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The Empire Strikes Back Script Game

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YIYF had an idea for a thread/game that was a bit wacky, but he thought it might be fun - basically we recited the script of A New Hope word for word, from memory, one line/paragraph per post. There was no need for locations/descriptions, just dialogue.

I finished ANH. I feel awful about it now. so I will make it up by starting the ESB script game. Here we go!

A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away.....

Star Wars

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.

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Hey. Stop feeling bad. I'm just glad to finally be on my favorite Star Wars movie! Things really started to slow down on the last one once we got to the battle and were unable to figure out which line came next!

A small group of freedom fighters, led by Luke Skywalker, have established a new base on the remote ice world of Hoth.

Obsessed with finding young Skywalker, the evil lord Darth Vader has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space...

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Luke: Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?

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Han: Loud and clear, Kid. What's up?

EDIT: Heh, I actually like this one line back and forth stuff. It makes me feel like I'm having an actual conversation... as a Star Wars character! Geekness +10!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Luke: Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings.


*i like it, too! definite geek factor!*

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Heh, I think you meant Luke there.

Han: There isn't enough life on this rock to fill a space cruiser! Sensors are placed. I'm going back.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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heh.. yea i changed it right after i saw it.. i guess i secretly wish i was as cool as han.

Luke: Right. I'll see you shortly. There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won't take long.

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Luke: Right i'll see you shortly. Theres a meteroite that hit the ground here I want to check it out it won't take long.
Tauntaun: Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Luke: Steady, Steady girl. Whats the matter you smell something?
Wompa: Roarrrrrrrrrrrrr *Attacks luke.*
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where's your line, sean?

EDIT: nevermind, i'll do it.

Chewie: *growl*

Han: All right, don't lose your temper. I'll come right back and give you a hand.

Chewie: *growl*

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I thought we weren't allowed to get help.

Rieekan: Solo.
Han: General. I gotta leave. I can't stay anymore.
Rieekan: I'm sorry to hear that.
Solo: I've got a price on my head. If I don't pay off Jabba the Hutt, I'm a dead man.
Rieekan: A death mark's not an easy thing to live with (one of my favorite lines.). You're a good fighter, Solo. I'd hate to lose you.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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that's right. from memory, people...

Han: Thank you, General. *turns* Well, Your Highness, I guess this is it.

Leia: That's right.

Han: Well, don't get all mushy on me. So long, Princess.

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Leia: Han!
Han: Yes, your highnessness?
Leia: I thought you had decided to stay?
Han: Well, that bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind.
Leia: Han, we need you!
Han: We need? Well what about you need?
Leia: I need? I don't know what you're talking about.
Han: You probably don't.

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Leia: And what precisely am I supposed to know?

Han: Come on! You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me.

Leia: Yes. You're a great help to us. You're a natural leader...

Han: No! That's not it. Come on. Aahhh! uh huh! Come on.

Leia: You're imagining things.

Han: Am I? Then why are you following me? Afraid I was going to leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?

Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.

Han: I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!

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C-3PO: Don't try to blame me. I didn't tell you turn on the thermal heater. I merely commented that it was freezing in the princess's chambers!
R2-D2: Beep
C-3PO: But it's supposed to be freezing! How we're going to dry out all her clothes, I really don't know!
R2-D2: Blorp
C-3PO: Oh, switch off!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Chewie: Arrgg!

Han: Why do you take this apart now!? I'm trying to get us out of here and you pull both of these?!
§ JxF §
http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k200/Jediii_2006/box/blu-sw.jpg

http://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k200/Jediii_2006/box/starwars_ani.gif
http://img118.imageshack.us/img118/489/bluraydisc2lk9.jpg
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C-3PO: Excuse me, Sir. Princess Leia was trying to contact you on the communicator.
Han: I turned it off. I don't want to talk to her.
C-3PO: Oh. She's looking for Master Luke, Sir. He hasn't come back yet. She doesn't know where he is.
Han: I don't know where he is.
C-3PO: Nobody knows where he is.
Han: What do you mean, nobody knows? Deck officer?! Deck officer!
C-3PO: Might I--

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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DECK OFFICER Yes, sir?

HAN Do you know where Commander Skywalker is?

DECK OFFICER I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance.

HAN It's possible? Why don't you go find out? It's getting dark out there.

DECK OFFICER Yes, sir.

THREEPIO Excuse me, sir. Might I inquire what's going on?

HAN Why not?

THREEPIO Impossible man. Come along, Artoo, lets find Princess Leia. Between ourselves, I think Master Luke is in considerable danger.

http://www.facebook.com/DirtyWookie

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Rebel nobody: Sir, Commander Skywalker hasn't come in through the south entrance. He might have forgotten to check in.

Han: Not likely. Are the speeders ready?

Rebel Nobody: Not yet. We're having some trouble adapting them to the cold.

Han: Then we'll have to go out on Tauntauns.

Rebel Nobody: Sir, the temperature's dropping too rapidly.

Han: That's right. And my friends out in it.

Rebel Nobody: Your Tauntaun will freeze before you reach the first marker.

Han: Then I'll see you in Hell!

War does not make one great.

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3PO: You must come along now, Artoo. There's really nothing more we can do. And my joints are freezing up.

R2: Beep booop

3PO: Don't say things like that! Of course we'll see Master Luke again. And he'll be quite all right, you'll see. Stupid little short-circuit. He'll be quite all right.

http://www.facebook.com/DirtyWookie

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C-3PO: I'm afraid R2's sensors have been unable to pick up any signals, but he does admit that his own range is far too weak to abandon all hope.
Rebel Nobody: All the patrols are in. Still no... still no contact from Skywalker or Solo.
Major Derlin: Princess, there's nothing more we can do. The shield doors must be closed. Close the doors.
Chewbacca: Rawr!
C-3PO: R2 says the chances for survival are 725... to 1! But R2 has been known... to make mistakes... from time to time... Oh, dear, oh, dear!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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3PO: Don't worry about Master Luke. I'm sure he'll be all right. He's quite clever, you know...for a human being.



BEN: Luke! Luke!

LUKE: Ben?

BEN: You will go to the Dagobah system.

LUKE: Dagobah system?

BEN: There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed me. (well sorta..)

LUKE: Ben...Ben.

http://www.facebook.com/DirtyWookie

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Han: Luke! Luke! Oh, don't do this, Luke! Don't do this! This may smell bad, Kid, but it'll keep you warm til I get the shelter built!
Luke: Ben! Yoda!
Han: And I thought they smelled bad... on the outside!

There is no lingerie in space…

C3PX said: Gaffer is like that hot girl in high school that you think you have a chance with even though she is way out of your league because she is sweet and not a stuck up bitch who pretends you don’t exist… then one day you spot her making out with some skinny twerp, only on second glance you realize it is the goth girl who always sits in the back of class; at that moment it dawns on you why she is never seen hanging off the arm of any of the jocks… and you realize, damn, she really is unobtainable after all. Not that that is going to stop you from dreaming… Only in this case, Gaffer is actually a guy.

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Echo base, I've got something, Not much but it could be a life form.
“Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” — Nazi Reich Marshal Hermann Goering