The Clone Wars: Refocused [COMPLETE] — Page 44

I agree with Darth, Pursuit of Peace is a pretty good one. I also liked the one that happens before it; I think it was called Heroes on Both Sides? Arguably the episode isn’t the best when it comes to plot, but the humanization of the actual people on the Separatists’ side was a nice touch for me. That episode really helped to sell that one, the Separatists aren’t just the droid army and Count Dooku, and two, I think it highlights the level and power of manipulation Palpatine has on both sides. I think out of all of the Padme episodes, those ones were the most memorable for me, but as to how or where they should fit in the larger context, I’m not too sure. Just some thoughts.

Both completely correct. I’ve just finished a re-review of a batch of Padmé-centric episodes: Corruption/The Academy, Assassin, Heroes on Both Sides/Pursuit of Peace/Senate Murders. Onwards to analysis!

Corruption

• Is mostly setup for Academy, though has some good Padmé scenes. In this watchthrough I spotted that there’s a good focused throughline where you focus on Padmé being brought in as someone Satine trusts, and she helps her uncover Almec, but you don’t touch on the school drinks poisoning at all. I also don’t think Padmé should be actively killing the rivals of a neutral party that opposes the Republic though, that screams ‘political suicide’ to me.
• Fixing and refocusing this is all achievable with trimming. You can skip all of the unwanted bits, so long as the green bottles are something else - I think I’d go for explosive fuel in the opening crawl, and probably recontextualise the whole so that this is about Death Watch sympathisers within Mandalore’s citizenry importing black market explosive fuel.
• I don’t know how much value I’d get out of this next idea, but since the drinks contain “Tea”, I might use the opening crawl to establish the street name “T” (short for whatever so long as it begins with ‘T’) if I want to use more dialogue that refers to the word ‘Tea’. I might not need to though.

The Academy

• Is where the meat of this duology is. Though the four kids aren’t very interesting, and don’t add much to the overall plot even if you account for their future appearance. I’d possibly even exclude their initial scene in the warehouse, just letting them report it with context, to keep the focus on Ahsoka.
• The original version of this depends on some pretty heavy handwaving to get Ahsoka training some kids, so I’d use the crawl to establish that Mandalore’s mandatory youth military conscription has been replaced with mandatory youth civic academies, to better sell the idea that it’s really important to Mandalorian culture - both traditional and modern - and better justify Ahsoka’s presence.
• A lot of this episode isn’t super strong, but I still think it’s a worthy episode overall. I’ll trim it quite heavily though, so it might end up being my shortest episode yet (even including the Corruption lead-in).
• Ahsoka giving the kids the political situation is BRILLIANT, mainly because it’s a primer for how the real world works and how to operate within it.

Assassin

• Is awkward. I’ve been on the fence about it but on review I think I’m going to relegate it to a lower cut (probably just Complete Cut, my lowest other than outright exclusion).
• Pros:
  • Lovely Ahsoka/Padmé moments. Though I wish they’d come after the following episode(s), which they can’t due to Ahsoka’s model change.
  • Alderaan is nice. Though not well explored, and only really shown as static art so you don’t get to enjoy its beauty.
  • More good Padmé politics. Though not as good as the following arc.
  • Some very nice Ahsoka/Yoda stuff. They have an interesting relationship and it would have been great to see this explored more.
  • Good scenes of all our rebel alliance instigators (so long as you’re watching Hal’s Ep3, or at least a fanedit with the rebellion deleted scenes, which you should be)
• But, Cons, which I think win out:
  • Ahsoka demonstrates a new power, visions. You can argue that visions are a standard force power, but they’re always used in instances of a strong emotional bond, and this is the first time we see Ahsoka and Padmé together (the official first time, which I’m excluding, doesn’t have them interact, so it’s not like I can do better here). There’s no emotional jeopardy or advantage to having Ahsoka have visions of Padmé’s death.
  • Aurra Sing isn’t interesting in this. She’s literally just a paid assassin…
  • …for Ziro the Hutt, no less. Who doesn’t appear in my edit, and cheapens Jabba and the Hutts. You could use the crawl to recontextualise this as a Separatist or Mandalorian attack, but neither is as good as the arc which follows.
  • We know Padmé doesn’t die, so there’s no jeopardy.
  • The payoff is extremely light. The political victory here of Padmé’s speech achieves nothing, compared to the better arc which follows, which cover a lot of similar beats but with a far better Separatist plot.
• So, ultimately. Since I’m including the prior arc which builds on Padmé’s trust with Mandalore, and including the following arc which is a far better Coruscant politics episode, and there’s no value add here for Ahsoka, I can’t include this in my Quality Cut.

Heroes on Both Sides

• Needs a little bit of tightening, but is The Good Shit. Easily, by a mile, the best politics episode in this show, and good enough for the Quality Cut. Good enough, even, to become the season three premiere, since even though it’s action light and politics heavy, it really gives you a load of meat with which to question the war and dive into those good shades of grey. I might not show a kid this episode, but I think an adult would get a lot out of it.
• Ultimately, while we don’t get much (good) Padmé in this show, this episode makes up for it. Yeah, it’s politics, but it’s Padmé at arguably her best in the entire SW franchise. So it stays.
• Obviously the Mina/Lux Bonteri angle also makes this core.
• Introduces Lux, and ideally I’d get back to him not only with his next episode in my season three (which fits in terms of the Mauldalore stuff), but also I’d get to the Onderon arc in season three too, allowing the whole season to encompass Lux, and conclude with Ahsoka having processed it all. (It’d be cool to get the seeds of Rebellion covered in this season too.)
• I’d trim a lot of Grievous directing the bomb droids, and instead have them appear only near the end of the episode as more of a suprise. I think it’d hit better that way.
• This episode also kind of works better as the first episode where Ahsoka and Padmé get to know each other personally.

Pursuit of Peace

• Should be paired with the prior episode into the season three premiere.
• Shame Mina was killed offscreen but OK.
• A little bit drier, a little bit slower than the previous, but pairs nicely and concludes well, including giving us a bit of action with those bounty hunters.
• SOME of the politics should probably be trimmed, here. Interest rates etc are probably a bit too detailed. I’ll see how much I can cut to the point that we still have all of the powerful stuff, and the good intrigue set up by the prior episode, without it getting TOO dry.
• Absolutely brilliant speech - so good that I’d misremembered Padmé’s presence in TCW as basically this entire speech given over and over.
• A really good scene of Palpatine’s menace at the end of this episode, but I think I’m right to have the rule that only Sidious gets to be the bad guy, whereas Palpatine doesn’t, so I’d trim this. I don’t know why I care so much for the Palpatine twist. Actually I’ll talk about it as an aside at the end of this post.*

Senate Murders

• Way weaker than the previous two. And kind of undoes the greatness of PoP, which was clearly designed to kind of do Senate Murders but better.
• The inspector is horrible, the rodian murder plot is boring. Onaconda is a nobody who doesn’t solicit an emotional response, and there’s no jeopardy.
• I’ll use almost none of this, though there are one or two scenes which would work cut into the prior episodes and add a bit of value, mainly Padmé arguing with the Kaminoan senator.

*Regarding the Palpatine twist. I know this is just my opinion, but a lot has been said about the right order to watch Star Wars. Original first, Prequel first, Machete, etc. And a lot of edits have been made so that it can be enjoyed in those preferred ‘right’ orders. Ep1 trimmed as the opening of Ep2, trilogy edits, prequels with the OT twists preserved, etc. But here’s the OBJECTIVELY CORRECT, NO ARGUMENT WELCOME, OFFICIAL DEFINITELY RIGHT, IF YOU DISAGREE YOU ARE WRONG ordering:

1. Original Trilogy
2. Entire franchise in chronological order (including the OT, in place).

That’s it. That’s how you watch Star Wars. OT first, then ALL OF IT in canon order. The original trilogy has so much cultural weight that everything else in Star Wars orbits it. No character will ever top Luke/Leia/Han/Obi-Wan/Vader. No moment will ever beat “I am your father”. Babies are born recognising Yoda as the Jedi that trained Luke on Dagobah. You cannot preserve these twists, because they are as fundamental to culture as the fact that spiderman is red and blue and swings from webs. By which I kind of mean, yeah, you can try to preserve them for your kids, but by the time your kids are old enough to enjoy peak Star Wars, they’ll already know the OT. So just show them the fuckin’ OT first. It’s the best introduction anyway. Black and white, good vs evil, classical fantasy set in space, the hero and the villain and the princess and the wise man and the scoundrel. Tropes that will last forever. There’s no need to preserve them because the prequels are not retroactively additive - they are additive AFTER you have seen the OT.
And then, yes, you lose on the fact that Anakin becomes Vader and has Luke and Leia as kids, and you lose on the jeopardy of Obi-Wan (because you know he survives). But again, you cannot avoid that. The prequel trilogy, whilst great, are CULTURALLY prequels. I’ll capitalise that differently: They’re culturally PREQUELS. The PT will ALWAYS be the series of events which bring us to the OT. Because the OT has the larger cultural mass. Therefore, we’ll ALWAYS know that Obi-Wan survives until the OT, we’ll always know that Anakin’s kids are Luke and Leia, because we’re born knowing the OT whether we’ve seen it or not. In fanediting we often talk about the ‘hypothetical first time viewer’. But trust me, the HFTV is viewing OT>Everything else.
That’s not to say there’s no development for the PT characters or reason to follow them - Obi-Wan in the Clone Wars is a great example of this - new layers of sass (Sassy Obi-Wan is best Obi-Wan), the Satine tragedy, the Maul tension - this is all additive even knowing that it won’t kill Obi-Wan, because it’s all emotionally meaningful to his character (except the sass, but it’s good sass). But an episode saying “WILL OBI-WAN DIE?” is boring, because no, obviously not.
BY WHICH I MEAN, the prequel era (and thus the Clone Wars) will always be the PREQUEL era. It was created, CULTURALLY, to precede and lead into the Original Trilogy’s story, and we mustn’t pretend otherwise. That doesn’t mean it’s valueless - it just means that its value exists beyond who lives and dies, and the fate of KNOWN characters. The EMOTIONAL impact on known characters, and the FATE of UNKNOWN characters, is where the meat of the prequel era lies.
And of course, it’s not to say that the PT is valueless - so long as we’re pursuing new threads, like Mandalore or resurrected Maul or anything NOT ‘spoiled’ by the OT, it’s all exciting, valuable stuff. I can’t wait to explore the rise of empire era in the Bad Batch, and neither can you.
ANYWAY one of the few real twists in the prequels is the relationship between Palpatine and Sidious, which isn’t spelt out in the OT (unless you’ve been paying attention to the credits, maybe), but it’s one of the few things in the PT (but not the original Clone Wars) that’s a suprise, and whether or not you know that Anakin becomes Vader, episode 3 hits best when all of these moments kick off at the same time. I don’t know why I respect that moment so much, but either way, it’s something I intend to preserve, because even though TCW is a prequel to episode 3, it’s NOT a prequel if you watch it in the OBJECTIVELY CORRECT ORDER as stated above in a way that CANNOT BE ARGUED because it is DEFINITELY RIGHT.

My s01e04 - The 501st Legion now has its v1.3 uploaded incorporating the notes from the last page.
My s01e05 - Cloak of Darkness v1.2 with fixed credits is uploading now, but I won’t be able to fix the link in the spreadsheet till the morning.
My s01e01 - The New Padawan has rendered a fixed version (v1.7), which I’ll upload in the morning.
Next up, s01e06 - Nightsisters (removing the invisible Dooku fight), then s01e07 - Ryloth (cleaning up the workprint). And then I don’t think the rest really needed much polish, but I’ll check.

RogueLeader said:

Regarding the Corruption episode stuff with the drinks, maybe they could be referred to as “T” because they’re full of liquid Tibanna gas.

Brilliant and obvious. If I go this route, I’ll use that.

Also, I enjoyed you rant on the order of watching the series. I think you’re absolutely right. Since Palpatine=Sidious is sort of treated as a reveal in the context of the prequels, then it makes sense to try to preserve that reveal for ROTS.

Yeah. That ordering accounts for the future state of a growing franchise but which grew out of the OT, and as the franchise grows (and the characters and stories grow beyond OT based plots), the prequel era continues to be both very interesting and not a spoiler for the OT. The Bad Batch, Fennec Shand, Obi-Wan during the Dark Times, Andor, these are all going to be exciting and new irrespective of us knowing the later fate of the Galaxy. But because Clone Wars focuses so much on elements of the OT (Anakin, Obi-Wan, Luke and Leia’s parentage, Sidious), it loses some jeopardy, so the highlight value of it should be carefully picked.

I guess this is sort of different, but I also feel like Vader tease in Mortis is a bit too much. Yeah, we all know Anakin is Vader or whatever, but in the context of the prequels, that reveal still doesn’t come until Revenge of the Sith. So, I guess I’m saying I feel like trimming out other forms of blatant foreshadowing should also be considered.

I agree. I love Anakin’s rising darkness, but I don’t like when we foreshadow too heavily. I’m already going to quite heavily cut Mortis, to make it much more of an ambiguous vision than something tangible and explicit.

EddieDean said:

My s01e04 - The 501st Legion now has its v1.3 uploaded incorporating the notes from the last page.
My s01e05 - Cloak of Darkness v1.2 with fixed credits is uploading now, but I won’t be able to fix the link in the spreadsheet till the morning.
My s01e01 - The New Padawan has rendered a fixed version (v1.7), which I’ll upload in the morning.

These are all now uploaded and available via the tracker spreadsheet.

Next up, s01e06 - Nightsisters (removing the invisible Dooku fight)

Rendering now. I removed all of the invisible fight, and changed the Dooku-Talzin phonecall (mainly to hide the broken glass.) Now, the phonecall emphasises how much Dooku likes Dathomiri stock, which ties back nicely to our s01e00 and those Tartakovsky scenes Hal added subtitles for.

This is a more streamlined version of the episode now, running at 55 mins instead of 61, and I don’t think we miss anything by cutting that long scene. Now, implicitly Dooku’s more badass since they know they can’t face him head-on without subterfuge. And now there’s only a single plan: “I want my revenge on Dooku” > “OK, let’s trick him using a sleeper agent.” This actually works pretty well, because it leans more into the whole darkside using subterfuge angle, but it’s also a fun parallel to exactly the intention of Order 66, which this streamlined version emphasises. “You’ll drop your guard if we give you a combat servant to fight for and alongside you”. They played the Sith at Sidious’ game and nearly killed Dooku with it.

I’ve also cleaned up a little of the later Jedi/Maul conflict, just to trim a couple of odd moments.

then s01e07 - Ryloth (cleaning up the workprint). And then I don’t think the rest really needed much polish, but I’ll check.

Working on now.

Turmeric. Perfect.

There’s an argument for just chronological, yeah. I ultimately introduced it to my daughter in order of age appropriateness. Either way, without meaning any offense, let’s not get too deep into it here, because ultimately that discussion won’t impact this edit and I’m wary of derailing the thread.

Just while I wait on some other stuff, I’ve been thinking about how I structure my future seasons. Since I have ~50 episodes (in my Quality Cut), and it felt right to define the Cad Bane arc as the finale of season one, that naturally extends out to giving us five seasons of eight to ten episodes each.

My current thinking is as follows:

• The first season is relatively well defined. It’s about the opening strikes of the war, and Ahsoka’s natural skill getting refined into competency through the experience of failiure. Nice.
• The final season is also relatively well defined. After the S4 finale (Ahsoka’s fall), it focuses on the growing mysteries in the run up to the end of the war, and there’s not much room to shift things around there. It pretty much goes: Scipio (using dialogue to make Anakin’s anger relate to the loss of Ahsoka), Order 66, Yoda’s quest, the liberation of Maul, Bad Batch, Martez, Siege of Mandalore. I might wiggle the order a bit but those are the beats.
• Season two is the continuation of season one, showing the Republic straining to keep a hold on the Galaxy with the focus mainly on third parties until the Geonosis finale.
• That leaves us with seasons three and four. Season three should open with Heroes on Both Sides, to give us proper shades of grey and start to question the binary conflict. Season four should end with Ahsoka’s fall. But in between there, very few episodes relate directly to one another, and these two seasons very much cover the majority of the larger standalone four-episode arcs from the original show. These arcs, I think, can go in pretty much any order, so I’d like to just find the strongest narrative here.
• Season three, starting with Heroes on Both Sides, I think I’d like to cover the entirety of the Lux Bonteri trilogy. And making Onderon its finale I think would work perfectly well, since it’s about rebellion, Saw Gererra, etc. It would feel right as a season ending, especially if we fill that season with Lux.
• Season four I think should end with Mortis (ominous, should go late in the show), followed by Sidious vs Maul, followed by Ahsoka’s fall.

But that still leaves most of the middle of seasons three and four. My main considerations are:

• I’d like each season to have one clone-focused episode. (1) 501st (Domino Squad), (2) My ‘Tales of the Lost Clones’, (5) Order 66. Umbara is the missing link there, though whether I put it in season 3 or 4, I’d probably like to balance it against another relatively clone-heavy episode in the other season. Kadavo gives Rex a kicking, so that might be the right one to have opposite Umbara.
• Obi-Wan has a fairly decent spread of episodes throughout: Death Watch, Return of Maul, another Maul fight, Kadavo, Rako Hardeen, and the big Mauldalore conclusion. That’s about one a season.
• Padmé does about as well as possible and is fairly well spread, with: Cad Bane, Coruption on Mandalore, Heroes on Both Sides, Rako Hardeen, Scipio, and Ahsoka’s fall. It’s just under one a season, but you don’t miss her for too long.
• BUT, more important than all of the above, I think, is getting Ahsoka’s arc right. I want her growth to be linear from S3 onwards, and be careful to be growing her every time. That’s the main thing I’ll put a bit more thought into. In this region she’s basically got Heroes on Both Sides, Hunted by Trandoshans, A Friend in Need, Slaves of Kadavo, Younglings vs Hondo, then her fall. It’s suprisingly light, so I think perhaps the right move is to keep the Lux arc together in Season 3, and instead have the Trandoshans and Younglings arcs in Season 4, to keep her presence felt there, even though I would have preferred to put the Trandoshans episode up earlier as it’s all about her growth. This way, Trandoshans could be something which reaffirms her commitment to Younglings, leading into that arc more formally.

Interested on others’ thoughts there.

Artan42 said:

I will say that after the canon series 3 (and the model change) up until the end of series 6, the characterisations of the mains and recurring supporting characters don’t really change too much. Obviously plots continue that have impacts on later stories so it’s not like they can go in any order, but the characters don’t change all that much. The main trio and Padmé are especially static after that point I feel.

I think this is accurate.

djonesed said:

just finished watching s01e01 and it was really well done! the first bit with ventress I noticed characters’ locations jumped around a bit suddenly a couple times, but the rest of the episode was really smooth. and the credits artwork was excellent. only technical issue I noticed was a stray frame at 14:20 when Anakin is talking to Rex (right after “there’s been a mix-up, the youngling isn’t with me”)

also, i’m getting ‘access denied’ on s01e04 and e05

can’t wait to watch the next one!

Thanks for the stray frame get! I’ve fixed the permissions on 104 and 105, so please enjoy! Keep that feedback coming!

Hmm. Thinking about what I shared earlier regarding ordering, I wonder if I should challenge my own assumption that the ‘mystery’ aspect should come in only at the end of the show. I wonder if the Order 66 arc and Yoda’s quest arc in particular might have a lot more value and create ongoing intrigue, earlier in the series.

In terms of the Order 66 Arc, the only thing you’d have to consider is Fives is in the Umbara Arc, but besides that I really think you could put the Order 66 Arc anywhere you want to break up the action with slower intrigue. Just an idea, but would it work as a “season premiere” for your Season 5? One reason that might work well is after Ahsoka leaves the Jedi Order it would slow down a bit to set up the dominoes for the last few arcs (which tie everything together) and then escalate to the finish line. Another alternative is to make it in Season 4 before Ashoka’s Fall which would fit with the theme of deception (things aren’t always what they seem) and betrayal that we see. That would make Season 4 kind of clone heavy though.

Re-released - s01e06 - Children of Night (v1.3)

With the removal of the invisible Dooku fight (which I think really works), slight changes to the Dooku-Talzin call, and minor trims near the end.

sonofabinadi said:

In terms of the Order 66 Arc, the only thing you’d have to consider is Fives is in the Umbara Arc, but besides that I really think you could put the Order 66 Arc anywhere you want to break up the action with slower intrigue. Just an idea, but would it work as a “season premiere” for your Season 5? One reason that might work well is after Ahsoka leaves the Jedi Order it would slow down a bit to set up the dominoes for the last few arcs (which tie everything together) and then escalate to the finish line. Another alternative is to make it in Season 4 before Ashoka’s Fall which would fit with the theme of deception (things aren’t always what they seem) and betrayal that we see. That would make Season 4 kind of clone heavy though.

I think I definitely want to follow Ahsoka’s fall with my Scipio episode, because I’m going to be making changes to that episode which make it more of a response to Ahsoka’s loss. But I’m thinking I could pull O66/Yoda possibly as early even as season 3.

So I think I’m going to do a little jiggling of Ahsoka episodes.

Season three will contain Ahsoka’s Lux arc:

• Heroes on Both Sides
• A Friend in Need
• Onderon (as the season finale)

This way there’s a focus on her relationship with a new character, a focused temptation and loss, and Onderon works as a finale because it’s about rebellion and Saw Gererra.

Season three will also give us the Maul Bros building power and working with the Mandalorians, for Rex it’ll give us the Umbara arc, and for Obi-Wan it’ll give us Rako Hardeen.

Season four will traumatise Ahsoka (and Obi-Wan):

• Hunted by Trandoshans
• Younglings vs Hondo
• Slaves of Kadavo
• Ahsoka’s Fall

This way, it becomes about taking her out of her comfort zone, testing her solo, making her doubt the strength or necessity of the Jedi order. We will also have Mortis (as a vision, not explicit) here, to hint at what’s to come.

Season four will open with Maul taking mandalore, and have him on its throne until just before Ahsoka’s fall, where Sidious will clean house. For Rex ideally it’ll have Order 66 in here, though I’m still working on that. For Obi-Wan it’ll be his enslavement in Kadavo and then Satine on Mandalore.

I think these chunks work nicely. Season two will feel like the most ‘anthology’ season, but it’s got episodes which tie back to previous arcs, and it continues to develop Ahsoka, so I think it’s theme is the Clone Wars spreading chaos.

I think my five seasons’ first lines of the text crawls become something like:

• It is the early days of the Clone Wars.
• The Clone Wars spread instability and chaos across the galaxy.
• The galaxy is exhausted under the ceaseless Clone Wars.
• The people of the galaxy suffer as the Clone Wars rage on.
• Mysteries abound in the final days of the Clone Wars.

EddieDean said:

I think I definitely want to follow Ahsoka’s fall with my Scipio episode, because I’m going to be making changes to that episode which make it more of a response to Ahsoka’s loss. But I’m thinking I could pull O66/Yoda possibly as early even as season 3.

Gotcha, I forgot about that! That’ll be exciting to see with the new context you’re adding.

Thoughts to self: I’d still very much like to get the shot of Anakin and Padmé hugging in from Evil plans somewhere, and possibly the scenes of Ahsoka and Padmé / Ahsoka and Yoda from Assassin.

Possibly the latter could go into Death Watch, since it’s now my episode two, and I could change “Anakin’s escorting Ahsoka elsewhere” to make it explicit he’s taking her off to further training (since canonically and in this series there’s a schooling element to being a padawan), either under Yoda or a bit of political training under Padmé. It’d still be pretty light though, and it feels like it might take the wind out of that episode’s sails. Not sure.

The former could go in a few places. For good heft it comes after a little trauma or a little introspection regarding romance, and it needs Anakin on Coruscant. So end of Death Watch could also work - he’s just spotted that Obi-Wan has some awkward romance stuff so he goes to Padmé to enjoy that he has some love in his life. It could also come during the Holocron Crisis, which is already quite Anakin/Padmé heavy, though right now I like how those few ending beats work (with Anakin being sus with Palpatine, then Ahsoka training the younglings.) Geonosis could also be an option but I haven’t reviewed that one in a long time.

Unrelated thought:

This memory may be out of date, but I think I was intending to cut Order 66 arc down quite a lot, for pacing and because it’s key moments are pretty sparse. If I can get the whole thing very short, I’ll also look to cutting it directly into Yoda’s first episode, the Sifo-Dyas one, if possible.

Re-released / properly released - s01e07 - The Blockade of Ryloth (v1.1)

This one is the last one that was still in ‘Review Cut’ of my original batch. ‘Review Cut’ means there’re elements I’m not necessarily settled on yet - and this episode was HEAVILY restructured from the original sources. On review, it flowed perfectly well, and I think some trims to awkward bits were what fixed it.

I’ve just fixed a few minor bugs here with this polish pass really, rather than anything radical. It was just an absolute pain to fix them because I’d lost my project files, so had to effectively patch up the current best output. It’s fine now, though please highlight anything that’s still sketchy.

Right, that’s me over the hump. I think I should be able to finish my polish pass this weekend, then next weekend my output should spike up again because I’ve got four days off, baby!

RaoulJuke2020 said:

Snip

That’s all really wonderful to hear, RaoulJuke, thanks so much for your feedback! That’s exactly why I’m doing this. Your insights as someone who’s not watched the original series (but who knows the rest of Star Wars well) will be really valuable, so please keep them coming! The questions you mentioned (Does the story flow? Does the story feel complete? Does the series have a continuity that wants me to come back and see more? Does it feel amateurish?) are all really important to me so it’s great to see that you’re thinking about it on those terms.

That’s interesting that you liked Cloak, because I think it’s one of the weaker ones! That one I haven’t touched much at all, I don’t think I made any major edits to that, but yeah that quiet scene was quite odd. There’re a few instances in the very early episodes where the music is a bit odd, maybe they only added the music as the last thing they did, and for some episodes perhaps they didn’t have time to properly finish it?

DFR was relatively heavily restructured to make it flow like an episode rather than feel like a series of short scenes, or at least with the intention that it felt like the timings all worked out.

Keep it coming, and I’m glad you’re enjoying it!