through the cockpit.

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Been lurking for a while but I’m keen to contribute to this thread

I’ve been working on an edit with the space laser moved to the end, this is the scene I cut to fix Finn leaving: https://vimeo.com/165755482

He never leaves the building so the next time we see him is in the basement to receive the lightsaber. I also cut Finn saying ‘please’, didn’t think it fit with him being a coward in this scene

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And here’s an update draft. I do like it better this way, keeping the original flow of that section more similar to the original. Not too bad.
https://vimeo.com/165767941

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@Hal: That’s great. With some VFX that shouldn’t even be that hard to do and a new score, the scene should work perfectly this way.

@Imhotep: I don’t think that your approach can work story-wise, as Finn goes from leaving to fighting the First Order with no explanation at all. The audience would assume he left after he talks to Rey and later he suddenly returns for no reason.

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Someone was going to be working on isolating score from the films. Was that you, Smithers? This scene would be a good first one to do, since it’d be good to keep the foley even if the music gets changed.

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Hal 9000 said:

Someone was going to be working on isolating score from the films. Was that you, Smithers? This scene would be a good first one to do, since it’d be good to keep the foley even if the music gets changed.

Yeah it’s in the works. TFA has much more music in the centre track than the PT does. It’s a bit of a challenge but I’ll figure it out.

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Was scanning over the movie, and noticed something I hadn’t before. When Finn first meets Leia, Poe references the weapon “that destroyed the Hosnian system.”
In order to remove the line, the scene has to look like this, with a non-ideal succession of three quick shots.
https://vimeo.com/166130938

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I noticed this too. I tried to alter it myself by just having him just say, “Finn’s familiar with the weapon” but you can really tell that it has been cut because of how fast he says it. I wonder if one could cut it in a way to make him say “Finn’s familiar with the base” and cut back to Leia as he is saying “the base”.

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Or after Finn says that his friend was taken prisoner, you could just cut to Leia saying, “And I’ll do everything I can to help, but first you need to tell us all you know.” Yeah you lose a few lines but it’s worth it in order to bypass that jarring cut. And the lines lost are not really necessary, the scene still works either way. But I would only try this if the first one me and Smithers thought about still feels noticeably jarring.

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Yeah, probably so. Also, does it make sense for SKB to explode into a star since in this proposed version it would have already discharged its stellar energy?

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RogueLeader said:

Or after Finn says that his friend was taken prisoner, you could just cut to Leia saying, “And I’ll do everything I can to help, but first you need to tell us all you know.” Yeah you lose a few lines but it’s worth it in order to bypass that jarring cut. And the lines lost are not really necessary, the scene still works either way. But I would only try this if the first one me and Smithers thought about still feels noticeably jarring.

This is what I had in mind, it would be way more seamless.

Prequel Fan-Edit thread: http://originaltrilogy.com/topic/Yet-another-series-of-prequel-edits/id/17329

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Hal 9000 said:

Yeah, probably so. Also, does it make sense for SKB to explode into a star since in this proposed version it would have already discharged its stellar energy?

I’d actually thought about this as well. I think within the context of the theatrical version it doesn’t make sense but within this version it could. If the energy of an entire star was compressed inside a planet smaller than it, why wouldn’t it explode back into its massive size instead of turning into a planet-sized star? But if Starkiller base already released most of the sun’s energy firing, it’s possible what we see is some residual energy that was still inside. So you could keep it the same size/color or you could make it a white dwarf star, which are smaller in size but have equal mass to a star similar to our sun.

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I know I’m super late with this, but I’ve had this crawl floating around in my head for months now and I’d really like to know what you think about it:

The state of the galaxy
remains in a fragile balance.
The sinister FIRST ORDER has
risen from the ashes of the
Empire and is threatening the
New Republic.

With the Jedi gone and the
government slow to react,
only a small but brave
RESISTANCE, led by General
Leia Organa, stands against
the forces of evil.

Desperate for help, Leia has
sent her most daring pilot on
a secret mission to Jakku,
where an old ally has
discovered a clue to the
whereabouts of the last Jedi…

My goal was to get it in line with the other crawls in that it starts with the galactic situation and then focuses more and more on the main characters and what’s going to happen. That’s why I removed the “Luke Skywalker has vanished.” line even though I really like it.
I’ve also been thinking about including that SKB is a Sith weapon but in the end I decided against it. Wouldn’t be hard to add that to the first paragraph though.
Earlier I also had “young Republic” instead of “New Republic”, but I wanted to add the New and “young New Republic” sounds weird.

And I think I got the first line from someone in this thread, but I don’t have the time to check who it was right now.

Let me know what you think.

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Kexikus said:

I know I’m super late with this, but I’ve had this crawl floating around in my head for months now and I’d really like to know what you think about it:

The state of the galaxy
remains in a fragile balance.
The sinister FIRST ORDER has
risen from the ashes of the
Empire and is threatening the
New Republic.

With the Jedi gone and the
government slow to react,
only a small but brave
RESISTANCE, led by General
Leia Organa, stands against
the forces of evil.

Desperate for help, Leia has
sent her most daring pilot on
a secret mission to Jakku,
where an old ally has
discovered a clue to the
whereabouts of the last Jedi…

My goal was to get it in line with the other crawls in that it starts with the galactic situation and then focuses more and more on the main characters and what’s going to happen. That’s why I removed the “Luke Skywalker has vanished.” line even though I really like it.
I’ve also been thinking about including that SKB is a Sith weapon but in the end I decided against it. Wouldn’t be hard to add that to the first paragraph though.
Earlier I also had “young Republic” instead of “New Republic”, but I wanted to add the New and “young New Republic” sounds weird.

And I think I got the first line from someone in this thread, but I don’t have the time to check who it was right now.

Let me know what you think.

Nice work and all its just “Luke Skywalker has vanished” is something that really stuck with me. It’s my favorite opening line of any crawl.

Return of the Jedi: Remastered

Lord of the Rings: The Darth Rush Definitives

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A lot of people may already know, but to those who, erm, don’t, some never-before-seen footage from Maz’s castle features on Ep1 of the Star Wars show. It might not be especially revealing but it’s extra footage.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

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Kexikus said:

@Imhotep: I don’t think that your approach can work story-wise, as Finn goes from leaving to fighting the First Order with no explanation at all. The audience would assume he left after he talks to Rey and later he suddenly returns for no reason.

Thanks for the advice. I went back and watched the whole Maz’s castle sequence and you’re right; the scene with Finn, Han, and Maz is too short for it to work.
Hal’s cut is clearer, and placing the “where’s Rey” scene where Hux’s speech was is good. I wasn’t sure what to do with that jump cut of Rey running through the forest.

Your crawl is good, it seems more coherent. I thought I’d miss the “Luke Skywalker has vanished” line but I prefer your take.
In the “With the Jedi gone…” line it sounds like you’re referring to order 66. I like the tie in with the prequels, just wondering if that’s what you meant?

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I’ve just uploaded a rough TFA edit. If anyone wants it send a PM.

It started out as an experiment to see if I could seamlessly remove the Rathtars and X-wing assault on SKB. I had thought the Rathtars would be reasonably easy and X-Wings tough or maybe impossible. But in practice the Rathtars were much tougher due to having to cut so many shots of Chewie’s wounded arm, and the X-wings was quite an easy thing to cut. The X-wing-less Act 3 really works well, IMO, and means it doesn’t feel like a retread of ANH in the last 20 minutes any more.

It’s rough around the edges… you know, like all my fanedits. But hopefully it’ll be helpful to those down the line with their edits.

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Imhotep said:

Your crawl is good, it seems more coherent. I thought I’d miss the “Luke Skywalker has vanished” line but I prefer your take.
In the “With the Jedi gone…” line it sounds like you’re referring to order 66. I like the tie in with the prequels, just wondering if that’s what you meant?

Actually, no that’s not what I meant, but now that you mentioned it I like this tie.
The line was actually added right when posting my crawl here. Originally the second paragraph started with “With the government slow to react…”, but then there was no mention of Luke/the Jedi missing until the last paragraph and that felt weird to me since most people probably assumed that Luke had rebuilt the Jedi Order in the 30 years after ROTJ. It’s not as personal as the “Luke Skywalker has vanished” line but still gets the point that Luke is apparently missing across.